[oneshot] you are what you eat
Title: you are what you eat
Pairing: baekhyun/chen
Rating: nc17
Genre: au, mild romance
Warnings: swearing, sex
Author: gdgdbaby
Notes: mokbang celebrities au. chanyeol helps baekhyun moonlight as a connoisseur of outlandish foods. being called bug boy is like primary school all over again, but at least he gets a new friend out of it. 3,551 words.
Like most things, it begins with Chanyeol making fun of his face.
They're at the usual fried chicken place they like to frequent after Friday classes at K-ARTS, and Baekhyun has, against his better judgment, decided to try the newest item on the menu. "I don't even know what an Exploding Fire Ball is supposed to be," he says, clutching his chopsticks in a loose fist.
Chanyeol, true to form, has his phone whipped out, recording everything for posterity because of some video production course he's taking. He leaves a greasy fingerprint on the cover when he adjusts his grip. "That's the point," he says, supportive as ever, and watches with a frankly offensive air of glee as the server sets their food down on the table.
Baekhyun eyes his plate with a growing sense of trepidation. The dish looks awful. There's fucking hot sauce everywhere. His tongue is already curling in on itself imagining how it will feel when he cuts a piece of fried chicken breast off and sticks it in his mouth. "Okay, no," he says, scooting back in his chair. "Absolutely not. Can I chicken out?"
"That was a terrible joke," Chanyeol says, unconcerned. He props his chin in a hand and keeps recording. "Come on. The world is waiting."
Baekhyun cuts a thin sliver of chicken and picks it up with his chopsticks, holds it right in front of his face. The piece of meat steams gently in the air. By this point, Baekhyun can even smell how spicy it is.
He leans forward and clenches his teeth around it before taking the whole piece into his mouth. And then-Jesus Christ, pain, a world of pain-the entire inside of his mouth is on fire, pins and needles everywhere. As the chicken slides down his throat, the burning seems to spread to the rest of his body. His eyes start watering, and he can feel snot gathering up in the back of his nose.
Baekhyun has no idea what his face looks like but Chanyeol is literally howling with laughter, barely holding onto his phone, fingers scrabbling against the edge of their table. The people dining around them are starting to turn and stare. Baekhyun chokes on the last of the chicken, chewing gingerly, and swallows the rest of the spicy mush in his mouth. He snatches his cup of water off the table. Half of it sloshes over his hand in his haste to raise it to his mouth, and the rest only does so much to cool the awful sting. "Shit," he mutters. He sticks his tongue out of his mouth and pants like a dog. "Fucking shit, why did I think that was a good idea-?"
"Okay, now you have to finish the entire thing."
"Fuck that," Baekhyun says, shoving the plate away and nearly upending their basket of chicken wings. Non-spicy chicken wings. "You want to give it a try, then?"
Chanyeol's face turns a little ashen as he thinks about it. The last time he'd eaten a bite of Yixing's mild-ass kungpao chicken he'd had to chug three gallons of water after.
"Ha. Wuss."
Chanyeol sighs. "You should've seen your own face," he says, finally bringing his phone down. "Oh, wait. Thanks to me, you can."
Baekhyun grudgingly scoots his chair over as Chanyeol replays his video. He hadn't even realized he let out a hyena yelp when the chicken had first hit his tongue. His grimace is truly a sight to behold. Chanyeol's laughing his ass off again, shoulders shaking, a stray tear sliding down his cheek. Baekhyun seriously needs to invest in some better friends.
"You should be one of those mokbang dinner porn people," Chanyeol says after he catches his breath again, wiping at his eyes. "Except, like, funny. You know, those internet celebrities that eat a metric ton of food every night and livestream it? I'm sure people would want to watch you eat weird shit if it meant you made those faces all the time. What's the word? Schadenfreude?"
Baekhyun snorts and kicks him beneath the table. Chanyeol repockets his phone. They go back to the food that won't burn their damn tongues off, and Baekhyun forgets Chanyeol's offhand suggestion.
That is-until he logs onto Youtube the next morning and sees the clip that Chanyeol had taken of him on the list of featured videos. Half a million views, easy. When he pulls his phone out, he has like forty missed texts, twelve missed calls, and a voicemail from Chanyeol.
Two words. "Monetize, motherfucker!"
They start small. Chanyeol Naver searches a bunch of the weirdest things to eat in the world and puts in a ton of orders with the money he makes giving guitar lessons. Baekhyun invests in a webcam and new sheets for his bed to replace the Spiderman ones his parents had bought him when he was twelve. They do their first livestream on Thursday night, when people are bored enough with the work week that they're looking for ways to procrastinate, but can't exactly get smashed because they still have to wake up early the next morning.
Baekhyun has to eat an entire bag of novelty scorpion lollipops. "They can't be that bad," he says, eyeing the camera and then the bag of candy again. "Right?" if you die, Chanyeol types in the livestream chat, even though he's on the other side of Baekhyun's dorm room watching like a hawk, can i have ur dopeshit sweatshirt? "Fuck off, Chanyeol."
