Greatest D&D Game Ever
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happygoodies (8:43:58 PM): wanna start an ad&D campaign with me?
happygoodies (8:44:01 PM): i call DM
George G0 (8:44:13 PM): hmm
George G0 (8:44:20 PM): online?
George G0 (8:44:25 PM): sure
happygoodies (8:44:26 PM): YES
George G0 (8:44:28 PM): ok
happygoodies (8:44:29 PM): ok roll your stats
happygoodies (8:44:47 PM): done?
George G0 (8:44:58 PM): 18/79, 17, 16, 17, 17, 18
happygoodies (8:45:04 PM): FUCK YOU'RE A LIAR
George G0 (8:45:08 PM): wait, that 16 is a 17
George G0 (8:45:12 PM): no way
George G0 (8:45:16 PM): what should he be?
happygoodies (8:45:23 PM): STOP I CALL LIES
happygoodies (8:45:27 PM): I'M GOING TO ROLL YOUR STATS FOR YOU
happygoodies (8:45:28 PM): brb
happygoodies (8:45:59 PM): STR 6 DEX 11 CON 4 WIS 2 MEN 5 CHR 3
happygoodies (8:46:30 PM): now pick your race and your class and your name
George G0 (8:46:33 PM): hm, ok that sounds fair, if I'm playing a bug
happygoodies (8:46:43 PM): bugman it is
George G0 (8:46:49 PM): no
George G0 (8:46:52 PM): not a bug man
happygoodies (8:46:52 PM): ??
George G0 (8:46:53 PM): a bug
happygoodies (8:47:05 PM): elvish ant warrior?
George G0 (8:47:15 PM): no, hey, listen to me carefully
George G0 (8:47:18 PM): I'm playing a bug
happygoodies (8:47:22 PM): c;ass
George G0 (8:47:26 PM): I'm playing an earwig
happygoodies (8:47:39 PM): bard?
George G0 (8:47:42 PM): king of the earwigs
George G0 (8:47:51 PM): hm, he's a mage earwig
happygoodies (8:47:59 PM): your WIS isn't high enough
George G0 (8:48:07 PM): hm
George G0 (8:48:09 PM): ok warrior
George G0 (8:48:10 PM): wait
George G0 (8:48:12 PM): sure it is
happygoodies (8:48:13 PM): your STR isn't high enough
George G0 (8:48:18 PM): he's a fucking earwig
George G0 (8:48:26 PM): that's incredibly smart for an earwig
happygoodies (8:48:26 PM): you can only be a rogue or a monk
George G0 (8:48:30 PM): ok
George G0 (8:48:31 PM): monk
happygoodies (8:48:33 PM): k
George G0 (8:48:34 PM): earwig monk
happygoodies (8:48:35 PM): name?
George G0 (8:48:46 PM): Trotch
happygoodies (8:48:49 PM): k
happygoodies (8:48:55 PM): you're in the busy streets of waterdeep what do you do
George G0 (8:49:12 PM): I ask for directions to the inn
happygoodies (8:49:24 PM): you only speak Earwig the people hear speak Common
happygoodies (8:49:29 PM): HERE
George G0 (8:49:31 PM): no way, I speak common
happygoodies (8:49:42 PM): your WIS isn't high enough for extra languages
happygoodies (8:49:52 PM): YOU'RE ENTERING BATTLE
George G0 (8:49:55 PM): ok
George G0 (8:49:57 PM): against what?
happygoodies (8:49:58 PM): a burly dwarf is trying to use stomp attack on you
George G0 (8:50:12 PM): I attack his ear
happygoodies (8:50:19 PM): he is wearing plate armor and saddlebags
George G0 (8:50:25 PM): not on his ear
happygoodies (8:50:27 PM): k
happygoodies (8:50:36 PM): he has a THAC0 of 8
happygoodies (8:50:45 PM): so i roll a 1D20 and got 14
George G0 (8:50:47 PM): I'm already under his helmet
happygoodies (8:50:56 PM): calculating his AR of 7 and BU of 14
happygoodies (8:51:07 PM): that means you do 1D4 damage so he loses 1 hit point
George G0 (8:51:11 PM): ok
happygoodies (8:51:24 PM): he uses his stomp attack on you
George G0 (8:51:25 PM): hm
George G0 (8:51:29 PM): i'm in his helmet
happygoodies (8:51:34 PM): BUT BEFORE HE CAN A FLOOD ENTERS THE CITY
George G0 (8:51:39 PM): jesus
happygoodies (8:51:42 PM): THE WATER IS RISING AT 5FT/ROUND
happygoodies (8:51:43 PM): WHAT DO YOU DO
George G0 (8:51:48 PM): hmm
George G0 (8:51:52 PM): I fly
happygoodies (8:51:58 PM): you don't have cloak of flight
George G0 (8:52:01 PM): I just fly around
George G0 (8:52:04 PM): dude, I'm an earwig
happygoodies (8:52:08 PM): earwigs can't fly
George G0 (8:52:13 PM): they can't?
happygoodies (8:52:15 PM): NO
happygoodies (8:52:18 PM): I DON'T THINK SO
George G0 (8:52:18 PM): I think they can
happygoodies (8:52:21 PM): THEY'D BE AWFULLY SCARY IF THEY DID
George G0 (8:52:32 PM): I'm pretty sure they do
George G0 (8:52:38 PM): ask someone
happygoodies (8:52:49 PM): http://web.ukonline.co.uk/Members/s.livingston/science/nqt2/earwig.html
happygoodies (8:52:57 PM): arts of Earwig.
