Roche Limit
Title: Roche Limit
Pairing: Ohno Satoshi/Sakurai Sho
Rating/Warnings: A bit of crude language.
Summary: “It’s not like we’ve got big plans. Let’s drive around town holding hands.”
Notes: Entry for arashi-exchange and a gift for 64907 who gave such fun prompts to work with. Too bad that I need to write this during my worst breakdown in the year but at least it came out tolerable. Thank you so much, recipient, because if I had to write other pairs, I might have never gotten to finish. But it's Yama, my happy place, so I pursued until I reached an ending. Yay! ❤️💙 Unbetaed so I'm so sorry if there are errors. I tried my best to edit it myself hahaha.
If someone asked Sho why he did it, he’d say he had no time to refuse.
Exactly five days ago, Sho woke up to the sound of stones hitting his bedroom window. Sho remembered being quite thankful that whoever the person was outside wasn’t a sharpshooter or those stones would have ended up in his room, as his window was wide open to let the cool night air in. (Sometimes, he woke up naked with his head hanging from the window, but he rarely admitted that it happened often)
It was an incredible surprise to find Ohno Satoshi, his childhood friend whom he hadn’t seen in years, waving at him from below. He was the culprit and the evidence was still in his hands because Sho caught him when he was about to throw his fifth stone.
Sho hadn’t even realized how much he missed that sleepy smile. But there he was, curious about this person’s sudden reappearance.
Sho invited him in, of course, but Satoshi, without another word, skillfully climbs up to Sho’s window, using the nearby tree.
The sleepy smile morphed into a wide grin upon seeing Sho up close. “Hi,” Satoshi breathlessly greeted.
Sho greeted him back with an irate frown. He angrily whispers, “What the hell are you doing? It’s crap early in the morning. You’ll wake my neighbors up.”
Satoshi pursed his lips, as if guilty, and shyly said, “I haven’t seen you for fifteen years and this is how you will greet me? You really have changed, Sho.”
Fifteen years. It was then that it hit Sho how long it has been since they have parted ways. He was still in middle school then and he cringed as he remembered how he shamelessly cried in front of the Ohno’s house the day before they move. Satoshi’s parents were witnesses to his embarrassing ugly sobbing that went on for about an hour while Satoshi kept patting his head in a lame attempt to comfort.
The only thing that made him stop crying and eventually gain the strength to go back home was Satoshi’s firm promise, “I’ll come back, Sho-chan. Sooner than you’d expect.”
He wasn’t aware that Satoshi’s “sooner” would turn out to be fifteen years later.
“Don’t lecture me about changing. I wasn’t the one who made a promise and broke it,” Sho grumpily muttered under his breath, turning away from Satoshi to sit on his bed. He was surprised at his own bitterness over this broken promise years ago but if you only had one friend you trusted when you were a child, you’d probably want to believe in him with all your heart.
But Sho was convinced the pain of losing his friend was long gone. It came back ten folds when Satoshi showed up.
Satoshi must have heard his muttered response because he has strengthened his resolve to jump inside Sho’s room, but not without seeming a bit awkward. Sho lived in an apartment now, smack dab in the middle of the busy city, for his job. It was a far cry from their peaceful hometown but looking around, Satoshi thought this place suited Sho. Nothing was in place but it was definitely the room of a busy person. Newspaper pages were scattered on the floor, the desk was filled with folded clothes, and there was a bookshelf lined with books. In the silence, Satoshi heard the faint ticking of Sho’s wall clock, the muffled barks of a dog, and Sho’s dejected sighs.
“Sorry for dropping by at a weird time,” Satoshi said, suddenly embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to disturb your sleep and I know you’re busy…”
Sho did not raise his head, nor did he give any sign that he was listening. But Satoshi persisted and went on, “But I’m back! And I want to hang out with you again, just like before.”
His suggestion was met with silence. But Sho let out a sigh that signaled finality and asked, “What are we going to do?”
The grin was back on Satoshi’s face.
---
Five days later, Sho finds himself on the driver seat of a rented caravan they got on the way. Until today, it’s still a wonder how easily Satoshi made Sho give up his perfect work attendance to escape and go on an aimless adventure with him. All he knows is that Satoshi needs a licensed driver and Sho can’t help but surrender, because who knows when this person plans to disappear again.
They travel southbound. Sho put on the radio at a moderate volume while Satoshi soundly sleeps beside him. Sho insisted that Satoshi sleep on the makeshift bed inside the caravan but the guy refused to budge. Brushing off Sho, he curled up and immediately slipped into a quiet slumber.
If Sho hadn’t consumed espresso on the last stop, he would have envied Satoshi but he did and he is just filled with an inexplicable carefree feeling. It is a feeling foreign to Sho, being at peace, without caring what happens tomorrow, so assured of the road ahead. He cannot even blame Satoshi for taking him away from the city. It’s like he’s finally free from the shackles that kept holding him down.
---
Sho parks the caravan on the impressive wide free space, along with a number of other vehicles, who plan to stay a few nights before venturing on to the next town. They have been on the road for a week and so far, this has been the nicest place to stay. Most of the time, they hang out near the woods, and some things just do not sit right with Sho in those places.
Frankly, he’s just relieved to be surrounded by people. (Being alone with Satoshi is quite nerve-wracking at times)
Just parked directly beside their caravan is a Sedan in bright burgundy. The owners, a couple, are from the north. They like to travel the country when the time allows and they will never fail to do it together. They excitedly introduce themselves to Sho and Satoshi as soon as they descended from their vehicles.
Natsuki’s smile is as bright as the sun and her eyes sparkle like she’s made to bask in the summer. Her husband called Kenji, lingering loyally by her side, wraps an arm around her shoulders and grins boyishly at the two.
When the middle-aged couple asks about their relationship, Sho, who remains suspicious of the two’s motivation, jokingly tells them that he and Satoshi are lovers on a honeymoon, hoping against hope that the knowledge will put them off.
Contrary to what Sho expects, the couple starts gushing over the romance of it.
“So you haven’t been married for long?” Natsuki asks as they fall in line for food at the small burger joint, her cheeks a bright red.
Satoshi, without Sho’s prompt, hooks on to the game of make-believe. He smiles brightly, as if he’s filled to the brim with excitement and happiness, and says, “No. We just married a week ago and thought, well, isn’t this a nice time for a trip to nowhere? This guy,” he nudges Sho by the shoulder and chuckles, “invited me to escape our scheduled honeymoon in Italy at midnight. He carried me over his shoulder and took me around the country in his caravan.”
Satoshi slyly grins and leans closer to Natsuki and whispers conspiratorially, “He says he will not take me back unless we have marked every place we know.”
Natsuki squeals in delight. She smiles up at her husband and coos, “Honey, aren’t they sweet? I kind of want to do the same!”
