oneshot : those three words
Title: Those Three Words
Rating: R / FRM
Pairing: Hotch/Reid ; established relationship
Word Count: 1,756
Summary: Maybe Spencer was just too insecure.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters used in my story. They belong to CBS. I just happened to borrow them for a little fun in the sun.
A/N:
First of all, thanks to freddlerabbit for betaing. Secondly, this is another part for my Domestic Moments Universe. However, like any other part, this can be read as a standalone. Also, I apologize for the lack of updates. Finals was a bitch.
----------------------
One year, four months, eight days, and sixteen hours. That was how long Aaron and Spencer have been involved in an intimate relationship. However, in that one year, four months, eight days, and sixteen hours, neither of them had said the three words that couples normally murmured to each other on daily basis. Then again, they weren’t exactly a normal couple either. Because first and foremost, their relationship was not permitted at their work, due to fraternization rules, which meant that they hardly ever showed any public affection with to one another. Then, on top of that, it was also awkward to show affection at home as well because of Aaron’s son - Jack. Not that the couple hid their relationship from Jack, it was more on principles. It was a fact that no child wanted to witness parents shoving their tongues down each other’s throats.
However, it wasn’t that they needed to say I love you to each other. It wasn’t needed. They didn’t need to say it to confirm affection and caring for each other. Because they knew they did with their actions and glances and their passionate love-making.
Oh yes. The sex was fantastic.
Actually, the first few times Spencer and Aaron had sex, it was very…awkward and wasn’t really what either really expected. Both of them were fumbling around, shifting uncomfortably, nervously, sloppily. In other words, the first few times weren’t memorable. And not to mention that it took them six months before graduating from just kissing. But once they’ve gotten accustomed to one another, once they’ve figured out each other’s sweet, delicate, sensitive spots that drove one another to absolute bliss, the sex became downright amazing. Which was totally expected on Aaron’s part - at least, in Spencer’s opinion because if one were to really think about it: the way Aaron was always stoic and in control, his muscular, well-toned built body, in terrific shape, of course he would be amazing in bed. Because he was always driven.
But then there was Spencer. Lanky, awkward, almost downright fragile, one would immediately think he had no particular experience in bed. And he didn’t, hardly. Maybe the odd kiss and touch here and there in college when his roommate at college threw a party and a drunk girl would come and mistake Spencer as her boyfriend, but otherwise, nothing real, nothing intimate. So, after getting past the awkward phase of their sex life, Aaron - and even Spencer himself - was surprised just how…intense he got during sex. And how skilled his fingers and tongue and lips were.
Definitely not expected.
No one was complaining.
However, no matter how close they were to coming, or how they would cuddle up after mind-blowing sex, neither of the two murmured the three words: I love you. Aaron almost did one time or another, but he fell asleep before his mouth could utter a single syllable. He also held back because Spencer was different. It was Spencer’s first time being in a relationship with a man, and perhaps with anyone really. So, Aaron kept his mouth shut. He just proved his love through gestures. And then there was Spencer again. Spencer always thought about it, saying those words. He always came up with elaborate scenarios on how to say those words. But when it came down to actually saying it, he lost all confidence and chickened out the last second. He’d just end up just kissing Aaron, or lacing their fingers together. But no matter what he did, he just couldn’t say it. He wasn’t ready. Maybe he wasn’t ready to face the insecurities of Aaron possibly rejecting him. All these what-if’s popped into his mind. What if he did say it, and Aaron didn’t return it. What if Aaron decided to break it off because he didn’t want to be committed to someone 15 years younger - to someone who was only his subordinate.
Maybe it was better off they didn’t say it.
But Spencer couldn’t stop thinking about it. He wondered if Aaron did, too. Maybe he was making too much of a big deal out of it.
Maybe Spencer was just too insecure.
Aaron was on top of Spencer. Both of them were sweaty and naked and nearing absolute bliss. Thick droplets of sweat trickled down Aaron’s forehead as he thrust his throbbing cock in and out of his lover. Each time his cock brushed against Spencer’s prostate, Spencer would squirm and let out a loud moan that anyone in a 100 meter radius could hear - thank god Jack wasn’t home, Aaron thought.
The older man kissed his lover’s neck, his hand reaching down to wrap his massive hand around Spencer’s heavy and weeping erection. Spencer moaned again, uncontrollably. Aaron’s mouth found the younger man’s neck, sucked on it, and bit it, not caring that it would leave a mark. Because seeing his lover so wanton and so very “un-Spencer” like, it made him want to mark Spencer to make sure people knew he was his and his only. Because he liked to reassure himself that Spencer was really his. That this wasn’t all just some dream. Because Spencer was 15 years younger than he was. And that age gap always worried him even after his lover constantly reminded him that age didn’t matter.