Wings
Wing cases
On an earwig's body are shiny cases. Most of the time, the earwig keeps them closed. They keep the earwigs wings protected. When they fly the wing cases snap open. They hardly ever fly.
Flight wings
On wing cases, you can see the flight wings. The wings are so big, the earwig needs to fold the wings 40 times. The earwig hardly ever flies.
happygoodies (8:52:59 PM): i guess you're right
happygoodies (8:53:13 PM): Legs
An earwig should have six legs. A leg contains several parts. Sometimes, an earwig's leg might come off.
happygoodies (8:53:17 PM): while you're flying 2 of your legs come off
happygoodies (8:53:23 PM): now you only have 4 legs (3 on right, 1 on left)
George G0 (8:53:24 PM): how come?
George G0 (8:53:27 PM): what the hell
happygoodies (8:53:29 PM): SOMETIMES THAT JUST HAPPENS
George G0 (8:53:38 PM): George G0 (10:47:16 PM): can earwigs fly?
gos81 (10:47:34 PM): can camels swim ?
George G0 (8:53:43 PM): what the hell does that mean?
happygoodies (8:53:52 PM): "yes"
George G0 (8:54:00 PM): hm
happygoodies (8:54:15 PM): ok 9 rounds have passed
George G0 (8:54:23 PM): hm
happygoodies (8:54:31 PM): you're in the middle of a new ocean dubbed "Elfish Ocean"
happygoodies (8:54:34 PM): what do you do
George G0 (8:54:45 PM): I need to find a sword
happygoodies (8:54:59 PM): you spend 2 rounds searching for a sword but all you find is water and fish
George G0 (8:55:09 PM): I need the sword of light or something
George G0 (8:55:24 PM): I need the axe of the dwarvish lords
happygoodies (8:55:29 PM): you found the sword of light but no axe
George G0 (8:55:37 PM): ok
George G0 (8:55:46 PM): I alight on the sword
happygoodies (8:55:48 PM): sword of light +2
happygoodies (8:55:55 PM): ALIGHT?
George G0 (8:55:56 PM): I wield the sword
George G0 (8:55:57 PM): is
George G0 (8:55:59 PM): yes
George G0 (8:56:05 PM): I land on it and pick it up
happygoodies (8:56:17 PM): you can't fly while carrying the sword
George G0 (8:56:25 PM): sure, why the hell not
happygoodies (8:56:25 PM): you're falling into the ocean at a rate of 45 ft/round
George G0 (8:56:30 PM): ok
happygoodies (8:56:31 PM): YOU HAVE A STR OF 2
George G0 (8:56:48 PM): I have an str of 6
happygoodies (8:56:52 PM): Antennae
Earwigs use their antennae to feel smell and taste. All earwigs don't have the same segments of antennae, as you will see if you look closely at one when it is walking about.
happygoodies (8:56:58 PM): you smell an ancient dungeon with your antennae
George G0 (8:57:03 PM): hm
George G0 (8:57:09 PM): I drag my sword over to it
happygoodies (8:57:18 PM): k you enter
happygoodies (8:57:24 PM): inside is a gang of kobolds and 3 beholder-kin
George G0 (8:57:34 PM): I attack the beholder
George G0 (8:57:38 PM): with my sword
happygoodies (8:57:44 PM): your last left leg comes off while hobbling to the beholder
George G0 (8:57:55 PM): I keep attacking
happygoodies (8:58:06 PM): k it was a surprise attack so you do x2 damage
George G0 (8:58:12 PM): nice
happygoodies (8:58:15 PM): your sword does 8D6 damage + 2
George G0 (8:58:19 PM): I spit on the beholder too
happygoodies (8:58:24 PM): i rolled a 7 so it does 9 damage total
George G0 (8:58:29 PM): I think I have some sort of poison spittle
happygoodies (8:58:39 PM): Pincers
Earwigs have small claws called pincers. The earwigs use their pincers to defend themselves from their enemies.