The first sucker he pulls out is a translucent blue. It tastes cloyingly sweet, thick and sticky, but not terrible. In the corner of his screen, the number of watchers keeps steadily rising. To keep things interesting, he starts fitting more and more suckers in his mouth, trying to see how many he can stuff in without choking. A green sucker joins the blue one, then a red, and a purple. It turns out seven is the limit. He makes a loud slurping noise as he sucks around them, cheeks hollowing out, and a line of drool trails out of the corner of his mouth.
He feels the first pinprick of a pincer against the inside of his mouth about half an hour in. He spits the others out onto a plate and focuses on that first blue one, until he manages to wear it down halfway and bite into the scorpion. He makes an exaggerated face of confusion and chews slowly. The outside of the scorpion has the crunchy texture of a shrimp's shell. The inside is pasty, a little sweet and a little salty. Baekhyun isn't quite sure if he likes it, but he doesn't really have time to decide, because the next bite into the scorpion, something pokes a bit too hard against Baekhyun's lip. He raises his hand to his mouth, and his thumb comes away bright red.
OH MY GOD, he sees Chanyeol typing on the screen, complete with about twenty emojis of shock and horror. ARE YOU BLEEDING?????
Despite the minor mouth injury, the first livestream is moderately successful. They just about break even on the cost of the scorpion lollipops. Chanyeol informs Baekhyun that his weekly escapades in fine dining will spread online via word of mouth. "We'll be rolling in cash in no time."
Which isn't really what happens, but things do get better. They start earning actual profit halfway into the fall semester, enough to pay for some of Baekhyun's more expensive textbooks.
"Why the fuck do you keep getting me bugs to eat?" he asks in October, snatching the bag of uncooked cockroaches out of Chanyeol's arms.
"I like watching you suffer," he says, and ducks when Baekhyun smacks the back of his head. "No, seriously, though. People pay to watch you eat weird shit. What shit is weirder than cockroaches?"
Baekhyun's shoulders sag. "I don't even know how to cook these things. How am I supposed to eat them? Raw? I'm not a chef."
"You're lucky you have me," Chanyeol says. He waltzes into Baekhyun's kitchenette and starts pulling cabinets open, looking for pans. "I found a recipe for Jamaican stir-fried cockroaches."
"I think I'm going to be ill," Baekhyun says faintly, feeling his stomach heave.
They end up livestreaming the cooking process as well. "Welcome to Park Chanyeol's segment of tonight's show," he says excitedly, making a peace sign at the camera. "In case you weren't aware, I'm the real brains behind this operation. Baekhyun just has a funnier face." He manages to avoid the sharp elbow Baekhyun tries to jab into his side while keeping his face on screen. "Anyway-today, we'll be teaching you how to cook and eat cockroaches."
Baekhyun sits to the side and watches with reluctant interest. Chanyeol merrily stir-fries onions and peppers in a big wok Baekhyun hadn't even known he'd owned. After the veggies are done, Chanyeol takes the raw cockroaches, frozen, de-winged, and de-legged, and dumps them in a pot of boiling oil for twenty seconds. Baekhyun gags a little as Chanyeol lifts the bugs out of the pot and drops them in the wok with the vegetables. The salt and cornstarch go in last.
He has to admit that it's beginning to smell okay. "I'm basically a superhero," Chanyeol says at the camera. He scoops out a huge mound of steamed rice from the cooker and slides it in front of Baekhyun, along with a plate piled high with stir-fried cockroaches. Jesus Christ. Chanyeol beams, arms folded over his apron, and says, "Dig in, buddy."
"If I die," Baekhyun grumbles, "I will come back to haunt you and strangle you to death with my DOPESHIT sweatshirt."
"You need to be more open-minded about these things," Chanyeol says, patting his shoulder. "Eat up! Cockroaches are supposed to be very high in protein."
Baekhyun plugs his nose and sticks the first bite in his mouth. The cockroach crunches dully between his teeth. It tastes-like chicken? Kind of? Except a lot greasier, which Baekhyun doesn't have a problem with. He shovels another bite in his mouth. Pretty good, honestly, if he doesn't think about what he's eating or where it came from.
"Chef Chanyeol wins again," Chanyeol says, clasping his hands together and waving them for the camera. Baekhyun nudges him aside and keeps eating, cheeks bulging with rice. "Kids, it's a bug-eat-bug world."
"You calling me a bug?" Baekhyun asks indignantly around a mouthful of food.
The moniker Bug Boy catches on, to Baekhyun's great chagrin. "I don't want to be known as this for the rest of my mokbang career," he moans, but has to concede when Chanyeol points out that Bug Boy's popularity and internet notoriety are increasing exponentially by the day. "People are going to get bored of bugs someday, you know. What will I do then?"
Chanyeol considers this thoughtfully. "You hate cucumbers, right?"
