Fic: Good For What Ails You [NC-17] Merlin/Arthur
Title: Good For What Ails You
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2,000
Warnings: Pure porn with a side of light crack. This isn't really a medical kink.
Summary: Arthur has been suffering from an affliction for several days. Merlin administers the cure.
Notes: WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?! Written for marguerite_26 Make them do it comment fest.
Banner by hermette
“Merlin, I think I’ve found the solution!” Gaius exclaimed.
Merlin jerked his attention up from the book he had been pouring through, desperately searching for a cure for Arthur’s ailment. He scrambled around the table and peered over Gaius’ shoulder and read the passage Gaius was pointing at.
“NO! No way! We’ll keep looking, Gaius. There is no way Arthur is going to go for that,” Merlin said, shaking his head frantically.
Gaius removed his spectacles and looked up at Merlin with a raised eyebrow. “We have spent days trying to treat Arthur and he has been more than willing to try every remedy we have come up with. This is a rather simple cure. I don’t see any problem in administering it.”
Merlin crossed his arms and attempted to look firm. “Then you do it, because there is no way I’m going to.”
“Shall I send you to attend Lady Deirdre then? I suppose it is high time for you to learn the finer points of assisting with childbirth. I did promise I would be there to attend her within the hour,” Gaius said nonchalantly.
Merlin wasn’t fooled. He scowled at Gaius. “There are days I truly regret leaving Ealdor.”
“Make sure you use an ointment. The chamomile and sage would probably be the most soothing,” Gaius suggested, ignoring the scowl and gathering supplies in his satchel.
“I doubt Arthur’s going to care all that much about ointment selection. He’s going to kill me first,” Merlin mumbled, but dug around through the shelf full of ointments all the same.
Gaius chuckled. “Don’t be so overdramatic, Merlin. At this stage, I think Arthur will simply be pleased to be cured.”
“So I’ll see you in the morning, then? I hope you’ll be able to convince the king this is an actual remedy and have me released from the dungeons by then,” said Merlin.
“Get going. The prince is waiting.”
***
“Merlin! Have you... hic... and Gaius... hic... found something... hic... that actually works... hic..?” Arthur asked.
Arthur’s body jerked with each spasm and Merlin could see how tired the prince looked after three days of ceaseless hiccups. At first, Merlin had been genuinely amused by the affliction, and taken considerable joy in taking the piss out of Arthur, but he found no humour in it now. Well, maybe a little, but not enough to keep him from telling Arthur about the remedy, no matter how poorly it was likely to be received.
Merlin had brought the book Gaius had found the remedy in. He opened it and placed it squarely on the table in front of Arthur, pointing to the appropriate passage. “Gaius found this. Don’t be angry. We’ve been searching through books for days and this is the best we could find.”
Arthur batted his hand away. “It can’t... hic... be any worse... hic... than those awf-hic-l potions he... hic... gave me yester-hic... yesterday.”
Arthur turned his attention to the book, and read the passage, body shaking with each hiccup. When it was clear he had finished reading, but hadn’t reacted, or even looked up, Merlin tentatively spoke. “It’s not exactly pleasant, but, well, it couldn’t hurt, right? We could try it, and if it doesn’t work, we’ll never speak of it again.”
“Merlin... hic...” Arthur said dangerously, or as dangerously as a man could with every second word interrupted by a hiccup, “even if it... hic... does work... hic... we will never... hic... speak... hic... of it... hic... again... hic!”
“Right then, you’ll try it?” Merlin asked, covering his apprehensiveness with a cheerful demeanour.
Arthur sighed heavily, hiccupped loudly and nodded. “Might as-hic-well.”
Arthur stood from his chair and walked over to the bed. He calmly and deliberately toed off his boots, removed his trousers and undergarments, and positioned himself face down on the bed. Merlin stood frozen on the opposite side of the room, not daring to approach the bed. Every few seconds, the body on the bed twitched with another spasm, the malady not having disappeared for merely having knowledge of the cure.
“Come on... hic... Merlin. Let’s just... hic... get this... hic... over with,” said Arthur, his voice muffled against the pillow of his arms.
Nervously, Merlin got closer to the bed and withdrew the balm from his pocket. He reached a hand out to touch Arthur’s thigh, making him jump, but the angry reaction Merlin had been expecting never came. He carefully uncorked the jar and drew a finger through the greasy ointment.
His voice trembled when he said, “Gaius said to use this ointment, so... erm...”
