Unravel Me (And I'll Sew You Back Together) / Part II
As days went by the time Taecyeon spent wondering about how he should be living his new life seemed to dwindle. Micromanaging was out, spur of the moment was in. He wasn't making sudden decisions at 5am to go skydiving or anything, but he could feel the shift and it was nice. He didn't know what caused it but he didn't question the good things in life.
“Are you reading another book? You only started that last one a day or two ago.”
Taecyeon was half watching Junsu, half doodling on his napkin. He had been planning to go out and explore the town outside of the downtown shopping area that day when he spotted Junsu. Plans changed, and instead he coaxed him into the only coffee shop in town.
And by coaxed all Taecyeon really did was grab Junsu's hand and drag him into the building since that left him in a position where he couldn't argue. That probably counted as taking advantage of the disabled, or something, but Junsu stayed and didn't look even a bit peeved over the sudden kidnapping so Taecyeon didn't think about it.
Junsu simply nodded in response to the question, not pausing in his reading. Apparently the book was interesting. Tilting his head Taecyeon read the spine of the book, Hearing and Writing Music. Something non-fiction this time. Then he remembered the conversation they had, or the conversation Junsu had been trying to have when he first snapped at him.
He didn't mind being ignored in favor of a book. Since he had managed to separate himself from his laptop for the day Taecyeon simply sat, sipping his still burning hot coffee stubbornly and looking at Junsu as he read. He looked the same as ever. Jeans, shirt, jacket, glasses. Though he did decide to change it up some with a hat today, which in Taecyeon's opinion looked a bit girlie, but the opportunity to rag on Junsu over that had not presented itself yet. Something about him felt different though. Now it felt like Taecyeon knew some secret, something about him he hadn't been supposed to know.
Nevermind the fact that most everyone in town probably knew it well before him and there was nothing “secret” about it. It still made him feel oddly good to have someone confide in him. Sure, he had friends back in his old life that he hung around with and talked with, but it was all rather superficial. This was something different, which frankly unnerved him a little. He didn't understand why Junsu had shown him. Taecyeon could admit he lacked when it came to social graces and knowing how to handle close relationships with other people at times. Something different meant he was starting to wade out of his comfort zone here.
Not wanting to think about introspective serious blah dee blah, Taecyeon shoved those thoughts on the back burner and went back to studying Junsu. He wondered what other interesting tid-bits of information he could manage to weasel out of him. There was bound to be plenty. No sooner had he started to let his imagination run wild did the light bulb in his head pop on. There was one secret he still didn't know about that was right there in front of him.
“Can you even read with those?”
At this Junsu did look up from his book, his eyebrow raising.
“Those sunglasses. It must be fucking dark when you wear them inside.”
A shrug and Junsu was back to his book. But Taecyeon wasn't about to let this go.
“What are you hiding behind there?”
In one quick motion he stood, leaned over the small table, and snatched the sunglasses right off Junsu's face. And suddenly chaos erupted. Junsu practically threw the book out of his grasp, his hands flying straight up to his eyes, covering them before Taecyeon could so much as get a millisecond long glance. The book was flung across the table and only stopped when it went crashing into Taecyeon's coffee. The searing hot liquid spilled out, making a b-line for Taecyeon's crotch. Thankfully his drink avoiding reflexes had been quickened and he clattered out of his chair a split second before any of it could ruin his future chances of being a father. God bless Counter Boy.
A moment of silence passed, neither of them moving. Finally Taecyeon let out a loud sigh of air he didn't know he had been holding in.
“Holy crap.”
Glancing around he expected to see the evil stare of small town folk. But unlike the diner this place was empty. The teenage girl behind the counter hadn't even looked up from her cell phone. That was good because Taecyeon was sure he had just royally screwed up.
“Are...are you okay? Did I blind you? Tell me I didn't just blind you or something.”
Junsu sat, hands still firmly covering his eyes, his head shaking in a small but firm no. Okay. That was good.