Baekhyun scowls and reaches out to pinch Chanyeol's arm. "Not as much as I hate you."
Chanyeol takes care of most of the technicalities of Baekhyun's livestreaming adventures, so it comes as a surprise when he slams into Baekhyun's dorm at the beginning of spring semester without a bag of bugs in hand. "Bad news," he says, jaw tight. He stamps the snow out of his boots and flops onto Baekhyun's couch. "ChenChen's moving into your usual timeslot because of a scheduling conflict."
"Who's ChenChen?"
Chanyeol digs through his backpack and cracks his laptop open, fingers flying over the keys. Baekhyun squeezes onto the couch next to him. On his screen is a recording of an AfreecaTV livestream, some other mokbang guy with thin, slanted eyebrows and a cute smile. As Baekhyun watches, ChenChen packs away an entire box of Bonchon in ten minutes like it's nothing. "He's really popular," Chanyeol says when it finishes playing. "I'm sure there's a ton of overlap between your viewership, so I don't think it's a good idea to keep continuing on Thursday nights. You don't need that kind of competition for the same time slot."
Baekhyun frowns, brow furrowed. "So you're saying he's competition."
"I guess so?"
"Hey," Baekhyun says, squinting at the screen as the video starts up again. "Wait, wait. I know that kid."
"What? How?"
Baekhyun chews on his thumbnail and thinks. On closer inspection, he's definitely seen those eyebrows somewhere before. Not Minseok's café, not choir with Kyungsoo, but-"He's in one of my classes this semester at K-ARTS," he says, leaning forward. "I think his name is Jong-something. Jongsuk? Jongd-dae. Jongdae."
"He goes to our school?" Chanyeol says, and then his curly head of hair is obscuring Baekhyun's view of the screen as he bends over to stare at it upside down. "How come I don't know him?"
"As much as you'd like to," Baekhyun says drily, "you don't actually know everyone on campus." He slides a finger beneath his chin, a plan forming in his head. "Don't worry, Chanyeol. I got this."
Chanyeol sends him a long look. "I know that voice."
"What do you mean? It's just my voice."
"That's your I'm going to sleep with him voice."
Baekhyun puts an innocent face on. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
He watches Jongdae's latest broadcast instead of doing his own later that night. The guy's sweet. Charming. Talks to his viewers and works his way through seven huge bowls of jajangmyeon in an hour and a half, which Baekhyun has to admit is pretty impressive. He doesn't think he's seen even Zitao pull something like that off, and he's on an athlete's diet for most of the year.
In the evening, Baekhyun gnaws his bottom lip raw while procrastinating on theory of composition homework. He can't stop thinking about the satisfied noises Jongdae had made around his chopsticks, how his mouth had twisted with pleasure after every bite. Baekhyun remembers what Chanyeol had called it the first time he'd brought the mokbang idea up: dinner porn. It's the closest thing Baekhyun's ever seen. Not the most obscene, but close enough.
He answers like two questions in his problem set and puts it away after staring at the next question for half an hour. There's a choir email sitting in his inbox, but he ignores it in favor of marathoning as many of Jongdae's videos as he can get his hands on. When Baekhyun closes his eyes in bed, Jongdae's face swims behind his lids, bright teeth gleaming with his laugh.
Jongdae looks different in real life, mostly because he's got that unkempt college student thing going for him at 9AM on Tuesday mornings, and he has a beanie on. Baekhyun, though, knows what he's looking for. He picks his way through the lecture hall and casually sinks down in the seat next to Jongdae's. "Hey," he says, offering his hand. "I'm Baekhyun. You're Jongdae, right?"
Jongdae doesn't look up at first, but when he does, Baekhyun's a little gratified to see a spark of recognition in Jongdae's eye. "Have I met you before?" he asks, forehead wrinkling.
"Maybe," Baekhyun says, lowering his voice conspiratorially. He's even more pleased to hear Jongdae's breath catch in his throat when Baekhyun leans forward into his space, arm reaching around to drape over the back of Jongdae's seat, close enough to feel the warmth of Jongdae's back through the layers of his clothing. "I'm kind of a big deal online."
Jongdae snorts. "Nice pick-up line."
"I'm serious," Baekhyun says, and makes a face.
Jongdae's nostrils flare. "Really?"
"Really."
"You're Bug Boy."
Baekhyun grins. "Hey, ChenChen."
"You know, you should consider expanding outside of the realm of insects," Jongdae says, spinning the pen in his hand. "I think you'd be good at it."
"Yeah, about that."
Jongdae sighs. "Sorry," he says, scratching the back of his head beneath his hat. There's a sheepish look on his face, like he already knows what Baekhyun's going to ask about. "Obviously I've seen your broadcasts before. I'm a huge fan, actually-but I'm starting voice lessons with a new private instructor during my usual times on Saturday nights. Had to move my mokbang thing."
