To crush a neutron star
Well... the oral defense mock grant things is not going well, not going well at all. I've made next to no progress since my last post over a month ago. I have plenty of new sources to read.. so I'll spend today doing that as I switch to a totally new topic, which will hopefully be fruitful. I just can't come up with a satisfying idea. We can't write about our own research stuff, or it would be mildly easy; I have to make it about something afield from me and only vaguely similar in approach and idea. My PI wanted me to get an abstract done two weeks ago, but this is just not.. working out at all. Maybe my brain has just needed a break... but a month of no progress is way bloody more than enough.
Lab work is also spinning in the mud. I have four or five projects going at once, and none of them are really going anywhere per ce, despite doing tons of work each day. I get so close and then suddenly things don't work. Sure, that's the way science is, but it's frustrating, and I feel such a weight on my shoulders to perform outstandingly instead of just bare mediocrity since I was nominated for and received this $5,000 dollar Dean's Doctoral Graduate Fellowship out of the blue. Only one person per department or whatever is selected, so it's a pretty big honor. And now I don't feel like I'm living up to it in the least. I don't know if it goes to me or the lab, probably the lab, but still! People say I deserve it, and then I look at the fact I haven't made any progress, or so it feels to me, in the past month and it gets kinda depressing.
And my computer is still dead, as all the replacement parts I get for it alternate in being defective, so I have to RMA them to get my money back and try again and again... Gwahh, gotta RMA this latest motherboard now too. It's actually kinda funny, but annoying.
I should probably talk about happier things.. Oh! Blue's visit was amazing! Muchly incredible and fun. Seeing him go stunk, and I miss him quite a bit. And all the Teal'c say, "Indeeeed."
Be nice to have a friend around here again once Rynn gets in on the same day Rachel is flying back from Oklahoma where she and everyone else on her father's living will are trying to decide what to do with him now that his SCA is really getting bad (I suspect the medications for it are what are causing him the most trouble as SCA should only affect his motor skills, not his lucidity and consciousness). What else... got a new fridge after our last one pooped out, this one is much bigger and more awesome. I guess that's pretty much it. Time to go back to neglecting this place XD.
Lab work is also spinning in the mud. I have four or five projects going at once, and none of them are really going anywhere per ce, despite doing tons of work each day. I get so close and then suddenly things don't work. Sure, that's the way science is, but it's frustrating, and I feel such a weight on my shoulders to perform outstandingly instead of just bare mediocrity since I was nominated for and received this $5,000 dollar Dean's Doctoral Graduate Fellowship out of the blue. Only one person per department or whatever is selected, so it's a pretty big honor. And now I don't feel like I'm living up to it in the least. I don't know if it goes to me or the lab, probably the lab, but still! People say I deserve it, and then I look at the fact I haven't made any progress, or so it feels to me, in the past month and it gets kinda depressing.
And my computer is still dead, as all the replacement parts I get for it alternate in being defective, so I have to RMA them to get my money back and try again and again... Gwahh, gotta RMA this latest motherboard now too. It's actually kinda funny, but annoying.
I should probably talk about happier things.. Oh! Blue's visit was amazing! Muchly incredible and fun. Seeing him go stunk, and I miss him quite a bit. And all the Teal'c say, "Indeeeed."
Be nice to have a friend around here again once Rynn gets in on the same day Rachel is flying back from Oklahoma where she and everyone else on her father's living will are trying to decide what to do with him now that his SCA is really getting bad (I suspect the medications for it are what are causing him the most trouble as SCA should only affect his motor skills, not his lucidity and consciousness). What else... got a new fridge after our last one pooped out, this one is much bigger and more awesome. I guess that's pretty much it. Time to go back to neglecting this place XD.