Things I've Learned About Life, Vol. #4,081

[ghostfaceposta]

I don't actually have friends any more because I am a bad friend. It's my fault. There are a lot of good-hearted, generally-amazing people out there who cared... and I drifted away.

There are people who like me and care about me, but there's nobody I'd feel comfortable calling up to hang out or just listen if I'm having a rough time.

Comments

[deledrius]

You're probably not a bad friend. ;) Fault's kinda a false thing when it comes to friendrift. Unless you're doing outright terrible things to people (which I'm pretty certain you're not) the real enemy is just time. It changes people, and it oxidizes the little threads that connect us until they just rot away. The only way to avoid it is to be constantly weaving new ones, but that's simply not always a possibility even despite our best efforts.

Such is the nature of growing old.

[kireic]

Maybe it's because I'm the same way, but i don't think that's necessarily being a "bad" friend. Life just gets in the way. When you've got lots of time and your friends have lots of time, it's easy to say "let's get together and hang out" and just do it. Adult life throws so much in your way schedule-wise (at least in my experience) that things get tough - and that doesn't factor in distance, emotional needs, etc. Even now that we've moved to within about an hour of 2 really good college friends, we only see one of them maybe once a month, and the other we haven't seen at all because he's married with a child in school and tends to work weekends, so making time for each other is wicked hard.

tl;dr, adult life causes drift. It does suck. You're not a bad person because of this.