"And in that moment, I swear my flatmate was a twat"
Based on a Restoration bros modern AU started by kiitos13
In which Charlie has an interesting suggestion for Johnny- or so he thinks.
“Johnny, we need to have sex.”
“Yes, Charlie,” said Johnny, not even bothering to look up from his book. “That’s generally how humans perpetuate the existence of their species- but I’ll let you off not knowing, since I’m not entirely sure you are human.”
“No, I mean us. Me and you.”
“...Charlie, you have a girlfriend.”
Charlie huffed and flung himself on the sofa next to his flatmate. “So? You know how that works. Cathy knows I-”
“No, I mean, you have a girlfriend. As opposed to a boyfriend. Which is why I am... a tiny bit surprised at your sudden proposition.”
“Oh.” There was a brief moment of silence, disturbed only by the quiet ticking of the clock- or the cogs in Charlie’s brain. Johnny wasn’t quite sure which of those was more likely.
“D’you know, Johnny, normally people just say yes.”
Johnny said nothing; he simply raised one very unimpressed eyebrow and waited for the inevitable backpedalling to start.
“Alright, sometimes they say yes. If they know I’ve asked Cathy first. And if-”
“-they’re both blind and stupid?” Johnny suggested, being very helpful indeed.
“Just shut up and kiss me, you bastard,” said Charlie, who attempted to launch himself in Johnny’s direction. Luckily for both of them, Johnny had quick enough reflexes to wallop his friend in the face with his book before any touching happened, and Charlie rolled right off the sofa onto the floor.
“There’s no need for that,” he grumbled, giving Johnny his very best puppy eyes.
“There bloody well is. What on earth was all that about?”
“I was just wondering what it was like. You know, with another bloke. I’m just... interested. In... things. Alright?”
Johnny snorted. “And you couldn’t just ask?”
For once in his life, Charlie had the decency to look embarrassed. “I thought it might sound a bit weird.”
“Right. And announcing your intention to shag me on the sofa as you casually strolled in from work was less weird?”
“...Yes?”
“Fucksake. Charlie, do you even fancy me?”
Charlie squinted up at him from the floor. “I don’t not fancy you.”
“Thank you,” said Johnny. “Thank you very much indeed for that poetic description of your romantic interest in me. ‘I don’t not fancy you’. Why, that is simply astounding- I don’t think I’ve heard anything so beautiful since that time you wrote that utterly shit song for what’s-her-face back in first year. Fran something.”
“Shut up.”
“Never.”
“Ugh.” Charlie rolled around on the floor, flailing his limbs wildly so that Johnny had to use a cushion as a shield. “Can’t we just-”
“No.”
“But I just want to-”
“No.”
...On the plus side, the cushion was a very successful addition to the number of household items Johnny could use as an offensive weapon.
In which Charlie has an interesting suggestion for Johnny- or so he thinks.
“Johnny, we need to have sex.”
“Yes, Charlie,” said Johnny, not even bothering to look up from his book. “That’s generally how humans perpetuate the existence of their species- but I’ll let you off not knowing, since I’m not entirely sure you are human.”
“No, I mean us. Me and you.”
“...Charlie, you have a girlfriend.”
Charlie huffed and flung himself on the sofa next to his flatmate. “So? You know how that works. Cathy knows I-”
“No, I mean, you have a girlfriend. As opposed to a boyfriend. Which is why I am... a tiny bit surprised at your sudden proposition.”
“Oh.” There was a brief moment of silence, disturbed only by the quiet ticking of the clock- or the cogs in Charlie’s brain. Johnny wasn’t quite sure which of those was more likely.
“D’you know, Johnny, normally people just say yes.”
Johnny said nothing; he simply raised one very unimpressed eyebrow and waited for the inevitable backpedalling to start.
“Alright, sometimes they say yes. If they know I’ve asked Cathy first. And if-”
“-they’re both blind and stupid?” Johnny suggested, being very helpful indeed.
“Just shut up and kiss me, you bastard,” said Charlie, who attempted to launch himself in Johnny’s direction. Luckily for both of them, Johnny had quick enough reflexes to wallop his friend in the face with his book before any touching happened, and Charlie rolled right off the sofa onto the floor.
“There’s no need for that,” he grumbled, giving Johnny his very best puppy eyes.
“There bloody well is. What on earth was all that about?”
“I was just wondering what it was like. You know, with another bloke. I’m just... interested. In... things. Alright?”
Johnny snorted. “And you couldn’t just ask?”
For once in his life, Charlie had the decency to look embarrassed. “I thought it might sound a bit weird.”
“Right. And announcing your intention to shag me on the sofa as you casually strolled in from work was less weird?”
“...Yes?”
“Fucksake. Charlie, do you even fancy me?”
Charlie squinted up at him from the floor. “I don’t not fancy you.”
“Thank you,” said Johnny. “Thank you very much indeed for that poetic description of your romantic interest in me. ‘I don’t not fancy you’. Why, that is simply astounding- I don’t think I’ve heard anything so beautiful since that time you wrote that utterly shit song for what’s-her-face back in first year. Fran something.”
“Shut up.”
“Never.”
“Ugh.” Charlie rolled around on the floor, flailing his limbs wildly so that Johnny had to use a cushion as a shield. “Can’t we just-”
“No.”
“But I just want to-”
“No.”
...On the plus side, the cushion was a very successful addition to the number of household items Johnny could use as an offensive weapon.