I'm not in Mississippi anymore as I sold myself to the Devil

[giazz_40]

*This is a fictional story for Bridgits_Flame just for fun all -about Robert Johnson (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Johnson_%28musician%29)

I was done and over with the gig that night when I decided to go walkin' home.  It was the shortest walk I ever had.

I decided that hitch-hikin' down the road wasn't too bad since it was pretty late

Comments

Editor :D

[openedlocket]

Hey, I'm openedlocket, your editor for Brigits_flame this week! I found your story very interesting, especially since you made it as a background story for a real person. I liked how you made good references in your story to his real life, making the facts on him here feel accurate. You also combined elements of fiction into this really well. Good job :D

I only have some grammatical edits to point out. It's up to you if you want to apply these suggestions, but I hope they help.

...it was the shortest walk I ever had.
You can start a new sentence here instead of using the ellipses.

...but I was wrong...very wrong
The first set of ellipses is unnecessary and the second one could be replaced with a coma, which is better suited for the sentence but will still have the effect of emphasis you want to achieve :D

...at that point a black Model T pulled over to the side of the road and a large man with dark hazel blue eyes asked me if I needed a rideYou can start a new sentence for this. There should be a coma after 'At that point'

Re: Editor :D

[giazz_40]

Thanks for reading it and I'll edit it later. I guess I love ellipses ;)

Re: Editor :D

[openedlocket]

No problem!

Nothing wrong with ellipses, of course ;) They just have to used not as often to achieve full effect.

Re: Editor :D

[giazz_40]

hee hee I knew that ;) thanks again