01 - [Supernatural] across solemn distances.
Rating: Gen
Characters: Castiel, Dean, with a random appearance by Lucifer
Fandom: Supernatural
Summary: Encounters of the first kind.
Notes: AU; TWT. For Shace. This is my first time writing for this fandom, and I apologize in advance if it comes out horrible. I SWEAR TO GOD I TRIED AUGH;;
He remembers meeting Lucifer, once, and it was in a sweltering day back in Spain, where Lucifer was disguised as a beautiful little blond girl named Lucy. He (she?) said that he-the-girl was a walking vintage song. "It's the title," she explained to him, laughing, and Castiel looked at her blankly. What is a song? What is so different between the you that stands before me and the you that stands before me? Lucy the little girl shakes her head at him and her wonderful little golden curls shake as she moves her head, left and right, back and forth, laughing. Castiel notes this as a gesture in the human world which means "no". "No" is a sign of rejection. "No" is the sign of a barrier. Castiel never understood what does it mean to put a barrier between you and your brothers and sisters, and he felt indescribably stupid and a little bit sad when Lucy the little girl said "no". Was it the human in him that said "no", did the little girl say "no" to him, and if she did, will he be able to ever make her say "yes"?
Lucy looks at him with something like sadness in her eyes. She has a red balloon that she is holding in her other hand and she twines it on her wrist as she smiles at Castiel, feeling his thoughts, his fears. "It's alright, and you have not been rejected. I meant that you read me wrong. My name comes from a song. They say I sparkle in the sky with diamonds."
Castiel frowns. "It was my understanding that when humans shake their heads, they mean no."
Lucy laughs, and she slips her cold hand into Castiel's hand with gentleness, with endless gentleness. "But humans mean so many things, Castiel, that most of the time they say what they meant with what they don't mean, and they say what they don't mean instead of what they actually want to say, and so on. I can shake my head and it can mean that 'no, you are wrong' and 'no, I don't want you here', among others."
Castiel looks at her hand in his hand with trepidation. (Castiel names this feeling as 'trepidation' and drudges it from his index of feelings so he'll know how to explain things better when he is around humans.) What was the Morning Star doing, holding his hand? "That is such an inefficient way of communicating. Perhaps had they been more honest, common misunderstandings from one vague gesture may be avoided."
Lucy looks at him. Lucy smiles at him and it is endearing. She says, "this world is filled with misunderstandings, Castiel. Sometimes honesty makes it even worse."
Castiel is left with a feeling of emptiness gnawing at his soul. Lucy-the-girl and Lucifer-who-is-not-himself-but-is-still-him takes her (their) hand away from him and she skips happily with the red balloon tied around her left wrist, bobbing in the breeze. Castiel watches him (her) leave, watches the blue sky and feels an awe for all things great, and small. He names this feeling 'love', because there can be nothing else.
An hour later, Castiel is watching Dornier Do 17s drop 50-kg bombs in the town. Castiel covers his eyes and watches in disbelief as everything was dismantled and rearranged in the sweltering town. It is April 26, 1937. Amidst the screaming and crying and the roar of the bombs there was Lucy walking in the streets daintily, smiling, singing a song. Before she disappears she calls out to him: "In Spain, there is Guernica!" Castiel didn't understand, there was too much shouting and confusion. And because he was confused, he shook his head at her (him) and Lucy smiles. "Thank goodness, you're quite the fast learner."
Lucy spreads her wings. Castiel is momentarily blinded by the flash of light. When he regains his sight again he sees the streets are filled with the dead and the dying and those who are about to die, and this is how Castiel remembers him (her) for the rest of his life.
+
Castiel is sitting at a park bench and feeding the birds. The day is overcast and the winds are cold. He is wearing that white weather-beaten coat around his figure like a mantle. Gabriel gave it to him, one winter when he visited him somewhere in Alaska. The locals were staring at him oddly because he was only wearing a shirt. To make things slightly better, Gabriel gave him his spare coat. Perhaps in some gesture of a joke, he can never tell with him.
The birds are quiet, but they are also hesitant and nervous, skirting around the cobblestones near him, not too near, then hopping closer to him, staring expectantly at his hands. He tears off a piece of bread and gives it to them. They move. The eyes blink, five or ten hearts drum angrily against frail birdcages and reach for the food. Two or three more arrive from the air, and soon enough Castiel has a family of pigeons fighting for a piece of bread. He wonders if he should give more, and decides to tear off another piece and throw it to them as well. The birds stop; move, and eat again. And all was peaceful in the world.
A ball goes bouncing on his way and it knocks off the bread from his hands. He stares at it, momentarily transfixed, and just as he was going to lean down and pick the bread up, a bird snaps it in its beak and moves it to another family that waits in the bushes. The ball rolls towards his bench, and he picks it up.
The boy comes over and the boy who comes is blond. Castiel has bad memories with blond kids, but at least he is sure that this kid's name is not Lucy and that his name won't come from a song about girls being compared to stars in the sky.
"Hey mister," the boy says, frowning at him and gesturing for the ball. "I was playing with that. Wanna hand it over?"