happygoodies (8:58:45 PM): no you just have pincers and a sword of light
George G0 (8:58:47 PM): hm
George G0 (8:58:48 PM): ok
George G0 (8:59:00 PM): I call for aid from paladine
happygoodies (8:59:09 PM): k since the beholder is Venerable aged you get initiative for the next round
happygoodies (8:59:21 PM): paladine comes and makes the first attack
George G0 (8:59:22 PM): ok, I'm attacking with the sword again
George G0 (8:59:28 PM): awesome
happygoodies (8:59:37 PM): paladine attacks with an axe of dwarven lords 12D4 + 1
George G0 (8:59:42 PM): I attack paladine
happygoodies (8:59:48 PM): he does 17 damage and slays the beholder-kin
happygoodies (8:59:58 PM): you slayed paladine
George G0 (9:00:10 PM): I'll take the axe
George G0 (9:00:14 PM): what does he have on him
George G0 (9:00:16 PM): I loot him
happygoodies (9:00:26 PM): you only have one side of legs so you can only wield the axe or the sword at one time
happygoodies (9:00:41 PM): you leave the sword of light on the ground and a kobold schoolgirl picks it up
George G0 (9:00:42 PM): well first I loot the corpse
George G0 (9:00:45 PM): ok
George G0 (9:00:57 PM): I attack the schoolgirl
happygoodies (9:00:57 PM): you find 38 gold pieces, 19 copper pieces, and 42 electron pieces
George G0 (9:01:10 PM): doesn't paladine have anything else?
George G0 (9:01:12 PM): he's a god
happygoodies (9:01:14 PM): you roll above your THAC0 of 19 and miss
happygoodies (9:01:29 PM): he has saddlebags and a plate armor but the plate armor is too big
George G0 (9:01:40 PM): I pray for help from another god
happygoodies (9:01:53 PM): the schoolgirl runs for help and shrieks loudly
happygoodies (9:02:00 PM): the shrieking causes an avalanche of boulders from above
George G0 (9:02:12 PM): I run away
happygoodies (9:02:15 PM): you have 1 round until 47 19ton boulders fall on you
happygoodies (9:02:20 PM): you can't run, you only have one row of legs
George G0 (9:02:22 PM): I run
George G0 (9:02:26 PM): I hop
happygoodies (9:02:36 PM): you hop well out of the way of the boulders
happygoodies (9:02:43 PM): the boulders crush all of the kobolds except the schoolgirl
George G0 (9:02:54 PM): I attack the schoolgirl again
happygoodies (9:02:55 PM): the schoolgirl gains 174,394XP and you see her grow in strength and hit dice
George G0 (9:03:11 PM): hm
happygoodies (9:03:21 PM): you roll above your thac0 again but you slice her schoolgirl uniform off with your sword of light
George G0 (9:03:22 PM): I pray for aid from the god of kobolds
George G0 (9:03:35 PM): I don the uniform
happygoodies (9:03:35 PM): the god of the kobolds (thauros) comes and smites the schoolgirl
George G0 (9:03:49 PM): I attack thauros
happygoodies (9:03:51 PM): you are now wearing the kobold skirt but it was cursed
happygoodies (9:03:57 PM): you now have the curse of Rotting Meat
happygoodies (9:04:08 PM): you attack thauros from behind killing him
George G0 (9:04:20 PM): I loot his corpse
happygoodies (9:04:59 PM): thauros was wearing an Earwig Chain Mail +9 but your curse causes his body to rot expiditiously and the chain mail is now covered with deadly intelligent mold
George G0 (9:05:25 PM): I pray for aid from the demoness of fungus
happygoodies (9:05:41 PM): the demoness (Kaldora) approaches and attacks you with psionics
George G0 (9:05:57 PM): I hit back hard with enegy spiral
happygoodies (9:06:09 PM): the energy spiral slays Kaldora and the Chain Mail Earwig Mold
George G0 (9:06:18 PM): I don the earwig mail
happygoodies (9:06:23 PM): unfortunately the spiral caused an even larger boulder avalanche
George G0 (9:06:24 PM): and loot kaldora's corpse
George G0 (9:06:32 PM): I loot quickly
happygoodies (9:06:35 PM): you have 9 round before the boulders smash kaldora's corpse
happygoodies (9:06:42 PM): after 6 rounds you find 3 electron pieces, continue?
George G0 (9:06:46 PM): yes
happygoodies (9:07:01 PM): after 2 more rounds you find 1 more electron piece and a treasure chest, continue?
George G0 (9:07:04 PM): yes
happygoodies (9:07:22 PM): after 2 more rounds you find 6 electron pieces and a second Earwig Chain Mail +2, continue?
