Pros and Cons

[geminiwench]

Written on Friday:

Today I was a ballet dancer
and a shaman
and a conductor
and a unremarkable wind
and a shout
and a handshake
and a convenient pen
who could walk
and talk
and dance to the beat of today's rhythm
as if it were the most natural thing in the world
AND it was even beautiful.

[Friday?]In real life terms

Comments

[wantedonvoyage]

Have definitely felt the middle one.

[geminiwench]

I don't know what to do about it.

Do you?

[wantedonvoyage]

I guess it depends on your relationship to them. My instinct is always to put space between us, for right or wrong. If you have no choice but to interact with the person, I guess the best thing is to concentrate on the idea that their unhappiness is driving their words/actions and probably has little to do with you other than proximity. Because I tend to script stuff out in my own head, I find it helpful to ask someone else whom I trust who also knows the other party if their interpretation of the encounter matches mine. A lot of times I assume I have a larger role than I do.

[geminiwench]

It's a person I love and trust, so the disconnect between us has been incredibly painful for me, at least

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[deloric]

lovely poetry, really. thank you for your art

[geminiwench]

I write out what my heart is trying to say, I'm glad it is accepted in this way.

I don't think I'm writing poetry when I'm expressing, but it feels like a mighty acknowledgment that people sometimes read it that way,
with that kind of intention.

[wantedonvoyage]

It's getting harder and harder not to see how one-sided this style of relating to them is... and that I can't expect the old times, the old trust, the old rapport, the old openness... to come back. I've begun to question whether the 20 years being close, was even real.

Definitely relatable. When someone moves away from their established way of interacting with us; over time you start to wonder if things happened the way we remember them or if it was all in our own heads. I actually told BGR this at one point and he was upset by it, but when I reminded him of that later he acted like it never happened. Distance has been the best answer I could come up with there but just when I’ve gotten past the point of ruminating about it, he comes looking for me.

*hugs* definitely have my empathy here.

[geminiwench]

I have my own problematic established patterns as well as exciting new discoveries about myself... we're all complicated and life is hard so, I try not to jump to hurtful conclusions