A smirk crawled its way into Sho’s face when he realizes that Kenji is grimacing. This is going to be a long two days.
---
They keep up the charade because they will be staying in this deserted lot for a few days and this, Sho guesses, can be a little game. They’re strangers and it’s highly unlikely for their roads to meet again.
Unlike Sho who started this, Satoshi adjusts to their pretend relationship pretty well. Sho discovers then that Satoshi is particularly fond of random touches.
On their first morning at the lot, Natsuki and Kenji are busy with their barbecues and Satoshi brings their small table out. It’s a nice Sunday and the clouds cover the sun, while a light breeze blows from the west.
Satoshi can feel the couple’s eyes on them so he creeps up behind Sho, who is doing his best to prepare the meat for barbecue, and secures his waist with both of his arms. For effect, Satoshi nuzzles his back and murmurs, “They’re looking.” Puzzled, Sho pats the arms and resumes his preparation.
In the afternoon, Satoshi feeds Sho some cake that the couple brought along. Natsuki can’t seem to keep the smile off her face as she does the same for her husband.
Sho, although uncomfortable, figures it’s really good cake that he does not refuse being fed. (And he realizes Satoshi’s cuteness spikes when his mouth forms an ‘o’ before he shoves a spoon to Sho’s mouth)
Satoshi laughs at the icing left at the corner of his mouth.
--
Before long, the whole thing blows into a competition.
The couple can be competitive when it comes to their relationship. Natsuki throws looks of pure envy at Sho when Satoshi clings too much to him. She will do the same to her husband shortly after.
When Sho chances upon Satoshi away from the couple’s eyes, he leans in to whisper, “I want to annoy the hell out of the two.”
Satoshi tilts his head to the side in confusion.
“Let’s turn this into a game. The person who can make the two leave this lot before us can choose any food he wants and the loser has to go and buy it.”
“You have a deal.”
The deal is sealed with a firm handshake.
---
The couple are having breakfast when Satoshi descends from the caravan with a yawn. When he notices the two, he waves in greeting. Although hesitant, the two return the wave.
Sho follows with a huge yawn of his own, his arm automatically circling Satoshi’s waist.
Natsuki’s smile twitches at the corners. Sho inwardly pumps his fist in victory but to conceal his feelings, he pecks Satoshi on the cheek.
---
Rude noises interrupt their quiet night. Moans and disgusting sounds fill Sho’s head and he can’t sleep. Too bad Satoshi’s a heavy sleeper that he does not notice why Sho is pissed by morning.
“We are definitely getting back at them for last night.”
Satoshi should have been scared by that statement alone.
On the last night at the lot, Satoshi wonders why Sho is excited.
“We’re having sex.”
“Huh?”
“I mean we’ll make them think we’re having sex,” Satoshi’s face remains puzzled. Sho groans in frustration and says, “Just come here and do what I say.”
Reminiscent of the other couple’s risky adventures last night, Satoshi and Sho, with their combined efforts, rocked the caravan and made loud moaning and banging noises, for an added effect.
It’s safe to say that when morning came, Natsuki is in the worst mood and Kenji suffers under her constant glare.
--
They stretch the last thread of Natsuki’s patience at lunch on their last day.
Despite the obvious tension between them, Natsuki still graciously offers their food for sharing. She tries her hardest to have Kenji lovingly hold her but the guy is still tired from not having enough sleep last night.
Satoshi, however, takes his opportunity to sit on Sho’s lap, not minding the other free chair. This time, aside from feeding off the same plate using the same spoon, they keep each other at an intimate distance.
As if forgetting the presence of the couple with them, Satoshi leans in for a kiss.
Sho, reminded of the competition, responds with passion and hungrily meets Satoshi’s fervent kisses. Before long, Natsuki snaps and walks off, shouting at Kenji to get a move on.
The two stay lost in each other.
--
They’re under the sleeping bags with only the moon as company when Satoshi suddenly says:
"I’m sorry that I got way too into playing house and accidentally kissed you passionately.”
Despite his apology, Sho does not hear a hint of remorse in his tone. In fact, Satoshi even sounded amused.
With his eyes closed, Sho scoffs in disbelief and whispers, “Dumbass.”
“Sho?”
“Hm?”
“Who won?”
“I don’t know but I’m pretty sure it’s not that tacky couple.”
“Cheers.”
---
Her name is Minami. She likes to chew gum for a long time until it turns stale inside her mouth. She works as a receptionist in the dingy motel in the middle of an almost deserted town.
Sho approaches her as Satoshi lugs their bags directly behind. After two days at the lot, they finally hit the road again.
“Two rooms, please.” Sho asks.
“Two?” is Satoshi’s baffled reaction. “Sho-chan, this isn’t what we talked about in the car.”
“This is just for a night, Satoshi.”
“But you told me we’ll stay in one room with two beds so you won’t feel uncomfortable.”
“No, I didn’t. We did not even talk about staying at a motel. We’re doing this so we can both shower and you can properly pee in peace.”
At Sho’s blatant dismissal, Satoshi pouts and stomps away. “I’m going to the bathroom!”
Minami chooses to intervene then. “Um, sir? There are no two available rooms.”
“What?” Sho asks, obviously still distracted by the previous conversation.
“There are no available rooms for tonight. One is occupied by a man who hasn’t been home for weeks. The premium rooms are reserved for a group of mountaineers who arrived a few minutes earlier than you. There’s only one room left and it only has a single bed. Will you take it or not?” She does not need to waste time on these two when this might be her peak for the week.
Sho pulls on his collar and accepts defeat with a bow of his head. “I’ll take it. Is there air-conditioning?”
Minami nods.
Silence fills the time as Sho waits for Satoshi.
“I apologize if I’m being quite presumptuous but you aren’t romantically involved with that person, are you?” Minami asks, just to fill in the awkward air.
“No,” Sho hesitantly replies. After a serious thought, he sighs, “I plan to confess, though.”
The receptionist perks up and smiles, “Eh, really?”
Sho leans over the glass counter and with a finger to his mouth, he shushes the gossip-hungry Minami.
---
The thing with half-lies is that you will suddenly realize how much truth it holds.
Sho does not know what prompted him to say that.
The single bedroom is enough space for them. It’s not like they haven’t been sleeping on the same bed for days.
Satoshi calls dibs on the shower before Sho. Sho makes himself comfortable on the bed, his upper body leaning on the headboard. When Satoshi finishes, Sho immediately runs for the shower.
After all the pre-preparation has been done, they lay side by side on the bed, their fingers almost, but not quite, touching.
---
“Hey, Sho-kun.”
“Mmm?”
“I’m bored.”
“I’m sleepy.”
“But Sho-kun…”
“…”
“…are you sleeping?”
“…What do you want?”
Sometimes, instinct prompts you to do things you would not normally do.