Spencer’s fingers scraped his chest, desperately.
No, age definitely didn’t matter. Not now, not ever. Because what they were sharing was something beautiful and ever so wonderful.
Aaron quickened his pace.
“Aaron, please - I -” Spencer cried out as Aaron pumped his cock fast and hard.
Not slowing down, Aaron pressed his lips on Spencer’s ear and murmured, “What do you want, Spence?”
“I - Just -” Spencer breathed out, stuttering out incoherent words. And all the while, Aaron just smirked as he worked his magic.
Aaron continued so place swift kisses all over Spencer’s neck as his hips slammed harder into his slender lover.
This was the only time Spencer let go, so vulnerable and needy and it turned Aaron on so much.
And Aaron knew every little touch that drove Spencer over the edge. Just a tiny caress on this pulsing vein on his rock-hard cock, a little nip or lick behind his ear, and sucking on his collarbone, after doing that, Spencer was gone.
“Oh god, Aaron!”
Spencer’s body arched, his head thrown back against the pillow, and came into Aaron’s hand, hard - so hard that Aaron nearly came right then and there especially when Spencer’s ass hole clenched tighter around his throbbing cock. It felt so good, so damn good. Aaron’s hips jerks forward as he shoved harder into his lover. Just a few more thrusts and -
“Spence, I’m going - I -” And Aaron reached his own limit, the peak of his and Spencer’s ecstasy.
Aaron moaned out, his body convulsing and his thick white spurts exploded between them. Then, he exhaustedly collapsed beside Spencer on their bed. Both of them were breathing frantically, their hearts beating erratically, and happily sated. Neither of them said anything, mainly because they didn’t have the energy to speak. Somehow, Aaron found the strength to reach over the bedside table to retrieve the towel. Carefully, he wiped himself and his lover off. Then, he tossed the towel down to the ground and wrapped his arm around Spencer’s lean body.
Their eyes met. They both smiled.
The younger man was the first one to speak. He murmured, “God, that was amazing, Aaron.”
Wordlessly, Aaron laced their fingers together. He brought Spencer’s hand up to his lips and kissed it gently, never breaking their eye contact, the smile never leaving his lips. Slowly, Aaron inched his face closer to Spencer’s, lips mere centimetres away from one another. Spencer could feel his lover’s breath tickling his tender lips.
And it was then and there that he felt it: the sudden urge to say those three words and actually have meaning to it. Because this moment that they had shared was damn near close to perfection. Not just the love-making, but this - the aftermath. The smiles, cuddling, kissing, it was just perfect, and he felt compelled to say it. And Spencer knew that Aaron wouldn’t be the first to say it, to initiate it, and not until he knew he was ready. He knew Aaron wanted to, for the longest time, say those words. He was, after all, married before. So, it probably came naturally to him, after all, considering he had been in a heterosexual relationship for over half his life. But it was Spencer’s first time in a steady, intimate relationship. And he knew that Aaron acknowledged the fact that he needed time and space to adapt to this relationship they shared. He knew Aaron wanted to give him all the time he needed.
That was why he loved Aaron. Because he understood so well.
Before there lips met, Spencer pressed their foreheads together, their noses brushing against one another. He closed his eyes. His body was still and quiet, but the frantic beating of his heart vibrated through his bony chest.
“Aaron.”
“Yeah?” The older man breathed out in anticipation.
Spencer swallowed the lump in his throat, his eyes remaining closed. And finally, he said it. He finally said it. And it felt surprisingly…good.
“I - Iloveyou.”
It was muffled and fast and if it were directed to someone else, that person may have no understood. But Aaron did. And the smile on his face widened. Spencer opened his eyes and witnessed the huge smile plastered on Aaron’s face. Seeing that smile made all tiredness seep away from his bones. It was probably the biggest and happiest smile he’d ever seen on Aaron’s face.
“God, Spence. I love you, too.”
They kissed softly yet with just the right degree of tenderness. It was different from all the other kisses they had shared, Spencer decided. Because all that weight that was burden inside of him had been lifted. He could finally admit out loud that he loved Aaron Hotchner. By saying those three words, he allowed himself to be…loved. It was like acceptance. He finally pushed his insecurities away that maybe, just maybe, Aaron wasn’t about to leave him. That he deserved happiness, too - hell, after what they’d both been through, they did deserve every once of happiness life had to offer.
Spencer shifted closer to Aaron. Their limbs became intertwined and tangled together. With more emphasis and enunciation, quietly, he slowly repeated, “I love you, Aaron Hotchner.”
The invisible barrier of doubt between them was gone.