Terrible bodily injury off the cards Taecyeon quickly got to work on the coffee that had now pooled across the table and the floor, sopping it up with about half the napkins in the dispenser. He glanced at Junsu now and then, but he might as well have been a statue, his position unchanged each time.
When the coffee was finally gone and his fingers sticky, Taecyeon sat back down, trying to quickly calculate the best way to fix the rest of the mess he made.
“I'm sorry. Really sorry. I didn't know you'd freak like that. I just um...wanted to know, you know, why you wore those sunglasses all the time. You can put them back on, they're on the table. I'll close my eyes so you can. Promise I won't peek.”
Taecyeon did as promised after the end of his rambling apology, his eyelids shut so tight they hurt. After a few moments he could hear the faint ruffle of fabric and a plastic clacking. Then Junsu reached out, tapping him on the arm, which Taecyeon took to mean it was safe to look now.
When he opened his eyes Junsu wasn't looking at him. Taecyeon could tell because he hadn't put the sunglasses back on. Instead he was looking out the window, his hands doing that fidgety thing Taecyeon noticed they did sometimes. Finally his glance slid back over and the two made eye contact.
“I was expecting you to have those plastic little googly eyes.”
Junsu fixed him with a glare, but a smile gave away his true feelings. His eyes were completely normal. Taecyeon could see faint stitching, creating the eye shape, but eyeball, eyelashes, all 100% human. Now he was confused.
“Why do you hide them? There's nothing wrong with your eyes.”
It's weird. Or people think it is even if they dun say so. I'm all arts and crafts and then...normal eyes. Easier to cover em so no one feels uncomfortable if I look at em.
“But your hair is normal too and you don't cover that everyday.” Taecyeon reached across the table, flicking up a bit of Junsu's hair that was sticking out from his hat. “There's nothing weird about your eyes.”
Really? Doesn't it feel awkward if I look at u? U don't have to lie.
“Really. I like it better this way. You look less like some kind of suspicious criminal.”
He wasn't sure why he felt the need to be so reassuring but it worked. Junsu smiled, and this time Taecyeon could see the way his eyes scrunched up and almost disappeared, little wrinkles forming at the corners.
The next time he saw Junsu he still had his sunglasses on, but now the dark lenses that had been hiding him were gone.
XXXXX
It was late. How late Taecyeon didn't know, the hours passing by without any notice. He was sitting on his second-hand sofa with tv, a beer, and his laptop to keep him company. He had been trying to get work done after an angry email from a client reminded him he actually had some, but he was bored and unfocused. Staring at strings of symbols and numbers didn't sound so appealing at the moment.
His fingers wandered the keyboard, clicking and typing random things, stumbling around the internet trying to find something interesting. He typed in “doll people” on youtube but all that brought up was some old movie and a bunch of boring home videos. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or something to feel sad about.
More random typing and clicking. Just when he was about to call it a lost cause he found something that caught his eye. He recognized what was going on in the video, though he hadn't known the name for it. Curious he sat up, now intrigued and awake, a search for more information kicking in.
Once the sun was up again, he was on a mission. He had stayed up late and then slept in well into the afternoon which worked to his plan's advantage. Armed with a smirk he practically power-walked all the way downtown, prowling around the streets and shops looking for a certain someone. When his target failed to reveal itself he widened his search and headed out of town and into the neighborhoods. He'd only been once before but thankfully had a good sense of direction and found his way.
There was no car in the driveway this time, but he knocked on the door anyway.
Junsu answered, looking pleasantly surprised. His smile turned to dumfounded surprise when Taecyeon said hello.
Or rather, when he spelled it with his fingers.
Once the shock wore off Junsu was a flurry of movement, his hands quickly signing. Taecyeon tried to follow but a few hours of study meant he didn't understand a damn thing Junsu had said to him.
“I have no idea what you just did.”
