Komui and Lenalee: Their thoughts on each other as seen in Chapter 138 and 140.
In the recent chapters, we've been given a lot of insight into Lenalee and Komui's thoughts and how they view each other. Here is just a little something I wrote on what I think they may be thinking in Chapter 138 and 140. We're given insight into what is in store for Lenalee's future and shown how both Komui and Lenalee view this information.
Lenalee at the moment is confused and angry, she feels helpless as her Innocence decides to have a mind of its own. She cannot reunite with her Innocence without dire consequences and these consequences worry her greatly. She had just found out from Helvaska that her Innocence is evolving, and it may be similar to those with a strong parasitic-type Innocence. However, Helvaska doesn't truly know because this is a phenomenon never before seen; she can only guess.
But her guess worries both Lenalee and Komui. Lenalee finds out that those with strong parasitic-type Innocence lives less than other humans. This is something she has never heard of before. Her shock is enough proof. It's very important information about the Innocence in general, but the Order kept it a secret, and for good reason. It would do no good to worry those with a parasitic-type Innocence. But Helvaska thought it important to tell Lenalee this, and that she should be prepared if she ever decided to activate her Innocence again.
Lenalee is very shocked about this information. She knew her Innocence had suffered greatly from her maximizing its power, however she thought that training was all she needed to get the Innocence back. It would take time, but eventually she would be using her Innocence again. Although she felt helpless and angry that she had to stay in the sidelines as her friends fought, what kept her going was the thought that even though she was injured, she would heal and reunite with her Innocence.
(I just want to say that Lenalee may not have thought it may be easy to reunite with her Innocence while in the Ark. Around the time, she was more worried about her friends than her Innocence, although it was hard for her to deal with her injury. I really need to reread her thoughts during that time and I may write something about it. It doesn't really belong in this essay since it is about the most recent chapters.)
However, the information she just received is far different from what she thought. Reuniting with her Innocence will be dangerous and highly risky. Who could say she would survive the encounter? A warrior she may be, but this is the weapon she had grown up with. The Innocence had been with her since a child; she had been kidnapped because of the Innocence. She was highly compatible with the Innocence and knew how to use the power well and now she finds what she thought of her Innocence may not be true. It is evolving to something completely different, something that may slowly take her life away. Now the weapon that had saved her many times, that she has relied on, may slowly kill her.
This worries her greatly, and rightly so. If she didn't worry, then she wouldn't be human. However, even with her troubled thoughts, she wanted to reunite with her Innocence anyway. When she found out in Chapter 140 that her friends were fighting, with their life on the line, she wasn't going to stand on the sidelines again. She wouldn't be able to stand it. It may be extremely risky, but she is willing the take the chance. She is not the type of woman to mope about it constantly; she is very strong and wanted to prove herself to her Innocence. When the chance came to fight, she responded with action and determination instead of self-pity. She wanted to prove that she could still fight, even with the consequences. All she had to do was reunite with her Innocence.
However, Komui would have none of this.
Although she was willing to sacrifice herself if need be, Komui wasn't willing to lose his sister. Understandable, yes? Komui wanted to protect his sister from everything -- from the Order, enemies, and even her Innocence. It was the main reason he was in the Order in the first place, in order to be with his sister and protect her from becoming a mere weapon to everyone around her. The Order wants to use her and the Innocence wants to use her. Komui wants Lenalee to remain as human as possible, to have a natural life as much as possible. It is almost an impossible feat in this war; however, he is there to protect her from becoming nothing but a harden person that the Order and Innocence can do with as pleased. She is a young woman who deserves to have as much of a real life as possible and Komui didn't want her to be a sacrifice for the Innocence and the war.
However, his worst fears have been confirmed. In Chapter 138, when Helvaska revealed the consequences of activating her Innocence, Komui has such pain on his face and he can't hide it. When she reunites with her Innocence, it would use her as nothing more than a weapon and slowly drain her life away. She would be nothing but a tool for the Innocence. Such consequences is not something that he wants Lenalee to face, but he knows eventually she may have to.
She is compatible with the Innocence and she may still be able to use it; the Order would not let her off from not using it. There is not much Exorcists and if she can still use it -- then consequences be damned. Komui may not be able to fight against the order on this considering they need as much warriors as possible and he knows this. However, he can stall for time. He doesn't want her to be sacrificed just yet. He doesn't want the Order and the Innocence to use her as they please. Once it happens, he may not be able to protect her and such a thought would truly make him feel helpless.