And Sho, basically, always acts on instinct.
In the next few minutes, their lips are locked in a bout of lazy kissing. Sho swoops in and captures Satoshi’s puckered lips back after he has gathered a lungful of air. Satoshi gives as much as he receives, responding with as much passion as he can.
“This is addicting,” Sho murmurs, preoccupied with punctuating each word with kisses. Satoshi’s eyes are closed but he eagerly sighs and lets Sho ravish him until he’s satisfied.
Satoshi climbs over Sho’s lap, consequently bringing both of his slender arms around Sho’s neck. A slight pause allows them to breathe and drink in the sight of each other with lips puffed from kissing, and eyes hazed with plain desire.
Satoshi holds Sho’s face between his hands. Sho’s eyes are fixated on Satoshi’s small bow of lips. In a single beat, they meet each other halfway and resumes making out.
When Satoshi’s heart starts beating a steady, but hastened thudding in his chest, he opens his eyes.
The air-conditioning works perfectly fine but in the middle of the night, the room turns gradually into early winter. Sho wakes up to unpack their sleeping bags and put them over their shared blanket.
Underneath the warmth of the sleeping bags, Satoshi blindly searches before finally touching the tips of Sho’s fingers. They do not twitch at first contact so Satoshi lets out a breath before linking his fingers with his.
Sho, on the other hand, stays awake. He listens to Satoshi’s somber breathing in time with his own.
Sleep comes naturally. They stay close, hands intertwined, Sho’s forehead against Satoshi’s, and their lips just inches apart.
---
The first stop at the expressway is a convenience store.
Behind the counter is a bored looking lanky guy in his mid-twenties, punching holes on a potato chip bag. His feet are propped on top of the counter, he makes an annoying gurgling sound at the back of his throat as a habit, and his work hat covers most of his face.
He peeks from under the brim of his hat at the two arguing guys by the ice cream section.
“This is the reason why I don’t trust you with strangers, Satoshi.”
“I did not give her our phones. She took them!”
“But you let her in without questions! She’s a receptionist, for fuck’s sake. She’s not your roommate.”
“Why are you even shouting at me? I don’t see why you have to fuss over your phone. No one calls you anyway!”
“That’s my personal phone! All my friends’ contacts are in there! If she calls anyone from my contacts and tells them I’m dead, I’m blaming you.”
The shouts grow nearer but they must have noticed him because they pause. The boy pretends he has not been eavesdropping.
Satoshi and Sho drops their items on the counter with identical smiles. The boy shrugs in indifference.
---
The guy is funny, Sho thinks, as he continues to drink while the man rambles on through another funny anecdote of his life.
“What do you do, young man? Are you from around here?”
“No, not really. I’m from the city. Just drove for a vacation.”
“Really. How grand. I wish I could do that,” the man sighs dreamily.
“It’s a tough job. But I miss working, you know. I miss the city and the people and great food and Friday night drinking sessions. I even miss my pile of papers that I still need to go through as soon as I go back.”
Satoshi can see the smile light up Sho’s face. He feels guilty. Sho should have said something. If he really wanted to go home, he should have said so. Satoshi would understand.
He does not want to sleep beside Sho that night. But who is he kidding?
---
Satoshi cannot sleep, even if he tries to. He is beginning to think it is a bad idea to make Sho eat all of the leftovers before bedtime.
At quarter to twelve midnight, Satoshi hears more than he feels the movement at his feet.
“Satoshi? What if the bears are lurking somewhere near and are just waiting for the right time to attack?”
Sho remains agitated.
“Satoshi, hey, I think I can hear them. The leaves are rustling. Satoshi!"
Satoshi’s brows crease in frustration but he refuses to open his eyes and respond to Sho’s imaginations.
“Satoshi, I can’t sleep. It’s your fault for telling that old tale about the lady in black before bedtime. Take responsibility."
Satoshi feels the persistent nudges to his spine before gradually slowing to a stop.
“Satoshi. I can feel someone…or something moving. Satoshi, please."
“Satoshi, can I scoot over to your side? I won’t take your space much…I just figure maybe we’ll be less scared if we’re within touching distance with each other."
To see a glimpse of Sho from fifteen years ago resurface makes Satoshi smile as he gathers the guy close. He has grown a lot, but that doesn’t mean he has changed that much. He’s still the same Sho, Satoshi thinks. He’s just bigger now…and can handle things on his own.
This Sho can live without me.
---
The next day, Satoshi avoids Sho for the most part.
Even when Sho tries to initiate conversation, Satoshi will calmly and silently respond. Something is definitely off.
“Sho.”
They’re eating by a campfire. Satoshi’s voice is so quiet, Sho thinks he must have imagined it.
“Let’s go home.”
Sho drops the tongs by the camp fire and sighs out loud. “Tomorrow,” he declares with conviction.
It takes Sho a second before he gathers all of his courage to go back inside the car, barely restraining himself from locking it up. They’re going back. Tomorrow, Sho has decided. Once inside, Sho pulls on his hair in frustration and dives headfirst into the bed. If he’s not in the worst mood right now, he’ll probably realize that he has anticipated this from Satoshi.
Meanwhile, Satoshi picks up the discarded tongs and starts poking at the dying embers on the bottom of the campfire. He rests his chin on top of his crossed arms and wonders how things will be once they’re back.
When he starts to get sleepy, Satoshi drags his heavy feet into the caravan, crawls beside Sho on the bed, and scoots closer until he has his nose against Sho's collarbone. Sho does not move and Satoshi takes it as an open invitation.
---
Morning comes and Sho is nowhere when Satoshi wakes up. Satoshi’s brief thought is that Sho is in search for food. He’s incredibly responsible about important things like that.
After fixing the bed, Satoshi goes out and stretches under the sun. It’s a nice day and he hopes Sho will be as nice.
What seemed to be a few hours pass and Satoshi feels the slightest panic creep into his skin.
“Where did that idiot go?” he grumbles.
Brushing off his pants, Satoshi, with an incomparable frown on his face, goes on a search for Sho. They’re in the middle of the woods and if the guy plans to sulk in solitude, this is no place to be doing it.
---
When Sho comes back to their site from his fruitful food hunt, Satoshi is gone.
Sho is not the type to run away from misunderstandings. However, he likes to start off with a full stomach, first and foremost. He tries calling out for Satoshi but he seems to be nowhere near their site.
He brushes off his pants and with a bit of grumbling, goes on a search for Satoshi.
--
He tries calling for Sho.
Echoes return his call. He pretends he does not feel the itch to just wail in despair. He does not want this. He sits on a protruding rock and hugs his legs to his chest. He wishes Sho realizes he’s gone and the guy will come looking for him and he will hug Satoshi in relief and they’ll be okay again.
But that’s just baseless wishful thinking.
