Memories
So, i'm doing some work in my room, and i cam across all these papers and notebooks. My favorite comes from before/durring sophomore year of HS. Over 4 years ago.
Here are some gems. They're mostly unfinished, and all short. Comment as you see fit.
(Scene: Heaven, or some reasonable facsimile there of. Dolores sits behind a desk, filing her nails. Tom, Jen, Devon and Kat are seated in assorted chairs, reading old Entertainment Weeklies. After a few seconds, Meg enters, a bit disconcerted. Tom elbows Jen in the side.)
TOM
Fresh blood.
DELORES
(Glances up.) Hello, Meg. Have a seat. He’ll be with you in a bit.
MEG
He?
KAT
Aw, sit down sweetie.
DEVON
(To Tom) Remember when you were brand new?
MEG
Um. Why don’t you make sense?
KAT
Welcome to the waiting room.
MEG
The waiting room for what?
KAT
Heaven
TOM
Or Hell. WE haven’t decided and Delores isn’t any help.
DELORES
Now, Tom, my job-
TOM
-is not to cater to the souls. I know that. You’re God’s personal whatever.
MEG
So, I’m dead? Am I waiting for judgment day?
KAT
As near as we can figure, it’s gonna be closer to judgment 15 minutes.
MEG
But.. I’m- er- I was Jewish.
(The room is quiet, as one by one, everyone turns and sneaks a peek at Jen, who is perfectly absorbed in her Entertainment Weekly. It may be worth noting that it has Milli Vanilli on the cover.)
JEN
Don’t care.
MEG
Care about what? (To Kat) What the hell-
KAT
Jen’s an atheist. Her time has come and gone like six times and she refuses to go in.
(Meg studies Jen for a few seconds before picking up a magazine. She flips through it a little before dropping in like old cheese.)
MEG
This is hell.
KAT
Why?
MEG
The EW is covering Titanic as a new release.
This may or may not have been a song.
I'm coming home today
For some reason the summer has been cold
I don't want to stay
Or return to my hold
You'd never believe it,
But I missed you today
And you don't notice a bit
No matter how long I stay
This is a letter
I'll never get to send
And i suppose it's for the better
You share a bed
With my best friend
I was so cute and le angsty.
Just a quote: "I get along well enough with mice, and I've always been fold of birds, but when you put the two together I'd just as soon avoid them." -Fflewdder Fflam
What?
This next one was supposted to be either a prequil or a sequil to ABSR. Either way, it's related.
(Scene: A crowded hallway. MORGAN, wearing a green cardigan sweater over a white tank top and jeans, stands talking to a group of people. NATALIE, all in black, and WYNN, wearing shiny blue jeans and something equally flashy on top, enter. As NATALIE sees MORGAN, a look of horror and disgust crosses her face. She steps forward and drags MORGAN downstage.)
MORGAN
Ow! What do you want?
NATALIE
That’s my sweater.
MORGAN
So?
NATALIE
You didn’t ask to borrow it, did you?
MORGAN
It was in my room.
NATALIE
So? You know it’s mine.
MORGAN
I- you saw me in it this morning!
NATALIE
Not through your jacket I didn’t!
MORGAN
Ugh. Nat, you’ve never cared before.
NATALIE
You’re right, Morgan. Walk all the hell over me. Take all my stuff, why don’t you? Why shouldn’t you have my sweater?
MORGAN
Stop.
NATALIE
Excuse me ?
MORGAN
This has nothing to do with your stupid cardigan. This has everything to do with-
NATALIE
You don’t want to go there.
MORGAN
Then - fine. (She removes her sweater and shows it at NATALIE.) Happy?
NATALIE
You’re not dress code.
MORGAN
So? You’ve got your damn sweater back, haven’t you?
NATALIE
I don’t need it this badly--
MORGAN
Take it.
NATALIE
Make me.
(MORGAN thinks about that for a second, and then begins to laugh.)
MORGAN
Make me! That’s my sweater! I’m four! (etc.)
NATALIE
(Gets more and flustered until she reaches backa dn slaps Morgan, hard, across the face.) KEEP IT! God forbid, Morgan. God forbid that I should be in your way when you want something.
MORGAN
What ?
NATALIE
I’ve never taken a single thing from you. Not eve what’s mine.
MORGAN
What are you talking about ?
NATALIE
EVERYTHING.
MORGAN
Eric.
NATALIE
No. Everything except Eric.
(Enter ERIC)
ERIC
(To WYNN) Am I interrupting?
(WYNN nods, raptly engaged in the quarrel.)
MORGAN
BS! You so want him back.
NATALIE
And if I did, would it matter?
MORGAN
Yes!
NATALIE
No. No, you’d still have him. And I’d - I’ll always be wanting. No matter what, you win! You always win.
MORGAN
No-
(But NATALIE wants no more. She walks away, leaving everyone else stupified. Finally, WYNN shakes her head.)
WYNN
Cover up, Morgan. God.
Also, in a random LJ today, a girl wrote about getting up "at the crack of don."
