Checkered Past/Present/Future

[geminiwench]

It was yet another one of those moments where some rando guy
gets angry
[at me/the world]
and storms off
because
he thinks I owe him something
because
simply put -
[Choose Your Own Adventure]
he WANTS me
to owe him something.

I'd be lying if I didn't explicitly divulge
this sort of thing comes with a peculiar sense of
satisfaction

Comments

[taz_39]

I was reading this and thinking, "Oh, how apt! Are we ladies having similar thoughts this lunar cycle/election week?"

And then saw that you must have read my post as well haha

"when someone pulls that old chestnut
straight outta their nutsack"....heheheheheheheheheheh

[geminiwench]

I regularly/often go to bars alone and all-male hangs but there is definitely a... balance that needs maintained and they have to be trusted because it can get dicey with some alcohol or in a private home

[taz_39]

Exactly, exactly, exactly. All you've said here and more

[geminiwench]

This comedy bit is everything I feel about listening to my straight guy friends tell stories about crazy ex's and listening to my straight gal friends tell theirs

[glove_to_face]

So when [guys] go out of their way to treat me like a prize
in some secret competition -
and advised by others that I should be flattered
they've deigned to socialize with a mere object -
who don't seem to realize
they're insulting the judges
before their delusional contest has even begun;
the poor fools.

hahaha, they're insulting the judges. I love that ACCURATE perspective. I've been told by male friends (regarding their male friends who were trying to court me) that I'm "too picky" and "girls like you will just end up alone like you are now." Well, this little girl isn't friends with them anymore. :))))

[geminiwench]

I am so glad you're not friends with those guys! I don't know them, but I know they suck.... just like my old dude friends. Scene set: Two of my friends (a lesbian couple) let me invite some of my friends over to camp in their backyard and go to a concert in their city... these two women were an ENVIRONMENTAL LAWYER and a HIGHWAY PATROL OFFICER, and I walked in on these asshole dudes (my friends! my shame!) rating these two women IN THEIR OWN HOUSE who just did a FAVOR for them... as strangers but friends mine.... about which one was pretty/more fuckable. I coulda KILLED the lot of 'em and told them to shut up and mind their own business... they "patiently" explained "it's just what guys do" when I told them to get in the backyard with the dogs where they belong

[glove_to_face]

It's actually kinda shocking how many men fall under the scenario you just described! Men who may seemingly have an elevated character, yet here they are objectify another human being like it's a damn game (which...it is to them). I hate the "it's not a big deal" and "I'm not harming anyone, geez".

Yeah, even if the target of your words doesn't overhear that shit, it's perpetuating the idea that it's ok to minimize another human to a list of derogatory adjectives. I think what a lot of these guys don't necessarily realize (or even think about) is that it happens so often to women that it deeply and forever changes the way our brains process situations that involve men. Even walking into a meeting room, in a professional environment, I feel uneasy at times. No exaggeration, I stopped grabbing coffee at my local convenience store chain many years ago specifically to avoid the morning rush of construction/union workers.

Anyway, you get it!

[geminiwench]

Oh, my ex didn't have an elevated character, just a coldly logical mind who saw ALL humans as *things*, just in general... and it just took me a long time to fully digest that fact. But yeah, it was definitely like, "It's just talk, what's the problem?" but of course cried like a baby talking about how he was bullied (with harmless words!) as a kid and how it formed his cold exterior.

As a female who was never generally considered wildly attractive,... I always felt bad for The Pretty Girls, because the kind of attention *I* got just for being female/having boobs/being young was OVERWHELMING and so negative and disgusting, I don't know how the conventionally attractive girls, young women, and women deal with THEIR share of it!

By definition the patriarchy is not welcoming of women, UNLESS she's an object.

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[wantedonvoyage]

checkerboard style like its a line of urinals

Heh I didn't know women knew about this.

My general response is, I'm sorry that happened, but yesh, there are so many people (mostly but not entirely guys) who think the planet is a game in which they are the only one that matters... everybody else is a prop or a foil, to be used and discarded, or passed by. It's even less fun when you are dismissed as not even having intrinsic value as a momentarily distraction... or so I've heard.

[geminiwench]

I'm an advanced female, who knows about urinal etiquette

[wantedonvoyage]

Yeah that makes total sense. Long around 1992 Madison Avenue figured this out.

And yet there's a widespread phenomenon where gay men are fascinated with the idea of landing a "straight" guy or passing as "straight-acting". Related?

[geminiwench]

If I were to think aloud, my guess is a guy who has "converted" someone to penis is... a big thing, whether its a gay guy trying to hook a straight guy (that he finds attractive) or a straight guy trying to hook a lesbian woman (that he finds attractive) is just an additional thrill on the competitive stage of humanity.... I know immature women who think they can wheedle/seduce men away from homosexuality (women usually get over this by their 20s though)... but I've never met a lesbian aiming for straight women to "turn", but who knows... I bet if they did, it would be a similar feather in their cap, too