“Whatever... hic... get on with it... hic!”
Summoning what courage he had, Merlin leaned over Arthur’s backside, took hold of the rather shapely buttocks he had spent months desperately trying to ignore and smeared ointment across Arthur’s puckered hole. Arthur sucked in a breath, or maybe just hiccupped, Merlin wasn’t sure. Merlin spread the balm as best he could and began rubbing small circles around the hole. The angle was awkward, side on as he was, and Merlin tried manoeuvring to have better access, but wasn’t very successful. Also, his trousers were feeling very tight, but that wasn’t something he was going to mention to Arthur.
“Um... Arthur?”
“Yes... hic... Not cured yet... hic”
“No. I... um... this is very awkward.”
“Well... hic... you are giving... hic... me a digital... hic... rectal... hic... massage... hic.”
“That’s not what I mean,” Merlin said. His face was flaming red and he was very glad Arthur had his face buried in his arms. “This isn’t... an easy angle... as it were... um...”
“Then... hic... climb onto... hic... the bed... hic... you numbskull... hic.”
“Right,” said Merlin, his whole body was trembling.
Merlin removed his boots, knowing Arthur would give him hell if he got on the bed with them on, though that was becoming one of the least of his concerns. He carefully climbed up onto the bed and straddled the prince’s legs, trying to convince himself that this was just like any other time he had found himself in such a position. Merlin had given Arthur massages plenty of times before. He had never been quite this aroused before, or been quite so worried about thoroughly shaming himself, but it was just like before. Yes. This was just a massage, a digital rectal massage.
Leaning forward, Merlin returned his digit to its previous task. Gently, he traced over the ridged skin, spreading the balm more evenly. Arthur made a sound that was definitely not a hiccup and sounded closer to a hum. Emboldened, Merlin pressed more firmly at Arthur’s hole, pushing past the tight ring of muscle. The body under him jerked in reaction, but Merlin ignored it, focussing intently on his task. He pushed the finger back and forth several times watching as the muscle clamped around the intrusion. When the clenching lessened, Merlin pushed his finger deeper, wiggling it around inside. The instructions in the medical text hadn’t been very specific, and Merlin hoped he was doing it right. In the process of his wiggling, his finger brushed against something firmer through the skin and Arthur bucked at the sensation, groaning loudly.
Merlin panicked and withdrew his finger. “Sorry! Sorry! Did I hurt you?”
“Whatever it was you were massaging, I suggest you massage it again,” Arthur growled.
Merlin’s jaw dropped, but he moved eagerly to comply. Scooping up some more balm, Merlin pressed his finger in again, searching for the spot that had made Arthur react so strongly. He fumbled around, but was immediately certain when he had found it again. Arthur gasped and writhed at the touch.
“Yes. More,” Arthur said breathily.
Merlin nodded dumbly, despite the fact Arthur couldn’t see him, and pressed a second finger in. Arthur made an indistinct noise, and his hole clenched a bit, but he wiggled his arse, pushing up against the fingers. Merlin began thrusting his fingers in and out, his slack jawed expression becoming a rather soppy smile as he watched Arthur’s obvious enjoyment. Arthur was rutting into the mattress beneath him, making urgent noises in his throat and arching back in pleasure each time Merlin’s fingers found the sweet spot.
“Merlin,” Arthur gasped, “More.”
It was more awkward pressing a third finger in than it had been adding a second. Merlin found he couldn’t press in as deeply, and it was slightly uncomfortable when the ring of muscles clenched around him. Arthur was breathing heavily below him, not quite as frantic as he had been a moment ago.
“Alright?” he asked.
Arthur made an inarticulate grunt in response.
“Arthur?”
Arthur turned his head to the side and glanced back at Merlin. His face was flushed and his eyes were heavy lidded and dark with intensity.
“Fuck me,” Arthur whispered.
“What?”
“I can feel you want to.”
Merlin had been trying very hard to ignore his aching cock since this whole thing began, but now that his attention had been fully drawn to it, he whimpered.
Arthur grinned. “Do it.”
That was all the encouragement Merlin needed. He leapt up from the bed and fumbled with his laces, desperate to get his trousers off. He nearly tripped as he stepped out of them and climbed back on the mattress. Arthur had sifted, his knees spread wide under him and arse presented, the stretched hole winking back at Merlin. Groping around for the open jar of ointment, Merlin slicked his cock and positioned himself between Arthur’s spread legs. He pressed three fingers as deep as he could, and grinned at Arthur’s reaction.