Junsu disappeared into the house leaving Taecyeon to stand confused on the porch. Soon he returned with a piece of paper in hand, words already on it.
Do u know sign language or don't u???? Why didnt u tell me??
“I spent a few hours last night learning how to....finger spell? I learned the alphabet. That's all I know.”
That seemed enough to get Junsu excited. He hooked Taecyeon's arm and pulled him into the house, almost forgetting to even close the door behind them, half sprinting to the living room and haphazardly throwing him onto the couch. Junsu may have been made of fabric but suddenly Taecyeon felt like the rag doll.
With a Very Serious expression Junsu sat on the coffee table in front of him, his fingers slowly spelling out words letter by letter.
Can you understand this?
After a moment of intense concentration Taecyeon signed back.
Yes.
Junsu started grinning so hard Taecyeon was worried his stitches were going to pop. He looked rather insane, actually. Happy but insane. And Taecyeon found himself smiling back.
They spent the next few hours, side by side on the sofa, talking together about mundane things like the weather and their favorite colors so Taecyeon could practice. Junsu still split his time between signing and paper, finger spelling out some sentences letter by letter being too time consuming. Plus he didn't want to overload Taecyeon's brain all at once. He proved to be a rather quick study though and after the first hour Junsu only had to reach out and reposition his fingers from time to time, and he began to teach him words instead of only letters.
When Junsu's dad came home from work Taecyeon was still there. This time he properly introduced himself, finger spelling his name as he did. His dad looked at the two of them, Junsu like a proud mom and Taecyeon like a dog who performed a trick right and was waiting for his treat, and laughed.
XXXXX
Taecyeon was on another voluntary solitary stint. Sort of voluntary. His work continued to pile up and he continued to do nothing about it except complain. This turned out to be the wrong thing to do because once Junsu knew how badly he had been slacking Taecyeon found himself shunned. His texts went unanswered and apparently Junsu was a hide and go seek champion because he wasn't to be found anywhere around town. He also guessed that any more home visits would be ignored too. He felt confident he could have pressed and eventually wore Junsu down using messages filled with ;_; and ㅜㅜfaces. But in the end this was for the best, and so dutifully he did his work.
He allowed himself one cheat to keep his sanity and had spent his two days working in the library. Still quiet enough to work but not quiet enough to drive him crazy.
It was getting to the home stretch when a loud thud on his table startled him out of his focus.
“So you're here after all.”
Counter Boy stood by his table, a pair of books tucked under his arm.
“Should I not be?”
“No. Junsu just said you'd probably be here,” he tapped the books under his arm, “so he sent me to run an errand for him. He didn't want you to see him and get distracted from whatever you're doing.”
“Oh....k.” Taecyeon drawled, not sure why this conversation was even happening. He never expected Counter Boy to ever bother with him outside of his job considering their.....history.
“I didn't know you had such poor self-control, don't seem like that type of guy.”
“Excuse me?”
Counter Boy waved away the question with a smirk. “Don't worry about it. You may suffer from foot-in-mouth disease but your intentions seem good. I don't mind you stealing away my best friend as long as you treat him right.”
“Uh..”
“I'll be watching you!”
Counter Boy called behind him as he walked away, disappearing between shelves of books and out of sight. Taecyeon turned his attention back to his laptop, slowly getting back into his groove. He couldn't help but feel like he was missing out on something. The worry was short lived, however, quickly whooshed away when the last line of code was typed and the last simulation done. Taecyeon could finally go back to ignoring his job.
XXXXX
Summer was coming to a close. Taecyeon couldn't believe it really, that he'd already spent months in this new town. It seemed like only a few weeks ago when he got in his car and started his road trip to nowhere.
