Supporting role
title: supporting role
chanbaek. slight!krisyeol. nc-17. drama. (3,410 words)
summary: Baekhyun is fuckzoned and he hates to admit that fact.
it almost feels like a joke to play a part,
when you're not a starring role in someone else's heart.
you know i'd rather walk alone, to play a supporting role
if i can get the starring role
-marina and the diamonds
Supporting role
Baekhyun clearly knows that what he’s doing is wrong. He knows that what he’s doing is dirty and unforgivable. But it’s hard to say no to him.
The smell of sex is lingering in the room, bodies sliding and hips grinding each other. It’s just like a routine for them. Even though Baekhyun knows that this lust is immoral, he can’t deny that the sensation feels so slow and fucking good.
But it hurts him deep inside.
It all started in a simple one night stand during a random college party - a typical wild hang out on meeting schoolmates and being acquainted to them just like how Baekhyun met him. As ordinary it may sound, Baekhyun felt really amazing during that one night stand. He can’t believe he did it.
Baekhyun thought that it would only happen once just like any cliché endings of any one night stands when he woke up the next day in a dorm room not quite familiar and no one seems to be inside. The feeling of disappointment washed over him but who am I kidding? It’s just a one night stand.
That one night stand did not change Baekhyun as a university student; he still gets good grades and often times being a teacher’s pet (one way to get high grades). But Baekhyun saw him, and even though he was drunk that night, the face of the boy is still imprinted in his mind.
He doesn’t know what to do, maybe saying “hi” would be alright or a nod maybe. But impulsiveness came over him when the boy’s a few meters in front of him. Baekhyun walked casually towards him and smiled at him. He just passed by Baekhyun like he never knew him at all.
At that moment, Baekhyun wanted to slap himself for being an idiot. It’s just a one night stand for fuck’s sake, I don’t even know his name, he thought. But when his second break time came wherein his next period is three hours later, he felt a hand grabbed his and dragged him to an oddly familiar room. It’s him.
The boy suddenly became needy and Baekhyun just went the flow. Sloppy kisses here, throwing of clothes there. Demanding Baekhyun to give him a blow and he felt fingers tangled his hair. Oh god. Baekhyun gave a teasing lick on the head of the erected member in front of his face as he heard a groan from the boy, he mentally smirked. He engulfed the member and bobbed his head while humming to give it a vibration. Endless moans and groan came from the boy’s mouth. Suddenly, the boy thrusts his hips going along with the rhythm of Baekhyun’s bobbing head and the next thing he knows, the boy pulled his cock out of Baekhyun’s mouth and ordered Baekhyun to open his mouth while looking at him and he did. The boy pumped his member hard for two times and he came on Baekhyun’s face and he thinks the stranger - or rather acquaintance - in front of him looks so fucking hot. He pulled Baekhyun up and kissed him feeling his own come in Baekhyun’s mouth.
Baekhyun was carried to the boy’s bed and was lied down gently. The boy was on top of him, kissing wherever his mouth can. He kissed Baekhyun’s lips, gave a peck on his nose, licked his earlobe, gave a hickey on Baekhyun’s neck, kissed his collarbones, licked and sucked Baekhyun’s nipples which made him moan and arch his back, it felt so fucking good. His tongue went further down as his mouth went to Baekhyun’s inner thigh, giving light kisses and leaving heavy marks. Baekhyun mewled, making him spread his legs further. He heard the boy chuckle and fuck, his voice is so attractive.
Suddenly, he felt a digit massaging his hole and then in it came. A lustful noise came out of Baekhyun’s mouth and he felt his cock twitch wanting to pump it. When his hand went for his member, a hand swatted away his hand. Baekhyun let out a frustrated groan. Baekhyun heard him chuckle again and he wanted to strangle the boy. Another digit came in and another as it’s pumped in and out of Baekhyun and Baekhyun pleads.
The boy got something out under the pillow and opened the bottle of lube, placed a good amount on his hand and started smearing it on his cock. He entered Baekhyun and oh god it’s feels so fucking good.
A thrill came rushing inside of Baekhyun because the fact that they are doing this while they are sober and not drunk and not high makes Baekhyun really giddy. They are doing it consciously.