George G0 (9:07:27 PM): yes
happygoodies (9:07:40 PM): a boulder hits you on the right legs and does 1D6 damage
George G0 (9:07:46 PM): continue looting
happygoodies (9:07:51 PM): the damage causes all of your legs to come off
George G0 (9:07:57 PM): I keep looting
happygoodies (9:08:08 PM): you find nothing else besides Kaldora's beautiful naked demon flesh
George G0 (9:08:22 PM): ok, I'm going to build a castle to house my stuff
George G0 (9:08:30 PM): oh, I open the treasure chest
happygoodies (9:08:31 PM): ok the castle is complete after 14 rounds
George G0 (9:08:45 PM): ok, I hire 200 armed retainers
happygoodies (9:08:45 PM): the treasure chest is empty besides 2 pairs of Earwig Chain Mail +6
George G0 (9:08:52 PM): also, a laso apso
happygoodies (9:09:07 PM): Kaldora's husband, Brutus, comes from a demon portal and attacks your castle
George G0 (9:09:09 PM): but I attack the laso ahpso
George G0 (9:09:27 PM): ok, I'll leave my armed men to deal with this
George G0 (9:09:34 PM): I mount my horse and ride
happygoodies (9:09:42 PM): Brutus killed all your armed men and laso apsid with a fire breath +3 attack
George G0 (9:09:50 PM): ok
George G0 (9:09:53 PM): that's too bad
happygoodies (9:09:58 PM): as you are riding away a 9ton boulder falls and kills your horse
George G0 (9:09:58 PM): I ride westward
happygoodies (9:10:03 PM): the horse meat immediately rots
George G0 (9:10:09 PM): ok, I'll just crawl
happygoodies (9:10:17 PM): you have nothing to crawl with
George G0 (9:10:27 PM): well I'm kind of squirming
happygoodies (9:10:30 PM): Brutus is within attacking range
George G0 (9:10:40 PM): no, I'm pretending not to notice him
George G0 (9:10:49 PM): I'm whistling
George G0 (9:10:54 PM): as though I haven't a care in the world
happygoodies (9:10:57 PM): Brutus looks around for an Earwig Lord but fails to notice you
happygoodies (9:11:08 PM): as he leaves through a demon portal he drops 400 electron pieces and a carpet of flying
George G0 (9:11:23 PM): ok, I'll make my way to them and board the carpet
happygoodies (9:11:51 PM): the carpet was a trap, it's actually a Carpet of Fire disguised as a Carpet of Flying
George G0 (9:11:56 PM): I fly to the smithy of prosthetic limbs
George G0 (9:12:02 PM): hm
happygoodies (9:12:02 PM): the Carpet of Fire is dealing 1D6 damage per round to you as long as you are on board
George G0 (9:12:12 PM): ok, well I'll stay on it anyway
happygoodies (9:12:17 PM): ok you arrive at the smithy
happygoodies (9:12:36 PM): you are down to 48 hit poitns
George G0 (9:12:37 PM): I ask how much he wants to make me fake earwig legs
happygoodies (9:12:52 PM): he replies "497 electron pieces"
George G0 (9:13:09 PM): I offer him 6
happygoodies (9:13:16 PM): you are entering combat
George G0 (9:13:23 PM): with whom?
happygoodies (9:13:26 PM): the smithy
happygoodies (9:13:37 PM): he rolls initiative and attacks you with 7 ninja stars
happygoodies (9:14:21 PM): you have slain the smithy
George G0 (9:14:39 PM): I search for prosthetic legs
happygoodies (9:15:00 PM): you find 9 of them made of solid electron
George G0 (9:15:13 PM): ok I take them all and put them on the firey carpet
happygoodies (9:15:48 PM): you now have in your possession: 9 legs, 2 saddlebags, 1 carpet, 496 electron pieces, 3 copper pieces, 4 chain mails
George G0 (9:15:58 PM): well I wear 6 of the legs
happygoodies (9:16:03 PM): you are still underwater, what do you do
George G0 (9:16:22 PM): I start searching for illithids
happygoodies (9:16:35 PM): instead you find Brutus the Mold Demon
George G0 (9:16:39 PM): ok
George G0 (9:16:45 PM): I greet him happily
happygoodies (9:16:48 PM): done
happygoodies (9:16:50 PM): continue searching?
George G0 (9:16:54 PM): yes
happygoodies (9:17:06 PM): you find 7 electron pieces and 4 electron earwig legs
George G0 (9:17:11 PM): nice
George G0 (9:17:24 PM): ok, I'm going to go to the sword coast
happygoodies (9:17:40 PM): on your way there you run out of hit points and enter coma
George G0 (9:17:44 PM): ok
George G0 (9:17:56 PM): hey, I have to go, let's stop here for now
happygoodies (9:18:05 PM): k
George G0 (9:18:10 PM): this is a good place to stop
happygoodies (9:18:14 PM): yeah
happygoodies (9:18:18 PM): good game
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Session concluded at 9:18:22 PM
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George G0 (9:18:24 PM): thanks, you too
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Session concluded at 9:18:26 PM
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George G0 (9:18:35 PM): It's tough, but not too tough
happygoodies (9:18:46 PM): thanks, i've had lots of practice
George G0 (9:18:47 PM): it really makes me use my head
George G0 (9:18:52 PM): yeah, it shows
George G0 (9:18:56 PM): see you later
happygoodies (9:19:03 PM): rahowa
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Session concluded at 9:19:14 PM
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also, this...
http://www.livejournal.com/community/girls_are_evil/22955.html
happygoodies (8:43:58 PM): wanna start an ad&D campaign with me?
happygoodies (8:44:01 PM): i call DM
George G0 (8:44:13 PM): hmm
George G0 (8:44:20 PM): online?
