i have morbid little fantasies when i'm driving.  typically, it's when my ears need a break so i turn off the radio, my hands on the wheel and foot on the pedal steady the course on auto-pilot, and my mind wanders.  i think about how would it be if i forgot to turn the wheel while angling around on those highway ramp loopy bridge things, how much ( Read more... )

back from thailand.
back from new york.
back from egypt, jordan, jerusalem.

if you ask me how was thailand, then i'll say "great!  awesome!"
if you ask me how was new york, then i'll say "cold!  rainy!"
if you ask me how was egypt, jordan, jerusalem, then i'll say "amazing, but tell you later.  there's just too much."

what i'll remember about thailand:
- ( Read more... )

there are up's and down's.  and everything just goes around and around.  the same triggers, same hot buttons, same patterns, same distrust.  sometimes, they wear different disguises and that's why get so dizzy with anger and contempt.  we are always chasing the tails of past arguments.  always trying to get ahead in some ego race around a circular ( Read more... )

the good thing about my exes is that once i've exited the relationship, they never re-enter.  no awkward face-to-face encounters out of the blue, no social circle overlap, no girlfriends that want my leftovers.  then again, the downside is that this probably reinforces the theory that my exes were all losers.  ouch ( Read more... )

a few weeks ago, i had an audition.  never mind that i ended up with a nasty bug that smuggled a bullfrog into my throat and rendered me useless for two work days.  and never mind that, in said convalescent condition, i totally overslept and missed said audition.  let's focus on the pre-sick-as-a-dog part where i hopped onto the walgreens drugstore ( Read more... )

oh, man.  i have a problem.  ugh, it's the kind of problem that makes you think i'm an uptight, humorless literalist.  blech ( Read more... )

back from spain ( Read more... )

i realized today that i've been crying a lot lately.  oh, no - everything's fine.  well, fine enough for me since i'm not me if there aren't a few rough edges and bumps in the road, and honestly, i'm more and more okay with that.  so it's not traumatized tears.  and it's two weeks too early for pms ( Read more... )

i said "failure" a lot.
she said "forgive" a lot.

she said "happy?"
i said "what-py?"

i had notes.
she had nothing.

and afterwards, i said "so how did i do?"
she smiled, "just fine."

i kicked myself as i left.

yes, this round of pms is totally going to my hips.  furthermore, my boobs are so sore they feel bruised or something.  owwie.  and i have cramps.  i hate how men don't get cramps ( Read more... )