the general topic of "how things seem" is often only a tertiary concern to me when I generally prefer to focus on "how things are"
Me, too.
A man who both enthralled and vexed me in undergrad told me,
"perception is reality"
As vivid as things seem to me, so they seem to others, even those whose view is clearly oppositional to mine. In cases where only one can be true, the only way to find out is to talk about it, but that's clearly scary.
I guess I'm lucky to live where I do because people here are pretty in-your-face with their views; sugar coating is not really the norm. The church can be an exception, but we do have our truth-tellers also, and they are appreciated because when the noise dies down, we can't un-know what we've learned.
I have to ask, does Main Character Ex know, and do you know what the reaction was?
As vivid as things seem to me, so they seem to others, even those whose view is clearly oppositional to mine. In cases where only one can be true, the only way to find out is to talk about it, but that's clearly scary.
It's also tiring... and so I think a lot of people are scared, but lay back on the fact that it's tiring to avoid even thinking about how scary it is to confront their worldview.
Luckily "Ex" isn't a main character here (phew!!) and I can only hope they figure out that the world doesn't (and isn't supposed to) revolve around them. However, if they feel attacked by the fact tons of people (including me) loves their Father in Law,... so be it... I can live with that.
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Wow. It's SO COOL that the fundraiser went well. You really changed this guy's life. In several amazing ways! It's beautiful to hear about this, and have a little faith in humanity restored
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I see I think of "saving face" differently than you do, but I also think I see what you are talking about. The masking and the play-acting that everything is fine... when everything is **not** fine
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What I would like to say is that I love love love having conversations like this, and not everyone does... so, thankyou for engaging with me on this
( ... )
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They feel guilty... they have all sorts of complicated feelings!
( ... )
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is often only a tertiary concern to me
when I generally prefer to focus on "how things are"
Me, too.
A man who both enthralled and vexed me in undergrad told me,
"perception is reality"
As vivid as things seem to me, so they seem to others, even those whose view is clearly oppositional to mine. In cases where only one can be true, the only way to find out is to talk about it, but that's clearly scary.
I guess I'm lucky to live where I do because people here are pretty in-your-face with their views; sugar coating is not really the norm. The church can be an exception, but we do have our truth-tellers also, and they are appreciated because when the noise dies down, we can't un-know what we've learned.
I have to ask, does Main Character Ex know, and do you know what the reaction was?
Reply
It's also tiring... and so I think a lot of people are scared, but lay back on the fact that it's tiring to avoid even thinking about how scary it is to confront their worldview.
Luckily "Ex" isn't a main character here (phew!!) and I can only hope they figure out that the world doesn't (and isn't supposed to) revolve around them.
However, if they feel attacked by the fact tons of people (including me) loves their Father in Law,... so be it... I can live with that.
( ... )
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