Fic: What Makes All The Difference ~Part V

[gfeather]

Part V

If someone had asked her to explain precisely what had happened that night, Padma would have been completely unable to. Even in her mind, she turned over the events she remembered, but they were blurry and distorted. She clearly recalled beginning an ordinary chakra healing, this time starting at the root, but somewhere from there reasoned thought gave way to instinctual action. From that point she had very limited memories of what had happened. It was more than a little unsettling to someone who prided herself on sound memory and well reasoned actions.

Someone, most likely Neville, had picked her up off the floor and tucked her into one of the empty beds in the room. Upon waking, she hadn’t stuck around long enough to ask about it, being too embarrassed at the situation she had found herself in. Padma had, however, paused to check Seamus over thoroughly before she left. He didn’t even stir in his sleep, but she was reasonably satisfied it was a natural sleep that would do him good.

In the three weeks since then, life at Hogwarts took a steady plunge for the worse. Furious about the graffiti, Snape had given the Carrow’s an even greater licence to punish the more rebellious students. It wasn’t precisely free reign, she knew he must have held them back a few times, but Seamus was certainly not the last to experience an Unforgivable Curse. The senior years were now instructed in administering the curses and the more serious breaches of school conduct were as likely to be punished with student led Cruciatus as any of the other advanced curses. Though barbaric, her one consolation was that the inability to perform the curse was not yet punishable. Being completely unable to summon malice against her classmates meant she could not hurt them on those days. It also meant exhaustion for her later. If it was at all possible to arrange, she did her best to ease the residual effects with her newly discovered treatment method. Most often it was other D.A. members who were subjugated to the Cruciatus, and she felt more at ease sharing her skills and caring for them, even if it left her drained.

However, none of the other chakra healings she had performed had resulted in the same peculiarities that Seamus’ had. She had somehow become hyper-aware of him whenever they were in the same room together. In class, she could almost sense his spell before he cast it. The first time she noticed this was during Transfiguration, when she had vividly seen the image of a shiny suit of armour in her mind just before looking across the class to see Seamus turn his chair into a six-foot tall, gleaming knight.

During Dark Arts class a week ago, she had been paired with him in a duel that had lasted for over half an hour before Amycus Carrow had finally called it as a draw. Though she hadn’t been trying particularly hard at the beginning, the longer they continued to throw spells at each other, the more impossible it was for one to get an advantage over the other. Padma had thought she was imagining it, initially, but the more incidents that occurred, the less she could ignore it. Something had happened between them that she hadn’t anticipated.

All this was complicated by her growing attraction to him. When Luna had first suggested that Seamus fancied her, Padma had tried to brush it off as one of the many ridiculous things that spilled from the blonde’s lips. She tried to be patient with Luna’s rambling, but most of the time she brushed it off as ludicrous nonsense. Luna was a nice girl, but her oddities were overwhelming most of the time.

Still, the tiny seed of an idea had somehow planted itself in her mind, and Padma found herself glancing over to the Gryffindor table more and more often, only to feel her insides go soft when she pinpointed him. She had begun to notice the way Lavender Brown, her sister’s closest friend, would sometimes tease him or brush against him whenever the opportunity arose. Padma found herself looking at all the other Gryffindor girls with a critical eye, in addition to mentally cataloguing Seamus’ habits and mannerisms. Padma was a habitual observer, but she knew she was bordering on lunacy when she started critiquing Ginny Weasley’s behaviour. If there had ever existed someone more devoted to a boyfriend, or not-boyfriend as it were, she couldn’t envision it.

On her way to the library after a particularly challenging Potions class, Padma felt a sudden thrill of energy course down her spine just before someone grabbed her hand and tugged her into passageway hidden by a tapestry. Spinning around, she was a mixture of startled, pleased and nervous to see Seamus grinning at her.

“You didn’t shriek the way I had expected,” he quipped with a small pout. “Get pulled into hidden passageways often?”

She let out a small, slightly nervous, chuckle and shook her head. “No, but somehow I think I knew it was you.”

His eyebrows lifted at her comment. “You are feeling it then. I had thought it was just me.”

“You’ve been sensing spells and things, haven’t you?” she asked in surprise.

“For weeks now. I thought I was crazy until our duel in class the other day. That was unreal. Since then I’ve been trying to figure out what’s been going on,” he told her.

She nodded, some of her nerves easing as her mind began to quickly revisit the ideas she had considered. “I had thought it might have been something to do with the healing, but I’ve opened chakras on several other people now, and nothing like this has happened with anyone else.”

