Lj Idol Open Topic / Home Game
A few days before 2019 closed its doors, I sat in the basement bathroom with tears streaming down my face .
My eyes were blurry from the tears and the lens from my glasses were foggy.
I was trying to see the text I was composing to my friend who lives hours away from me.
Through the tears, I could see it said what I wanted:
Please tell me life is worth living. Please tell me that life is more then being in a job that it’s for me anymore ( never really was.. it was suppose to only a job till I was done with school which was 9 years ago), constant red tape with social services for my kids, medical appointments, etc
Did I really fight cancer to be more miserable then I was before?
That was it..
I still wonder it but not with so much pain and anger..
My friend talked me down and helped me see the light. I’m grateful she kept talking to me, gave me reasons my brain wouldn’t let me see.
2020 has started me with finding myself again and ways to “live” rather then “exist”