"No, no," Baekhyun says, making a magnanimous gesture in the air. "I totally understand. It's not a problem. I have another type of proposition for you."
Jongdae's eyebrows jump. His gaze follows the trajectory of Baekhyun's tongue as it darts out across his lips. "Oh? What's that?"
"Well," Baekhyun says. He cocks his head to the side and smiles. "I was thinking we could do a joint stream or something. Partner up. Combine our powers for good."
"Hmm," Jongdae says, sounding intrigued. "I could be convinced, maybe."
This is how Baekhyun finds himself going home with Jongdae that afternoon. He lives in a studio apartment just off the main campus. Alone. No roommates. Which is great, because Baekhyun's already pushed Jongdae's jacket off and is lifting Jongdae's shirt over his head when they shuffle into his apartment. "We're not moving a little too fast?" Jongdae gasps into his mouth, hands clenching in Baekhyun's shirt.
"My motto is act first, think later," Baekhyun bluffs, but his heart is pounding loudly in his ribcage, too. He hasn't done this that often before. Let someone take him home, bend another guy back against a desk. The last time he'd come because of something that wasn't his own hand was-with Chanyeol, probably, the two of them trading easy handjobs with each other. But that had been years ago. After an intense period of experimentation in high school they hadn't really taken anything further. Something about Jongdae strikes a nerve deep inside Baekhyun, makes everything in his stomach tangle up into knots. Has him feeling more reckless than usual.
"Oh, yeah," Jongdae says, chuckling. "I can tell from your videos."
"Not a totally accurate representation of the person that I am," Baekhyun says as they fall onto the couch, Jongdae squirming underneath him, "but it's close enough."
Jongdae's kisses are as sweet as he looks, his mouth soft and plush. Baekhyun enjoys the feeling of their tongues sliding against each other, the wet warmth of Jongdae's lips. He pushes Jongdae further into the sofa, lets his whole weight drop down on him. "Are you always-so heavy?" Jongdae asks, laughter shot through his voice.
"You're comfortable," Baekhyun says. He wiggles around at random until his knee slots between Jongdae's thighs. Baekhyun's leg aligns perfectly with the bulge in Jongdae's pants. Jongdae makes a muffled noise in his mouth, an aborted move upward with his hips, and then they're rocking into each other, Baekhyun's breath leaving him in sharp pants.
He forces himself still when the dick-chafe gets to be too much. Jongdae exhales slowly, hands clenching around Baekhyun's waist. Baekhyun's head falls against Jongdae's shoulder. Looking down, he raises himself up, shakily undoes the button on Jongdae's jeans, and pulls the zipper down.
He catches Jongdae's audible swallow when he looks up again. Baekhyun leans in and nuzzles the swell of Jongdae's Adam's apple, watches it bob again. "This is-I mean. This is okay, right?"
Jongdae bares his neck further, lets Baekhyun run his mouth down towards his collarbone and suck. "Of course," he says, voice lilting into a high whine. "What are you waiting for?"
Baekhyun takes the opening with gusto, reaches inside Jongdae's boxers and tugs at his cock. He makes a pleased noise when Jongdae lets out a little cry and thrusts up into his hand, his cock hot and silky against Baekhyun's palm. A perfect fit. His thumb crests over the tip of Jongdae's dick and dips into the precum collected there. Brings it to his mouth as Jongdae watches, his stare heavy. Jongdae tastes salty, oily, a little bitter. Baekhyun smacks his lips and spits into his palm before diving back in again.
He's so focused on giving the perfect handjob that he doesn't even notice Jongdae's hands slipping past the waistband of Baekhyun's sweats until he's palming him, the drag of skin so good Baekhyun's head ensconces itself against Jongdae's neck, his back sagging. Baekhyun moves his hand faster. Jongdae catches on pretty quick because his fingers tighten in response, like he's ready for any type of competition Baekhyun can give him, the two of them racing toward the edge. He bites the shell of Baekhyun's ear, reaches around to press down on Baekhyun's waist, so their crotches align, thrusts up-
Baekhyun comes in Jongdae's hand, whimpering quietly into the curve of Jongdae's collarbone. Jongdae spills over right after, a sticky wad of semen landing in Baekhyun's palm. Jongdae scrunches his face when Baekhyun fishes his hand out and licks it clean, but his eyes are dancing the whole time.
To his credit, Jongdae doesn't immediately kick Baekhyun out of his house. They do composition homework together. Trade tips about livestreaming and how to deal with awkward fanmail. Jongdae doesn't even bat an eyelash when Baekhyun says slyly, "You know, we could try being actual porn stars. Real food porn is a thing, right? People eat sushi off other people in Japan."
"Whoa," Jongdae says, raising his hands. "Slow your roll. One step at a time."
"My friend Chanyeol found a cookbook for semen, once," Baekhyun continues, and Jongdae lets out a loud cackle, throat working. Baekhyun scoots over, can't help himself, and kisses him again.
fin
A/N: sorry there was no actual food porn...... maybe next time...
