update of sorts.
drama drama.
blah blah blah.
drama drama.
heard from ben. big frakkin surprise there. the trifecta is complete. i've been haunted by sam, wes and now ben. sam is history... after ben's e-mail, i've got nothing left to say to him. and wes. ahhhhh wes.
got a text from him finally on wednesday. a very BS text. i called him out on it and responded with some scathing remarks. including calling him a coward. got a voicemail from him. poor boy wavered between sounding like he was going to puke and cry. i just got around to responding to his voicemail tonight.. told him that i wasn't ready to talk about it yet because i still wasn't sure if i'd cry or cuss him out - and neither would be very constructive. he responded, told me he understood, and told him that when i was ready to talk to him, he'd be waiting for me. not sure if that day will ever come. but it's more than he gave me 6yrs ago. and i stood up for myself. so maybe the years have changed us a bit. it's weird though. kinda feels like a breakup of sorts. i'm losing someone who was never truly mine... but he sorta revived some hope that things might change. now i'm not only losing him as a potential romantic interest - i'm losing him as a friend. probably for the best.
and what's a girl to do in times like these?? get a hot boytoy, of course. so i did. at least for the moment. who knows how long i'll manage to keep him around.
helped deliver 3 babies so far this week... all 3 being very interesting situations. first lady barely spoke english. second lady was a scheduled c-section who was crazy cuckoo. like a whole huge bowl of special-k cuckoo. i'm not even supposed to be doing sections yet. that was a major screw up by the charge nurse. my manager was NOT happy about it. very cool just the same. i got to be distraction girl when they were closing her back up. she thanked me for it later and told me i was good at it. and third lady was a young girl who did it naturally.. and man oh man did she turn into linda blair about an hour and a half before she delivered. we got her into the bed and on the monitors around 2:37... i checked her around 5:15 because she was freaking out and had made HUGE progress. she delivered at 6:26. yeah. she sorta rocked.
i'm kinda curious to see what tomorrow will bring.
had my 4-week evaluation yesterday. finished up about 20 minutes before that third patient delivered. things are going well according to my preceptor and manager. they told me it's quite clear i'm hell-bent on getting things right and that i'm making quite an impression. that my focus and determination is impressive and to keep up the good work. even though i'm still beating myself up from time to time, i'm feeling a little more sure of my abilities.
i've worked out 3 days this week and am gonna try for a 4th tomorrow morning. we'll see. headed down to join my folks at the bayhouse on sunday. i seriously need a break. i've not been the happiest freakin camper in the world. go back to work on tuesday. work wed and thursday, neonatal resuscitation class on friday, and maroon 5/counting crows/augustana show that night. woohoo! now THERE'S something to look forward to. i swear it feels like i never slow down.
okay. that's about it for now. night night, LJ.
blah blah blah.
drama drama.
heard from ben. big frakkin surprise there. the trifecta is complete. i've been haunted by sam, wes and now ben. sam is history... after ben's e-mail, i've got nothing left to say to him. and wes. ahhhhh wes.
got a text from him finally on wednesday. a very BS text. i called him out on it and responded with some scathing remarks. including calling him a coward. got a voicemail from him. poor boy wavered between sounding like he was going to puke and cry. i just got around to responding to his voicemail tonight.. told him that i wasn't ready to talk about it yet because i still wasn't sure if i'd cry or cuss him out - and neither would be very constructive. he responded, told me he understood, and told him that when i was ready to talk to him, he'd be waiting for me. not sure if that day will ever come. but it's more than he gave me 6yrs ago. and i stood up for myself. so maybe the years have changed us a bit. it's weird though. kinda feels like a breakup of sorts. i'm losing someone who was never truly mine... but he sorta revived some hope that things might change. now i'm not only losing him as a potential romantic interest - i'm losing him as a friend. probably for the best.
and what's a girl to do in times like these?? get a hot boytoy, of course. so i did. at least for the moment. who knows how long i'll manage to keep him around.
helped deliver 3 babies so far this week... all 3 being very interesting situations. first lady barely spoke english. second lady was a scheduled c-section who was crazy cuckoo. like a whole huge bowl of special-k cuckoo. i'm not even supposed to be doing sections yet. that was a major screw up by the charge nurse. my manager was NOT happy about it. very cool just the same. i got to be distraction girl when they were closing her back up. she thanked me for it later and told me i was good at it. and third lady was a young girl who did it naturally.. and man oh man did she turn into linda blair about an hour and a half before she delivered. we got her into the bed and on the monitors around 2:37... i checked her around 5:15 because she was freaking out and had made HUGE progress. she delivered at 6:26. yeah. she sorta rocked.
i'm kinda curious to see what tomorrow will bring.
had my 4-week evaluation yesterday. finished up about 20 minutes before that third patient delivered. things are going well according to my preceptor and manager. they told me it's quite clear i'm hell-bent on getting things right and that i'm making quite an impression. that my focus and determination is impressive and to keep up the good work. even though i'm still beating myself up from time to time, i'm feeling a little more sure of my abilities.
i've worked out 3 days this week and am gonna try for a 4th tomorrow morning. we'll see. headed down to join my folks at the bayhouse on sunday. i seriously need a break. i've not been the happiest freakin camper in the world. go back to work on tuesday. work wed and thursday, neonatal resuscitation class on friday, and maroon 5/counting crows/augustana show that night. woohoo! now THERE'S something to look forward to. i swear it feels like i never slow down.
okay. that's about it for now. night night, LJ.