Harbl.

[gelasia_kitty]

I know I'm not the most mature person. I know I have a hard time maintaining anything. Relationships. Jobs. Life. I freak out, start getting sick. I've never, EVER been able to maintain anything ever. Not even hobbies and things I like. Not in the 20 years I've been alive

Comments

[firinn]

I'm not entirely sure where to begin, but this begs of a response to it. Maybe not intentionally, but that doesn't change the fact of the matter with it. I will say ahead of time, however, that it likely won't be nice. I don't mean this in a point of being hateful, or spiteful, or anything like that, mind you. It simply is what is. I'm going to see if I can clarify things on my side, as well.

First and foremost, to hopefully set the matter closed once and for all, I don't hate you, Jess. For all the fuckerry I may have borne witness to, namely in point of weakness and the like (which I will extrapolate upon shortly), I don't hate you. You are, in all honesty, well beneath my emotional capacity to care at this point. That may sound harsh, and maybe it is, but that's the point that things have gone to, now, and I really doubt that'll change any time soon. I doubt any reason for it will occur to cause a change in that

[firinn]

You are not the only one who has dealt with pain, be it emotional, mental, or physical. There are people out there--Many people--who have dealt with far worse. Consider the following:

1) Jason has had his child die. Moreover, he was unable to attend the funeral for her. This is something that will live with him until the day he dies.
2) Ben was run over by a lawnmower, I think it was. His leg is fucked up for life.
3) Aleah has had far extreme cases of low self-esteem and emotional mood swings that would make the Richter scale tip at times. She's had to abort a child, and more emotional wrecks than the entire group combined, I think.

That's three examples. For my part, my father beat the everloving shit out of me when I was young. I was in a forcedly submissive state, disallowed from going out and doing anything with anyone for a good portion of the time. The first person I was ever really, truly in love with was raped--And I was unable to do a thing against the individual who had done it. I dealt with anger, real anger

[firinn]

An attack, in the negative sense that I believe you're implying I was using, inherently implies that an individual is working for a negative effect on the overall wellbeing of another. As odd as it may seem, such was not the case at all. In fact, I would hope just the opposite comes of it.

It's not a matter of superiority that I'm trying to express. In all blatant honesty, non-egotism, and simple objective view.. I am, in terms of having my shit together as it were, actually better than most people. If it comes off as prickish, then that's not necessarily my fault. I can't help the fact that I am better in place, mentally, emotionally, and the whatnot and have no shame in that fact. This is tempered by a humility when I am, indeed, in the wrong. I suppose I may come off as arrogant and like an asshole in the phrasing here, but I tend to attribute that more to a negative social stigma than an actual intention. Damn near anyone who knows me (if you were to ask, I mean) knows that as far as assholery goes.. I'm usually anything

[catnamedrabbit]

I dared to do what I gleaned in conclusion from what I observed. Do not tell me I do not understand. Do you not remember that talk we had walking back to spikes? Do you not remember me telling you I've been there before, being as weak and helpless like you feel? And do you not remember, advice dispensed in good will, that you alone can fight it off and that it gets easier once you -start- fighting

[jdllama]

Sye and Usagi put it better than I possibly could have, but there is sadly still more that needs to be discussed. Lord knows I stayed up late last night contemplating this.

A friend is someone that you support no matter what, but it doesn't mean you agree with what they do. If they screw up, you tell them, and they respect that. Sye's done that with me, Dennis did that with me in regards to Aleah, etc. Did I listen to them? Sometimes, yes, sometimes no. No matter what, I did take what they said into account, but I was able to come up to my own decisions, and that's why I'm their friend; that no matter what, I would at least listenA relationship is a friendship, just version 2.0 with new features and some new bugs. The expectations for a few things change, but most of them stay the same, including the description for above. If I screwed up, you would tell me, and I would listen to you. But when you screwed up, I always felt like I was talking to a wall

I am posting this for Allison, as her computer does not like LJ right now.

[jdllama]

NO ONE HEAR SHOULD OR CAN SPEAK OR ARGUE OVER THIER BREAK UP YOU ARE NOT THEM THIS IS THEIR BATTLE AND ALL OF YOU PUSHING IS GOING TO JUST MAKE IT WORSE ON THOSE HURTING OVER THIS BREAK UP OR RUIN CHANCES OF THEM AS ADULTS WORKING IT OUT. SYE I KNOW YOU CARE I KNOW YOU LIVED THERE I KNOW YOU SAW A LOT OF THE RELATIONSHIP BUT YOU ARE BETTER THAN GIVING HALF A MIND TO WHAT THIS PERSON HAS TO SAY WHOM WAS NOT THERE NOR LIVED IN THE HOUSE DAY BY DAY HOUR BY HOUR WITH JD AND JESS DURING THERE RELATIONSHIP JUST PLEASE EVERYONE THINK BEFORE YOU BICKER BETWEEN EACH OTHER ABOUT THEM ARE YOU HELPING THEM OR MAKING IT WORSE I TALKED FOR OVER AND HOUR TO THEM BOTH LAST NIGHT ON CHAT AND TRUST ME AS MUCH AS YOU ALL WANT TO HELP YOU ARE NOT I LIVE 250 MILES AWAY AND AS SAID BY JD HIMSELF

[anonymous]

Ok I have been quiet long enough and ya know Like Sye, I am not going to pull punches here, jess. Basically I am going to tell you up front that what I have said in the past about, if I like you or not may have been streaching the truth. I can't say that I "LIKE" you but I can say that I have done nothing more than Tolorate you. And why you may ask? well I will tell you

[rockstartobe1]

That was me! sorry!