As a last hurrah to the season Junsu and Taecyeon decided to have a picnic in the park. A manly picnic as Taecyeon insisted on calling it. He had been surprised since Junsu was the one to suggest it and he didn't exactly eat, but it was probably one of the last warm days left so he went with it. They picked up the lunch part of the picnic from the diner and had to listen to Counter Boy whine about how they always left him out of the fun. Then he quickly changed his tune, saying he understood they needed alone time so it was okay. By the expression on Junsu's face Taecyeon was glad to know he apparently wasn't the only one mystified by Counter Boy's words.
Picnic blankets were deemed unmanly and so they sat on one of the ratty sheets Taecyeon had gotten at goodwill for his bed. While Taecyeon ate they worked out a pretty good system, and he was glad he had learned to finger spell and sign so he could talk back to Junsu with his mouth still stuffed full. He also insisted that Junsu stick to writing instead of signing because manly picnics were a time for relaxing, not language practice. This earned him an eye roll but Junsu didn't try to argue.
Stuffed full of food, Taecyeon fell back onto the sheet with a satisfied sigh.
“He may be crazy but he sure does make good food.”
He doesn't make it, his parents do. They don't allow him to cook lol.
“Whatever. Whoever makes it, it's good.”
Hey that reminds me, how is ur mom? Still sick?
“Nope. I had an email from her this morning. She said she was fine now.” Taecyeon looked up at the sky, eyes squinting at the sunlight. “What about yours?”
??
“Your mom. You've never said anything about her, and there are no pictures of her in your house. Did something happen to her?”
No. Well, I dunno. She left after I was born so I don't know anything bout her. My dad hasn't heard from her in years either.
“She was human?”
Ya.
“Oh. Sorry man, about her leaving. That's messed up of her.”
Junsu shrugged it off like he wasn't bothered, but looked away from Taecyeon, suddenly interested in the playground equipment on the other side of the park. Taecyeon hmm'd a little, the wheels in his head turning.
With a sudden clap he sat up, repositioning himself in front of Junsu. “Tell me more.”
More? More what?
“More anything. About you. You're a bizarre walking teddy bear and yet there is much I have yet to learn. You are a mystery wrapped in a pillowcase.”
A swift punch was delivered to his shoulder, which he graciously let pass without a comment involving the words “hit like” and “girl”.
I'm not a teddy bear u dick. U see fur? Don't think so. Sides it's really not so interesting bein like me.
“You're lying through your teeth. Er, stitches. Like I bet you've had a totally sheltered life. Tell me all the things you've never been able to do.”
I dunno man. I bet u could figure it out urself.
Junsu was shifting in his seat, hands wiggling and eyes avoiding any contact. He seemed nervous but Taecyeon wasn't going to be so easily deterred. There were all these things he didn't know about Junsu despite the time they had spent together, and it was picking away at his brain. Somehow Junsu had managed to learn so many things about his own life but Taecyeon barely knew anything about his. Now he wanted to hear anything and everything Junsu had to say. The desire was sudden and he didn't know where it came from but he felt he couldn't ignore it.
“Can you drive?”
No, not strong enough to keep peddles pushed in.
“Have you ever, in your entire life, touched water?”
On accident sometimes.
“Did you feel it? Do you feel at all?”
Yeah. I can feel if I touch something or it touches me. I dun feel pain or hot or cold tho, stuff like that.
“So if I set you on fire you wouldn't feel anything?”
The fuck man!?
Taecyeon barreled on, undeterred by the angry message that had just about smacked him in the face. “What about ah...” he glanced around the park, his brain trying to come up with more questions to ask. “Trees. Have you ever climbed a tree?”
Junsu glanced at the tree closest to them, shaking his head.
No. Dad always told me it was dangerous, so never tried.
“Seriously? You're missing out. I spent my childhood climbing trees. Always made me feel like a super hero to sit at the top and be able to see out so far.”
For a moment Taecyeon lost himself in nostalgia, thinking of the time he fell out of a tree and broke his arm with a grin. Junsu watched him curiously but didn't intrude on his walk down memory lane.
