Comments | geozine: Annoyances

geozine

Annoyances

Nov 06, 2012 02:38

I think sexism has probably always annoyed me but it annoys me more as I become more conscious of it. Sexism seems like a strong word but that's what it is. On an hourly basis I'm reminded that emotion is weakness, that I'm not supposed to "worry my pretty little head" about shit, or that I need to sheltered/protected from things that are difficult ( Read more... )

argh, life, college

Comments 5

liaku November 6 2012, 09:15:28 UTC

who the fuck are you hanging out with every hour that're constantly sexist pigs?

i say punch them and go find better company

geozine November 6 2012, 16:02:06 UTC

I should mention that most of what I experience is the subtext of benevolent sexism and nice guy syndrome, stuff a lot of people might not notice, like being referred to repeatedly "girl" or one of a set of "girls"/"you girls", even being told to "just sit there and look pretty" as a joke, being cut a lot of slack at the slightest sign that I'm having trouble. These were what I noticed first, but once you see a pattern, you start noticing every little tiny detail that fits with the pattern. Details that would actually be completely unnoticeable were they not part of that pattern ( ... )

liaku November 6 2012, 19:09:32 UTC

(Slightly on the subject of being referred to as "girls," it's at least a Hispanic and I think Romance-language thing. I've always been referred to as one by international students from South America and by some students while I was abroad, especially if I was hanging out with other girls. I suspect it's non-offensive in their culture. Linguistically, I suspect it's because their languages split masculine/feminine all the time anyway ( ... )

geozine November 6 2012, 20:22:14 UTC

Yeah I dunno. I'm working on it, but nice guy syndrome is difficult to deal with because the last thing a "nice guy" wants to be acknowledge is the fact that he has sexist ideas. For someone who's built an identity on being "good" to women, that IS a kick in the balls. Doesn't mean I won't do it though. It's just frustrating.

Yeah, I don't feel like "white girl" stereotypes are really any better. I still feel like I have to put up a huge super-intelligent, badass front just to be viewed as an equal. I didn't realize I thought this, but now that I know, what really frustrates me is that I shouldn't have to put up a front to WIN the respect of people who think that my natural state of self is somehow inferior to theirs. What it really comes down to now is which I value more: people's respect, or the integrity of my own identity. I'm leaning towards integrity but maintaining that and trying to keep the respect part involves a lot of defensive aggression...respect through fear....like the threat of kung fu...

liaku November 8 2012, 07:07:01 UTC

How much do you think it's just yourself feeling that you're not being viewed as an equal? Because most of the men I know--especially those in academia--respect women a whole lot and see them as equals. Idk what it's like at UMCP, but it could be a whole catch-22 where you think you need to be better to be an equal, so you assume they think that too, which leads to you thinking that and etc ( ... )