Aoi Hitorigoto - 51. Abuse - by Katô Shigeaki
yay for having some time during the semester break to do things like this :D
Aoi Hitorigoto - 51. Abuse
I approve greatly of backbiting.
At pretty much any age you can say that or can be told so.
But I think, if saying it out loud, your character and what kind of education you received will be questioned. Because, isn't it bad if one gets abused right in front of your eyes.
This time it's the “advice for backbiting”, so please look kindly on my position in this matter.
This is only my cherished opinion but speaking bad of someone is only allowed towards people who are really important to you. To good friends, family, lovers, or if talking about myself, me who honestly slanders the members and other people close to me. It surely is the bride's special privilege to speak ill of her master. I take pride in the fact, that “it is only me, who is allowed to speak ill of Koyama”. Surely in the past, I think it was 87 times that I said secretly something like “This guy really is a lowbrow“ or “He says 'yes' to anything and everything, as if he's not even there or as if it's not about himself ”. Regarding this, I might have also said something so awful, it can't be written here. But I don't think I'm bad at all. Because something like this is a problem with the size of an ant existing in a large cosmos. This cosmos is love, something like it. But, with the exception of mine or Koyama's good friends, speaking ill of him can't be allowed. I just said this before but, that is a special privilege of people at one's side, that are close to oneself. The thing that, This mental abuse towards Koyama by me, still somewhere the feeling of “Well, in the end that's what I like about you” cannot be wiped out, and if I really make malicious remarks towards Koyama, it is a feeling of “aren't you useless as well, being together with such a guy?” = it unfortunately becomes a sort of self-denial. If someone else (completely unrelated person) speaks ill of Koyama, it is the same as if that fellow would be hissing and jeering at me. It's because indirectly he would be speaking ill of me, and when I defend Koyama at those times it is probably self-defense as well.
No matter how I'm backbiting to the other person about whatever makes me angry, there often is no readiness to break off contact with that person. The backbiting is proof of that. Because, if I wanted to break off contact, it would be okay to say it to the person directly. Without any intention like that, I just want to complain. Everyone is like that. I'm not a Buddhist saint.
There are also days when I complain about things like:
“Yamashita-kun, I want you to tell me regulary, what you are thinking about right now”
“Nishikido-kun, don't put your microphone in your pocket during the MC” or
“Masuda. When talking, bear the responsibility”
“Tegoshi. Speak Japanese properly. Because it's not 'aichiteru' (I wub you), but 'aishiteru' (I love you). Apologize once to that line.” or
“Koyama, I already slandered you a lot but, I have still not said enough”.
It's because I'm human.
However, in the case of backbiting the other one who one complains to is important. If one makes a mistake in telling that fellow, even if it's a light slander, there will be more and more attached to it and it will reach the ear of the person concerned as a considerably heavier abuse than originally thought of. If it has unfortunately come to that, even if saying it to the person directly, he is boiling with anger, and the situation has already become serious. And then saying something like “I was slandering you because I like you” is just adding fuel to the flames. Therefore, please make sure the other one you talk to seems like he can keep his mouth shut, or like a fellow who doesn't seem to listen to other people's stories. So, I trust the readers. That's why I slander the members (in particular Koyama) here. Everyone will either keep their mouth shut, or just skim this essay of mine from the beginning. Because I trust you.
Please note that English is not my native language. Although it doesn't feel like a foreign language to me, I'm aware that sometimes the phrasing might not be completely correct. So, I'm open for any corrections, regarding the Japanese-English translation or just the English in general.
And please don't take/re-post my translation without my permission, thanx.
:)
Aoi Hitorigoto - 51. Abuse
I approve greatly of backbiting.
At pretty much any age you can say that or can be told so.
But I think, if saying it out loud, your character and what kind of education you received will be questioned. Because, isn't it bad if one gets abused right in front of your eyes.
This time it's the “advice for backbiting”, so please look kindly on my position in this matter.
This is only my cherished opinion but speaking bad of someone is only allowed towards people who are really important to you. To good friends, family, lovers, or if talking about myself, me who honestly slanders the members and other people close to me. It surely is the bride's special privilege to speak ill of her master. I take pride in the fact, that “it is only me, who is allowed to speak ill of Koyama”. Surely in the past, I think it was 87 times that I said secretly something like “This guy really is a lowbrow“ or “He says 'yes' to anything and everything, as if he's not even there or as if it's not about himself ”. Regarding this, I might have also said something so awful, it can't be written here. But I don't think I'm bad at all. Because something like this is a problem with the size of an ant existing in a large cosmos. This cosmos is love, something like it. But, with the exception of mine or Koyama's good friends, speaking ill of him can't be allowed. I just said this before but, that is a special privilege of people at one's side, that are close to oneself. The thing that, This mental abuse towards Koyama by me, still somewhere the feeling of “Well, in the end that's what I like about you” cannot be wiped out, and if I really make malicious remarks towards Koyama, it is a feeling of “aren't you useless as well, being together with such a guy?” = it unfortunately becomes a sort of self-denial. If someone else (completely unrelated person) speaks ill of Koyama, it is the same as if that fellow would be hissing and jeering at me. It's because indirectly he would be speaking ill of me, and when I defend Koyama at those times it is probably self-defense as well.
No matter how I'm backbiting to the other person about whatever makes me angry, there often is no readiness to break off contact with that person. The backbiting is proof of that. Because, if I wanted to break off contact, it would be okay to say it to the person directly. Without any intention like that, I just want to complain. Everyone is like that. I'm not a Buddhist saint.
There are also days when I complain about things like:
“Yamashita-kun, I want you to tell me regulary, what you are thinking about right now”
“Nishikido-kun, don't put your microphone in your pocket during the MC” or
“Masuda. When talking, bear the responsibility”
“Tegoshi. Speak Japanese properly. Because it's not 'aichiteru' (I wub you), but 'aishiteru' (I love you). Apologize once to that line.” or
“Koyama, I already slandered you a lot but, I have still not said enough”.
It's because I'm human.
However, in the case of backbiting the other one who one complains to is important. If one makes a mistake in telling that fellow, even if it's a light slander, there will be more and more attached to it and it will reach the ear of the person concerned as a considerably heavier abuse than originally thought of. If it has unfortunately come to that, even if saying it to the person directly, he is boiling with anger, and the situation has already become serious. And then saying something like “I was slandering you because I like you” is just adding fuel to the flames. Therefore, please make sure the other one you talk to seems like he can keep his mouth shut, or like a fellow who doesn't seem to listen to other people's stories. So, I trust the readers. That's why I slander the members (in particular Koyama) here. Everyone will either keep their mouth shut, or just skim this essay of mine from the beginning. Because I trust you.
Please note that English is not my native language. Although it doesn't feel like a foreign language to me, I'm aware that sometimes the phrasing might not be completely correct. So, I'm open for any corrections, regarding the Japanese-English translation or just the English in general.
And please don't take/re-post my translation without my permission, thanx.
:)