His eyes clouded for a brief moment, and he reached a hand up to brush her cheek. “I never said thank you for that.”

“Perhaps you shouldn’t. I could just as easily have landed you in the closed ward at St. Mungo’s,” she said sadly, turning away from the delightful shiver his touch had brought. “Even now, my memory is still very hazy about it all.”

Seamus grabbed her hand, keeping her from pulling away further. “Pain may have distorted my memory somewhat, but I do recall you warning me and me telling you to try anyway. Besides, the result was more than good and has benefited others, so a thank you is in order.”

“You’re welcome, I guess,” she said, blushing and looking at the floor. Not normally the insecure type, she was suddenly embarrassed and self conscious.

“I haven’t thanked you yet. This is a proper thank you,” he told her cheekily as he tugged her close to him and dropped a kiss on her lips.

Instead of being light and playful as she might have expected after his gentle teasing, his kiss was soft and sweet. After the initial surprise, Padma laced her fingers through his and let herself ease against him. The slide of his rough fingertips across her cheek brought back same thrill they had when he first pulled her behind the tapestry and she shivered. Seamus smiled against her lips and pulled back slightly, looking down at her warmly. “Thank you for healing me, Padma.”

A thought occurred to her when he said her name and she couldn’t stop herself from asking, “How did you know it was me? Not now, I mean when I came up to your dormitory. I was wearing Parvati’s clothes, but you used my name.”

His warm smile broadened into a wide grin. “I could tell you, but you’d probably slap me.”

She furrowed her brow. “What was it? I’m glad when people can tell us apart, so I’m unlikely to slap you for it.”

“My face was so swollen I could barely get my eyes open and when I do, there in my line of vision was long, black hair and a nice rack. It couldn’t have been anyone else,” he told her, grinning mischievously at her stunned expression.

Seamus dropped a quick kiss on her forehead, then darted out of the passageway before Padma could recover. As she watched the tapestry swing back in place, she asked aloud, “What just happened?”

No answer came, nor did she expect one to, but the question stayed in her mind for the rest of the day.

***

Despite the peculiar connection that had formed between them, Padma found herself surprised each time she was pulled into random broom closets and hidden passageways, now with increasing frequency. Seamus would be standing there wearing his customary wide grin, which made his mouth seem almost too big for his face, his pale blue eyes dancing with amusement and his sandy blond hair falling haphazardly around his face. It was becoming increasingly difficult not to fall to pieces when she saw that face looking down at her. Sometimes he would have a reason for dragging her aside, like cautioning her about a provoked Death Eater on a quest for vengeance, but more often his sudden kidnappings were for no better reason than a chance to say hello and grin at her flustered reaction. Then, before she could get a word in edgewise, he would disappear as suddenly as he had arrived.

This continued for nearly two weeks before Padma finally managed to catch him before he slipped away. She gripped his hand firmly and tugged him back into the empty classroom, shaking her head at him. “Not so fast, Seamus.”

“What’s wrong?” he asked, the cheerful expression on his face falling.

“Nothing’s wrong, except I can’t walk from Charms to Potions without wondering if I’m going to be kidnapped into some dusty old classroom on my way,” she said with mild exasperation.

His shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry, Padma. I didn’t mean for this to get carried away.”

“What is this?” she asked, gesturing to the empty classroom. “I’m not upset, but I’m a little confused.”

He shrugged awkwardly. “I just thought it would be nice to not always meet up when someone was bruised or bleeding, especially me. Didn’t want you to think that’s all people want you around for.”

“I never thought that. I just happen to be in a different house. Though, I’ll admit it is nice to encounter you Gryffindors when you aren’t so grumpy,” she teased lightly.

He grinned halfheartedly back at her. “I’ll stop accosting you in the corridors. I meant for it to be amusing, not annoying.”

Summoning her meagre courage, Padma said, “You know, if you really wanted to meet up me, you could just make arrangements, like a normal person.”

“Are you calling me normal?” he asked with a small laugh.

“Not a chance,” she shot back with a small laugh of her own which sounded distressingly like a giggle.

His broad grin returned in full force, and Padma felt her stomach go squishy and warm. Playful banter was fun, but it was becoming nearly impossible to suppress her reaction to him. Despite the unusual start, her feelings for him were now very preoccupying. She had never spared much thought for boys in the past. There were a number in her house she knew quite well and talked to regularly and there were plenty throughout the school she noticed and found attractive, but finding a boyfriend had never been a priority to her. Padma had always been sure it would happen when it happened and there was no sense obsessing over it in the meantime. Parvati was always far more concerned about such matters than she was. Now, with her insides rapidly turning to mush and her higher thinking skills temporarily on vacation, Padma was at a complete loss. She was sure now would be a good time to make a move ... if she could just figure out what that move was.