George G0 (8:44:25 PM): sure
happygoodies (8:44:26 PM): YES
George G0 (8:44:28 PM): ok
happygoodies (8:44:29 PM): ok roll your stats
happygoodies (8:44:47 PM): done?
George G0 (8:44:58 PM): 18/79, 17, 16, 17, 17, 18
happygoodies (8:45:04 PM): FUCK YOU'RE A LIAR
George G0 (8:45:08 PM): wait, that 16 is a 17
George G0 (8:45:12 PM): no way
George G0 (8:45:16 PM): what should he be?
happygoodies (8:45:23 PM): STOP I CALL LIES
happygoodies (8:45:27 PM): I'M GOING TO ROLL YOUR STATS FOR YOU
happygoodies (8:45:28 PM): brb
happygoodies (8:45:59 PM): STR 6 DEX 11 CON 4 WIS 2 MEN 5 CHR 3
happygoodies (8:46:30 PM): now pick your race and your class and your name
George G0 (8:46:33 PM): hm, ok that sounds fair, if I'm playing a bug
happygoodies (8:46:43 PM): bugman it is
George G0 (8:46:49 PM): no
George G0 (8:46:52 PM): not a bug man
happygoodies (8:46:52 PM): ??
George G0 (8:46:53 PM): a bug
happygoodies (8:47:05 PM): elvish ant warrior?
George G0 (8:47:15 PM): no, hey, listen to me carefully
George G0 (8:47:18 PM): I'm playing a bug
happygoodies (8:47:22 PM): c;ass
George G0 (8:47:26 PM): I'm playing an earwig
happygoodies (8:47:39 PM): bard?
George G0 (8:47:42 PM): king of the earwigs
George G0 (8:47:51 PM): hm, he's a mage earwig
happygoodies (8:47:59 PM): your WIS isn't high enough
George G0 (8:48:07 PM): hm
George G0 (8:48:09 PM): ok warrior
George G0 (8:48:10 PM): wait
George G0 (8:48:12 PM): sure it is
happygoodies (8:48:13 PM): your STR isn't high enough
George G0 (8:48:18 PM): he's a fucking earwig
George G0 (8:48:26 PM): that's incredibly smart for an earwig
happygoodies (8:48:26 PM): you can only be a rogue or a monk
George G0 (8:48:30 PM): ok
George G0 (8:48:31 PM): monk
happygoodies (8:48:33 PM): k
George G0 (8:48:34 PM): earwig monk
happygoodies (8:48:35 PM): name?
George G0 (8:48:46 PM): Trotch
happygoodies (8:48:49 PM): k
happygoodies (8:48:55 PM): you're in the busy streets of waterdeep what do you do
George G0 (8:49:12 PM): I ask for directions to the inn
happygoodies (8:49:24 PM): you only speak Earwig the people hear speak Common
happygoodies (8:49:29 PM): HERE
George G0 (8:49:31 PM): no way, I speak common
happygoodies (8:49:42 PM): your WIS isn't high enough for extra languages
happygoodies (8:49:52 PM): YOU'RE ENTERING BATTLE
George G0 (8:49:55 PM): ok
George G0 (8:49:57 PM): against what?
happygoodies (8:49:58 PM): a burly dwarf is trying to use stomp attack on you
George G0 (8:50:12 PM): I attack his ear
happygoodies (8:50:19 PM): he is wearing plate armor and saddlebags
George G0 (8:50:25 PM): not on his ear
happygoodies (8:50:27 PM): k
happygoodies (8:50:36 PM): he has a THAC0 of 8
happygoodies (8:50:45 PM): so i roll a 1D20 and got 14
George G0 (8:50:47 PM): I'm already under his helmet
happygoodies (8:50:56 PM): calculating his AR of 7 and BU of 14
happygoodies (8:51:07 PM): that means you do 1D4 damage so he loses 1 hit point
George G0 (8:51:11 PM): ok
happygoodies (8:51:24 PM): he uses his stomp attack on you
George G0 (8:51:25 PM): hm
George G0 (8:51:29 PM): i'm in his helmet
happygoodies (8:51:34 PM): BUT BEFORE HE CAN A FLOOD ENTERS THE CITY
George G0 (8:51:39 PM): jesus
happygoodies (8:51:42 PM): THE WATER IS RISING AT 5FT/ROUND
happygoodies (8:51:43 PM): WHAT DO YOU DO
George G0 (8:51:48 PM): hmm
George G0 (8:51:52 PM): I fly
happygoodies (8:51:58 PM): you don't have cloak of flight
George G0 (8:52:01 PM): I just fly around
George G0 (8:52:04 PM): dude, I'm an earwig
happygoodies (8:52:08 PM): earwigs can't fly
George G0 (8:52:13 PM): they can't?
happygoodies (8:52:15 PM): NO
happygoodies (8:52:18 PM): I DON'T THINK SO
George G0 (8:52:18 PM): I think they can
happygoodies (8:52:21 PM): THEY'D BE AWFULLY SCARY IF THEY DID
George G0 (8:52:32 PM): I'm pretty sure they do
George G0 (8:52:38 PM): ask someone
happygoodies (8:52:49 PM): http://web.ukonline.co.uk/Members/s.livingston/science/nqt2/earwig.html
happygoodies (8:52:57 PM): arts of Earwig.
