I have had a growing "like" for you over this last year and two months, and reading this blog confirms what I already was feeling. You are an awesome man and I hope to continue our friendship/relationship even when there's no one young here for you to come and see.
Re: Back to bloggingghiouhOctober 6 2006, 23:00:37 UTC
"The point is that all we have to do is to be willing and live our lives until the call comes. In fact, you may have already done "great things" without recognizing them.
I believe that your path will be revealed to you in due time and you will look back and see the the purpose in all that has gone before."
I hear this, and i ave this knowledge, but at this time my desire for something, some reason or purpose, even be it me wanting to become a go-go dancer, is what my heart wants.
I often repeat this to myself when I notice that I don't even KNOW any non-Christians, much less am I reaching out and doing great things: "In lesser times God used greater men. In greater times God will use lesser men for His glory." - Michael Wells
As for the wife thing - I know I made a stupid comment one time about how it is all different when you get to the ohter side (which it is, but that is not really the point, is it). The truth is, I have spent many, many, many a miserable hour wishing I had what all of my friends had in the way of a boyfriend. I wish I could go back and just enjoy those times with my friends, but I know that I couldn't have changed my perspective even if I wanted to. All this is to say, I know it hurts and I hear you.
You looked like God, with nothing but moonshine and a dark sky behind you. Your body stood tall against the wind. I lay looking up at you, feeling as though I'm shooting through all of the empty space towards the universe. Gravity was non-existent, there was nothing to keep me on earth. I am earth.
As we looked over the city it felt as though we were looking down at the world. The world exists for only that moment. Everything that's happened since the beginning has influenced time to fall exactly into place; and its only purpose- to make that night possible.
I accepted death and the end to all existence. I waited for buildings to crumble, for the ground to break in two. Every piece and every second of this time was real, the most real emotion I've ever experienced. Today and everything following is false.
Waking up came as a shock. I lost a part of myself last night, but perhaps I've gained something greater. We simply exist.
Comments 7
Aunt L.
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I believe that your path will be revealed to you in due time and you will look back and see the the purpose in all that has gone before."
I hear this, and i ave this knowledge, but at this time my desire for something, some reason or purpose, even be it me wanting to become a go-go dancer, is what my heart wants.
I want a want...
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I have been somewhat haunted by "The Men Who Don't Fit In" by Robert W Service.
(I have it if you want to read it)
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As for the wife thing - I know I made a stupid comment one time about how it is all different when you get to the ohter side (which it is, but that is not really the point, is it). The truth is, I have spent many, many, many a miserable hour wishing I had what all of my friends had in the way of a boyfriend. I wish I could go back and just enjoy those times with my friends, but I know that I couldn't have changed my perspective even if I wanted to. All this is to say, I know it hurts and I hear you.
Reply
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As we looked over the city it felt as though we were looking down at the world. The world exists for only that moment. Everything that's happened since the beginning has influenced time to fall exactly into place; and its only purpose- to make that night possible.
I accepted death and the end to all existence. I waited for buildings to crumble, for the ground to break in two. Every piece and every second of this time was real, the most real emotion I've ever experienced. Today and everything following is false.
Waking up came as a shock. I lost a part of myself last night, but perhaps I've gained something greater. We simply exist.
Reply
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