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[ghostxofxlies]

I feel like im gonna die of sadness sometimes. like now. i'm in the most apathetic mood that i wonder whether i'll ever be able to leave this chair or whether they'll just wheel me off a cliff in it. that could be something to do with the amount i drank last night though

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[ghostxofxlies]

yeah i know, but the feelings are already there.. just under the surface - the alcohol just brings them up.. and sometimes i think that's actually better, in some ways :/ Besides which, you know very well that i'm an alcoholic and to cut off my supply is the same as leaving me for dead! :p

Nah, only kidding... after this friday night i'm going on a detox.. Not just because of how it is making me feel but also the money factor... i blew my whole week's pay in two nights. I was thinking, if i were on pills i could do a cheaper night..

(this bit is gonna sound soppy and as much as i hate doing that im gonna say it anyway)... i'm so glad that we're friends, that we're so much alike (i know, that's SUCH an insult to you :p) and that you always seem to know what im going through and i do to you as well... Even if i dont take your advice (i will limit my drinking) i still love knowing that youre there and that you care.. so thanks <3