Wings
Wing cases
On an earwig's body are shiny cases. Most of the time, the earwig keeps them closed. They keep the earwigs wings protected. When they fly the wing cases snap open. They hardly ever fly.
Flight wings
On wing cases, you can see the flight wings. The wings are so big, the earwig needs to fold the wings 40 times. The earwig hardly ever flies.
happygoodies (8:52:59 PM): i guess you're right
happygoodies (8:53:13 PM): Legs
An earwig should have six legs. A leg contains several parts. Sometimes, an earwig's leg might come off.
happygoodies (8:53:17 PM): while you're flying 2 of your legs come off
happygoodies (8:53:23 PM): now you only have 4 legs (3 on right, 1 on left)
George G0 (8:53:24 PM): how come?
George G0 (8:53:27 PM): what the hell
happygoodies (8:53:29 PM): SOMETIMES THAT JUST HAPPENS
George G0 (8:53:38 PM): George G0 (10:47:16 PM): can earwigs fly?
gos81 (10:47:34 PM): can camels swim ?
George G0 (8:53:43 PM): what the hell does that mean?
happygoodies (8:53:52 PM): "yes"
George G0 (8:54:00 PM): hm
happygoodies (8:54:15 PM): ok 9 rounds have passed
George G0 (8:54:23 PM): hm
happygoodies (8:54:31 PM): you're in the middle of a new ocean dubbed "Elfish Ocean"
happygoodies (8:54:34 PM): what do you do
George G0 (8:54:45 PM): I need to find a sword
happygoodies (8:54:59 PM): you spend 2 rounds searching for a sword but all you find is water and fish
George G0 (8:55:09 PM): I need the sword of light or something
George G0 (8:55:24 PM): I need the axe of the dwarvish lords
happygoodies (8:55:29 PM): you found the sword of light but no axe
George G0 (8:55:37 PM): ok
George G0 (8:55:46 PM): I alight on the sword
happygoodies (8:55:48 PM): sword of light +2
happygoodies (8:55:55 PM): ALIGHT?
George G0 (8:55:56 PM): I wield the sword
George G0 (8:55:57 PM): is
George G0 (8:55:59 PM): yes
George G0 (8:56:05 PM): I land on it and pick it up
happygoodies (8:56:17 PM): you can't fly while carrying the sword
George G0 (8:56:25 PM): sure, why the hell not
happygoodies (8:56:25 PM): you're falling into the ocean at a rate of 45 ft/round
George G0 (8:56:30 PM): ok
happygoodies (8:56:31 PM): YOU HAVE A STR OF 2
George G0 (8:56:48 PM): I have an str of 6
happygoodies (8:56:52 PM): Antennae
Earwigs use their antennae to feel smell and taste. All earwigs don't have the same segments of antennae, as you will see if you look closely at one when it is walking about.
happygoodies (8:56:58 PM): you smell an ancient dungeon with your antennae
George G0 (8:57:03 PM): hm
George G0 (8:57:09 PM): I drag my sword over to it
happygoodies (8:57:18 PM): k you enter
happygoodies (8:57:24 PM): inside is a gang of kobolds and 3 beholder-kin
George G0 (8:57:34 PM): I attack the beholder
George G0 (8:57:38 PM): with my sword
happygoodies (8:57:44 PM): your last left leg comes off while hobbling to the beholder
George G0 (8:57:55 PM): I keep attacking
happygoodies (8:58:06 PM): k it was a surprise attack so you do x2 damage
George G0 (8:58:12 PM): nice
happygoodies (8:58:15 PM): your sword does 8D6 damage + 2
George G0 (8:58:19 PM): I spit on the beholder too
happygoodies (8:58:24 PM): i rolled a 7 so it does 9 damage total
George G0 (8:58:29 PM): I think I have some sort of poison spittle
happygoodies (8:58:39 PM): Pincers
Earwigs have small claws called pincers. The earwigs use their pincers to defend themselves from their enemies.
