Writing style: accessibility vs style

[ghostfriendly]

Some wonderings about writing styles and feedback.

A recent reviewer for one of my stories said they enjoyed the plot, but felt the sentences structure was too convoluted and hard to understand. However, the most heartwarming reviews for that story, and another recent story have been from readers with english as a second language.

(Thanks very much

Comments

[cereswunderkind]

I think the old advice to Keep It Simple still holds good. Remember - you can build complex structures from basic components, like making a cathedral out of Lego.

It's a matter of rhythm, I think. Short, simple sentences move the action along while lengthy, convoluted sentences slow things down and force the reader to stop and construe what it is you're trying to get over.

As for dialogue, the trick is to find a vernacular that fits the character who's speaking (and his context.) Don't be afraid of using naturalistic speech - it's better than the opposite.

Hope this helps.

[ghostfriendly]

All sounds very good stuff to remember, thanks.

[sharikqah]

I'm not exactly sure what you're asking for, but I assume that you're trying to simplify your sentences without using your distinctive style

[ghostfriendly]

You're quite right, I'm aiming for sentences that are neither too bland or hard to understand. Your rules are very interesting; rule 2 sounds particularly effective. I'll try to use them as best as I can.

For dialogue, I normally assume that if it's got a decent rhythm to it an isn't too complex for the character, it's something that they might well say. If in doubt, I try to say it out loud myself.

Even if I've been writing for some time, I haven't gone at it very systematically. Writing from anime might have got me into some bad habits as well, such as using excessive dialogue over thoughts and descriptions, or trying to describe a picture in my own head rather than build one up in the reader's. I've got plenty to write anyway, so I'll do my best. Thanks a lot for commenting on so many posts.