× Uno. [Video]

[getmesomewhisky]

[Oh hey there, people of Johto. Have a pleasant shot of an angry man in a suit, sitting on a bed while his Magikarp flops around on the floor nearby.]

Karp... karp... karp...

[It's pretty obvious that the poor thing is suffering. Further annoyed by the incessant "karp"ing, Xanxus gives the fish a swift kick, which sends it flying into the wall

Comments

[video] 8DDDDDDDD

[littleskyflame]

[ Okay hey guess who is surprised to see you :| ]

X-Xanxus?!!

[video] ♥~

[getmesomewhisky]

[Hey, look who's... maybe a little surprised but not happy to see you.]

Sawada.

[video] I'M SO EXCITED D< !!

[littleskyflame]

Ahhh-haha. Y-you probably won't find your weapons around here. Probably. Sorry.

[video] AHAHA I AM TOO BB

[getmesomewhisky]

[See this face? Xanxus does not like that answer.]

[video]

[blacklodged]

[Can you feel the disapproval? Cause it's here.]

Your weapons are gone. And you might want to treat that fish better than that.

[video]

[getmesomewhisky]

[Oh, he feels it. He just doesn't give a shit.]

No.

[video]

[blacklodged]

It's the closest thing you'll have to a weapon here.

[video]

[getmesomewhisky]

[He has to use a fish as a weapon? Seriously?]

You're kidding.

[video]

[monkeyflirt]

Hey! Don't kick your Pokémon!

[He crosses his arms. Okay, he knows]

We don't have our weapons here.

[video]

[getmesomewhisky]

I'll do whatever the fuck I want to it.

[Yippee, no weapons. Xanxus is so thrilled to hear that.]

[video]

[monkeyflirt]

You probably should stop, though.

[Fffff. :|]

It's your only defense here.

[video]

[getmesomewhisky]

I can defend myself better than this scum can.

[usedninjathief]

They take your weapons away while your unconscious I think. I had my weapon and my Materia taken! But they give you a new kind of weapon. That fish thing flopping around on the ground. It's a Poekee thing. And you can use it to battle.

[Yuffie gives the screen a skeptical look.] Though maybe not if you let it suffocate to death or punt it to death.

[getmesomewhisky]

[Congratulations, Yuffie, you've already been more useful than everyone else Xanxus has talked to.]

It can't fight.

[usedninjathief]

[Sweeeeeeet! That's a first. But she tries, she tries bro.]

It can't!? Most of the Poekee things can.

...Though I have heard that there's a fish thing that's pretty useless until it evovles. But once it evolves its BAD ASS!

You just gotta catch something else to help train it. You should have these red and white balls in your bag, and you can catch other Poekee things with 'em.

[getmesomewhisky]

When will it evolve?

[Because Xanxus could totally use a badass Pokémon right now.]

[video]

[pullswhales]

No, don't do that! You should at least get it in some water!

I wish I had my Ψdon's Entente with me; I'd feel a lot safer! But Dratini can defend us well enough!

[video]

[getmesomewhisky]

What the fuck is that.

[Xanxus has never heard of an Entente or a Dratini.]

[video]

[pullswhales]

Umm... Ψdon's Entente is the weapon I used back home! It's a double-pronged culling fork. It's usually used for ceremonial things, but it also makes a really good weapon!

[She lets Dratini out of her Pokéball, and she curls around Feferi, poking her nose at the screen.] This is Dratini!

[video]

[getmesomewhisky]

[Xanxus looks at the Dratini for a moment.]

Looks stupid.

[...Although still better than his dumbass fish.]