And just when you thought we were all so different.
Yeah, after this weekend, I think my views are changing on a lot of things. I've grown so apathetic to everything going on. I used to be the nice guy, which definitely isn't working, and the quiet kid...which, well, still pretty true (but that's just because I hate everybody and they aren't worth my time or words). I used to be about trust and honor--about philosophy and existentialism. I used to be a romantic idealist. But it seems it's easier to be nothing at all, and, I think that's because that's really what I've been all along, I just had to quit kidding myself.
As for everybody that thinks they're an individual, special....unique: so is everybody else, and that's why we're all the same; unless you can fly or shoot lasers out of your eyes, you're like everybody else. So the next time you look at somebody, thinking they're inferior, less than you for some reason like race or appearance, just think of all the people that make you look so fucking small that the reality of your insignificance comes crashing down. We don't make an impact on the world, we have small fickle connections to small groups of people and we can only hope that they appreciate the company we provide.
And God...don't get me started; people cry when you tell them their god doesn't exist, but I have yet to cry when people tell me their god does exist, or that my creator doesn't exist, because I know for a fact my dad is real (and he can beat up your dad). Oh yeah, and all you agnostics, quit being so damn fickle, pick a fucking side, you believe in God or you don't, it's a pretty big decision to be on the edge about. Plus, if there is a god, being agnostic isn't going to get you off the hook, so quit trying to leave yourself an out and just go on living you life without going to church. If you seriously don't know, I'd suggest going to church or coping with the fact that you are [possibly] going to burn for eternity in a dark, cruel hell. Jackass.
Socially I've been doing a pretty good job of cutting myself off, be it through work, class or otherwise. Not intentional, but like my momma always told me, "shit happens"--or something. But I have to say, diabetes is a sweet excuse for getting out of anything in the world, class, assignments, etc.
If it wouldn't make me go blind or die, I'd probably have a drink, because let's face it, being straight edge just sets you aside, and if there's two things the world hates more than conformists, it's rebels and individuals. Because people with morals just remind us of how much of a waste our lives are, and how much of an abomination we've become.
Dammit, I just want to chase down buffalo with spears in my loin cloth and end the day with a nice nomadic chant asking for rain from a god that listens, as I huddle around the camp fire and hope I don't roll into it in a restless fit of anger at night when I realize instead of the rain I asked for, I for a plague of locusts. And come on, how fucking trite is that, who cares about locusts, plague of fucking dragon flies, except instead of dragon flies: dragons--you don't fuck with that god (I call him Timmy).
If you're still reading, I'll waste more of your time, because let's be honest, if you're reading my lamejournal, then you've got nothing better to do, and the sooner you realize that, the sooner you can go ahead and sign that pact with the devil, and that, should make the brief remainder of your life much easier.
And what is it about people caring what I think about them? I don't influence anything, so if I dislike you, you either deserved it or haven't proved that you don't, so your best bet would be deal with it and quit telling people you think I'm "a pretty cool guy" when you've been a condescending douche since we met. Just a thought.
You go to Hell planet Earth, you go to Hell and you die.