Fic: I Remember You - Chapter 9
Title: I Remember You
Author: gidgetgal9
Summary: Sam wakes up in a hospital with no memory. Will he learn the truth about what happened to him in time to save himself? S3 Not a death fiction!
Disclaimer & Rating: Please see Chapter 1
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8
I Remember You
Warning: some sexual content in this chapter but it is not explicit.
Chapter 9
Sam was taking deep calming breaths, trying to get himself composed as Dean stared at him with a concerned expression. Sam was grateful that his brother had kept his distance this time. Dreaming that your brother had assaulted you and waking up to your brother holding you, was not a good thing.
Once Sam felt he had finally caught his breath, he turned to his brother. He knew that Dean wanted an explanation and Sam felt he owed it to him even though recounting his dream was the last thing he wanted to do.
“Are you okay kiddo?”
“I’m better. These dream memory plants are so vivid and real. I’m sorry you’ve to deal with the fallout.” Sam shifted in his seat trying to get comfortable.
“Dude, so not your fault. Wanna talk about it?” Dean’s face was full of concern.
“Not really, but I guess I should. Uh, this dream dealt with me getting accepted to Stanford.” Sam quickly looked down at his hands wanting to avoid the scrutiny of his older brother.
“Oh, well that was a bit of a rough patch in our family's life. You wanted to go and Dad wanted you to stay. What happened in the dream?” Sam could hear the concern in Dean’s voice and he shared it. What if this was a true memory?
“Uh, you and Dad came home from a hunt, and were angry because I didn’t have dinner ready. Evidently you’d left me behind to study and I got the acceptance letter from Stanford and lost track of time. You spotted the letter in my hand and grabbed it.” Sam paused and took a deep breath, he really didn't want to go on.
“Sam, I remember the day you got accepted or at least the day you shared it with us. It was after graduation and we were packing up for a new hunt when you told Dad. He wasn’t happy Sam, and you two had a big blow out fight. He told you that if you left not to come back, and you packed up and left. I have a feeling things didn’t play out so well in your dream?” Dean’s voice was calm and supportive.
Sam rubbed his hands up and down his thighs and looked up at Dean. “Uh, some very ugly things were said about me spitting on Mom’s grave by leaving and you both took out your anger in a physical way.” Sam paused not wanting to go into details of the assault.
“Sammy, God we never hit you. Or at least Dad's never hit you, we've gotten into a few fights, but nothing serious, I promise.” Sam could see the shock and hurt in Dean’s face and was relieved that his dream memories weren’t real.
Sam swallowed hard. “I get that. But these stupid dreams are so real.”
Dean nodded. “Yeah, and I wish that I could stop them. I’m sure those demons planted enough of them to make it easy for you to leave your old life with us behind.”
“You're right Dean, and it wouldn’t have taken many of these for me to have decided that I was better off without my family. I’m just glad you rescued me and are here to set me straight.” Sam gave Dean a smile.
“I’m glad I’m here too kiddo. But before this gets too chick flicky lets get back on the road. I was think we could stop for lunch soon, you're looking a bit pale. Bet a good lunch could help fix that.” Dean gave Sam a big smile as he started the car back up.
“Sounds good.” Sam settled back in the seat and hoped that a bit of food and Tylenol would take his aches away.
-0-
Dean was happy that the road trip to Bobby’s house had gone pretty well. Other than Sam’s horrendous Stanford dream, things between them had gone pretty smoothly.
Sam was feeling and looking better which was a big relief to Dean. He hated watching his brother struggle with headaches and no energy. His little brother was able to make it most days without a nap and the headaches had pretty much gone away.
The brothers were also getting more comfortable with each other. The brotherly banter that Dean was so used too, was starting to make an appearance again. Dean still found himself over stepping his bounds sometimes and making Sam uncomfortable, but those instances were fewer and far between.
They were a few minutes from Bobby’s house when Dean decided to warn Sam as to what to expect.
“So Sammy, we’ll be at Bobby’s place in about twenty minutes. Just thought I would warn you that he is a bit messy.” Dean watched as Sam looked up from the US News magazine he was reading.