Castiel looks at him. "Why are you frowning?"
"You have my ball."
"But you have other facial expressions than just frowning at things. Perhaps using them would be so kind."
The boy looks at him. "Yeah, okay. Whatever. Can I have my ball now? It's my brother's."
Castiel gives it to him, momentarily confused, then decides not to think on it too hard (something he learned while being dragged in many different countries around the world by Zachariah). "I hope you be more careful with it."
"Whatever. You sound weird. And if I lose it again, it won't be the first time."
"You lose your toys all the time?"
".... not all the time, okay, it's just that sometimes Sam annoys me and when we fight we hide each other's things and sometimes I lose them. For real," and the boy says this with a dramatic flourish of his hands. "But hey, we get to play with other things Dad buys us, so it's all good."
Castiel frowns. "I doubt that it will benefit your father economically if you keep losing your things and asking for others, only to lose it again."
"Uh. Okay. I guess you mean Dad isn't happy when that happens? Well, it's cool. He just laughs it off, most of the time." The boy sits beside him, playing with the ball. "My name's Dean, by the way."
"I am glad to hear that," Castiel sighs, relieved.
"What?"
"I thought you would've been named Lucy."
"..... what? My name's Dean, Dean Winchester, and I'm a boy, and Lucy is for girls, and if a boy goes around and calls themselves Lucy then that's just wrong."
Castiel thinks back to Guernica and decides to say nothing about it. Dean looks at him.
"-- do you actually know someone named Lucy who is a boy."
"Don't think on it too hard."
"That's just not right!"
"That is why I said, don't think on it too hard." Castiel said hastily. "You should go. Didn't you say your brother is waiting for you?"
"Well, okay! And yeah, Sam would bitch at me for taking too long, so I'm gonna go, and you should tell your friend Lucy to change their name." Dean makes a face at that and Castiel's mouth quirks up and he realizes that the gesture he just made is called a smile, and he is glad for meeting this boy. Dean reaches his hand out. "Nice meeting you, mister, even if you were kinda weird."
"Thank you, I guess." Castiel shakes his hand. What does that mean, he wonders. Did the boy like meeting him but was put off by his manners, so that this whole encounter is rendered a negative experience in his mind? Was it good because it was weird, and the boy thought that he was amusing? He grips his hand firmly, as he was taught, and then
he lets go. "'Bye," Dean says, running off, and Castiel stammers, "I will see you soon," because he knows who he is, and now that he knows, he can't shake the feeling anymore away from his self, as it gnaws helplessly around his soul.
It feels like Guernica all over again, he thought, and mourned in silence.
Characters: Castiel, Dean, with a random appearance by Lucifer
Fandom: Supernatural
Summary: Encounters of the first kind.
Notes: AU; TWT. For Shace. This is my first time writing for this fandom, and I apologize in advance if it comes out horrible. I SWEAR TO GOD I TRIED AUGH;;
He remembers meeting Lucifer, once, and it was in a sweltering day back in Spain, where Lucifer was disguised as a beautiful little blond girl named Lucy. He (she?) said that he-the-girl was a walking vintage song. "It's the title," she explained to him, laughing, and Castiel looked at her blankly. What is a song? What is so different between the you that stands before me and the you that stands before me? Lucy the little girl shakes her head at him and her wonderful little golden curls shake as she moves her head, left and right, back and forth, laughing. Castiel notes this as a gesture in the human world which means "no". "No" is a sign of rejection. "No" is the sign of a barrier. Castiel never understood what does it mean to put a barrier between you and your brothers and sisters, and he felt indescribably stupid and a little bit sad when Lucy the little girl said "no". Was it the human in him that said "no", did the little girl say "no" to him, and if she did, will he be able to ever make her say "yes"?
Lucy looks at him with something like sadness in her eyes. She has a red balloon that she is holding in her other hand and she twines it on her wrist as she smiles at Castiel, feeling his thoughts, his fears. "It's alright, and you have not been rejected. I meant that you read me wrong. My name comes from a song. They say I sparkle in the sky with diamonds."
Castiel frowns. "It was my understanding that when humans shake their heads, they mean no."
Lucy laughs, and she slips her cold hand into Castiel's hand with gentleness, with endless gentleness. "But humans mean so many things, Castiel, that most of the time they say what they meant with what they don't mean, and they say what they don't mean instead of what they actually want to say, and so on. I can shake my head and it can mean that 'no, you are wrong' and 'no, I don't want you here', among others."
Castiel looks at her hand in his hand with trepidation. (Castiel names this feeling as 'trepidation' and drudges it from his index of feelings so he'll know how to explain things better when he is around humans.) What was the Morning Star doing, holding his hand? "That is such an inefficient way of communicating. Perhaps had they been more honest, common misunderstandings from one vague gesture may be avoided."
Lucy looks at him. Lucy smiles at him and it is endearing. She says, "this world is filled with misunderstandings, Castiel. Sometimes honesty makes it even worse."