Moans and groans filled the room and the sound of skin slapping makes Baekhyun dizzy enough because it really feels fucking good. The boy’s head is rested on the crook of his neck, hot breaths hitting his neck just made the temperature of the room hotter.
Baekhyun came and a few moments later, the boy pulled his cock out of Baekhyun and pumped it until white fluid came out of his member. The boy collapsed beside Baekhyun, both of them catching their breath. Baekhyun faced the boy and asked him, “What’s your name?”
The boy responded with, “Park Chanyeol. How about you?”
“Byun Baekhyun.” Both of them smiled especially Baekhyun because he felt really warm and he thinks his cheeks are tinted with pink. Chanyeol thought he’s adorable.
The rest of break time was just them having small talks and getting to know each other. Baekhyun thought everything’s going perfectly.
It slowly became their addiction just like a routine.
But Baekhyun thinking that everything’s going perfectly is slowly crashing down when he noticed that Chanyeol doesn’t act like he knows him around school premises. Chanyeol just passes by him in the university, not bothering to say “hi” or not giving him an acknowledgeable nod. It’s making him sad, though. He noticed that Chanyeol only talked to him when they’re doing it. At the same time, Baekhyun thought it’s okay since Chanyeol still talks to him; though it is depressing that he only talks to Baekhyun when they get undressed and after doing it. Baekhyun gave a lot of attempts talking to Chanyeol outside of the latter’s dorm room but it’s useless and Baekhyun eventually gave up.
He thought what he was doing was okay even though they’re not committed or anything in relation.
Oh boy, he was wrong.
It was Baekhyun’s free time before his next period starts. He hates how his university gives him fucked up schedules. Baekhyun’s next period will start three hours later as usual and he swears to himself that if the admission won’t give a better schedule, he will get fat from eating during his free time (without Chanyeol). But as soon as he sees him, he immediately thought otherwise.
Chanyeol grabbed his wrist and dragged him to a very well-known room.
Baekhyun suddenly felt his back hitting the wall of the room and arms raised on both sides of his head, as Chanyeol pinned him to the wall - rather uncomfortably - and started to give a gentle kiss on Baekhyun’s lips. Until the kiss gets hotter and both started to battle for domination but it’s always Chanyeol who wins. Baekhyun gets melted in the kiss and he felt really lightheaded - as always - as the boy kissed the spot between the ear and the jaw.
A moan went out of Baekhyun lips, Chanyeol, as the taller kept on kissing his sensitive spots. The rush that the both of them are experiencing made Chanyeol impatiently remove Baekhyun’s shirt and his. The fact that they do this as a routine, Baekhyun already knows what will happen next like him crouching in front of Chanyeol and a crotch facing him. He unzips the fly of the pants that is clearly an effort for him since the tightness of the pants is unbearable for Chanyeol.
Giving Chanyeol a blow, then coming on his face. Chanyeol carrying him, then putting him gently down on the bed. Same old kissing shit. Everything is never different, it’s the same routine everytime. But Baekhyun still loves everything that’s happening. This has been going on for weeks but Baekhyun never gets tired of everything.
After doing it, Baekhyun told Chanyeol he would take a nap before his next period starts while Chanyeol waves him goodbye since his next period is in a few minutes, telling him to lock the door when he leaves. But Baekhyun did not take a nap. He took this moment to think about Chanyeol.
He adores Chanyeol and there’s no doubting about his feelings. The way Chanyeol talks to him after doing it makes him fall for him harder. But they still have not DTR or define-the-relationship. What is Chanyeol to him? What is Baekhyun to him? What are they to each other? They’ve quite known each other for some time but they only keep their relationship inside Chanyeol’s room. Outside, they’re like strangers and Baekhyun does not have the slightest idea on why they are like that.
Baekhyun is completely confused on why is Chanyeol avoiding him outside of this room, why is it hard to talk to him outside (and he’s not traumatized by talking to him when some of Chanyeol’s friends snickered at him for talking to him and Chanyeol just ignored him), and he’s hurt.
It’s fucking hurts, Baekhyun thought as he felt like crying at that moment.
His train of thoughts were disrupted by a message ringtone. He looked around for the source of this sound and he found it on top of the study table just beside the bed. Baekhyun does not want to be nosy but he stood up, a blanket over him knowing that he’s still bare. The ringtone stopped and curiosity came over him.