With his sharpened senses over the silence of the woods, he hears a rustle nearby. Like someone’s approaching stealthily.
“Who’s there?” Satoshi tries to keep the trembling out of his voice.
The rustling resumes and Satoshi stands in alert. Another sound disturbs his peace and he is suddenly reminded of Sho’s fears last night.
Scary stories. Bear in the woods.
In a strike of panic, Satoshi runs and swiftly climbs the nearest tree. Once he has secured a place in the branches, he looks down and whimpers at the sight of a wild boar rushing past the tree he’s on.
Before he can sigh in relief, he hears a familiar voice call, “Satoshi! Where the hell are you?”
In his shock, he slips on the branch and falls off the tree with a loud thud. He winces in pain when he feels the graze in his leg.
Satoshi tries to pull himself up but he can’t move his injured leg.
“Satoshi!”
Sho arrives at the most opportune time. Satoshi keeps wincing through the pain, fighting back the tears that are threatening to escape his eyes.
Without saying a word, Sho offers his back to Satoshi so he can carry him back to the caravan.
This is why he has come to like Sho, even before. His anger does not stand in the way of his desire to help anyone in need. Satoshi’s thankful but he can’t seem to put it into words.
Fifteen minutes of walking and Satoshi frowns. “Sho? Do you know where you’re going? I was not far off from our campsite.”
“In my rush to get to you, I sort of forgot to track my steps,” Sho admits sheepishly. Satoshi can almost imagine the shy wince he had on his face. Without asking, he tightens his hold around Sho’s neck partly because he does not want to slide down his back and partly to keep Sho close while he still has the chance.
“So how do you plan to get back?" Satoshi murmurs against Sho’s cheek.
“By luck?" Sho chuckles.
Satoshi’s reply is a cheek against Sho’s neck and a hum to signal him to go forward. He wishes he could stay like this forever.
He fervently wishes he and Sho can stay.
---
Satoshi wants to offer to take the wheel but since he does not have a license or any driving experience, he shoots down the idea before it even bubbles to the surface.
Sho cleaned his injury before they drove off. He does not utter any word, quite unusual for talkative Sho. Satoshi’s grateful all the same.
He can see Sho’s tight grip on the steering wheel, making his veins pop out. As much as he wants to take the guy’s hand for comfort, he reiterates that he can’t. He has taken Sho away from everything without considering his career, his future, and his life before Satoshi came stumbling back.
Guilt is an ugly feeling and it eats at his chest. He curls into a ball in the passenger seat, facing away from Sho.
---
Satoshi wakes up for the fourth time and he spots a familiar tree for the third time. He’s certain it’s the same tree because beside it, a spotted dog sleeps.
Momentarily forgetting about their spat, Satoshi whispers, “Haven’t we been on this road for hours?”
“No,” Sho vehemently denies.
He knows the road, he does, but…
“I’m driving you back home.”
Satoshi stares at his feet and nods once. Sho veers at the next corner.
They’re really going back, huh?
---
Sho is back to his old self.
He’s thankful for still having his job back. He smiles like he hasn’t been away for weeks. He jumps back into his hectic schedule and fills in the gaps in his to-do list. He hangs out with his co-workers but he has never tried to contact Satoshi even once. He figures this should be how things are.
--
Satoshi feels his heart clench in retrospect. He honestly thinks they’re okay. Sho said so when they went back.
“See you around, Satoshi,” were Sho’s last words to him before they parted. Sho even grinned at him, with his hands in his pockets, and Satoshi waved him goodbye.
Surely, that meant they were on good terms…right?
But Satoshi has not asked for Sho’s contact number. He can’t reach him anywhere. The guy did not even mention his mail address, not once. He did not even mention if he has SNS accounts. They parted ways without even discussing future communication.
Maybe Sho hates him now, who knows?
--
A month passes in a blink of an eye.
Sho spaces out in the middle of the day, staring out the window with his chin leaning on his hands.
“Sakurai-san? Are you listening to me?” Matsumoto, a colleague, asks while waving his chopsticks at him. The guy brought a platter of sushi from three floors down just to make him stop working and eat lunch. To appreciate his efforts, Sho sighs and grabs for the other pair of chopsticks to start.
Shoving a whole sushi in his mouth, Sho goes back to contemplating.
How is he? Is he eating well?
Why am I even worrying about him? He’s older than me. He can take care of himself.
Sho frowns as he continues to eat.
“Sakurai-san, I’m beginning to think vacations are bad for you,” Matsumoto remarks.
Sho is jolted out of his reverie. “What? Why?”
“Because you’ve changed. It’s like the few days off sucked you dry of energy,” his colleague jokes.
Sho does not laugh. Instead, he tries to recall when he realized the same thing.
Oh. It’s when he finally returned the caravan and arrived at his abandoned apartment that same night. He hasn’t been the same since.
---
Sho calls his parents for the first time in months and the first thing they hear from him is, “Have you seen Satoshi?”
“Satoshi?” his mother chuckles on the other line. “Ohno Satoshi? Your best friend?”
“Yes, have you seen him or heard anything from him? Anything?”
“No, I haven’t. The last time I heard from him was when he left fifteen years ago. You know, Sho, he told me he will definitely come back for you. That kid was so sweet. Why are you looking for him now?”
---
Two months. Sho has been looking for Satoshi for two months. But the guy sure does know how to leave without a sign. If he’s honest, he will admit he’s beginning to lose hope that he’ll ever find him.
Sho zips his bag close with resounding finality and takes one last look at his office before locking it up. To take his mind off Satoshi and the endless possibilities that they could have explored if only they hadn’t parted, he has been working nonstop, occupying his thoughts with work, work and more work. Thankfully, he’s good with distractions.
It’s when the sun sets and the office is finally quiet without anyone around that Sho’s thoughts stray back to Satoshi.
This night, in particular.
Sho enters the elevator and pushes the button for basement. He bets his car is the only one left.
Before the elevator doors close, a person comes rushing in, saying a quiet, “excuse me.”
The guy does not seem familiar at all. With Sho’s years in the company, he’s sure this person’s a newbie. He commends his hard work, though, for staying in the office until this time of night.
“I knew it.”
Sho’s brows furrow in confusion. “Excuse me?”
“Sho-kun is always the last one to leave the office. They do not pay you for the extra hours, you know,” Satoshi, in the flesh, grins at him over his shoulder.
Sho is rendered speechless by shock.
“I’m the graphic artist from five floors down. You don’t know how hard it is to restrain myself from seeing you. I’ve been working here for as long as you have. And I was right, you didn’t notice a thing. I actually delivered some projects for you earlier this week but you have been so busy that -”
Is it proper to shut someone up with a kiss?
Because Sho is determined to do it.
When the elevator chimes to signal their arrival at the basement, Sho blindly pushes a button and continues kissing Satoshi. The door closes behind them.