Pairing: baekhyun/chen
Rating: nc17
Genre: au, mild romance
Warnings: swearing, sex
Author: gdgdbaby
Notes: mokbang celebrities au. chanyeol helps baekhyun moonlight as a connoisseur of outlandish foods. being called bug boy is like primary school all over again, but at least he gets a new friend out of it. 3,551 words.
Like most things, it begins with Chanyeol making fun of his face.
They're at the usual fried chicken place they like to frequent after Friday classes at K-ARTS, and Baekhyun has, against his better judgment, decided to try the newest item on the menu. "I don't even know what an Exploding Fire Ball is supposed to be," he says, clutching his chopsticks in a loose fist.
Chanyeol, true to form, has his phone whipped out, recording everything for posterity because of some video production course he's taking. He leaves a greasy fingerprint on the cover when he adjusts his grip. "That's the point," he says, supportive as ever, and watches with a frankly offensive air of glee as the server sets their food down on the table.
Baekhyun eyes his plate with a growing sense of trepidation. The dish looks awful. There's fucking hot sauce everywhere. His tongue is already curling in on itself imagining how it will feel when he cuts a piece of fried chicken breast off and sticks it in his mouth. "Okay, no," he says, scooting back in his chair. "Absolutely not. Can I chicken out?"
"That was a terrible joke," Chanyeol says, unconcerned. He props his chin in a hand and keeps recording. "Come on. The world is waiting."
Baekhyun cuts a thin sliver of chicken and picks it up with his chopsticks, holds it right in front of his face. The piece of meat steams gently in the air. By this point, Baekhyun can even smell how spicy it is.
He leans forward and clenches his teeth around it before taking the whole piece into his mouth. And then-Jesus Christ, pain, a world of pain-the entire inside of his mouth is on fire, pins and needles everywhere. As the chicken slides down his throat, the burning seems to spread to the rest of his body. His eyes start watering, and he can feel snot gathering up in the back of his nose.
Baekhyun has no idea what his face looks like but Chanyeol is literally howling with laughter, barely holding onto his phone, fingers scrabbling against the edge of their table. The people dining around them are starting to turn and stare. Baekhyun chokes on the last of the chicken, chewing gingerly, and swallows the rest of the spicy mush in his mouth. He snatches his cup of water off the table. Half of it sloshes over his hand in his haste to raise it to his mouth, and the rest only does so much to cool the awful sting. "Shit," he mutters. He sticks his tongue out of his mouth and pants like a dog. "Fucking shit, why did I think that was a good idea-?"
"Okay, now you have to finish the entire thing."
"Fuck that," Baekhyun says, shoving the plate away and nearly upending their basket of chicken wings. Non-spicy chicken wings. "You want to give it a try, then?"
Chanyeol's face turns a little ashen as he thinks about it. The last time he'd eaten a bite of Yixing's mild-ass kungpao chicken he'd had to chug three gallons of water after.
"Ha. Wuss."
Chanyeol sighs. "You should've seen your own face," he says, finally bringing his phone down. "Oh, wait. Thanks to me, you can."
Baekhyun grudgingly scoots his chair over as Chanyeol replays his video. He hadn't even realized he let out a hyena yelp when the chicken had first hit his tongue. His grimace is truly a sight to behold. Chanyeol's laughing his ass off again, shoulders shaking, a stray tear sliding down his cheek. Baekhyun seriously needs to invest in some better friends.
"You should be one of those mokbang dinner porn people," Chanyeol says after he catches his breath again, wiping at his eyes. "Except, like, funny. You know, those internet celebrities that eat a metric ton of food every night and livestream it? I'm sure people would want to watch you eat weird shit if it meant you made those faces all the time. What's the word? Schadenfreude?"
Baekhyun snorts and kicks him beneath the table. Chanyeol repockets his phone. They go back to the food that won't burn their damn tongues off, and Baekhyun forgets Chanyeol's offhand suggestion.
That is-until he logs onto Youtube the next morning and sees the clip that Chanyeol had taken of him on the list of featured videos. Half a million views, easy. When he pulls his phone out, he has like forty missed texts, twelve missed calls, and a voicemail from Chanyeol.
Two words. "Monetize, motherfucker!"
They start small. Chanyeol Naver searches a bunch of the weirdest things to eat in the world and puts in a ton of orders with the money he makes giving guitar lessons. Baekhyun invests in a webcam and new sheets for his bed to replace the Spiderman ones his parents had bought him when he was twelve. They do their first livestream on Thursday night, when people are bored enough with the work week that they're looking for ways to procrastinate, but can't exactly get smashed because they still have to wake up early the next morning.
Baekhyun has to eat an entire bag of novelty scorpion lollipops. "They can't be that bad," he says, eyeing the camera and then the bag of candy again. "Right?" if you die, Chanyeol types in the livestream chat, even though he's on the other side of Baekhyun's dorm room watching like a hawk, can i have ur dopeshit sweatshirt? "Fuck off, Chanyeol."