Castiel is left with a feeling of emptiness gnawing at his soul. Lucy-the-girl and Lucifer-who-is-not-himself-but-is-still-him takes her (their) hand away from him and she skips happily with the red balloon tied around her left wrist, bobbing in the breeze. Castiel watches him (her) leave, watches the blue sky and feels an awe for all things great, and small. He names this feeling 'love', because there can be nothing else.
An hour later, Castiel is watching Dornier Do 17s drop 50-kg bombs in the town. Castiel covers his eyes and watches in disbelief as everything was dismantled and rearranged in the sweltering town. It is April 26, 1937. Amidst the screaming and crying and the roar of the bombs there was Lucy walking in the streets daintily, smiling, singing a song. Before she disappears she calls out to him: "In Spain, there is Guernica!" Castiel didn't understand, there was too much shouting and confusion. And because he was confused, he shook his head at her (him) and Lucy smiles. "Thank goodness, you're quite the fast learner."
Lucy spreads her wings. Castiel is momentarily blinded by the flash of light. When he regains his sight again he sees the streets are filled with the dead and the dying and those who are about to die, and this is how Castiel remembers him (her) for the rest of his life.
+
Castiel is sitting at a park bench and feeding the birds. The day is overcast and the winds are cold. He is wearing that white weather-beaten coat around his figure like a mantle. Gabriel gave it to him, one winter when he visited him somewhere in Alaska. The locals were staring at him oddly because he was only wearing a shirt. To make things slightly better, Gabriel gave him his spare coat. Perhaps in some gesture of a joke, he can never tell with him.
The birds are quiet, but they are also hesitant and nervous, skirting around the cobblestones near him, not too near, then hopping closer to him, staring expectantly at his hands. He tears off a piece of bread and gives it to them. They move. The eyes blink, five or ten hearts drum angrily against frail birdcages and reach for the food. Two or three more arrive from the air, and soon enough Castiel has a family of pigeons fighting for a piece of bread. He wonders if he should give more, and decides to tear off another piece and throw it to them as well. The birds stop; move, and eat again. And all was peaceful in the world.
A ball goes bouncing on his way and it knocks off the bread from his hands. He stares at it, momentarily transfixed, and just as he was going to lean down and pick the bread up, a bird snaps it in its beak and moves it to another family that waits in the bushes. The ball rolls towards his bench, and he picks it up.
The boy comes over and the boy who comes is blond. Castiel has bad memories with blond kids, but at least he is sure that this kid's name is not Lucy and that his name won't come from a song about girls being compared to stars in the sky.
"Hey mister," the boy says, frowning at him and gesturing for the ball. "I was playing with that. Wanna hand it over?"
Castiel looks at him. "Why are you frowning?"
"You have my ball."
"But you have other facial expressions than just frowning at things. Perhaps using them would be so kind."
The boy looks at him. "Yeah, okay. Whatever. Can I have my ball now? It's my brother's."
Castiel gives it to him, momentarily confused, then decides not to think on it too hard (something he learned while being dragged in many different countries around the world by Zachariah). "I hope you be more careful with it."
"Whatever. You sound weird. And if I lose it again, it won't be the first time."
"You lose your toys all the time?"
".... not all the time, okay, it's just that sometimes Sam annoys me and when we fight we hide each other's things and sometimes I lose them. For real," and the boy says this with a dramatic flourish of his hands. "But hey, we get to play with other things Dad buys us, so it's all good."
Castiel frowns. "I doubt that it will benefit your father economically if you keep losing your things and asking for others, only to lose it again."
"Uh. Okay. I guess you mean Dad isn't happy when that happens? Well, it's cool. He just laughs it off, most of the time." The boy sits beside him, playing with the ball. "My name's Dean, by the way."
"I am glad to hear that," Castiel sighs, relieved.
"What?"
"I thought you would've been named Lucy."
"..... what? My name's Dean, Dean Winchester, and I'm a boy, and Lucy is for girls, and if a boy goes around and calls themselves Lucy then that's just wrong."
Castiel thinks back to Guernica and decides to say nothing about it. Dean looks at him.
"-- do you actually know someone named Lucy who is a boy."
"Don't think on it too hard."
"That's just not right!"
"That is why I said, don't think on it too hard." Castiel said hastily. "You should go. Didn't you say your brother is waiting for you?"
"Well, okay! And yeah, Sam would bitch at me for taking too long, so I'm gonna go, and you should tell your friend Lucy to change their name." Dean makes a face at that and Castiel's mouth quirks up and he realizes that the gesture he just made is called a smile, and he is glad for meeting this boy. Dean reaches his hand out. "Nice meeting you, mister, even if you were kinda weird."
"Thank you, I guess." Castiel shakes his hand. What does that mean, he wonders. Did the boy like meeting him but was put off by his manners, so that this whole encounter is rendered a negative experience in his mind? Was it good because it was weird, and the boy thought that he was amusing? He grips his hand firmly, as he was taught, and then
he lets go. "'Bye," Dean says, running off, and Castiel stammers, "I will see you soon," because he knows who he is, and now that he knows, he can't shake the feeling anymore away from his self, as it gnaws helplessly around his soul.
It feels like Guernica all over again, he thought, and mourned in silence.