Pairing: Ohno Satoshi/Sakurai Sho
Rating/Warnings: A bit of crude language.
Summary: “It’s not like we’ve got big plans. Let’s drive around town holding hands.”
Notes: Entry for arashi-exchange and a gift for 64907 who gave such fun prompts to work with. Too bad that I need to write this during my worst breakdown in the year but at least it came out tolerable. Thank you so much, recipient, because if I had to write other pairs, I might have never gotten to finish. But it's Yama, my happy place, so I pursued until I reached an ending. Yay! ❤️💙 Unbetaed so I'm so sorry if there are errors. I tried my best to edit it myself hahaha.
If someone asked Sho why he did it, he’d say he had no time to refuse.
Exactly five days ago, Sho woke up to the sound of stones hitting his bedroom window. Sho remembered being quite thankful that whoever the person was outside wasn’t a sharpshooter or those stones would have ended up in his room, as his window was wide open to let the cool night air in. (Sometimes, he woke up naked with his head hanging from the window, but he rarely admitted that it happened often)
It was an incredible surprise to find Ohno Satoshi, his childhood friend whom he hadn’t seen in years, waving at him from below. He was the culprit and the evidence was still in his hands because Sho caught him when he was about to throw his fifth stone.
Sho hadn’t even realized how much he missed that sleepy smile. But there he was, curious about this person’s sudden reappearance.
Sho invited him in, of course, but Satoshi, without another word, skillfully climbs up to Sho’s window, using the nearby tree.
The sleepy smile morphed into a wide grin upon seeing Sho up close. “Hi,” Satoshi breathlessly greeted.
Sho greeted him back with an irate frown. He angrily whispers, “What the hell are you doing? It’s crap early in the morning. You’ll wake my neighbors up.”
Satoshi pursed his lips, as if guilty, and shyly said, “I haven’t seen you for fifteen years and this is how you will greet me? You really have changed, Sho.”
Fifteen years. It was then that it hit Sho how long it has been since they have parted ways. He was still in middle school then and he cringed as he remembered how he shamelessly cried in front of the Ohno’s house the day before they move. Satoshi’s parents were witnesses to his embarrassing ugly sobbing that went on for about an hour while Satoshi kept patting his head in a lame attempt to comfort.
The only thing that made him stop crying and eventually gain the strength to go back home was Satoshi’s firm promise, “I’ll come back, Sho-chan. Sooner than you’d expect.”
He wasn’t aware that Satoshi’s “sooner” would turn out to be fifteen years later.
“Don’t lecture me about changing. I wasn’t the one who made a promise and broke it,” Sho grumpily muttered under his breath, turning away from Satoshi to sit on his bed. He was surprised at his own bitterness over this broken promise years ago but if you only had one friend you trusted when you were a child, you’d probably want to believe in him with all your heart.
But Sho was convinced the pain of losing his friend was long gone. It came back ten folds when Satoshi showed up.
Satoshi must have heard his muttered response because he has strengthened his resolve to jump inside Sho’s room, but not without seeming a bit awkward. Sho lived in an apartment now, smack dab in the middle of the busy city, for his job. It was a far cry from their peaceful hometown but looking around, Satoshi thought this place suited Sho. Nothing was in place but it was definitely the room of a busy person. Newspaper pages were scattered on the floor, the desk was filled with folded clothes, and there was a bookshelf lined with books. In the silence, Satoshi heard the faint ticking of Sho’s wall clock, the muffled barks of a dog, and Sho’s dejected sighs.
“Sorry for dropping by at a weird time,” Satoshi said, suddenly embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to disturb your sleep and I know you’re busy…”
Sho did not raise his head, nor did he give any sign that he was listening. But Satoshi persisted and went on, “But I’m back! And I want to hang out with you again, just like before.”
His suggestion was met with silence. But Sho let out a sigh that signaled finality and asked, “What are we going to do?”
The grin was back on Satoshi’s face.
---
Five days later, Sho finds himself on the driver seat of a rented caravan they got on the way. Until today, it’s still a wonder how easily Satoshi made Sho give up his perfect work attendance to escape and go on an aimless adventure with him. All he knows is that Satoshi needs a licensed driver and Sho can’t help but surrender, because who knows when this person plans to disappear again.
They travel southbound. Sho put on the radio at a moderate volume while Satoshi soundly sleeps beside him. Sho insisted that Satoshi sleep on the makeshift bed inside the caravan but the guy refused to budge. Brushing off Sho, he curled up and immediately slipped into a quiet slumber.
If Sho hadn’t consumed espresso on the last stop, he would have envied Satoshi but he did and he is just filled with an inexplicable carefree feeling. It is a feeling foreign to Sho, being at peace, without caring what happens tomorrow, so assured of the road ahead. He cannot even blame Satoshi for taking him away from the city. It’s like he’s finally free from the shackles that kept holding him down.
---
Sho parks the caravan on the impressive wide free space, along with a number of other vehicles, who plan to stay a few nights before venturing on to the next town. They have been on the road for a week and so far, this has been the nicest place to stay. Most of the time, they hang out near the woods, and some things just do not sit right with Sho in those places.
Frankly, he’s just relieved to be surrounded by people. (Being alone with Satoshi is quite nerve-wracking at times)
Just parked directly beside their caravan is a Sedan in bright burgundy. The owners, a couple, are from the north. They like to travel the country when the time allows and they will never fail to do it together. They excitedly introduce themselves to Sho and Satoshi as soon as they descended from their vehicles.
Natsuki’s smile is as bright as the sun and her eyes sparkle like she’s made to bask in the summer. Her husband called Kenji, lingering loyally by her side, wraps an arm around her shoulders and grins boyishly at the two.
When the middle-aged couple asks about their relationship, Sho, who remains suspicious of the two’s motivation, jokingly tells them that he and Satoshi are lovers on a honeymoon, hoping against hope that the knowledge will put them off.
Contrary to what Sho expects, the couple starts gushing over the romance of it.
“So you haven’t been married for long?” Natsuki asks as they fall in line for food at the small burger joint, her cheeks a bright red.
Satoshi, without Sho’s prompt, hooks on to the game of make-believe. He smiles brightly, as if he’s filled to the brim with excitement and happiness, and says, “No. We just married a week ago and thought, well, isn’t this a nice time for a trip to nowhere? This guy,” he nudges Sho by the shoulder and chuckles, “invited me to escape our scheduled honeymoon in Italy at midnight. He carried me over his shoulder and took me around the country in his caravan.”
Satoshi slyly grins and leans closer to Natsuki and whispers conspiratorially, “He says he will not take me back unless we have marked every place we know.”
Natsuki squeals in delight. She smiles up at her husband and coos, “Honey, aren’t they sweet? I kind of want to do the same!”