The first sucker he pulls out is a translucent blue. It tastes cloyingly sweet, thick and sticky, but not terrible. In the corner of his screen, the number of watchers keeps steadily rising. To keep things interesting, he starts fitting more and more suckers in his mouth, trying to see how many he can stuff in without choking. A green sucker joins the blue one, then a red, and a purple. It turns out seven is the limit. He makes a loud slurping noise as he sucks around them, cheeks hollowing out, and a line of drool trails out of the corner of his mouth.
He feels the first pinprick of a pincer against the inside of his mouth about half an hour in. He spits the others out onto a plate and focuses on that first blue one, until he manages to wear it down halfway and bite into the scorpion. He makes an exaggerated face of confusion and chews slowly. The outside of the scorpion has the crunchy texture of a shrimp's shell. The inside is pasty, a little sweet and a little salty. Baekhyun isn't quite sure if he likes it, but he doesn't really have time to decide, because the next bite into the scorpion, something pokes a bit too hard against Baekhyun's lip. He raises his hand to his mouth, and his thumb comes away bright red.
OH MY GOD, he sees Chanyeol typing on the screen, complete with about twenty emojis of shock and horror. ARE YOU BLEEDING?????
Despite the minor mouth injury, the first livestream is moderately successful. They just about break even on the cost of the scorpion lollipops. Chanyeol informs Baekhyun that his weekly escapades in fine dining will spread online via word of mouth. "We'll be rolling in cash in no time."
Which isn't really what happens, but things do get better. They start earning actual profit halfway into the fall semester, enough to pay for some of Baekhyun's more expensive textbooks.
"Why the fuck do you keep getting me bugs to eat?" he asks in October, snatching the bag of uncooked cockroaches out of Chanyeol's arms.
"I like watching you suffer," he says, and ducks when Baekhyun smacks the back of his head. "No, seriously, though. People pay to watch you eat weird shit. What shit is weirder than cockroaches?"
Baekhyun's shoulders sag. "I don't even know how to cook these things. How am I supposed to eat them? Raw? I'm not a chef."
"You're lucky you have me," Chanyeol says. He waltzes into Baekhyun's kitchenette and starts pulling cabinets open, looking for pans. "I found a recipe for Jamaican stir-fried cockroaches."
"I think I'm going to be ill," Baekhyun says faintly, feeling his stomach heave.
They end up livestreaming the cooking process as well. "Welcome to Park Chanyeol's segment of tonight's show," he says excitedly, making a peace sign at the camera. "In case you weren't aware, I'm the real brains behind this operation. Baekhyun just has a funnier face." He manages to avoid the sharp elbow Baekhyun tries to jab into his side while keeping his face on screen. "Anyway-today, we'll be teaching you how to cook and eat cockroaches."
Baekhyun sits to the side and watches with reluctant interest. Chanyeol merrily stir-fries onions and peppers in a big wok Baekhyun hadn't even known he'd owned. After the veggies are done, Chanyeol takes the raw cockroaches, frozen, de-winged, and de-legged, and dumps them in a pot of boiling oil for twenty seconds. Baekhyun gags a little as Chanyeol lifts the bugs out of the pot and drops them in the wok with the vegetables. The salt and cornstarch go in last.
He has to admit that it's beginning to smell okay. "I'm basically a superhero," Chanyeol says at the camera. He scoops out a huge mound of steamed rice from the cooker and slides it in front of Baekhyun, along with a plate piled high with stir-fried cockroaches. Jesus Christ. Chanyeol beams, arms folded over his apron, and says, "Dig in, buddy."
"If I die," Baekhyun grumbles, "I will come back to haunt you and strangle you to death with my DOPESHIT sweatshirt."
"You need to be more open-minded about these things," Chanyeol says, patting his shoulder. "Eat up! Cockroaches are supposed to be very high in protein."
Baekhyun plugs his nose and sticks the first bite in his mouth. The cockroach crunches dully between his teeth. It tastes-like chicken? Kind of? Except a lot greasier, which Baekhyun doesn't have a problem with. He shovels another bite in his mouth. Pretty good, honestly, if he doesn't think about what he's eating or where it came from.
"Chef Chanyeol wins again," Chanyeol says, clasping his hands together and waving them for the camera. Baekhyun nudges him aside and keeps eating, cheeks bulging with rice. "Kids, it's a bug-eat-bug world."
"You calling me a bug?" Baekhyun asks indignantly around a mouthful of food.
The moniker Bug Boy catches on, to Baekhyun's great chagrin. "I don't want to be known as this for the rest of my mokbang career," he moans, but has to concede when Chanyeol points out that Bug Boy's popularity and internet notoriety are increasing exponentially by the day. "People are going to get bored of bugs someday, you know. What will I do then?"
Chanyeol considers this thoughtfully. "You hate cucumbers, right?"