Thankfully, Seamus spared her the trouble. “Well then, if I’m not normal, I suppose I’ll need some help. How should I go about making arrangements to meet you?”

“You could always just ask to meet somewhere after class. That seems like a fairly normal thing to do,” she suggested, her heart pounding wildly in her chest.

“Hmm, that does sound like a normal sort of thing. It’s not too cold out today. How about down by the lake?”

“Are you asking or throwing out normal ideas?” she asked, cringing inwardly as the words left her mouth.

“I’m asking, and hoping it passes your standards of normal.”

“I guess I’ll see you there after classes then.”

“Great. See you later,” he said, slipping out of the empty classroom in the blink of an eye.

Slowly, the off balance feeling began to fade and her racing heart slowed. She wasn’t any more certain about where she stood with him than she had been after his unexpected thank you kiss, but she was fairly confident something positive had just transpired. Her heart swelled with all manner of bubbly emotions as she ducked out of the dusty classroom and continued on her journey down to the Potions classroom.

***

Outside of the sanctuary she found in the Ravenclaw common room, the Hogwarts grounds were easily Padma’s favourite part of the school. The Black Lake sprawled across the valley; its inky depths contrasting with the steep cliffs of the mountains rising, sharply in some places, from the water’s edge. In the spring, the sloping path down from the main doors was like a regal carpet, done in rich green instead of red, and in the fall, the surrounding hillsides came alive with colour as the leaves changed. Most of the time, however, it was winter while she was here. The rugged Scottish hillsides were softer under the fluffy blanket of snow; the twisted branches of the leafless trees became encased in ice and glistened in the sun, and the castle looked more whimsical with its turrets and gargoyles dusted in snow and painted with frost. In the middle of all the bright white remained the dark secrets of the lake, and even in winter’s chill, the occasional tentacle of the giant squid could be seen rippling across the water. She had often wondered just what magic kept the surface of the lake from freezing in the coldest heart of the winter months, though she was fairly certain the merpeople had something to do with it.

Seamus had been right earlier when he said it wasn’t very cold out. The temperature was hovering close to freezing, making the snow clump under her feet and the small bits of snow she kicked up rolled down the hill making snowballs by themselves. The snow was heavy and wet, perfect for sculpting into creatures or making snowballs. Living in London, Padma hadn’t had much opportunity to play in such copious amounts of fresh snow when she was very small and like many students from the southern parts of the country, she had spent hours revelling in the snow her first few years here. She didn’t do so very often anymore, but she still enjoyed the simple pleasures of winter.

Finding a snow-covered boulder not far from the lake’s edge, Padma sat down, absentmindedly making snowballs with her bare hands. The chill from the snow was a shock at first, then her skin tingled as the surface of each orb melted in her fingers and trickled icy rivulets down the backs of her hands. She had brought gloves with her, but a snowball, in her mind, was more fully experienced when you used your bare hands.

A glance up the hill revealed another black-cloaked figure walking her way, occasionally slipping on the wet, packed snow of the path. When he got within earshot, Seamus called out a greeting, waving at her before promptly losing his balance and falling on his backside. Padma couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her and offered a belated warning. “Careful! The path is a bit slippery.”

Propping himself up on his elbows, one side of his mouth quirked. “You don’t say.”

The laughter was contagious, however, and Seamus joined in as he struggled to get back to his feet. He picked his way down the last part of the path slowly, grinning and chuckling as he went. Padma had nearly forgotten the snowball in her hand completely, but an icy tingle brought her attention to it. Testing its weight in her hands, she took aim and tossed it at Seamus as he came into range. The frozen missile hit him squarely in the chest, leaving chunky wet crystals behind as the bulk of it dropped to the ground.

He looked down at the wet circle on his front then back at her in surprise. “I think you’ve caught me at a disadvantage. Have you been waiting here to ambush me?”

She cast a glance at the small pile of snowballs she had made beside her and grinned. “Oops. That wasn’t my intention, no. I just like making snowballs.”

“A likely story,” he teased, scooping up a handful of snow and barely taking a moment to pack it before lobbing it in her direction.

