I grew up in a family where my middle brother was a hemophiliac. And although it isn't the same, I can tell you that very much along this line...we (my parents, obviously) would plan a vacation trip - a day trip - and the day before or two days before, the brother would get hurt. Seriously. Requiring a hospital trip hurt. Or weeks in bed. One time the 'hurt' was from dancing around the room because Mom had said we were going to Cooperstown.
I am very glad you are getting your mouth taken care of. But I do sympathize with you here- that your life feels like this.
I feel like the hemophiliac brother, where I am dancing and enjoying the moment only to be felled and have all celebrations called off because I need to go to the hospital.
I was the baby of the family and very sick and... yeah,... that was not unusual when I was growing up that much of what we did as a family was dictated by my needs/allergies/problems/illness... and it wasn't at all fun because I was acutely aware my family's happiness and opportunities and ease was curbed by my health problems that I had very little control over. The cost, the time, the limitations my health put on the whole family was obvious and made me feel guilty for being alive.... guilty for WANTING to be alive, even.
If it means anything, I wouldn't have traded my brother for anything. Yeah, I got angry because we 'couldn't go' to some places, but because of his illness and limitations my brother was a very unique person. (well, all people are unique). He was very caring and gentle. I believe you are the person you are...someone I wish was a lot closer geographically - because of that early part of your life.
Our different experiences give us the opportunity to learn and be compassionate and understanding of others. I resented my siblings their health and freedoms, and they resented my illness and limitations. It's just how people are, I think. Especially as a kid, where everything painful feels like a personal attack.. and your siblings are loved and hated in the same breath all the time when you are growing up. Ha!!
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I grew up in a family where my middle brother was a hemophiliac. And although it isn't the same, I can tell you that very much along this line...we (my parents, obviously) would plan a vacation trip - a day trip - and the day before or two days before, the brother would get hurt. Seriously. Requiring a hospital trip hurt. Or weeks in bed. One time the 'hurt' was from dancing around the room because Mom had said we were going to Cooperstown.
I am very glad you are getting your mouth taken care of. But I do sympathize with you here- that your life feels like this.
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I was the baby of the family and very sick and... yeah,... that was not unusual when I was growing up that much of what we did as a family was dictated by my needs/allergies/problems/illness... and it wasn't at all fun because I was acutely aware my family's happiness and opportunities and ease was curbed by my health problems that I had very little control over. The cost, the time, the limitations my health put on the whole family was obvious and made me feel guilty for being alive.... guilty for WANTING to be alive, even.
Reply
If it means anything, I wouldn't have traded my brother for anything. Yeah, I got angry because we 'couldn't go' to some places, but because of his illness and limitations my brother was a very unique person. (well, all people are unique). He was very caring and gentle. I believe you are the person you are...someone I wish was a lot closer geographically - because of that early part of your life.
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*hug*
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