Baekhyun scowls and reaches out to pinch Chanyeol's arm. "Not as much as I hate you."
Chanyeol takes care of most of the technicalities of Baekhyun's livestreaming adventures, so it comes as a surprise when he slams into Baekhyun's dorm at the beginning of spring semester without a bag of bugs in hand. "Bad news," he says, jaw tight. He stamps the snow out of his boots and flops onto Baekhyun's couch. "ChenChen's moving into your usual timeslot because of a scheduling conflict."
"Who's ChenChen?"
Chanyeol digs through his backpack and cracks his laptop open, fingers flying over the keys. Baekhyun squeezes onto the couch next to him. On his screen is a recording of an AfreecaTV livestream, some other mokbang guy with thin, slanted eyebrows and a cute smile. As Baekhyun watches, ChenChen packs away an entire box of Bonchon in ten minutes like it's nothing. "He's really popular," Chanyeol says when it finishes playing. "I'm sure there's a ton of overlap between your viewership, so I don't think it's a good idea to keep continuing on Thursday nights. You don't need that kind of competition for the same time slot."
Baekhyun frowns, brow furrowed. "So you're saying he's competition."
"I guess so?"
"Hey," Baekhyun says, squinting at the screen as the video starts up again. "Wait, wait. I know that kid."
"What? How?"
Baekhyun chews on his thumbnail and thinks. On closer inspection, he's definitely seen those eyebrows somewhere before. Not Minseok's café, not choir with Kyungsoo, but-"He's in one of my classes this semester at K-ARTS," he says, leaning forward. "I think his name is Jong-something. Jongsuk? Jongd-dae. Jongdae."
"He goes to our school?" Chanyeol says, and then his curly head of hair is obscuring Baekhyun's view of the screen as he bends over to stare at it upside down. "How come I don't know him?"
"As much as you'd like to," Baekhyun says drily, "you don't actually know everyone on campus." He slides a finger beneath his chin, a plan forming in his head. "Don't worry, Chanyeol. I got this."
Chanyeol sends him a long look. "I know that voice."
"What do you mean? It's just my voice."
"That's your I'm going to sleep with him voice."
Baekhyun puts an innocent face on. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
He watches Jongdae's latest broadcast instead of doing his own later that night. The guy's sweet. Charming. Talks to his viewers and works his way through seven huge bowls of jajangmyeon in an hour and a half, which Baekhyun has to admit is pretty impressive. He doesn't think he's seen even Zitao pull something like that off, and he's on an athlete's diet for most of the year.
In the evening, Baekhyun gnaws his bottom lip raw while procrastinating on theory of composition homework. He can't stop thinking about the satisfied noises Jongdae had made around his chopsticks, how his mouth had twisted with pleasure after every bite. Baekhyun remembers what Chanyeol had called it the first time he'd brought the mokbang idea up: dinner porn. It's the closest thing Baekhyun's ever seen. Not the most obscene, but close enough.
He answers like two questions in his problem set and puts it away after staring at the next question for half an hour. There's a choir email sitting in his inbox, but he ignores it in favor of marathoning as many of Jongdae's videos as he can get his hands on. When Baekhyun closes his eyes in bed, Jongdae's face swims behind his lids, bright teeth gleaming with his laugh.
Jongdae looks different in real life, mostly because he's got that unkempt college student thing going for him at 9AM on Tuesday mornings, and he has a beanie on. Baekhyun, though, knows what he's looking for. He picks his way through the lecture hall and casually sinks down in the seat next to Jongdae's. "Hey," he says, offering his hand. "I'm Baekhyun. You're Jongdae, right?"
Jongdae doesn't look up at first, but when he does, Baekhyun's a little gratified to see a spark of recognition in Jongdae's eye. "Have I met you before?" he asks, forehead wrinkling.
"Maybe," Baekhyun says, lowering his voice conspiratorially. He's even more pleased to hear Jongdae's breath catch in his throat when Baekhyun leans forward into his space, arm reaching around to drape over the back of Jongdae's seat, close enough to feel the warmth of Jongdae's back through the layers of his clothing. "I'm kind of a big deal online."
Jongdae snorts. "Nice pick-up line."
"I'm serious," Baekhyun says, and makes a face.
Jongdae's nostrils flare. "Really?"
"Really."
"You're Bug Boy."
Baekhyun grins. "Hey, ChenChen."
"You know, you should consider expanding outside of the realm of insects," Jongdae says, spinning the pen in his hand. "I think you'd be good at it."
"Yeah, about that."
Jongdae sighs. "Sorry," he says, scratching the back of his head beneath his hat. There's a sheepish look on his face, like he already knows what Baekhyun's going to ask about. "Obviously I've seen your broadcasts before. I'm a huge fan, actually-but I'm starting voice lessons with a new private instructor during my usual times on Saturday nights. Had to move my mokbang thing."
"No, no," Baekhyun says, making a magnanimous gesture in the air. "I totally understand. It's not a problem. I have another type of proposition for you."
