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[wini_fred]

I woke up feeling a dull panic and a tightness in my chest. I was just a dream.. just a dream.. I chanted this to myself over and over again as I climbed out of my bed and immediately felt that I needed to shower to wash all this stinky fear off of me. When I left my room I sudeenly felt so alone and so scared. I was not Illyria, that was for

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[visiongirl]

I was humming a little song to myself and trying to keep busy. The best way to keep busy? Cleaning. Oh yes, cleaning does wonders for my frame of mind, or lack thereof. I was worried about Buffy and Faith and yes, even Spike. Maybe I'd been too hasty in my attempts to get Faith to stake Spike. And hey, when Faith is the voice of reason? Something is so very definitely wrong.

So, I was cleaning. Folding sheets and bringing them into the different rooms of the Hyperion. I was in the hallway, my arms full of sheets when I heard Fred cry out from her room. Narrowing my eyes I walked to her door and knocked on it loudly.

"Fred?" I called, frowning and listening for a minute. "Are you OK in there?"

[wini_fred]

I open the door and see Cordelia on the other side. She looks concerned or aggravated or...

"Yeah.." I lie because the lie makes more sense and is easier to say than the truth. What am I supposed to say 'No I am loosing my mind, or maybe this is some side effect from when my body was hijacked by a god.. '. I just smile though and head to my room.

"Sorry I took a nap and I had a weird dream and.. you know me Fred being like Fred." I smirked hoping Cordelia would find this answer satisfactory.

[visiongirl]

Pursing the corners of my lips, I tried to give her a smile that turned more into a frown when I actually saw her. Fine? That was not what fine looked like. Fine was smiles and sunshine and...other fine things! Fine was not the look Fred was giving me, and trust me when I say I know that look. Vision girl here, remember? I spent years being in incredible amounts of pain. Glossing everything over with a shaky smile and a "I'm fine." That crap was so not gonna work on me.

"You just woke up in the shower?" I asked pointedly as I looked at the long dark wet hair. "What's wrong, Fred. You're not fine. That look? So not fine."

Come on, Fred. You're the only one I can count on anymore. At lesat make me feel a little needed around here. You know? Besides just being the girl that everyone loves to hate these days. Although you would think I'd be used to playing that role after my tenure at Sunnydale High.

[wini_fred]

Cordelia was not about to let this go no matter how I tried to dismiss this.

"I mean I did not wake up in the shower." I said forcing a small chuckle. "I woke up and felt weird so I thought a shower would be nice." I run my fingers through my hair trying to think of something to distract Cordelia.

"Hey I think we need to go shopping still." I then had a flash of Illyria in my mind and slowly I felt it happen. No, not now.. I can’t.. I looked at Cordelia and ran to my room. I could not bear her seeing me like this.. al blue and.. no.. not that.