“He runs a salvage yard so I figured that it wasn’t the Hilton.” Sam shot back with a snort.
“Smart ass. Anyway, he keeps it clean but it’s cluttered. And do me a favor, do not move one of his books without telling him, because he has some sort of system worked out in the chaos.” Dean could see Sam’s eyes light up with interest.
“So he has a lot of books?” Dean had Sam’s full attention at the mention of books and Dean had to smile at his geeky brother- some things never changed.
“He has a lot of books on the supernatural. We’ve turned to him more than once for help researching hunts. In fact, he’s trying to find the ritual the demons used on you.” Dean watched Sam’s expression turn thoughtful.
“Maybe I can help him with that.” Sam answered in a quiet voice.
“Dude, I’m sure you can. You've always been our geek boy researcher. Wonder if you can still read Latin?” Dean figured the boy could, it seemed his memories were the only thing missing.
“Um, I think so. Why do I need to know Latin?” Sam’s face was full of curiosity.
“Well it comes in handy when we’re performing exorcisms and a lot of the old books about the supernatural are written in Latin.” Dean smiled as Sam’s face lit up in shock.
“Oh yeah, that’s what you were reading when you made the demon go back to hell, right?”
Dean nodded. “Yep.”
“So is Bobby expecting us?” Sam asked as they pulled off the main road.
“Yeah, I called him this morning, he’s making us lunch. I hope he’s grilling burgers, cause a burger and beer sounds great.” Dean sighed at the thought.
Sam huffed. “Dude you could live off of burgers. That’s about all I see you eat. I’m hoping that he’s prepared something else. I’m tired of burgers.”
“I know Samantha, burgers are too manly for your delicate self, but us men need our meat.” Dean laughed as Sam rolled his eyes.
“Dude, just cause I like my heart, doesn’t mean I’m a girl, but whatever.”
Dean sighed, it was good to have these moments with Sam. It was almost like he had his good old geek brother back.
-0-
Bobby heard the Impala rumbling up his drive. He stepped out onto his front porch waiting for the boys to arrive. His nerves had the best of him at the moment. He wasn’t sure how to approach a memory-less Sam.
As he watched the black classic pull into his yard, he noticed Dean quickly exit the Impala while Sam held back a bit.
“Hey Bobby, hope you got lunch ready cause I’m starving.” Dean patted Bobby on the shoulder as he approached.
“And when are you not hungry boy?” Bobby shook his head at Dean and then looked up at Sam.
The younger Winchester looked as nervous as Bobby felt. Sam tentatively held out a hand for Bobby to shake. “You must be Bobby, Dean has told me all about you.”
The words were like a punch to a stomach, driving home just how screwed up this situation was. Not wanting to spook the boy, Bobby decided to keep things light.
“Don’t believe a word of it unless it was good!” Bobby exclaimed as he took Sam’s hand and gave it a firm shake.
Dean must have picked up on the awkwardness of the situation because he piped up loudly. “All right, enough of this meet and greet crap, I’m starving.”
Bobby chuckled and watched as Sam’s face broke into a smile. Bobby leaned in and spoke quietly to Sam. “Sam, I feel your pain, being stuck with this idgit.”
Sam’s smile widened. “It’s not so bad. Just don’t tell him.”
-0-
Sam wasn’t too shocked by Bobby’s place, it was pretty much what he had imagined and Dean had described. It didn’t ring any memory bells as he entered, but he also felt relaxed and comfortable there.
Part of that comfort was knowing that he would have a bit more freedom here.
Sam was brought out of his thoughts by Dean’s voice.
“Anything look familiar dude?” Sam could see the hope in Dean’s eyes and he hated to dash it.
“Nope, but it’s about like I imagined.” Dean’s face fell a bit as he nodded.
“So Bobby, what’s on the menu for lunch?” Dean piped up as they entered the kitchen.
"Son, does this look like a restaurant? I made Sam’s favorite, spaghetti and garlic bread with a Caesar salad.” Bobby said as he headed over to the counter and pulled out plates from the cabinet.
“Dang, I was hoping for burgers.” Dean grumped as he grabbed some beer from the fridge.
Sam smiled. “So my favorite is spaghetti?”
