This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things...

[gaynip]

Sister:  Sick of it Dylan.  Like so beyond sick of it.
Me:  Chris*?  Or the fact that you can't get cool ranch pork rinds?

*Husband

Not that I can't talk to her about her marital problems - I'm more than happy to listen (and have for a very long time).  However

Comments

[ironphoenix]

Does she want to fix the marriage, or get out?

Until she makes that decision, you can't help much, because there is no direction in which to help.

Ignoring the marriage is not, in my opinion, a plan which will work out well for anyone concerned.

[gaynip]

She loves her husband - she would like to fix it. They've been through a lot with both of them majorly fucking up.

I'm not sure that he's ignoring it so much as he seems to think that what he's doing is fine, and it's not. She says they talk about it _all_ the time. When she told me about the issues I thought he sounded depressed but she says that isn't the case.

[ironphoenix]

Then... this is kind of hard, but I think it's still the right thing to tell you.

If you really want to help, no more sex. No more getting together in private, because that creates opportunity for sex which may be too hard to resist in the moment, and also makes it kind of hard for anyone else to believe that there is not still sex. They aren't poly, and even if they were or wanted to become so, they aren't in a place where they can add someone to their family now.

What you do is up to you, of course; I don't plan to harp on the topic.

[gaynip]

Well, I don't generally have sex with my sister....so I guess I'll be able to continue to resist that. ;)