happygoodies (8:58:45 PM): no you just have pincers and a sword of light
George G0 (8:58:47 PM): hm
George G0 (8:58:48 PM): ok
George G0 (8:59:00 PM): I call for aid from paladine
happygoodies (8:59:09 PM): k since the beholder is Venerable aged you get initiative for the next round
happygoodies (8:59:21 PM): paladine comes and makes the first attack
George G0 (8:59:22 PM): ok, I'm attacking with the sword again
George G0 (8:59:28 PM): awesome
happygoodies (8:59:37 PM): paladine attacks with an axe of dwarven lords 12D4 + 1
George G0 (8:59:42 PM): I attack paladine
happygoodies (8:59:48 PM): he does 17 damage and slays the beholder-kin
happygoodies (8:59:58 PM): you slayed paladine
George G0 (9:00:10 PM): I'll take the axe
George G0 (9:00:14 PM): what does he have on him
George G0 (9:00:16 PM): I loot him
happygoodies (9:00:26 PM): you only have one side of legs so you can only wield the axe or the sword at one time
happygoodies (9:00:41 PM): you leave the sword of light on the ground and a kobold schoolgirl picks it up
George G0 (9:00:42 PM): well first I loot the corpse
George G0 (9:00:45 PM): ok
George G0 (9:00:57 PM): I attack the schoolgirl
happygoodies (9:00:57 PM): you find 38 gold pieces, 19 copper pieces, and 42 electron pieces
George G0 (9:01:10 PM): doesn't paladine have anything else?
George G0 (9:01:12 PM): he's a god
happygoodies (9:01:14 PM): you roll above your THAC0 of 19 and miss
happygoodies (9:01:29 PM): he has saddlebags and a plate armor but the plate armor is too big
George G0 (9:01:40 PM): I pray for help from another god
happygoodies (9:01:53 PM): the schoolgirl runs for help and shrieks loudly
happygoodies (9:02:00 PM): the shrieking causes an avalanche of boulders from above
George G0 (9:02:12 PM): I run away
happygoodies (9:02:15 PM): you have 1 round until 47 19ton boulders fall on you
happygoodies (9:02:20 PM): you can't run, you only have one row of legs
George G0 (9:02:22 PM): I run
George G0 (9:02:26 PM): I hop
happygoodies (9:02:36 PM): you hop well out of the way of the boulders
happygoodies (9:02:43 PM): the boulders crush all of the kobolds except the schoolgirl
George G0 (9:02:54 PM): I attack the schoolgirl again
happygoodies (9:02:55 PM): the schoolgirl gains 174,394XP and you see her grow in strength and hit dice
George G0 (9:03:11 PM): hm
happygoodies (9:03:21 PM): you roll above your thac0 again but you slice her schoolgirl uniform off with your sword of light
George G0 (9:03:22 PM): I pray for aid from the god of kobolds
George G0 (9:03:35 PM): I don the uniform
happygoodies (9:03:35 PM): the god of the kobolds (thauros) comes and smites the schoolgirl
George G0 (9:03:49 PM): I attack thauros
happygoodies (9:03:51 PM): you are now wearing the kobold skirt but it was cursed
happygoodies (9:03:57 PM): you now have the curse of Rotting Meat
happygoodies (9:04:08 PM): you attack thauros from behind killing him
George G0 (9:04:20 PM): I loot his corpse
happygoodies (9:04:59 PM): thauros was wearing an Earwig Chain Mail +9 but your curse causes his body to rot expiditiously and the chain mail is now covered with deadly intelligent mold
George G0 (9:05:25 PM): I pray for aid from the demoness of fungus
happygoodies (9:05:41 PM): the demoness (Kaldora) approaches and attacks you with psionics
George G0 (9:05:57 PM): I hit back hard with enegy spiral
happygoodies (9:06:09 PM): the energy spiral slays Kaldora and the Chain Mail Earwig Mold
George G0 (9:06:18 PM): I don the earwig mail
happygoodies (9:06:23 PM): unfortunately the spiral caused an even larger boulder avalanche
George G0 (9:06:24 PM): and loot kaldora's corpse
George G0 (9:06:32 PM): I loot quickly
happygoodies (9:06:35 PM): you have 9 round before the boulders smash kaldora's corpse
happygoodies (9:06:42 PM): after 6 rounds you find 3 electron pieces, continue?
George G0 (9:06:46 PM): yes
happygoodies (9:07:01 PM): after 2 more rounds you find 1 more electron piece and a treasure chest, continue?
George G0 (9:07:04 PM): yes
happygoodies (9:07:22 PM): after 2 more rounds you find 6 electron pieces and a second Earwig Chain Mail +2, continue?