Dean smiled as he handed Sam a beer. “You like Bobby’s spaghetti, cause he makes the sauce from scratch.”
Bobby nodded at the table. “Have a seat Sam, Dean can help me get everything on the table. You’re looking a bit pale.”
Sam blushed. “Yeah, I guess I won’t be much help anyway, not remembering where everything is.”
Dean handed Sam silverware. “You’re not using this whole 'demons drugged me and took my memory' crap to get out of doing dishes. That’s all I’m saying.”
Bobby walked up behind Dean and swatted him in the back of the head. Dean emitted a loud. “Ouch, man that hurt.”
Bobby winked at Sam. “Don’t listen to him. I want you to take it easy for a bit, Sam, and then I’ll put you to work.”
Sam smiled back. “Dean said you have a lot of books on the supernatural. I was hoping that I could at least help you do some research on the ritual that took my memory.”
Dean placed the bread on the table and slumped down in the chair next to Sam. “Yeah geek boy may not have his memories but he's still the research geek!”
Bobby smiled as he placed the salad and spaghetti on the table. “Yeah, sure Sam. I could always use another set of eyes.”
At that moment Sam realized that part of his unease over the past few days had been this sense of helplessness. He hoped that helping Bobby research would he alleviate some of that feeling.
Dean passed Sam the salad. “Dude, here’s your girly food, pass me the spaghetti.”
Sam rolled his eyes and took the salad passing the bowl of pasta to Dean. “So Bobby, when do you want to start researching?”
Sam passed the bowl of salad to Bobby as the man answered. “Well, I got to go to town after lunch to pick up some parts, so we could start up when I get back. Dean can show you around while I’m gone, and when I get back he can grill while we research.”
“Yes! Burgers! Bobby you do have onions right?” Dean’s tone was enthusiastic.
“Of course Dean, I have your damn onions.” Bobby said as he dug into his food.
Sam shared Dean’s enthusiasm for the afternoon but for different reasons. Finally he would get to do something other than following his brother around hoping that his memories would return.
-0-
Bobby was grabbing his keys ready to head out. “Dean, if you want to look at what I’ve found so far on rituals dealing with memory loss, I have my notes laid out on the desk. You guys make yourselves at home and I’ll be back in a bit.”
“Thanks Bobby, I think I’ll show Sam around and then I’ll take a peek at your notes. Don’t forget to get more beer.” Dean smirked as the elder hunter reached the door.
“Damn houseguests wanting to mooch off the old man.” Bobby muttered as the door slammed behind him.
Sam stared wide eyed at the exchange. “Dean, I think you pissed him off.”
Dean patted Sam on the shoulder. “Nah, you’d know if he was mad, that’s not mad.”
“Oh, well then I don’t want to see him mad.”
“Amen to that brother, you don’t. So how about I give you the grand tour?”
“Sure.”
It didn’t take long to give Sam the tour, inside the house and out. As the approached the front door to go back inside, Dean noticed that his brother was looking a bit peaked.
“Sam, why don’t you lay down for a bit? You're looking a bit like Snow White dude.”
Sam rolled his eyes. “Always with the girl jokes, tell me did you secretly wish for a sister and get stuck with me.”
Dean smirked, he couldn’t let the punk get away with his insult. “Oh yeah, I didn’t want to bring this up before, you adjusting to the amnesia thing, but yeah I did want a sister. I use to dress you up in the cutest dresses when Dad wasn’t around. I think you liked it cause you still like to wear your hair long.”
Sam’s eyes grew large in shock and then came the unexpected. “Dressing me like a girl makes you the gay one dude, so drop it!”
“Kidding, just kidding sheesh! I’m so not gay.” Dean huffed. Sam burst into laughter and Dean knew that his brother had indeed got the better of him.
“I’m serious about your looking pale though, so plant yourself on Bobby’s couch and try and take a nap.” Dean pointed to the old couch in the middle of the living room. He was relieved when Sam decided to follow orders and flopped himself down on the couch. He placed a throw pillow under his head and glared at Dean.
“Okay Mom, I’m ready for my nap.”