“Do it,” Arthur said again, somewhat desperately.
Merlin pressed the blunt end of his cock to Arthur’s entrance and slowly pushed in, bit by bit, until he was fully seated inside. Arthur was hot and tight and clenching, clenching around him. It was overwhelming and Merlin nearly came then, not moving, just pressed so deeply inside. After a minute the clenching eased and Arthur pushed back against him.
“Move,” Arthur hissed urgently.
And Merlin did. Fingers gripping tightly at Arthur’s hips, once Merlin began to move, he thrust into Arthur with unrelenting urgency. His body was trembling with sensation and pleasure and Arthur surrounding his cock with heat and pressure. It was too much, all at once, and Merlin slammed in hard moaning and keening as he came, shuddering, into Arthur.
Collapsing against Arthur’s back, Merlin released his iron grip from Arthur’s hips and moved a hand down to stroke Arthur’s cock, still hard as steel, and leaking from the tip. Arthur made a small sound in the back of his throat that was half groan, half whine as Merlin pulled at Arthur’s cock in fast, urgent strokes. Arthur trembled as he came, head bowed and arse clenching around Merlin’s spent cock. Merlin whimpered at the sensation and pulled out, wrapping an arm around Arthur and dragging him down onto his side.
The air was heavy with the smells of sex and sage. Merlin found the jar of ointment jamming into his hip and tossed it further away on the large bed. He ran a hand along Arthur’s taught stomach, swirling his fingers through the trail of hair that lead down to curly thatch that surrounded his cock. Arthur hummed and trapped the playful fingers with his own.
In the quiet room, all that could be heard was their breathing as it slowly evened out.
“Your hiccups are gone,” Merlin said softly.
Arthur gave a small breathy laugh. “So they are. Digital rectal massage.”
“Who knew what an incredible cure it could be,” Merlin said cheekily.
Arthur flipped over and looked directly into Merlin’s eyes. “You’ll have to try it sometime.”
Merlin grinned broadly saying, “I just might.”
***
Incidently, according to Mr. Stephen Fry, this technique actually does work.
Okay, um... yeah... this is how I spent my Sunday.
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2,000
Warnings: Pure porn with a side of light crack. This isn't really a medical kink.
Summary: Arthur has been suffering from an affliction for several days. Merlin administers the cure.
Notes: WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?! Written for marguerite_26 Make them do it comment fest.
Banner by hermette
“Merlin, I think I’ve found the solution!” Gaius exclaimed.
Merlin jerked his attention up from the book he had been pouring through, desperately searching for a cure for Arthur’s ailment. He scrambled around the table and peered over Gaius’ shoulder and read the passage Gaius was pointing at.
“NO! No way! We’ll keep looking, Gaius. There is no way Arthur is going to go for that,” Merlin said, shaking his head frantically.
Gaius removed his spectacles and looked up at Merlin with a raised eyebrow. “We have spent days trying to treat Arthur and he has been more than willing to try every remedy we have come up with. This is a rather simple cure. I don’t see any problem in administering it.”
Merlin crossed his arms and attempted to look firm. “Then you do it, because there is no way I’m going to.”
“Shall I send you to attend Lady Deirdre then? I suppose it is high time for you to learn the finer points of assisting with childbirth. I did promise I would be there to attend her within the hour,” Gaius said nonchalantly.
Merlin wasn’t fooled. He scowled at Gaius. “There are days I truly regret leaving Ealdor.”
“Make sure you use an ointment. The chamomile and sage would probably be the most soothing,” Gaius suggested, ignoring the scowl and gathering supplies in his satchel.
“I doubt Arthur’s going to care all that much about ointment selection. He’s going to kill me first,” Merlin mumbled, but dug around through the shelf full of ointments all the same.
Gaius chuckled. “Don’t be so overdramatic, Merlin. At this stage, I think Arthur will simply be pleased to be cured.”
“So I’ll see you in the morning, then? I hope you’ll be able to convince the king this is an actual remedy and have me released from the dungeons by then,” said Merlin.
“Get going. The prince is waiting.”
***
“Merlin! Have you... hic... and Gaius... hic... found something... hic... that actually works... hic..?” Arthur asked.