A smirk crawled its way into Sho’s face when he realizes that Kenji is grimacing. This is going to be a long two days.
---
They keep up the charade because they will be staying in this deserted lot for a few days and this, Sho guesses, can be a little game. They’re strangers and it’s highly unlikely for their roads to meet again.
Unlike Sho who started this, Satoshi adjusts to their pretend relationship pretty well. Sho discovers then that Satoshi is particularly fond of random touches.
On their first morning at the lot, Natsuki and Kenji are busy with their barbecues and Satoshi brings their small table out. It’s a nice Sunday and the clouds cover the sun, while a light breeze blows from the west.
Satoshi can feel the couple’s eyes on them so he creeps up behind Sho, who is doing his best to prepare the meat for barbecue, and secures his waist with both of his arms. For effect, Satoshi nuzzles his back and murmurs, “They’re looking.” Puzzled, Sho pats the arms and resumes his preparation.
In the afternoon, Satoshi feeds Sho some cake that the couple brought along. Natsuki can’t seem to keep the smile off her face as she does the same for her husband.
Sho, although uncomfortable, figures it’s really good cake that he does not refuse being fed. (And he realizes Satoshi’s cuteness spikes when his mouth forms an ‘o’ before he shoves a spoon to Sho’s mouth)
Satoshi laughs at the icing left at the corner of his mouth.
--
Before long, the whole thing blows into a competition.
The couple can be competitive when it comes to their relationship. Natsuki throws looks of pure envy at Sho when Satoshi clings too much to him. She will do the same to her husband shortly after.
When Sho chances upon Satoshi away from the couple’s eyes, he leans in to whisper, “I want to annoy the hell out of the two.”
Satoshi tilts his head to the side in confusion.
“Let’s turn this into a game. The person who can make the two leave this lot before us can choose any food he wants and the loser has to go and buy it.”
“You have a deal.”
The deal is sealed with a firm handshake.
---
The couple are having breakfast when Satoshi descends from the caravan with a yawn. When he notices the two, he waves in greeting. Although hesitant, the two return the wave.
Sho follows with a huge yawn of his own, his arm automatically circling Satoshi’s waist.
Natsuki’s smile twitches at the corners. Sho inwardly pumps his fist in victory but to conceal his feelings, he pecks Satoshi on the cheek.
---
Rude noises interrupt their quiet night. Moans and disgusting sounds fill Sho’s head and he can’t sleep. Too bad Satoshi’s a heavy sleeper that he does not notice why Sho is pissed by morning.
“We are definitely getting back at them for last night.”
Satoshi should have been scared by that statement alone.
On the last night at the lot, Satoshi wonders why Sho is excited.
“We’re having sex.”
“Huh?”
“I mean we’ll make them think we’re having sex,” Satoshi’s face remains puzzled. Sho groans in frustration and says, “Just come here and do what I say.”
Reminiscent of the other couple’s risky adventures last night, Satoshi and Sho, with their combined efforts, rocked the caravan and made loud moaning and banging noises, for an added effect.
It’s safe to say that when morning came, Natsuki is in the worst mood and Kenji suffers under her constant glare.
--
They stretch the last thread of Natsuki’s patience at lunch on their last day.
Despite the obvious tension between them, Natsuki still graciously offers their food for sharing. She tries her hardest to have Kenji lovingly hold her but the guy is still tired from not having enough sleep last night.
Satoshi, however, takes his opportunity to sit on Sho’s lap, not minding the other free chair. This time, aside from feeding off the same plate using the same spoon, they keep each other at an intimate distance.
As if forgetting the presence of the couple with them, Satoshi leans in for a kiss.
Sho, reminded of the competition, responds with passion and hungrily meets Satoshi’s fervent kisses. Before long, Natsuki snaps and walks off, shouting at Kenji to get a move on.
The two stay lost in each other.
--
They’re under the sleeping bags with only the moon as company when Satoshi suddenly says:
"I’m sorry that I got way too into playing house and accidentally kissed you passionately.”
Despite his apology, Sho does not hear a hint of remorse in his tone. In fact, Satoshi even sounded amused.
With his eyes closed, Sho scoffs in disbelief and whispers, “Dumbass.”
“Sho?”
“Hm?”
“Who won?”
“I don’t know but I’m pretty sure it’s not that tacky couple.”
“Cheers.”
---
Her name is Minami. She likes to chew gum for a long time until it turns stale inside her mouth. She works as a receptionist in the dingy motel in the middle of an almost deserted town.
Sho approaches her as Satoshi lugs their bags directly behind. After two days at the lot, they finally hit the road again.
“Two rooms, please.” Sho asks.
“Two?” is Satoshi’s baffled reaction. “Sho-chan, this isn’t what we talked about in the car.”
“This is just for a night, Satoshi.”
“But you told me we’ll stay in one room with two beds so you won’t feel uncomfortable.”
“No, I didn’t. We did not even talk about staying at a motel. We’re doing this so we can both shower and you can properly pee in peace.”
At Sho’s blatant dismissal, Satoshi pouts and stomps away. “I’m going to the bathroom!”
Minami chooses to intervene then. “Um, sir? There are no two available rooms.”
“What?” Sho asks, obviously still distracted by the previous conversation.
“There are no available rooms for tonight. One is occupied by a man who hasn’t been home for weeks. The premium rooms are reserved for a group of mountaineers who arrived a few minutes earlier than you. There’s only one room left and it only has a single bed. Will you take it or not?” She does not need to waste time on these two when this might be her peak for the week.
Sho pulls on his collar and accepts defeat with a bow of his head. “I’ll take it. Is there air-conditioning?”
Minami nods.
Silence fills the time as Sho waits for Satoshi.
“I apologize if I’m being quite presumptuous but you aren’t romantically involved with that person, are you?” Minami asks, just to fill in the awkward air.
“No,” Sho hesitantly replies. After a serious thought, he sighs, “I plan to confess, though.”
The receptionist perks up and smiles, “Eh, really?”
Sho leans over the glass counter and with a finger to his mouth, he shushes the gossip-hungry Minami.
---
The thing with half-lies is that you will suddenly realize how much truth it holds.
Sho does not know what prompted him to say that.
The single bedroom is enough space for them. It’s not like they haven’t been sleeping on the same bed for days.
Satoshi calls dibs on the shower before Sho. Sho makes himself comfortable on the bed, his upper body leaning on the headboard. When Satoshi finishes, Sho immediately runs for the shower.
After all the pre-preparation has been done, they lay side by side on the bed, their fingers almost, but not quite, touching.
---
“Hey, Sho-kun.”
“Mmm?”
“I’m bored.”
“I’m sleepy.”
“But Sho-kun…”
“…”
“…are you sleeping?”
“…What do you want?”
Sometimes, instinct prompts you to do things you would not normally do.