-------------------
Rating: R / FRM
Pairing: Hotch/Reid ; established relationship
Word Count: 1,756
Summary: Maybe Spencer was just too insecure.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters used in my story. They belong to CBS. I just happened to borrow them for a little fun in the sun.
A/N:
First of all, thanks to freddlerabbit for betaing. Secondly, this is another part for my Domestic Moments Universe. However, like any other part, this can be read as a standalone. Also, I apologize for the lack of updates. Finals was a bitch.
----------------------
One year, four months, eight days, and sixteen hours. That was how long Aaron and Spencer have been involved in an intimate relationship. However, in that one year, four months, eight days, and sixteen hours, neither of them had said the three words that couples normally murmured to each other on daily basis. Then again, they weren’t exactly a normal couple either. Because first and foremost, their relationship was not permitted at their work, due to fraternization rules, which meant that they hardly ever showed any public affection with to one another. Then, on top of that, it was also awkward to show affection at home as well because of Aaron’s son - Jack. Not that the couple hid their relationship from Jack, it was more on principles. It was a fact that no child wanted to witness parents shoving their tongues down each other’s throats.
However, it wasn’t that they needed to say I love you to each other. It wasn’t needed. They didn’t need to say it to confirm affection and caring for each other. Because they knew they did with their actions and glances and their passionate love-making.
Oh yes. The sex was fantastic.
Actually, the first few times Spencer and Aaron had sex, it was very…awkward and wasn’t really what either really expected. Both of them were fumbling around, shifting uncomfortably, nervously, sloppily. In other words, the first few times weren’t memorable. And not to mention that it took them six months before graduating from just kissing. But once they’ve gotten accustomed to one another, once they’ve figured out each other’s sweet, delicate, sensitive spots that drove one another to absolute bliss, the sex became downright amazing. Which was totally expected on Aaron’s part - at least, in Spencer’s opinion because if one were to really think about it: the way Aaron was always stoic and in control, his muscular, well-toned built body, in terrific shape, of course he would be amazing in bed. Because he was always driven.
But then there was Spencer. Lanky, awkward, almost downright fragile, one would immediately think he had no particular experience in bed. And he didn’t, hardly. Maybe the odd kiss and touch here and there in college when his roommate at college threw a party and a drunk girl would come and mistake Spencer as her boyfriend, but otherwise, nothing real, nothing intimate. So, after getting past the awkward phase of their sex life, Aaron - and even Spencer himself - was surprised just how…intense he got during sex. And how skilled his fingers and tongue and lips were.
Definitely not expected.
No one was complaining.
However, no matter how close they were to coming, or how they would cuddle up after mind-blowing sex, neither of the two murmured the three words: I love you. Aaron almost did one time or another, but he fell asleep before his mouth could utter a single syllable. He also held back because Spencer was different. It was Spencer’s first time being in a relationship with a man, and perhaps with anyone really. So, Aaron kept his mouth shut. He just proved his love through gestures. And then there was Spencer again. Spencer always thought about it, saying those words. He always came up with elaborate scenarios on how to say those words. But when it came down to actually saying it, he lost all confidence and chickened out the last second. He’d just end up just kissing Aaron, or lacing their fingers together. But no matter what he did, he just couldn’t say it. He wasn’t ready. Maybe he wasn’t ready to face the insecurities of Aaron possibly rejecting him. All these what-if’s popped into his mind. What if he did say it, and Aaron didn’t return it. What if Aaron decided to break it off because he didn’t want to be committed to someone 15 years younger - to someone who was only his subordinate.
Maybe it was better off they didn’t say it.
But Spencer couldn’t stop thinking about it. He wondered if Aaron did, too. Maybe he was making too much of a big deal out of it.
Maybe Spencer was just too insecure.
Aaron was on top of Spencer. Both of them were sweaty and naked and nearing absolute bliss. Thick droplets of sweat trickled down Aaron’s forehead as he thrust his throbbing cock in and out of his lover. Each time his cock brushed against Spencer’s prostate, Spencer would squirm and let out a loud moan that anyone in a 100 meter radius could hear - thank god Jack wasn’t home, Aaron thought.
The older man kissed his lover’s neck, his hand reaching down to wrap his massive hand around Spencer’s heavy and weeping erection. Spencer moaned again, uncontrollably. Aaron’s mouth found the younger man’s neck, sucked on it, and bit it, not caring that it would leave a mark. Because seeing his lover so wanton and so very “un-Spencer” like, it made him want to mark Spencer to make sure people knew he was his and his only. Because he liked to reassure himself that Spencer was really his. That this wasn’t all just some dream. Because Spencer was 15 years younger than he was. And that age gap always worried him even after his lover constantly reminded him that age didn’t matter.