After that, it was an open battle. Seamus surprised her a few times with precision wand work guiding his icy artillery and Padma made some solid freehand hits, but like their duel in Dark Arts class, it was more difficult than it should have been to get a hit. Nevertheless, there was plenty of flying snow. Between the snowballs which hit their mark and the falls from trying to avoid being hit it didn’t take long for both of them to become thoroughly soaked.

Seamus landed one last snowball as Padma slipped and fell. Coming over to help her up and call a truce, he extended a hand. When her fingers grabbed his, he gasped. “Yikes! Your hands are freezing! Why aren’t you wearing gloves?”

“My hands are cold, but they’ll be fine. A snowball isn’t as enjoyable if you can’t feel it with your fingers,” she explained.

“I never would have marked you for a purist,” he remarked.

She smiled widely. “Some things just have to be done properly.”

“True enough,” he agreed, helping her up on one of the larger rocks before pulling himself up to sit beside her.

Their backs were to the castle, and all Padma could see was the peaceful, snow-covered landscape. As wonderful as the castle looked in the winter, she wanted to forget it existed for a while. If the castle didn’t exist, then the people in it didn’t either, and she wouldn’t have to worry about Headmaster Snape, the Carrows or any of the other problems she faced inside those walls. It was nice not to think about it for a while. Instead, nearly all of her attention and awareness was focussed on the shoulder that was just slightly leaning against hers and the sounds of their breathing in the still winter air.

“I like it out here, Seamus, especially now. You can look out at the mountains and it’s like nothing is happening,” she observed.

He shifted beside her, tentatively putting an arm around her shoulders. “This won’t last forever. It may take longer than we’ll be in school for it to end, but it will end.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“I’m always right,” he said cheekily.

She laughed. “If you say so.”

“Of course I do. I was right that you liked my surprises in the hallways.”

“Did I actually say that?”

“You implied it.”

“Perhaps. That hardly makes you always right.”

“I can always tell you and your sister apart. I’m always right about that.”

“And your methods are so flattering, too,” she said sarcastically.

“Hey, I did say it was a nice rack. Isn’t that flattering?”

“As a key feature of identification? Not really.”

“I was wounded! Give a bloke a break. There’s lots of other ways to tell you two apart.”

She looked at him sceptically. “Such as?”

“Well, beyond obvious things like your house ties, there’s your nose. I think Parvati must have done some crazy spell on hers to make it turn up more or something, but your noses are definitely not the same. You don’t have so much stuff on your face you’re afraid to touch it because it might smear and I can’t smell you coming halfway down the hall because you don’t wear perfume. One shoulder is higher than the other most of the time from carrying heavy books in your bag and you almost always have your hair tied back. Is that enough to say I’m always right?”

Padma was stunned. They were all observations she was used to making, but it was surprising to know someone else had paid enough attention to notice them as well. “That’s impressive,” she told him honestly.

“I live to surprise you.”

“You seem to be doing well with that lately.”

“I like you, Padma. I mean, really like you. I’m sure I’m messing this up completely, but I think you’re pretty and kind and clever and I’ve been acting like an total arse for weeks now, ‘cause I’m pants at this kind of stuff.”

Seamus had pulled away his arm and was looking out across the lake, careful to avoid her eyes. The thought-stealing, panic-inducing feelings, she had been overwhelmed by so many times recently, returned, but instead of churning in her stomach, it settled there, sweet and warm like a dollop of hot butterscotch. She reached over and separated his nervously wringing hands, then laced her bare fingers with his damp, wool-covered ones. Taking a deep breath, she squeezed his hand and admitted, “For a very brief moment last week, I was jealous of Ginny when you two were laughing together at breakfast. I’m not very good at this, either.”

His embarrassed grin softened and he settled more closely against her. He brought at slightly scratchy, damp, glove-covered hand to her face and brushed his fingers across her cheek then rested his forehead against hers. Their warm breath mingled and swirled between them. Tipping her head up slightly, Padma bumped her nose awkwardly against his for a moment. They both blushed and she could see a sparkle of amusement dance across his sky blue eyes. Tilting her head, she captured his lips and closed her eyes to take in all the other sensations. It felt like the tingling sensation of a snowball melting in her hands. It smelled like damp wool and fresh snow. It tasted like cinnamon and hot chocolate. It was all of winter, distilled into a kiss.

Pulling back, she saw a contented expression of Seamus’ face, all his cares lifted from his countenance. The breath from his words danced across her cheek. “We could be not very good at this together, couldn’t we?”

“It sounds like an excellent idea,” she replied, reaching up to kiss him again.

***

Part VI