Arthur’s body jerked with each spasm and Merlin could see how tired the prince looked after three days of ceaseless hiccups. At first, Merlin had been genuinely amused by the affliction, and taken considerable joy in taking the piss out of Arthur, but he found no humour in it now. Well, maybe a little, but not enough to keep him from telling Arthur about the remedy, no matter how poorly it was likely to be received.
Merlin had brought the book Gaius had found the remedy in. He opened it and placed it squarely on the table in front of Arthur, pointing to the appropriate passage. “Gaius found this. Don’t be angry. We’ve been searching through books for days and this is the best we could find.”
Arthur batted his hand away. “It can’t... hic... be any worse... hic... than those awf-hic-l potions he... hic... gave me yester-hic... yesterday.”
Arthur turned his attention to the book, and read the passage, body shaking with each hiccup. When it was clear he had finished reading, but hadn’t reacted, or even looked up, Merlin tentatively spoke. “It’s not exactly pleasant, but, well, it couldn’t hurt, right? We could try it, and if it doesn’t work, we’ll never speak of it again.”
“Merlin... hic...” Arthur said dangerously, or as dangerously as a man could with every second word interrupted by a hiccup, “even if it... hic... does work... hic... we will never... hic... speak... hic... of it... hic... again... hic!”
“Right then, you’ll try it?” Merlin asked, covering his apprehensiveness with a cheerful demeanour.
Arthur sighed heavily, hiccupped loudly and nodded. “Might as-hic-well.”
Arthur stood from his chair and walked over to the bed. He calmly and deliberately toed off his boots, removed his trousers and undergarments, and positioned himself face down on the bed. Merlin stood frozen on the opposite side of the room, not daring to approach the bed. Every few seconds, the body on the bed twitched with another spasm, the malady not having disappeared for merely having knowledge of the cure.
“Come on... hic... Merlin. Let’s just... hic... get this... hic... over with,” said Arthur, his voice muffled against the pillow of his arms.
Nervously, Merlin got closer to the bed and withdrew the balm from his pocket. He reached a hand out to touch Arthur’s thigh, making him jump, but the angry reaction Merlin had been expecting never came. He carefully uncorked the jar and drew a finger through the greasy ointment.
His voice trembled when he said, “Gaius said to use this ointment, so... erm...”
“Whatever... hic... get on with it... hic!”
Summoning what courage he had, Merlin leaned over Arthur’s backside, took hold of the rather shapely buttocks he had spent months desperately trying to ignore and smeared ointment across Arthur’s puckered hole. Arthur sucked in a breath, or maybe just hiccupped, Merlin wasn’t sure. Merlin spread the balm as best he could and began rubbing small circles around the hole. The angle was awkward, side on as he was, and Merlin tried manoeuvring to have better access, but wasn’t very successful. Also, his trousers were feeling very tight, but that wasn’t something he was going to mention to Arthur.
“Um... Arthur?”
“Yes... hic... Not cured yet... hic”
“No. I... um... this is very awkward.”
“Well... hic... you are giving... hic... me a digital... hic... rectal... hic... massage... hic.”
“That’s not what I mean,” Merlin said. His face was flaming red and he was very glad Arthur had his face buried in his arms. “This isn’t... an easy angle... as it were... um...”
“Then... hic... climb onto... hic... the bed... hic... you numbskull... hic.”
“Right,” said Merlin, his whole body was trembling.
Merlin removed his boots, knowing Arthur would give him hell if he got on the bed with them on, though that was becoming one of the least of his concerns. He carefully climbed up onto the bed and straddled the prince’s legs, trying to convince himself that this was just like any other time he had found himself in such a position. Merlin had given Arthur massages plenty of times before. He had never been quite this aroused before, or been quite so worried about thoroughly shaming himself, but it was just like before. Yes. This was just a massage, a digital rectal massage.
Leaning forward, Merlin returned his digit to its previous task. Gently, he traced over the ridged skin, spreading the balm more evenly. Arthur made a sound that was definitely not a hiccup and sounded closer to a hum. Emboldened, Merlin pressed more firmly at Arthur’s hole, pushing past the tight ring of muscle. The body under him jerked in reaction, but Merlin ignored it, focussing intently on his task. He pushed the finger back and forth several times watching as the muscle clamped around the intrusion. When the clenching lessened, Merlin pushed his finger deeper, wiggling it around inside. The instructions in the medical text hadn’t been very specific, and Merlin hoped he was doing it right. In the process of his wiggling, his finger brushed against something firmer through the skin and Arthur bucked at the sensation, groaning loudly.