No, Baekhyun. It’s none of your business, his head says but his hands contradict as he lifts up the phone and studied it for awhile. Baekhyun realized that he never got Chanyeol’s phone number. That made Baekhyun even more hurt.
He unlocked the phone and checked out the home screen to see the name of the sender.
My dragon ♥
Hm, Baekhyun thought, what a weird name to name a friend.
Baekhyun thought about something else and he doesn’t want to think about it. He keeps on assuring himself that he’s just a close friend, maybe best friend. But Chanyeol never mentioned any “dragon” to him or any friends that are dragon-like to him. He knows Jongin, Sehun, Luhan, and Tao as Chanyeol told stories about his friends but he never mentioned anything. Maybe the “dragon” is Tao but it’s not even close.
He doesn’t want to open the message but something inside him is telling him to do it. It takes him a few moments to debate with himself if he should open it or not, but he “accidentally” clicked open and carefully read the text message:
did u miss me!!!!!!!!! i’ll be there in seoul tom and u have to fetch me in the airport tom by 530pm ok? i //hope// u did not do bad things while i was gone. i know i was gone for a few months and i know u miss me and i miss u too soooo much! hahaha just remember that i love you so much and for waiting for me patiently. i love you so much i love you so much and just thinking about you makes me want to make time go fasteeeeer and see you sooner. see you tom! i love you so much ♥
Baekhyun read that message over and over again. He felt sick and so fucking stupid. His heart started beating rapidly just thinking about the possibilities when Chanyeol’s “dragon” comes home knowing that Chanyeol’s been fucking some schoolmate behind his couple’s back.
Fuck my life, Baekhyun thought. Just thinking about being part of this couple makes him nauseous. He doesn’t want to be part of this. He wants to escape and just think that this never happened. But he feels queasier thinking that he fell for Chanyeol. Baekhyun thought of breaking away from this event in his life but the way Chanyeol made him feel this way is making it impossible. He wants to punch Chanyeol in the face for making everything a mess. How he messed up with his couple, how he messed up by not clearing things, how he messed up with his feelings. This is just so fucked up.
He read the message again and deleted it or maybe not. Baekhyun lets it be. Probably, Chanyeol’s “dragon” will text him again later, leaving him cheesy texts and oh god, I just want to run away from this.
And it hits Baekhyun: Chanyeol was just using him for his own needs, something to fill up the needs that his couple lacked while he was gone. He feels more hurt - rather betrayed.
“Fuck you, Park Chanyeol,” Baekhyun managed to mutter under his breath.
Next day comes and Chanyeol avoided Baekhyun like a plague. Baekhyun comes into conclusion that Chanyeol’s mad at him as he went home with his phone on his boyfriend’s message on screen and found out that Baekhyun read it. It’s no big deal, Baekhyun thought.
He would mentally scoff whenever Chanyeol would maneuver the other way around when he sees Baekhyun. What is it to him? The deal’s done and Chanyeol can do it with his “dragon” and he would be ignored as usual. Yeah right, I’m not needed anymore.
Baekhyun thinks about being the starring role inside Chanyeol but he chuckles to himself, “I’m just a supporting role.”
Chanyeol feels bad. He really does. The fact that Baekhyun read the message makes him want the earth to swallow him whole and never show up to anyone again, especially to Kris and Baekhyun. He feels like an idiot and stupid and everything that’s related to that word. He knew this day would come and he knew there's no running away from it.
He’s just being truthful to himself that he needed someone beside him when Kris was gone. But he did not expect it to be that way. He expected someone just to be with him by his side and support him. And not act as the replacement for Kris.
That’s what he’s doing. Chanyeol ignores Baekhyun in school because whenever he sees him, he feels like the guilt is stabbing him everywhere. He feels disgusting. The feeling of guilt whenever he sees the hurt flash in Baekhyun’s eyes is unbearable and the way he’s fucking someone behind his boyfriend’s back is making him more pathetic than anyone else in this world.