George G0 (9:07:27 PM): yes
happygoodies (9:07:40 PM): a boulder hits you on the right legs and does 1D6 damage
George G0 (9:07:46 PM): continue looting
happygoodies (9:07:51 PM): the damage causes all of your legs to come off
George G0 (9:07:57 PM): I keep looting
happygoodies (9:08:08 PM): you find nothing else besides Kaldora's beautiful naked demon flesh
George G0 (9:08:22 PM): ok, I'm going to build a castle to house my stuff
George G0 (9:08:30 PM): oh, I open the treasure chest
happygoodies (9:08:31 PM): ok the castle is complete after 14 rounds
George G0 (9:08:45 PM): ok, I hire 200 armed retainers
happygoodies (9:08:45 PM): the treasure chest is empty besides 2 pairs of Earwig Chain Mail +6
George G0 (9:08:52 PM): also, a laso apso
happygoodies (9:09:07 PM): Kaldora's husband, Brutus, comes from a demon portal and attacks your castle
George G0 (9:09:09 PM): but I attack the laso ahpso
George G0 (9:09:27 PM): ok, I'll leave my armed men to deal with this
George G0 (9:09:34 PM): I mount my horse and ride
happygoodies (9:09:42 PM): Brutus killed all your armed men and laso apsid with a fire breath +3 attack
George G0 (9:09:50 PM): ok
George G0 (9:09:53 PM): that's too bad
happygoodies (9:09:58 PM): as you are riding away a 9ton boulder falls and kills your horse
George G0 (9:09:58 PM): I ride westward
happygoodies (9:10:03 PM): the horse meat immediately rots
George G0 (9:10:09 PM): ok, I'll just crawl
happygoodies (9:10:17 PM): you have nothing to crawl with
George G0 (9:10:27 PM): well I'm kind of squirming
happygoodies (9:10:30 PM): Brutus is within attacking range
George G0 (9:10:40 PM): no, I'm pretending not to notice him
George G0 (9:10:49 PM): I'm whistling
George G0 (9:10:54 PM): as though I haven't a care in the world
happygoodies (9:10:57 PM): Brutus looks around for an Earwig Lord but fails to notice you
happygoodies (9:11:08 PM): as he leaves through a demon portal he drops 400 electron pieces and a carpet of flying
George G0 (9:11:23 PM): ok, I'll make my way to them and board the carpet
happygoodies (9:11:51 PM): the carpet was a trap, it's actually a Carpet of Fire disguised as a Carpet of Flying
George G0 (9:11:56 PM): I fly to the smithy of prosthetic limbs
George G0 (9:12:02 PM): hm
happygoodies (9:12:02 PM): the Carpet of Fire is dealing 1D6 damage per round to you as long as you are on board
George G0 (9:12:12 PM): ok, well I'll stay on it anyway
happygoodies (9:12:17 PM): ok you arrive at the smithy
happygoodies (9:12:36 PM): you are down to 48 hit poitns
George G0 (9:12:37 PM): I ask how much he wants to make me fake earwig legs
happygoodies (9:12:52 PM): he replies "497 electron pieces"
George G0 (9:13:09 PM): I offer him 6
happygoodies (9:13:16 PM): you are entering combat
George G0 (9:13:23 PM): with whom?
happygoodies (9:13:26 PM): the smithy
happygoodies (9:13:37 PM): he rolls initiative and attacks you with 7 ninja stars
happygoodies (9:14:21 PM): you have slain the smithy
George G0 (9:14:39 PM): I search for prosthetic legs
happygoodies (9:15:00 PM): you find 9 of them made of solid electron
George G0 (9:15:13 PM): ok I take them all and put them on the firey carpet
happygoodies (9:15:48 PM): you now have in your possession: 9 legs, 2 saddlebags, 1 carpet, 496 electron pieces, 3 copper pieces, 4 chain mails
George G0 (9:15:58 PM): well I wear 6 of the legs
happygoodies (9:16:03 PM): you are still underwater, what do you do
George G0 (9:16:22 PM): I start searching for illithids
happygoodies (9:16:35 PM): instead you find Brutus the Mold Demon
George G0 (9:16:39 PM): ok
George G0 (9:16:45 PM): I greet him happily
happygoodies (9:16:48 PM): done
happygoodies (9:16:50 PM): continue searching?
George G0 (9:16:54 PM): yes
happygoodies (9:17:06 PM): you find 7 electron pieces and 4 electron earwig legs
George G0 (9:17:11 PM): nice
George G0 (9:17:24 PM): ok, I'm going to go to the sword coast
happygoodies (9:17:40 PM): on your way there you run out of hit points and enter coma
George G0 (9:17:44 PM): ok
George G0 (9:17:56 PM): hey, I have to go, let's stop here for now
happygoodies (9:18:05 PM): k
George G0 (9:18:10 PM): this is a good place to stop
happygoodies (9:18:14 PM): yeah
happygoodies (9:18:18 PM): good game
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Session concluded at 9:18:22 PM
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George G0 (9:18:24 PM): thanks, you too
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Session concluded at 9:18:26 PM
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George G0 (9:18:35 PM): It's tough, but not too tough
happygoodies (9:18:46 PM): thanks, i've had lots of practice
George G0 (9:18:47 PM): it really makes me use my head
George G0 (9:18:52 PM): yeah, it shows
George G0 (9:18:56 PM): see you later
happygoodies (9:19:03 PM): rahowa
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Session concluded at 9:19:14 PM
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also, this...
http://www.livejournal.com/community/girls_are_evil/22955.html