“Guess it wouldn't be as fun now since I grew up tall....anyway!” Back to earth and back to thinking, Taecyeon rubbed his chin exaggeratedly. “What about what you want to do? Like a job. You're older than me but still a slacker.”
The dig passed by unacknowledged. Junsu focused on the pencil in his hand, trying to choose what he wanted to say.
I want to be famous.
“That's easily done.”
Not for being a freak.
That wiped the grin right off Taecyeon's face. Junsu began writing again, not waiting for a response. The sound of his pencil stretched on for several minutes and Taecyeon could sense a change in his mood as he kept writing. He couldn't place it, but it was something he'd never seen from Junsu before. Finally he handed the pad over after a moment of hesitation.
I wanna make music. That's what I wanna be famous for. I wanna make songs that everybody loves and everybody will keep with them. No one will ever have to see me, but they'll know who I am thru my music. When i'm gone that's what people can remember me for. Not anything bout who I was or what I was made of.
Taecyeon stared at the words in his lap. The sudden confession surprised him, and now he found he didn't know what to say to this. He'd never been good with meaningful heart to heart talks and spent most of this life avoiding them when it came to other people. He liked to keep things light, fun. No emotional baggage. He was the master of deflecting everything with a joke. But he realized he had basically walked right into this one and didn't know how to walk out. For once he had wished he'd kept his big trap shut and not been so nosy.
The moment stretched on and he could feel the awkward atmosphere starting to build between them, so he simply looked up and said the first thing that came to mind.
“I'll remember you. For you, your music, whatever. I'll remember you for it for sure.”
Junsu smiled, but this time Taecyeon could see it didn't reach his eyes and he wondered how many times before he had been faking.
Taecyeon didn't call him out on it though, and Junsu seemed just as happy as he was to let the subject drop, so onward the picnic continued. There was no more 20 questions or discussion of the past or future. They simply joked and talked until the sun was gone and the summer day had ended.
XXXXX
The walls were closing in. Literally. Or so it seemed. Taecyeon wasn't sure of anything at the moment. The past three days had been spent in a semi-conscious haze of fever and snot. He had long ago run out of pain killers and toilet paper to help remedy both of them and was now relying on vodka and an old t-shirt, but he couldn't say it was helping much.
A knock on his door managed to draw his attention out of what he hoped were hallucinations. He called out as loudly as he could for whoever it was to come in, hoping it would be a door to door murderer come to put him out of his misery. Instead a very confused and rather disheveled looking Junsu appeared by his bedside.
He began to sign but quickly stopped when Taecyeon groaned and threw an arm over his eyes.
“Oh god I'm going to vomit. Don't move so much. Why are you even here.”
After a few minutes, and after he had almost convinced himself Junsu had been another hallucination, a paper towel with words scribbled on it in sharpie was laid on his arm. He stared at it and willed his brain to focus.
R u ok? I txted u hours ago and asked where u had been. U just messaged me back like 20 min ago and said there was bears in ur house. I think. Ur typing was pretty shit.
“I don't remember any of this. Sorry. I've been sick for a few days now I think.”
Junsu frowned and quickly took the paper towel back, writing another note on it and then disappearing.
I'll be back, just wait.
So Taecyeon waited, at some point during the waiting falling asleep. The next thing he was aware of was a gentle poking at his face. It tickled. Ineffectually he tried to swat whatever the fuzzy annoyance was but it wouldn't give up. At last he cracked his eyes open and saw Junsu again, sitting next to his bed, a small cup in his hand.
He held it out to Taecyeon and he took it without question, gulping down the liquid in the cup. The disgusting faux cherry taste immediately told him it was medicine of some kind. Junsu took the cup back and disappeared again. Taecyeon could hear water running and after a moment Junsu was back, a washcloth in hand. The shock of the cold washcloth against his forehead made Taecyeon shiver at first, but then it was like heaven. Suddenly he didn't feel so much like a turkey cooking in an oven.
“Do you get sick?”