Jongdae's eyebrows jump. His gaze follows the trajectory of Baekhyun's tongue as it darts out across his lips. "Oh? What's that?"
"Well," Baekhyun says. He cocks his head to the side and smiles. "I was thinking we could do a joint stream or something. Partner up. Combine our powers for good."
"Hmm," Jongdae says, sounding intrigued. "I could be convinced, maybe."
This is how Baekhyun finds himself going home with Jongdae that afternoon. He lives in a studio apartment just off the main campus. Alone. No roommates. Which is great, because Baekhyun's already pushed Jongdae's jacket off and is lifting Jongdae's shirt over his head when they shuffle into his apartment. "We're not moving a little too fast?" Jongdae gasps into his mouth, hands clenching in Baekhyun's shirt.
"My motto is act first, think later," Baekhyun bluffs, but his heart is pounding loudly in his ribcage, too. He hasn't done this that often before. Let someone take him home, bend another guy back against a desk. The last time he'd come because of something that wasn't his own hand was-with Chanyeol, probably, the two of them trading easy handjobs with each other. But that had been years ago. After an intense period of experimentation in high school they hadn't really taken anything further. Something about Jongdae strikes a nerve deep inside Baekhyun, makes everything in his stomach tangle up into knots. Has him feeling more reckless than usual.
"Oh, yeah," Jongdae says, chuckling. "I can tell from your videos."
"Not a totally accurate representation of the person that I am," Baekhyun says as they fall onto the couch, Jongdae squirming underneath him, "but it's close enough."
Jongdae's kisses are as sweet as he looks, his mouth soft and plush. Baekhyun enjoys the feeling of their tongues sliding against each other, the wet warmth of Jongdae's lips. He pushes Jongdae further into the sofa, lets his whole weight drop down on him. "Are you always-so heavy?" Jongdae asks, laughter shot through his voice.
"You're comfortable," Baekhyun says. He wiggles around at random until his knee slots between Jongdae's thighs. Baekhyun's leg aligns perfectly with the bulge in Jongdae's pants. Jongdae makes a muffled noise in his mouth, an aborted move upward with his hips, and then they're rocking into each other, Baekhyun's breath leaving him in sharp pants.
He forces himself still when the dick-chafe gets to be too much. Jongdae exhales slowly, hands clenching around Baekhyun's waist. Baekhyun's head falls against Jongdae's shoulder. Looking down, he raises himself up, shakily undoes the button on Jongdae's jeans, and pulls the zipper down.
He catches Jongdae's audible swallow when he looks up again. Baekhyun leans in and nuzzles the swell of Jongdae's Adam's apple, watches it bob again. "This is-I mean. This is okay, right?"
Jongdae bares his neck further, lets Baekhyun run his mouth down towards his collarbone and suck. "Of course," he says, voice lilting into a high whine. "What are you waiting for?"
Baekhyun takes the opening with gusto, reaches inside Jongdae's boxers and tugs at his cock. He makes a pleased noise when Jongdae lets out a little cry and thrusts up into his hand, his cock hot and silky against Baekhyun's palm. A perfect fit. His thumb crests over the tip of Jongdae's dick and dips into the precum collected there. Brings it to his mouth as Jongdae watches, his stare heavy. Jongdae tastes salty, oily, a little bitter. Baekhyun smacks his lips and spits into his palm before diving back in again.
He's so focused on giving the perfect handjob that he doesn't even notice Jongdae's hands slipping past the waistband of Baekhyun's sweats until he's palming him, the drag of skin so good Baekhyun's head ensconces itself against Jongdae's neck, his back sagging. Baekhyun moves his hand faster. Jongdae catches on pretty quick because his fingers tighten in response, like he's ready for any type of competition Baekhyun can give him, the two of them racing toward the edge. He bites the shell of Baekhyun's ear, reaches around to press down on Baekhyun's waist, so their crotches align, thrusts up-
Baekhyun comes in Jongdae's hand, whimpering quietly into the curve of Jongdae's collarbone. Jongdae spills over right after, a sticky wad of semen landing in Baekhyun's palm. Jongdae scrunches his face when Baekhyun fishes his hand out and licks it clean, but his eyes are dancing the whole time.
To his credit, Jongdae doesn't immediately kick Baekhyun out of his house. They do composition homework together. Trade tips about livestreaming and how to deal with awkward fanmail. Jongdae doesn't even bat an eyelash when Baekhyun says slyly, "You know, we could try being actual porn stars. Real food porn is a thing, right? People eat sushi off other people in Japan."
"Whoa," Jongdae says, raising his hands. "Slow your roll. One step at a time."
"My friend Chanyeol found a cookbook for semen, once," Baekhyun continues, and Jongdae lets out a loud cackle, throat working. Baekhyun scoots over, can't help himself, and kisses him again.
fin
A/N: sorry there was no actual food porn...... maybe next time...