It’s not that he’s using Baekhyun. He wants Baekhyun and the feeling of Baekhyun’s skin against him won’t come off as it lingers like a parasite on his. But what makes him stray away from his feelings for Baekhyun is Kris. Kris is still inside his heart and he can’t let him go just like that - that’s stupid. He likes Baekhyun and he’s not denying it but the feeling of love for Kris is still inside.
He wants to stop touching Baekhyun but he just can’t. Baekhyun’s skin is itching to be against his and he just can’t stop. Whenever he sees Baekhyun, the urge to push him closer to him is always done and the feeling of his heart whenever he drags Baekhyun to his room is exciting.
It’s his second break, the same as Baekhyun’s and he just wants to feel Baekhyun’s skin before everything ends and this time, he promise to himself to talk to Baekhyun.
As he saw Baekhyun walking in the hallway, he managed to pull Baekhyun away and drag him in his room. It did not start off as the usual. The usual sloppy kiss and blowjob did not happen. Both of them at the wall where it happens first, just facing each other with Baekhyun leaning at the wall. Chanyeol just stared at Baekhyun and the latter stared at him intently in the eyes.
Chanyeol opened his mouth to speak but he closed it again. The hesitation he’s feeling is unnerving that he just wants to break down in front of Baekhyun but he’s still keeping his cool.
“Baekhyun, I’m really sor-” Chanyeol managed to say softly but was harshly cut off with a fuck off.
The hurt seemed to increase inside of him and he just wants to cry. He feels horrible.
“No, Baekhyun please just listen to me,” Chanyeol pleaded, cupping Baekhyun’s face.
Baekhyun became silent, waiting for Chanyeol to explain everything to him, and he wants to hear what’s up with Chanyeol because he doesn’t get him.
“I’m sorry and I basically fucked everything up. I feel so pathetic and I just needed someone beside me and oh god, I feel really fucking awful, Baekhyun.” Baekhyun wants to know if he’s being sincere but the way Chanyeol looks at him right now is full of hurt and guilt.
“Want kind of need are you talking about?” Baekhyun blurted out. The impulsiveness of his words makes him want to hide and not speak again but then again, it’s the question to know what he really is to Chanyeol.
Chanyeol became silent. What kind of need? He doesn’t know how to respond to this. His eyes glued to the floor because of shame. He’s fucking ashamed for the things he has done.
“Just as I thought,” Baekhyun scoffed and pushed Chanyeol away as he made his way to the door. But before he could grab for the handle, Chanyeol grabbed his wrist making Baekhyun face him.
“Please, let’s do this for the last time.”
Baekhyun suddenly became angry at Chanyeol’s selfishness. What guts did this boy have? He would be fetching his boyfriend a few hours later and this is what he does. It disgusts him. The urge to push Chanyeol away is on the tip of his fingertips but he feels like he should give Chanyeol this chance. He then realizes that he’s also selfish but the feeling of Chanyeol inside him is irresistible.
Chanyeol took this chance and does it like the usual. But everything seems so gentle, out of care and even though it’s like the routine, he wants to do this out of something because he knows that this will be the last time he would feel Baekhyun’s skin against his and he doesn’t want to think of anyone or anything right now. He doesn’t want to feel bad or guilty or ashamed on what he’s doing right now. Just the feeling of Baekhyun and his skin just feels so right at the moment and this is what he needs right now.
Baekhyun clearly knows that what he’s doing is wrong. He knows that what he’s doing is dirty and unforgivable. But it’s hard to say no to him.
Everything is out of care and the feeling of need lingers in the air.
From slow to gentle kisses and engulfing Chanyeol in his mouth slowly to thrusting inside Baekhyun gently, Baekhyun wants to cry. The way Chanyeol is treating him right now feels like someone is punching him in the guts because this is an indication that this will the last time. The feeling of attachment to Chanyeol in this room is unbearable and he doesn’t know what to do after he goes out of this room.
As Chanyeol collapsed beside Baekhyun, the latter sobbed and he let it all out. He really likes Chanyeol but he’s a dick but he really likes him. And he feels really pathetic for liking someone like Chanyeol. It’s not that Chanyeol is a bad guy; he’s just a selfish dick who just wants to fill someone his needs and it pains him to think that he actually likes Chanyeol.