Make your own perverted boyfriend jokes.
Here are some gems. They're mostly unfinished, and all short. Comment as you see fit.
(Scene: Heaven, or some reasonable facsimile there of. Dolores sits behind a desk, filing her nails. Tom, Jen, Devon and Kat are seated in assorted chairs, reading old Entertainment Weeklies. After a few seconds, Meg enters, a bit disconcerted. Tom elbows Jen in the side.)
TOM
Fresh blood.
DELORES
(Glances up.) Hello, Meg. Have a seat. He’ll be with you in a bit.
MEG
He?
KAT
Aw, sit down sweetie.
DEVON
(To Tom) Remember when you were brand new?
MEG
Um. Why don’t you make sense?
KAT
Welcome to the waiting room.
MEG
The waiting room for what?
KAT
Heaven
TOM
Or Hell. WE haven’t decided and Delores isn’t any help.
DELORES
Now, Tom, my job-
TOM
-is not to cater to the souls. I know that. You’re God’s personal whatever.
MEG
So, I’m dead? Am I waiting for judgment day?
KAT
As near as we can figure, it’s gonna be closer to judgment 15 minutes.
MEG
But.. I’m- er- I was Jewish.
(The room is quiet, as one by one, everyone turns and sneaks a peek at Jen, who is perfectly absorbed in her Entertainment Weekly. It may be worth noting that it has Milli Vanilli on the cover.)
JEN
Don’t care.
MEG
Care about what? (To Kat) What the hell-
KAT
Jen’s an atheist. Her time has come and gone like six times and she refuses to go in.
(Meg studies Jen for a few seconds before picking up a magazine. She flips through it a little before dropping in like old cheese.)
MEG
This is hell.
KAT
Why?
MEG
The EW is covering Titanic as a new release.
This may or may not have been a song.
I'm coming home today
For some reason the summer has been cold
I don't want to stay
Or return to my hold
You'd never believe it,
But I missed you today
And you don't notice a bit
No matter how long I stay
This is a letter
I'll never get to send
And i suppose it's for the better
You share a bed
With my best friend
I was so cute and le angsty.
Just a quote: "I get along well enough with mice, and I've always been fold of birds, but when you put the two together I'd just as soon avoid them." -Fflewdder Fflam
What?
This next one was supposted to be either a prequil or a sequil to ABSR. Either way, it's related.
(Scene: A crowded hallway. MORGAN, wearing a green cardigan sweater over a white tank top and jeans, stands talking to a group of people. NATALIE, all in black, and WYNN, wearing shiny blue jeans and something equally flashy on top, enter. As NATALIE sees MORGAN, a look of horror and disgust crosses her face. She steps forward and drags MORGAN downstage.)
MORGAN
Ow! What do you want?
NATALIE
That’s my sweater.
MORGAN
So?
NATALIE
You didn’t ask to borrow it, did you?
MORGAN
It was in my room.
NATALIE
So? You know it’s mine.
MORGAN
I- you saw me in it this morning!
NATALIE
Not through your jacket I didn’t!
MORGAN
Ugh. Nat, you’ve never cared before.
NATALIE
You’re right, Morgan. Walk all the hell over me. Take all my stuff, why don’t you? Why shouldn’t you have my sweater?
MORGAN
Stop.
NATALIE
Excuse me ?
MORGAN
This has nothing to do with your stupid cardigan. This has everything to do with-
NATALIE
You don’t want to go there.
MORGAN
Then - fine. (She removes her sweater and shows it at NATALIE.) Happy?
NATALIE
You’re not dress code.
MORGAN
So? You’ve got your damn sweater back, haven’t you?
NATALIE
I don’t need it this badly--
MORGAN
Take it.
NATALIE
Make me.
(MORGAN thinks about that for a second, and then begins to laugh.)
MORGAN
Make me! That’s my sweater! I’m four! (etc.)
NATALIE
(Gets more and flustered until she reaches backa dn slaps Morgan, hard, across the face.) KEEP IT! God forbid, Morgan. God forbid that I should be in your way when you want something.
MORGAN
What ?
NATALIE
I’ve never taken a single thing from you. Not eve what’s mine.
MORGAN
What are you talking about ?
NATALIE
EVERYTHING.
MORGAN
Eric.
NATALIE
No. Everything except Eric.
(Enter ERIC)
ERIC
(To WYNN) Am I interrupting?
(WYNN nods, raptly engaged in the quarrel.)
MORGAN
BS! You so want him back.
NATALIE
And if I did, would it matter?
MORGAN
Yes!
NATALIE
No. No, you’d still have him. And I’d - I’ll always be wanting. No matter what, you win! You always win.
MORGAN
No-
(But NATALIE wants no more. She walks away, leaving everyone else stupified. Finally, WYNN shakes her head.)
WYNN
Cover up, Morgan. God.
Also, in a random LJ today, a girl wrote about getting up "at the crack of don."
Make your own perverted boyfriend jokes.