“Good, now I can have some peace and quiet. Mr. Forty questions, geesh it’s a salvage yard, of course there’s going to be a lot of cars, Captain Obvious.” Sam made a not so nice hand gesture and closed his eyes.
-0-
Sam didn’t want to admit it to his smug brother, but he was tired. Walking around the salvage yard had been the most exercise he had had since waking up in the hospital. The light exertion drove home that he wasn’t totally free of the effects of the drugs that the demons had given him.
It didn’t take long before he was out.
Sam was stuck in a dream again, but to his relief this time it was him and Jess. At least there shouldn’t be a confrontation.
As he watched dream Sam and Jess were on a couch making out.
“Oh Sam, I love you so much.” Jess growled seductively as she pulled away from the kiss.
Sam could see the lust in his eyes as he spoke to Jess.
“Love you too.” Dream Sam leaned in for another kiss. Jess stopped him, putting the tip of her index finger over his mouth.
“Baby, I want to take things to the next level. I want you to make love to me.” Jess’s gaze was intense.
Sam was shocked to see his dream self pull back from Jess and stare at his hands. Why if he loved the girl, would he pull away?
“Jess, I-I’m a virgin. My family moved me around so much as a kid. I never really had time to date, let alone have a serious girlfriend. I feel so stupid.” Dream Sam slowly lifted his eyes to meet Jess’s gaze.
“Baby, that doesn’t matter to me. You told me that they didn’t understand you and that your life wasn’t typical. I kind of suspected you were a virgin. It doesn’t matter to me. In fact, it really is a turn on. I mean, I’ll be your first that makes this so special. I wish that I was a virgin too.” Jess smiled brightly and gave Dream Sam a chaste kiss.
“I’m just glad one of us knows what they're doing.” Dream Sam blushed.
Sam supposed that it made sense that he might have gone to college a virgin. Dean had said that they moved around a lot. Before he could ponder on the subject, Jess had taken Dream Sam’s hand and led him to the bedroom.
It was odd watching himself make love for the first time with Jess. Porn came to mind and part of him wanted to look away but part of him was enjoying the show.
Jess was a tiger in bed. She had made quick work of their clothes and was on top of Dream Sam.
Things had begun to wind down, and Sam was happy that this dream hadn’t been traumatic, and he had hoped that this might have been a true memory.
Dream Sam snuggled up with Jess. “Wow, Jess that was so… wow.”
Jess smiled. “Wow, huh? I finally have left the great Sam Winchester speechless. “
Dream Sam blushed. “You leave me speechless and take my breath away all the time Jess. You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever known.”
Jess propped herself up on her elbow and stared deeply into Sam’s eyes. “You know now that you have given yourself to me, your mine? Mine forever Sam.”
“I can live with that.” Dream Sam snuggled closer.
“Good, cause I’m serious. You’re special, and your family never understood that. They didn’t respect all the power that dwells in you, but I do.”
Jess laid her hand on Dream Sam’s chest and Sam could feel the heat on his own chest, and there was a buzzing in his ears.
“You're powerful and mine, you understand that right? You gave yourself to me, forever!” Jess’s voice became a low growl and her eyes turned black as night.
God, this was so wrong, she’s a demon, this can’t be real.
-0-
Dean had settled behind Bobby’s desk in the corner of the living room. He had a good vantage point to watch his snoozing brother as he poured over Bobby’s notes. He just hoped that Sam would get a restful nap, and that the bad dreams would leave his little brother alone.
Bobby had quite an extensive pile of notes. It seems there were lots of rituals dealing with memory loss. Damn, that meant it would take a lot more research to narrow things down.
After a few minutes of reading the notes in front of him, Dean decided that making a pot of coffee sounded like a good plan if he was going to be able to stay awake. He started to get up from the desk when Sam stirred.
Dean stood still watching his brother for signs of distress. Sam started to moan and shuffle around a bit on the couch. To anyone else the moans might be a sign of a bad dream, but Dean knew his brother and the sounds that the kid was now admitting were not moans of distress.
'You go Sam,' were Dean's thoughts as he headed to the kitchen. A wet dream might be just what the kid needed to relieve all the stress he’s been under.