So once she tried to reach Helvaska for her Innocence in Chapter 140, Komui locked her in the Hospital room. Lenalee begs Komui to let her go so she can reunite with her Innocence, even at the consequence that she would die. And seeing his sister carelessly toss her life at the expense for her friends had shown him how much this war has already effected Lenalee. He doesn't want her sacrificed for the war and she was so willing to do so. He cannot stand the thought that she is willing to be a weapon at the expense for her life, that she wants to go into the battle even though the Innocence may not respond to her at all.
Lenalee doesn't view it this way however. Her world is consisted of her friends and she cannot stand to see her friends in battle as she just remains on the sideline. If they die and she wasn't there to help prevent it, it would truly destroy her. She needs her Innocence badly in order to join the battle. She doesn't view it as a sacrifice, but as a necessity. She has almost been in the Order all her life and exposed to this war. This is her life.
But Komui doesn't want her consumed by the war. If she does, then her life has been sacrificed to the Order and even her Innocence. But Komui blames himself when he sees his sister only caring about the well being of her friends more than herself. He only cares about her life. He will be sad if anyone he cares about dies, but it is Lenalee he loves above anyone else, and he would be devastated if she died. It would be a death that would destroy him. He already lost his parents and losing Lenalee would be the end of the world for him.
When she sees how deeply he cares for her she is definitely shocked at how he views her words. She is not wanting to hurt his feelings or make it seem like she has no regards for his feelings whatsoever. Her words seem so cruel to him, her own disregard for her life is like a cut through his heart. I don't think she was thinking about how cruel her own words can seem to Komui. She only wanted to help her friends and not feel helpless about her own predicament. She may not completely understand what Komui may be going through in regards to her. She doesn't view her life and her role in the war the way Komui does. She may not realize how much she has been hardened by the war, more hardened than most women ever will be. She has probably no one to compare herself to except other Exorcists; but they are warriors like her, and willing to sacrifice their own life if need be, but no normal human being would.
She may not understand but she saw how much it hurts her brother and she may be more careful in the future. But who truly knows? I don't think Lenalee can really sit still and Komui cannot protect her forever. She is almost a grown woman now and she will decided what her fate should be.
Lenalee at the moment is confused and angry, she feels helpless as her Innocence decides to have a mind of its own. She cannot reunite with her Innocence without dire consequences and these consequences worry her greatly. She had just found out from Helvaska that her Innocence is evolving, and it may be similar to those with a strong parasitic-type Innocence. However, Helvaska doesn't truly know because this is a phenomenon never before seen; she can only guess.
But her guess worries both Lenalee and Komui. Lenalee finds out that those with strong parasitic-type Innocence lives less than other humans. This is something she has never heard of before. Her shock is enough proof. It's very important information about the Innocence in general, but the Order kept it a secret, and for good reason. It would do no good to worry those with a parasitic-type Innocence. But Helvaska thought it important to tell Lenalee this, and that she should be prepared if she ever decided to activate her Innocence again.
Lenalee is very shocked about this information. She knew her Innocence had suffered greatly from her maximizing its power, however she thought that training was all she needed to get the Innocence back. It would take time, but eventually she would be using her Innocence again. Although she felt helpless and angry that she had to stay in the sidelines as her friends fought, what kept her going was the thought that even though she was injured, she would heal and reunite with her Innocence.
(I just want to say that Lenalee may not have thought it may be easy to reunite with her Innocence while in the Ark. Around the time, she was more worried about her friends than her Innocence, although it was hard for her to deal with her injury. I really need to reread her thoughts during that time and I may write something about it. It doesn't really belong in this essay since it is about the most recent chapters.)
However, the information she just received is far different from what she thought. Reuniting with her Innocence will be dangerous and highly risky. Who could say she would survive the encounter? A warrior she may be, but this is the weapon she had grown up with. The Innocence had been with her since a child; she had been kidnapped because of the Innocence. She was highly compatible with the Innocence and knew how to use the power well and now she finds what she thought of her Innocence may not be true. It is evolving to something completely different, something that may slowly take her life away. Now the weapon that had saved her many times, that she has relied on, may slowly kill her.
