(no subject)
I had a day of having a particularly painful throat flairing up at work. It was really stressful. And with everyone asking how my Christmas was it only reminded me how it didn't happen. As a "London orphan" it can be a lonely day what with everyone off with their families and with their boy/girlfriends, and we can sometimes be quite reluctant to invite ourselves to intrude on someone's celebration but at the same time enthusiastic to accept other people's kind hospitality when offered. Coming back to work it only reinforces how everyone expects and assumes you have people to spend that day with. I really enjoyed myself at the pub the night before Christmas with Emmie and co, and have that to be grateful for at least, I might have had even less Christmas cheer otherwise. But the next day I got a distinct feeling that the friend of hers who was so enthusiastic about inviting me over to have a Christmas meal with them must have little memory of saying it... He woke up, said hi, and then went to hide in his room for an hour before I just decided I felt stupid waiting around and started to feel like I shouldn't be there. I tried knocking on the bedroom door so I can say "thanks for the invite but I think I'm just gonna go", but since no one responded to my knock I just left without saying goodbye. I don't even know if I have a right to feel insulted, but I felt sad on Christmas.
I was feeling very sulky today indeed and missed Kiko a lot cos I haven't seen him since he came to my work. He's one of the few people that I'm really fond of who bothers to call me and who makes me feel like he wants to know me and wants me to know him. That means a lot to me. Thankfully he called me this evening and invited me to join him at The Old Blue Last on Friday to see his friend DJ, possibly spend Saturday helping him get a few things together for New Years, then definitely Club Motherfucker for New Years Eve then an after-party with the Brazilians. I'll feel better when I see him. For now I'm not going to pretend I'm cheerful.
I was feeling very sulky today indeed and missed Kiko a lot cos I haven't seen him since he came to my work. He's one of the few people that I'm really fond of who bothers to call me and who makes me feel like he wants to know me and wants me to know him. That means a lot to me. Thankfully he called me this evening and invited me to join him at The Old Blue Last on Friday to see his friend DJ, possibly spend Saturday helping him get a few things together for New Years, then definitely Club Motherfucker for New Years Eve then an after-party with the Brazilians. I'll feel better when I see him. For now I'm not going to pretend I'm cheerful.