And Sho, basically, always acts on instinct.
In the next few minutes, their lips are locked in a bout of lazy kissing. Sho swoops in and captures Satoshi’s puckered lips back after he has gathered a lungful of air. Satoshi gives as much as he receives, responding with as much passion as he can.
“This is addicting,” Sho murmurs, preoccupied with punctuating each word with kisses. Satoshi’s eyes are closed but he eagerly sighs and lets Sho ravish him until he’s satisfied.
Satoshi climbs over Sho’s lap, consequently bringing both of his slender arms around Sho’s neck. A slight pause allows them to breathe and drink in the sight of each other with lips puffed from kissing, and eyes hazed with plain desire.
Satoshi holds Sho’s face between his hands. Sho’s eyes are fixated on Satoshi’s small bow of lips. In a single beat, they meet each other halfway and resumes making out.
When Satoshi’s heart starts beating a steady, but hastened thudding in his chest, he opens his eyes.
The air-conditioning works perfectly fine but in the middle of the night, the room turns gradually into early winter. Sho wakes up to unpack their sleeping bags and put them over their shared blanket.
Underneath the warmth of the sleeping bags, Satoshi blindly searches before finally touching the tips of Sho’s fingers. They do not twitch at first contact so Satoshi lets out a breath before linking his fingers with his.
Sho, on the other hand, stays awake. He listens to Satoshi’s somber breathing in time with his own.
Sleep comes naturally. They stay close, hands intertwined, Sho’s forehead against Satoshi’s, and their lips just inches apart.
---
The first stop at the expressway is a convenience store.
Behind the counter is a bored looking lanky guy in his mid-twenties, punching holes on a potato chip bag. His feet are propped on top of the counter, he makes an annoying gurgling sound at the back of his throat as a habit, and his work hat covers most of his face.
He peeks from under the brim of his hat at the two arguing guys by the ice cream section.
“This is the reason why I don’t trust you with strangers, Satoshi.”
“I did not give her our phones. She took them!”
“But you let her in without questions! She’s a receptionist, for fuck’s sake. She’s not your roommate.”
“Why are you even shouting at me? I don’t see why you have to fuss over your phone. No one calls you anyway!”
“That’s my personal phone! All my friends’ contacts are in there! If she calls anyone from my contacts and tells them I’m dead, I’m blaming you.”
The shouts grow nearer but they must have noticed him because they pause. The boy pretends he has not been eavesdropping.
Satoshi and Sho drops their items on the counter with identical smiles. The boy shrugs in indifference.
---
The guy is funny, Sho thinks, as he continues to drink while the man rambles on through another funny anecdote of his life.
“What do you do, young man? Are you from around here?”
“No, not really. I’m from the city. Just drove for a vacation.”
“Really. How grand. I wish I could do that,” the man sighs dreamily.
“It’s a tough job. But I miss working, you know. I miss the city and the people and great food and Friday night drinking sessions. I even miss my pile of papers that I still need to go through as soon as I go back.”
Satoshi can see the smile light up Sho’s face. He feels guilty. Sho should have said something. If he really wanted to go home, he should have said so. Satoshi would understand.
He does not want to sleep beside Sho that night. But who is he kidding?
---
Satoshi cannot sleep, even if he tries to. He is beginning to think it is a bad idea to make Sho eat all of the leftovers before bedtime.
At quarter to twelve midnight, Satoshi hears more than he feels the movement at his feet.
“Satoshi? What if the bears are lurking somewhere near and are just waiting for the right time to attack?”
Sho remains agitated.
“Satoshi, hey, I think I can hear them. The leaves are rustling. Satoshi!"
Satoshi’s brows crease in frustration but he refuses to open his eyes and respond to Sho’s imaginations.
“Satoshi, I can’t sleep. It’s your fault for telling that old tale about the lady in black before bedtime. Take responsibility."
Satoshi feels the persistent nudges to his spine before gradually slowing to a stop.
“Satoshi. I can feel someone…or something moving. Satoshi, please."
“Satoshi, can I scoot over to your side? I won’t take your space much…I just figure maybe we’ll be less scared if we’re within touching distance with each other."
To see a glimpse of Sho from fifteen years ago resurface makes Satoshi smile as he gathers the guy close. He has grown a lot, but that doesn’t mean he has changed that much. He’s still the same Sho, Satoshi thinks. He’s just bigger now…and can handle things on his own.
This Sho can live without me.
---
The next day, Satoshi avoids Sho for the most part.
Even when Sho tries to initiate conversation, Satoshi will calmly and silently respond. Something is definitely off.
“Sho.”
They’re eating by a campfire. Satoshi’s voice is so quiet, Sho thinks he must have imagined it.
“Let’s go home.”
Sho drops the tongs by the camp fire and sighs out loud. “Tomorrow,” he declares with conviction.
It takes Sho a second before he gathers all of his courage to go back inside the car, barely restraining himself from locking it up. They’re going back. Tomorrow, Sho has decided. Once inside, Sho pulls on his hair in frustration and dives headfirst into the bed. If he’s not in the worst mood right now, he’ll probably realize that he has anticipated this from Satoshi.
Meanwhile, Satoshi picks up the discarded tongs and starts poking at the dying embers on the bottom of the campfire. He rests his chin on top of his crossed arms and wonders how things will be once they’re back.
When he starts to get sleepy, Satoshi drags his heavy feet into the caravan, crawls beside Sho on the bed, and scoots closer until he has his nose against Sho's collarbone. Sho does not move and Satoshi takes it as an open invitation.
---
Morning comes and Sho is nowhere when Satoshi wakes up. Satoshi’s brief thought is that Sho is in search for food. He’s incredibly responsible about important things like that.
After fixing the bed, Satoshi goes out and stretches under the sun. It’s a nice day and he hopes Sho will be as nice.
What seemed to be a few hours pass and Satoshi feels the slightest panic creep into his skin.
“Where did that idiot go?” he grumbles.
Brushing off his pants, Satoshi, with an incomparable frown on his face, goes on a search for Sho. They’re in the middle of the woods and if the guy plans to sulk in solitude, this is no place to be doing it.
---
When Sho comes back to their site from his fruitful food hunt, Satoshi is gone.
Sho is not the type to run away from misunderstandings. However, he likes to start off with a full stomach, first and foremost. He tries calling out for Satoshi but he seems to be nowhere near their site.
He brushes off his pants and with a bit of grumbling, goes on a search for Satoshi.
--
He tries calling for Sho.
Echoes return his call. He pretends he does not feel the itch to just wail in despair. He does not want this. He sits on a protruding rock and hugs his legs to his chest. He wishes Sho realizes he’s gone and the guy will come looking for him and he will hug Satoshi in relief and they’ll be okay again.
But that’s just baseless wishful thinking.
