Comments | geek3o1415: A fallen feather

geek3o1415

A fallen feather

Mar 08, 2005 00:01

Over the last year I have learned much about magic, interconnectedness, the power of intention, and the Divine. I have to say, it's not easy to believe in any of these things. It's very easy to conform to society's view of what is real and possible, even when other realities and possibilities hit you right in the face. It reminds me of the Robert ( Read more... )

Comments 13

mica_mirrors May 4 2005, 11:54:10 UTC

So that's why you disappeared! Not that I ever resented you for it; we both know I had already disappeared as a friend for you, anyway. I felt that we needed very different things in our lives and were not good for each other. I think that may still be true, but I want to tell you that I'm very happy for you, since you are beginning to find what you need. Your "coincedences" remind me a great deal of all the strange circumstances surrounding me and Ron, especially when we first met ( ... )

geek3o1415 May 4 2005, 16:52:48 UTC

Thank you so much for your honesty! I don't like getting in anyone's way. When I feel I am in the way, I tend to withdraw. That's why I disappeared. I started feeling like a hindrance to you, and when I asked you about it, you assured me you were just 'busy.' I still sensed there was something more, but at that point, I just sort of faded out. I wasn't sure if you were evading the truth or just didn't realise it yourself ( ... )

geek3o1415 May 4 2005, 17:06:13 UTC

Oh. It's funny, I don't think I said anything about that here, but I feel the same way about categories. All of that is almost exactly something I would have said myself. I agree categories are inadequate, and rest assured that when I categorise I'm fully aware of their limits. I'm always skeptical, no worries there. :)

geek3o1415 May 4 2005, 18:20:14 UTC

If you have a problem, I'm here, no matter what. I'll go out of my way to be here for you however I can. I don't expect you to be here for me in the same way or at all. But me, although I may disappear physically, I feel virtually incapable of disappearing as a friend. I can't even fathom that. It's just not what friendship is to me.

I love you.

mica_mirrors May 4 2005, 20:03:59 UTC

I don't think I made myself clear enough. Wanting different things is not a big hindrance to a friendship, unless the things we want conflict. That's what I feel was happening, and probably still is, though not to the same extent. I appreciate your understanding how your behavior looked to me and why I was so concerned about you. But that wasn't the only problem. You kept talking about fairies and shambala, expecting that my experience with healing would lead us to good conversations about those subjects. But I hated talking about them. It seemed to be all that really interested you, but talking about it was bad for me. We needed opposite things, so of course it couldn't work. I'm sorry I didn't communicate well; you seemed hurt by everything I said, so before long I just shut up. I still don't feel like we're at a place where we can be close friends, but maybe again sometime in the future. We'll see. It's still good to know what you're up to and that you're happy.

geek3o1415 May 4 2005, 21:50:11 UTC

I still don't really see how our needs conflict. Talking about things outside solid reality really is not something I *need* (or even necessarily desire right now -- my interest in those things comes and goes in waves). Something I'd really like, but don't need, is to feel I'm not being judged. Feeling judged sort of makes me feel invalidated and silences me. I know you don't *ever*, but it's probably your J function that sometimes makes me feel you do. I'd appreciate your being sensitive to that.

Another thing I'd really like is to be in beautiful surroundings with beautiful people. (What I love about Asheville!) Other than that, and my most basic physical needs, I'm alright.

Maybe I will write a journal entry, 'What I Need,' when I find time to write it. :)

What is it you feel you need right now?

I'm not longwinded. ;)

geek3o1415 May 4 2005, 21:51:54 UTC

This one was meant to be posted after the next one, so I'm sorry if it seems abrupt! I didn't mean it to come out that way.

Thread 7

frog_autumn May 4 2005, 20:19:01 UTC

That has been one of the most beautiful memories anyone has shared in such a long time. It almost brings a tear to ones eyes. It helps to keep the faith that there is someone out there for everyone and with patience anyone is capable of finding their true mate. This union is enough reason for a celebration.

geek3o1415 May 4 2005, 22:07:53 UTC

Thank you so much. :)

consider this... frog_autumn April 23 2009, 20:05:51 UTC

you are a total nutjob