AN UNBEARABLE FACT
Japanese translation by hyacinthdreams
AN UNBEARABLE FACT
Kanji
Romaji
明かりを落とし 沈む思想
愛情の奇形 歪む血縁
-The fact-
思い出せない微笑み
そう 何も聞こえない
冷たく風は窓を削る
意識の底で弾けた理想郷
もう言葉などいらない
「真実」は堪え難く
喉を引き裂いて
零れ出さぬように
残ったのは切望に狂う両目
もう言葉などいらない
「真実」は堪え難く
喉を引き裂いて
自閉の闇で見た
ぶら下がったままの愛憎
死と見つめ合い「果て」に触れる
置き去りの切望に狂う両目
akari wo otoshi shizumu shisou
aijou no kikei yugamu ketsuen
-The fact-
omoidasenai hohoemi
sou nani mo kikoenai
tsumetaku kaze wa mado wo kezuru
ishiki no soko de hajiketa risoukyou
mou kotoba nado iranai
"shinjitsu" wa taegataku
nodo wo hikisaite
koboredasanu youni
nokotta no wa setsubou ni kuruu ryoume
mou kotoba nado iranai
"shinjitsu" wa taegataku
nodo wo hikisaite
jihei no yami de mita
burasagatta mama no aizou
shi to mitsumeai "hate" ni fureru
okizari no setsubou ni kuruu ryoume
AN UNBEARABLE FACT
Translation
Notes by
Sinking thoughts shed light on
Love's malformation, twisted blood relation
-The fact-
There's a smile which I can't remember
so I can't hear anything
Coldly, wind abrades the window,
an utopia split open in the pit of my consciousness
I don't need something like words anymore
The "truth" is unbearable
Tear up my throat
So it doesn't start spilling out*
What remained were eyes gone mad from yearning
I don't need something like words anymore
The "truth" is unbearable
Tearing up my throat,
In the darkness of immurement* I saw
Hanged love and hate
Looking death in the eye, "the end" touches me
In yearning for desertion, my eyes go mad
In "so it doesn't start spilling out", the "it" refers to words, or truth. I feel that that verse is a continuation of the previous one, so it's 'tear up my throat so the words don't spill out'; however, it could also be referring to the actual throat.
自閉/jihei means autism, although it's rarely written like that (normally it's written as 自閉症). By itself, it can also mean autosynnoia ("self-preoccupation to such a degree that no attention is paid to the outside world"). These are very medical terms, though, and I didn't want to translate it as that. Since Ruki only wrote 自閉 (the kanji mean "oneself" and "to close/shut", respectively), I chose to translate it as immurement. It was the only single word I could think of that carries such a meaning (the verb immure means "to enclose within walls, imprison" or "to shut (oneself) away from society"). Immurement is also a type of execution where a convicted person is walled up in a room and left to die. Combined with the next line's mention of death, I thought this rather fit.