Spencer’s fingers scraped his chest, desperately.
No, age definitely didn’t matter. Not now, not ever. Because what they were sharing was something beautiful and ever so wonderful.
Aaron quickened his pace.
“Aaron, please - I -” Spencer cried out as Aaron pumped his cock fast and hard.
Not slowing down, Aaron pressed his lips on Spencer’s ear and murmured, “What do you want, Spence?”
“I - Just -” Spencer breathed out, stuttering out incoherent words. And all the while, Aaron just smirked as he worked his magic.
Aaron continued so place swift kisses all over Spencer’s neck as his hips slammed harder into his slender lover.
This was the only time Spencer let go, so vulnerable and needy and it turned Aaron on so much.
And Aaron knew every little touch that drove Spencer over the edge. Just a tiny caress on this pulsing vein on his rock-hard cock, a little nip or lick behind his ear, and sucking on his collarbone, after doing that, Spencer was gone.
“Oh god, Aaron!”
Spencer’s body arched, his head thrown back against the pillow, and came into Aaron’s hand, hard - so hard that Aaron nearly came right then and there especially when Spencer’s ass hole clenched tighter around his throbbing cock. It felt so good, so damn good. Aaron’s hips jerks forward as he shoved harder into his lover. Just a few more thrusts and -
“Spence, I’m going - I -” And Aaron reached his own limit, the peak of his and Spencer’s ecstasy.
Aaron moaned out, his body convulsing and his thick white spurts exploded between them. Then, he exhaustedly collapsed beside Spencer on their bed. Both of them were breathing frantically, their hearts beating erratically, and happily sated. Neither of them said anything, mainly because they didn’t have the energy to speak. Somehow, Aaron found the strength to reach over the bedside table to retrieve the towel. Carefully, he wiped himself and his lover off. Then, he tossed the towel down to the ground and wrapped his arm around Spencer’s lean body.
Their eyes met. They both smiled.
The younger man was the first one to speak. He murmured, “God, that was amazing, Aaron.”
Wordlessly, Aaron laced their fingers together. He brought Spencer’s hand up to his lips and kissed it gently, never breaking their eye contact, the smile never leaving his lips. Slowly, Aaron inched his face closer to Spencer’s, lips mere centimetres away from one another. Spencer could feel his lover’s breath tickling his tender lips.
And it was then and there that he felt it: the sudden urge to say those three words and actually have meaning to it. Because this moment that they had shared was damn near close to perfection. Not just the love-making, but this - the aftermath. The smiles, cuddling, kissing, it was just perfect, and he felt compelled to say it. And Spencer knew that Aaron wouldn’t be the first to say it, to initiate it, and not until he knew he was ready. He knew Aaron wanted to, for the longest time, say those words. He was, after all, married before. So, it probably came naturally to him, after all, considering he had been in a heterosexual relationship for over half his life. But it was Spencer’s first time in a steady, intimate relationship. And he knew that Aaron acknowledged the fact that he needed time and space to adapt to this relationship they shared. He knew Aaron wanted to give him all the time he needed.
That was why he loved Aaron. Because he understood so well.
Before there lips met, Spencer pressed their foreheads together, their noses brushing against one another. He closed his eyes. His body was still and quiet, but the frantic beating of his heart vibrated through his bony chest.
“Aaron.”
“Yeah?” The older man breathed out in anticipation.
Spencer swallowed the lump in his throat, his eyes remaining closed. And finally, he said it. He finally said it. And it felt surprisingly…good.
“I - Iloveyou.”
It was muffled and fast and if it were directed to someone else, that person may have no understood. But Aaron did. And the smile on his face widened. Spencer opened his eyes and witnessed the huge smile plastered on Aaron’s face. Seeing that smile made all tiredness seep away from his bones. It was probably the biggest and happiest smile he’d ever seen on Aaron’s face.
“God, Spence. I love you, too.”
They kissed softly yet with just the right degree of tenderness. It was different from all the other kisses they had shared, Spencer decided. Because all that weight that was burden inside of him had been lifted. He could finally admit out loud that he loved Aaron Hotchner. By saying those three words, he allowed himself to be…loved. It was like acceptance. He finally pushed his insecurities away that maybe, just maybe, Aaron wasn’t about to leave him. That he deserved happiness, too - hell, after what they’d both been through, they did deserve every once of happiness life had to offer.
Spencer shifted closer to Aaron. Their limbs became intertwined and tangled together. With more emphasis and enunciation, quietly, he slowly repeated, “I love you, Aaron Hotchner.”
The invisible barrier of doubt between them was gone.
-------------------