With his sharpened senses over the silence of the woods, he hears a rustle nearby. Like someone’s approaching stealthily.
“Who’s there?” Satoshi tries to keep the trembling out of his voice.
The rustling resumes and Satoshi stands in alert. Another sound disturbs his peace and he is suddenly reminded of Sho’s fears last night.
Scary stories. Bear in the woods.
In a strike of panic, Satoshi runs and swiftly climbs the nearest tree. Once he has secured a place in the branches, he looks down and whimpers at the sight of a wild boar rushing past the tree he’s on.
Before he can sigh in relief, he hears a familiar voice call, “Satoshi! Where the hell are you?”
In his shock, he slips on the branch and falls off the tree with a loud thud. He winces in pain when he feels the graze in his leg.
Satoshi tries to pull himself up but he can’t move his injured leg.
“Satoshi!”
Sho arrives at the most opportune time. Satoshi keeps wincing through the pain, fighting back the tears that are threatening to escape his eyes.
Without saying a word, Sho offers his back to Satoshi so he can carry him back to the caravan.
This is why he has come to like Sho, even before. His anger does not stand in the way of his desire to help anyone in need. Satoshi’s thankful but he can’t seem to put it into words.
Fifteen minutes of walking and Satoshi frowns. “Sho? Do you know where you’re going? I was not far off from our campsite.”
“In my rush to get to you, I sort of forgot to track my steps,” Sho admits sheepishly. Satoshi can almost imagine the shy wince he had on his face. Without asking, he tightens his hold around Sho’s neck partly because he does not want to slide down his back and partly to keep Sho close while he still has the chance.
“So how do you plan to get back?" Satoshi murmurs against Sho’s cheek.
“By luck?" Sho chuckles.
Satoshi’s reply is a cheek against Sho’s neck and a hum to signal him to go forward. He wishes he could stay like this forever.
He fervently wishes he and Sho can stay.
---
Satoshi wants to offer to take the wheel but since he does not have a license or any driving experience, he shoots down the idea before it even bubbles to the surface.
Sho cleaned his injury before they drove off. He does not utter any word, quite unusual for talkative Sho. Satoshi’s grateful all the same.
He can see Sho’s tight grip on the steering wheel, making his veins pop out. As much as he wants to take the guy’s hand for comfort, he reiterates that he can’t. He has taken Sho away from everything without considering his career, his future, and his life before Satoshi came stumbling back.
Guilt is an ugly feeling and it eats at his chest. He curls into a ball in the passenger seat, facing away from Sho.
---
Satoshi wakes up for the fourth time and he spots a familiar tree for the third time. He’s certain it’s the same tree because beside it, a spotted dog sleeps.
Momentarily forgetting about their spat, Satoshi whispers, “Haven’t we been on this road for hours?”
“No,” Sho vehemently denies.
He knows the road, he does, but…
“I’m driving you back home.”
Satoshi stares at his feet and nods once. Sho veers at the next corner.
They’re really going back, huh?
---
Sho is back to his old self.
He’s thankful for still having his job back. He smiles like he hasn’t been away for weeks. He jumps back into his hectic schedule and fills in the gaps in his to-do list. He hangs out with his co-workers but he has never tried to contact Satoshi even once. He figures this should be how things are.
--
Satoshi feels his heart clench in retrospect. He honestly thinks they’re okay. Sho said so when they went back.
“See you around, Satoshi,” were Sho’s last words to him before they parted. Sho even grinned at him, with his hands in his pockets, and Satoshi waved him goodbye.
Surely, that meant they were on good terms…right?
But Satoshi has not asked for Sho’s contact number. He can’t reach him anywhere. The guy did not even mention his mail address, not once. He did not even mention if he has SNS accounts. They parted ways without even discussing future communication.
Maybe Sho hates him now, who knows?
--
A month passes in a blink of an eye.
Sho spaces out in the middle of the day, staring out the window with his chin leaning on his hands.
“Sakurai-san? Are you listening to me?” Matsumoto, a colleague, asks while waving his chopsticks at him. The guy brought a platter of sushi from three floors down just to make him stop working and eat lunch. To appreciate his efforts, Sho sighs and grabs for the other pair of chopsticks to start.
Shoving a whole sushi in his mouth, Sho goes back to contemplating.
How is he? Is he eating well?
Why am I even worrying about him? He’s older than me. He can take care of himself.
Sho frowns as he continues to eat.
“Sakurai-san, I’m beginning to think vacations are bad for you,” Matsumoto remarks.
Sho is jolted out of his reverie. “What? Why?”
“Because you’ve changed. It’s like the few days off sucked you dry of energy,” his colleague jokes.
Sho does not laugh. Instead, he tries to recall when he realized the same thing.
Oh. It’s when he finally returned the caravan and arrived at his abandoned apartment that same night. He hasn’t been the same since.
---
Sho calls his parents for the first time in months and the first thing they hear from him is, “Have you seen Satoshi?”
“Satoshi?” his mother chuckles on the other line. “Ohno Satoshi? Your best friend?”
“Yes, have you seen him or heard anything from him? Anything?”
“No, I haven’t. The last time I heard from him was when he left fifteen years ago. You know, Sho, he told me he will definitely come back for you. That kid was so sweet. Why are you looking for him now?”
---
Two months. Sho has been looking for Satoshi for two months. But the guy sure does know how to leave without a sign. If he’s honest, he will admit he’s beginning to lose hope that he’ll ever find him.
Sho zips his bag close with resounding finality and takes one last look at his office before locking it up. To take his mind off Satoshi and the endless possibilities that they could have explored if only they hadn’t parted, he has been working nonstop, occupying his thoughts with work, work and more work. Thankfully, he’s good with distractions.
It’s when the sun sets and the office is finally quiet without anyone around that Sho’s thoughts stray back to Satoshi.
This night, in particular.
Sho enters the elevator and pushes the button for basement. He bets his car is the only one left.
Before the elevator doors close, a person comes rushing in, saying a quiet, “excuse me.”
The guy does not seem familiar at all. With Sho’s years in the company, he’s sure this person’s a newbie. He commends his hard work, though, for staying in the office until this time of night.
“I knew it.”
Sho’s brows furrow in confusion. “Excuse me?”
“Sho-kun is always the last one to leave the office. They do not pay you for the extra hours, you know,” Satoshi, in the flesh, grins at him over his shoulder.
Sho is rendered speechless by shock.
“I’m the graphic artist from five floors down. You don’t know how hard it is to restrain myself from seeing you. I’ve been working here for as long as you have. And I was right, you didn’t notice a thing. I actually delivered some projects for you earlier this week but you have been so busy that -”
Is it proper to shut someone up with a kiss?
Because Sho is determined to do it.
When the elevator chimes to signal their arrival at the basement, Sho blindly pushes a button and continues kissing Satoshi. The door closes behind them.