This worries her greatly, and rightly so. If she didn't worry, then she wouldn't be human. However, even with her troubled thoughts, she wanted to reunite with her Innocence anyway. When she found out in Chapter 140 that her friends were fighting, with their life on the line, she wasn't going to stand on the sidelines again. She wouldn't be able to stand it. It may be extremely risky, but she is willing the take the chance. She is not the type of woman to mope about it constantly; she is very strong and wanted to prove herself to her Innocence. When the chance came to fight, she responded with action and determination instead of self-pity. She wanted to prove that she could still fight, even with the consequences. All she had to do was reunite with her Innocence.
However, Komui would have none of this.
Although she was willing to sacrifice herself if need be, Komui wasn't willing to lose his sister. Understandable, yes? Komui wanted to protect his sister from everything -- from the Order, enemies, and even her Innocence. It was the main reason he was in the Order in the first place, in order to be with his sister and protect her from becoming a mere weapon to everyone around her. The Order wants to use her and the Innocence wants to use her. Komui wants Lenalee to remain as human as possible, to have a natural life as much as possible. It is almost an impossible feat in this war; however, he is there to protect her from becoming nothing but a harden person that the Order and Innocence can do with as pleased. She is a young woman who deserves to have as much of a real life as possible and Komui didn't want her to be a sacrifice for the Innocence and the war.
However, his worst fears have been confirmed. In Chapter 138, when Helvaska revealed the consequences of activating her Innocence, Komui has such pain on his face and he can't hide it. When she reunites with her Innocence, it would use her as nothing more than a weapon and slowly drain her life away. She would be nothing but a tool for the Innocence. Such consequences is not something that he wants Lenalee to face, but he knows eventually she may have to.
She is compatible with the Innocence and she may still be able to use it; the Order would not let her off from not using it. There is not much Exorcists and if she can still use it -- then consequences be damned. Komui may not be able to fight against the order on this considering they need as much warriors as possible and he knows this. However, he can stall for time. He doesn't want her to be sacrificed just yet. He doesn't want the Order and the Innocence to use her as they please. Once it happens, he may not be able to protect her and such a thought would truly make him feel helpless.
So once she tried to reach Helvaska for her Innocence in Chapter 140, Komui locked her in the Hospital room. Lenalee begs Komui to let her go so she can reunite with her Innocence, even at the consequence that she would die. And seeing his sister carelessly toss her life at the expense for her friends had shown him how much this war has already effected Lenalee. He doesn't want her sacrificed for the war and she was so willing to do so. He cannot stand the thought that she is willing to be a weapon at the expense for her life, that she wants to go into the battle even though the Innocence may not respond to her at all.
Lenalee doesn't view it this way however. Her world is consisted of her friends and she cannot stand to see her friends in battle as she just remains on the sideline. If they die and she wasn't there to help prevent it, it would truly destroy her. She needs her Innocence badly in order to join the battle. She doesn't view it as a sacrifice, but as a necessity. She has almost been in the Order all her life and exposed to this war. This is her life.
But Komui doesn't want her consumed by the war. If she does, then her life has been sacrificed to the Order and even her Innocence. But Komui blames himself when he sees his sister only caring about the well being of her friends more than herself. He only cares about her life. He will be sad if anyone he cares about dies, but it is Lenalee he loves above anyone else, and he would be devastated if she died. It would be a death that would destroy him. He already lost his parents and losing Lenalee would be the end of the world for him.
When she sees how deeply he cares for her she is definitely shocked at how he views her words. She is not wanting to hurt his feelings or make it seem like she has no regards for his feelings whatsoever. Her words seem so cruel to him, her own disregard for her life is like a cut through his heart. I don't think she was thinking about how cruel her own words can seem to Komui. She only wanted to help her friends and not feel helpless about her own predicament. She may not completely understand what Komui may be going through in regards to her. She doesn't view her life and her role in the war the way Komui does. She may not realize how much she has been hardened by the war, more hardened than most women ever will be. She has probably no one to compare herself to except other Exorcists; but they are warriors like her, and willing to sacrifice their own life if need be, but no normal human being would.
She may not understand but she saw how much it hurts her brother and she may be more careful in the future. But who truly knows? I don't think Lenalee can really sit still and Komui cannot protect her forever. She is almost a grown woman now and she will decided what her fate should be.