Junsu shook his head no. What a lucky bastard.
Another few minutes of blissful chill passed and Taecyeon's poached brain slowly started to processes his current situation. He tilted his head as best he could to get a look at Junsu.
“You're in your pajamas. What time is it?”
Junsu held up 3 fingers. Three rather sad, soggy looking fingers, the fabric darkened.
“You got wet too.”
The observation was ignored, Junsu reaching out and giving the washcloth a few shakes to recool it before placing it back on Taecyeon's forehead. Taecyeon was sure there were other things he wanted to say, but the medicine was kicking and it was too hard trying to think what they were. Soon fell back into sleep instead.
When Taecyeon woke again the sun was out. He rolled over onto his side and was surprised when something came flopping down onto his face. He reached up, remembering the washcloth now. It was still wet. He looked over next to him and Junsu was still there sitting by his bed. This time he had some paper and a pencil to work with instead of paper towels. Taecyeon noticed it seemed to be taking more effort than usual for him to write, but he didn't say anything.
Feelin better? U woke up in time for more meds.
“I think my fever has gone down some. At least I'm not hallucinating anymore. Have you been up sitting there the whole time?”
Junsu gave a nod as he poured out another cup of liquid, handing it to Taecyeon. As he reached out to get the cup back he was stopped, Taecyeon grabbing his hand and pulling it toward him. He looked it over, pressing and poking at the wet fabric and soppy cotton of his fingers.
“You really are going to mold. What an idiot. I didn't ask you to be my nurse.”
Taecyeon pulled again, this time tugging his whole arm. Confused, Junsu pulled back, but Taecyeon didn't seem to notice. He shifted and shimmied himself to the other side of the bed and gave Junsu another yank.
“Come on, I don't want to pull out your stitching. Lay down already.”
An adamant shake of the head earned him an eye roll.
“I don't need you sitting by watching me like a stalker. You didn't get any sleep so come on. I don't wet the bed or anything I promise.”
Reluctantly Junsu gave in, too tired to put up a fuss and crawling into the bed next to Taecyeon. He had to admit he was ready for a nap after staying up all night. He wiggled onto his side, hugging the edge of the bed and trying to take up as little room as possible. And put as much room between them as possible. He didn't even dare touch the covers.
Taecyeon didn't seem to notice or care about any potential awkwardness in their current arrangement, lost in his own universe of painkiller and sleep aid, and within no time he was in another deep sleep. It was only then that Junsu could relax and was able to close his own eyes.
XXXXX
You should decorate your house. It's boring.
Taecyeon was sitting up in bed, pillows propped behind him. After a day of rest and proper pampering he was feeling better. And now that his head pains were gone and Junsu's hands were dry it was back to signing. Recently Junsu had become a more strict teacher and there was no use in arguing that he was too weak and feeble to do it. Instead he signed slowly, in an attempt to hopefully annoy Junsu into giving up, but he had yet to seem bothered.
“Why? You're the first person to see my place. It's not mine anyway.”
Dunno. I just figure if you are going to be staying here you should make it homey. But up to you man.
Standing up, Junsu gathered up trash and dirty supplies up from the nightstand with one hand and spelled with the other.
Hungry? I got stuff at the store.
“You can cook?”
Does it look like I would know how to cook?
“No. But I wouldn't think you'd know how to take care of sick people either.”
I'm surrounded by humans. Some things I can pick up on. It's called learning.
Then Junsu was gone, not bothering to wait for an actual answer. Taecyeon heard rummaging around in the kitchen, dishes clinking and the microwave humming. It was a little strange, being taken care of like this, now that he could actually think about it with a clear head. His own mother hadn't even looked after him while he was sick in a long time. But he wasn't going to complain about having someone cater to his whims even if he had to be delirious and feverish for it to happen. And if he found himself waking up snuggled next to the world's only living body pillow and liked it, well, he'd keep that to himself.
Part III END