Dean decided to stay in the kitchen and enjoy his coffee free from a moaning brother writhing around on the couch. It was a beautiful day and Dean had thought about heading outside for a bit, but was reluctant to leave Sam alone.
Having downed the first cup of coffee, Dean decided to head back to the desk to snag some of the notes and then head back to the refuge of the kitchen. Dean walked towards the living room and could hear more moans coming from Sam.
Dean smirked as he reached the desk, and reached down to pick some up when Sam’s moans stopped and the boy started talking in his sleep.
“No, this can’t be. It’s not real! Jess is not a demon!” Sam started struggling on the couch and fell to the floor waking himself.
Dean crossed the room and crouched down to Sam’s level. He was careful not to touch him, not wanting to spook his little brother.
“Shhh, Sam it’s okay. It was just a dream.” Sam looked up at Dean, eyes wide with fear.
“It was another planted memory, I think.” Sam stated in a shaky voice.
Dean nodded and held out a hand to help his brother up from the floor. Sam took it and slowly rose from the floor. Dean helped maneuver his brother to the couch. Sam set down and quickly placed a throw pillow over his crotch.
Dean smirked but didn’t comment as he joined his brother on the couch.
Dean cleared his throat, and gave Sam a reassuring smile. “So this dream was about Jess? I heard you call her name out in your sleep.”
Sam blushed and nodded. “Dean can I ask you a personal question?”
“Shoot.”
“Um- do you know. Damn, do you know if Jess was my first?” Sam was crimson and staring at his hands.
“Huh, so in the dream, you were with Jess and it was your first time. Well that would be another planted memory then, cause you lost your virginity, senior year of high school.” Dean stifled a laugh as Sam shuffled around uncomfortable on the couch.
“You're sure?” Sam looked up briefly before going back to studying his hands.
“Yep, cause you came to big brother the night before wanting pointers. Your senior year, we stuck around in this one town for six months, and you had it bad for a certain, Carol Ann Miller. You popped your cherry on the third month anniversary of the two of you dating.” Dean patted Sam on the back and was happy that his brother didn‘t flinch. “Dude no reason to be embarrassed. When it comes to you, I know everything.”
Sam slowly raised his head and shyly nodded. “I figured. I get how close we must be. Most of the time I feel really comfortable with you, and I know it’s because of the past I can’t remember. Then these damn memory plants crop up and throw me off.”
Dean could see the frustration and anger in his brother’s face. “Dude, I know it must suck. It’s bad enough to lose your memories but to have these vivid mind altering dreams… well let just say if it was me, I don’t know if I could stay sane.”
“Who said I was sane?” Sam snorted.
“Good point. So I take it that in this lovely dream you lost your virginity to Jess- and that was the good part. ‘Cause dude, I heard the moaning.” Dean watched as his brother turned red again and looked away.
“This is so embarrassing.” Sam mumbled.
“Yeah well, it wasn’t the first time I’ve heard your happy noises before so get over it. So then the dream went bad on you?” Dean gave Sam an encouraging smile.
Sam cleared his throat. “Um, yeah, after you know, uh, the act. Well, she told me that I belonged to her. That, um unlike my family she understood me and my powers. She then laid her hands on my dream self- cause in the dreams, I’m a spectator- and I could feel this heat there.”
“Are you okay? Are you feeling any effects from that?” Dean didn’t think and just reached over and touched Sam’s chest feeling around for an injury. To his relief, Sam didn’t pull away, but slapped at Dean’s hands instead. The type of action the old Sam would have taken.
“Dude, I’m fine!” Sam huffed. “Anyway, I don’t remember the exact words, but she said something about me giving myself to her, and that now I belong to her forever. Then her eyes turned black. I freaked out then.”
“I would’ve too. So kiddo, I think that at this point, if the demons still had you, the conversion would have started. But lucky for you, your awesome big brother saved your ass.” Dean kept his voice positive even though the thoughts of what the demons might have done with Sam made his stomach twist.
Sam’s eyes were teary. “God, I don’t want to think about that.”
Dean gave Sam a shoulder shove. “Then don’t think about it.”
Sam nodded. “Thanks Dean.”
Dean was thankful too, thankful to have his brother safe and with him.
Chapter 10 Here