Why is this so hard. Still crying and it's been a month. Why am I so reluctant to accept that you feel nothing for me? Why is it so hard for me to grasp that you are just as I thought you were to begin with, before I was a biased opinion. I can't believe you are the heartless asshole you appear to be..it's just too easy to write you off and yet ( Read more... )

Relationships are quite possibly one of the most incomprehensive and at times simply cruel pressures in life. Te idea of an emotionally charged over-analyzing female requiring an equal level of communication and understanding from the average, simplistic and compassion-inapt male is ridiculous in the best light when looked at through a lens of ( Read more... )

I live in a circle, remaking and rebreaking the same relationships, the same insufferable cruelties inflicted each and every time with gaining enthusiasm. I live in a listless time warp, lost between what I have done and what I will become; yet circles gain no ground and I am not making any distance; here and here and back again. Lately I have ( Read more... )

If you got the chance to ask God one undeniable question about your own life, what would your question be?

I would ask whether I am going to be remembered for generations after my death.
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Huh. I never found out who my mystery livejournal poster was. Unfortunately in the time spent since those conversations and I have found more of whom I believe to be and even more unfortunate, I have liked little to none of the passage to this point and the road-marks along the way were even more detestable. I hate who I've become, I wish only to ( Read more... )

Being unhappy all the time is a bitch.
I wish I knew what you were thinking, or perhaps why I even like you.

My God. I am falling, in the worst kind of way and no one seems to be noticing.

this body is a prison. I am trapped here; this town, this brain, these walls. This body is a prison and my lack of lust for breath is a abar amon maay, a tool to hold my hooves from planting on less trodden grounds. A bar among many, a sould which has stolen from what once had the chance to be and has failed to make anything with it. I have ( Read more... )

Honestly, think about it. We are all people, but we all hold such a profoundly different memory of how life has chiseled away at us. All the places I remember, each layout slightly off, odd in a way that makes me unable to forget. And you, as well. You are unable to forget. We are all forgettable unforgiving machines, remembering nothing and ( Read more... )

I have been so many people, had so many friends. Different values, different entertainment, humor, environment, appearance. I want to be those people again, I'm tired of who I've become.

What makes me what I am is what helps me escape it. I cannot stop; I cannot change.