Merlin panicked and withdrew his finger. “Sorry! Sorry! Did I hurt you?”
“Whatever it was you were massaging, I suggest you massage it again,” Arthur growled.
Merlin’s jaw dropped, but he moved eagerly to comply. Scooping up some more balm, Merlin pressed his finger in again, searching for the spot that had made Arthur react so strongly. He fumbled around, but was immediately certain when he had found it again. Arthur gasped and writhed at the touch.
“Yes. More,” Arthur said breathily.
Merlin nodded dumbly, despite the fact Arthur couldn’t see him, and pressed a second finger in. Arthur made an indistinct noise, and his hole clenched a bit, but he wiggled his arse, pushing up against the fingers. Merlin began thrusting his fingers in and out, his slack jawed expression becoming a rather soppy smile as he watched Arthur’s obvious enjoyment. Arthur was rutting into the mattress beneath him, making urgent noises in his throat and arching back in pleasure each time Merlin’s fingers found the sweet spot.
“Merlin,” Arthur gasped, “More.”
It was more awkward pressing a third finger in than it had been adding a second. Merlin found he couldn’t press in as deeply, and it was slightly uncomfortable when the ring of muscles clenched around him. Arthur was breathing heavily below him, not quite as frantic as he had been a moment ago.
“Alright?” he asked.
Arthur made an inarticulate grunt in response.
“Arthur?”
Arthur turned his head to the side and glanced back at Merlin. His face was flushed and his eyes were heavy lidded and dark with intensity.
“Fuck me,” Arthur whispered.
“What?”
“I can feel you want to.”
Merlin had been trying very hard to ignore his aching cock since this whole thing began, but now that his attention had been fully drawn to it, he whimpered.
Arthur grinned. “Do it.”
That was all the encouragement Merlin needed. He leapt up from the bed and fumbled with his laces, desperate to get his trousers off. He nearly tripped as he stepped out of them and climbed back on the mattress. Arthur had sifted, his knees spread wide under him and arse presented, the stretched hole winking back at Merlin. Groping around for the open jar of ointment, Merlin slicked his cock and positioned himself between Arthur’s spread legs. He pressed three fingers as deep as he could, and grinned at Arthur’s reaction.
“Do it,” Arthur said again, somewhat desperately.
Merlin pressed the blunt end of his cock to Arthur’s entrance and slowly pushed in, bit by bit, until he was fully seated inside. Arthur was hot and tight and clenching, clenching around him. It was overwhelming and Merlin nearly came then, not moving, just pressed so deeply inside. After a minute the clenching eased and Arthur pushed back against him.
“Move,” Arthur hissed urgently.
And Merlin did. Fingers gripping tightly at Arthur’s hips, once Merlin began to move, he thrust into Arthur with unrelenting urgency. His body was trembling with sensation and pleasure and Arthur surrounding his cock with heat and pressure. It was too much, all at once, and Merlin slammed in hard moaning and keening as he came, shuddering, into Arthur.
Collapsing against Arthur’s back, Merlin released his iron grip from Arthur’s hips and moved a hand down to stroke Arthur’s cock, still hard as steel, and leaking from the tip. Arthur made a small sound in the back of his throat that was half groan, half whine as Merlin pulled at Arthur’s cock in fast, urgent strokes. Arthur trembled as he came, head bowed and arse clenching around Merlin’s spent cock. Merlin whimpered at the sensation and pulled out, wrapping an arm around Arthur and dragging him down onto his side.
The air was heavy with the smells of sex and sage. Merlin found the jar of ointment jamming into his hip and tossed it further away on the large bed. He ran a hand along Arthur’s taught stomach, swirling his fingers through the trail of hair that lead down to curly thatch that surrounded his cock. Arthur hummed and trapped the playful fingers with his own.
In the quiet room, all that could be heard was their breathing as it slowly evened out.
“Your hiccups are gone,” Merlin said softly.
Arthur gave a small breathy laugh. “So they are. Digital rectal massage.”
“Who knew what an incredible cure it could be,” Merlin said cheekily.
Arthur flipped over and looked directly into Merlin’s eyes. “You’ll have to try it sometime.”
Merlin grinned broadly saying, “I just might.”
***
Incidently, according to Mr. Stephen Fry, this technique actually does work.
Click to viewOkay, um... yeah... this is how I spent my Sunday.