[Journal: Dec 1st, 1985] If there is a God, I am nothing like him.

[gila_flats]

On the day we move into the Special Talent Quarters at Rockefeller Military Research Center, Laurie asks me to keep a journal. She fears I am losing touch with humanity, losing interest in her. She is right, and so I comply to her wishes. It is constraining to write of my experience in a linear fashion, but for Laurie's sake I will offer a glimpse

Comments

[missjuspeczyk]

Why do I feel like a kid with her hand in the cookie jar? Like you said, it's only human...I just don't know what to think anymore. This isn't the life I woke up with yesterday...

[gila_flats]

You will recover in time. The human capacity for healing is far stronger than you could imagine, and it is in the moments of reconstruction that humanity defines itself.

There is no need to feel shame, Laurie. I am writing for you.

[missjuspeczyk]

I know, I know, it takes time to recover. But in the here and now, it sucks! Ugh!

It's not that I don't appreciate the sentiment, please don't think that. It's a beautiful sentiment. It's just...oh, I don't know really. Why am I even complaining at all? Just to hear my own voice? Gah.

[gila_flats]

Yes, I appreciate that. Human existence is confusing and full of uneccessary pain. It will pass, and you will be happy. Happier than you were before all this.

I don't see this journal as sentiment. I am doing as you asked. Does my continued care for you make you uncomfortable?

[king_iskander]

Somehow your perception of time only serves to make things more intriguing, rather than confusing, Jon.

Tell me... Why is it so impossible to continue on here? No one can lay a hand on you. Is it truly necessary to keep away from the life you've so recently found a new passion for?

Where is it that you've disappeared to?

[gila_flats]

You use me as a weapon. I am blamed for fifteen million deaths.
What could compel me to remain, now that there is nothing that ties me to Earth?

I will make my home among the stars, and you will not find me.

[king_iskander]

You bear the blame, and I bear the guilt. Is that not a fair balance, in the end?

The sacrifice of your friendship was not one I made rashly. The only thing which keeps me from entirely regretting it, aside from the lives we've saved, is the fact that you do understand.

I never once hoped you'd forgive me for it.

You could make your home as close or far as you like. You know as well as I that I would never find you if you didn't wish me to.

[gila_flats]

Nothing ever ends, Adrian. I have told you this many times.

I return to Earth eventually, because you ask me to. Search for me, if you wish.

[carnageredux]

I hear a rumor that you find watches sexually attractive! Is this true? If so, I've got some super slutty watches just for you!

[gila_flats]

Intriguing.
I have no sexual feelings towards watches, but I appreciate the sentiment.