Chanyeol faced Baekhyun and guilt showered over him. He hugged Baekhyun and told him endless apologies. Baekhyun feels dirty and he feels like he’s tainted with some kind of sin that would not be that easy to erase inside of him. It’s clear that Baekhyun would never Chanyeol how he feels. Baekhyun is crying because everything will be different starting tomorrow and Chanyeol might never talk to him ever again.
Baekhyun’s sobs subsided and Chanyeol waited for him to let it all out. He doesn't want to interfere the crying boy in front of him because everything is his fault. Silence engulfed them. Chanyeol faced Baekhyun and moved the fringe that’s covering his face.
“Don’t worry, Baekhyun, I’ll never ignore you again.” With that, Baekhyun knows that everything is slowly falling apart and everything is just starting to begin.
Baekhyun wants to shut all his feelings away because he knows that he will never be Chanyeol’s starring role, he just became the supporting role in his life even though he refuses to be one.
a/n: omygod i finished a smut fic and it's yaoi and jfc this is a first hahahaha
hephep hooray on my first smut yaoi fic
did u guys notice the stream of consciousness in this fic??? no? ok no hahaha
and it's a descriptive fic. it really does not have any dialogues just the important ones i think??
(i secretly dont know how to write dialogues on a smut fic like how even)
my jam to this song is figure 8 by ellie goulding! listen to it!!!1
and yeap idka just -____- thank you for reading~
chanbaek. slight!krisyeol. nc-17. drama. (3,410 words)
summary: Baekhyun is fuckzoned and he hates to admit that fact.
it almost feels like a joke to play a part,
when you're not a starring role in someone else's heart.
you know i'd rather walk alone, to play a supporting role
if i can get the starring role
-marina and the diamonds
Supporting role
Baekhyun clearly knows that what he’s doing is wrong. He knows that what he’s doing is dirty and unforgivable. But it’s hard to say no to him.
The smell of sex is lingering in the room, bodies sliding and hips grinding each other. It’s just like a routine for them. Even though Baekhyun knows that this lust is immoral, he can’t deny that the sensation feels so slow and fucking good.
But it hurts him deep inside.
It all started in a simple one night stand during a random college party - a typical wild hang out on meeting schoolmates and being acquainted to them just like how Baekhyun met him. As ordinary it may sound, Baekhyun felt really amazing during that one night stand. He can’t believe he did it.
Baekhyun thought that it would only happen once just like any cliché endings of any one night stands when he woke up the next day in a dorm room not quite familiar and no one seems to be inside. The feeling of disappointment washed over him but who am I kidding? It’s just a one night stand.
That one night stand did not change Baekhyun as a university student; he still gets good grades and often times being a teacher’s pet (one way to get high grades). But Baekhyun saw him, and even though he was drunk that night, the face of the boy is still imprinted in his mind.
He doesn’t know what to do, maybe saying “hi” would be alright or a nod maybe. But impulsiveness came over him when the boy’s a few meters in front of him. Baekhyun walked casually towards him and smiled at him. He just passed by Baekhyun like he never knew him at all.
At that moment, Baekhyun wanted to slap himself for being an idiot. It’s just a one night stand for fuck’s sake, I don’t even know his name, he thought. But when his second break time came wherein his next period is three hours later, he felt a hand grabbed his and dragged him to an oddly familiar room. It’s him.
The boy suddenly became needy and Baekhyun just went the flow. Sloppy kisses here, throwing of clothes there. Demanding Baekhyun to give him a blow and he felt fingers tangled his hair. Oh god. Baekhyun gave a teasing lick on the head of the erected member in front of his face as he heard a groan from the boy, he mentally smirked. He engulfed the member and bobbed his head while humming to give it a vibration. Endless moans and groan came from the boy’s mouth. Suddenly, the boy thrusts his hips going along with the rhythm of Baekhyun’s bobbing head and the next thing he knows, the boy pulled his cock out of Baekhyun’s mouth and ordered Baekhyun to open his mouth while looking at him and he did. The boy pumped his member hard for two times and he came on Baekhyun’s face and he thinks the stranger - or rather acquaintance - in front of him looks so fucking hot. He pulled Baekhyun up and kissed him feeling his own come in Baekhyun’s mouth.
Baekhyun was carried to the boy’s bed and was lied down gently. The boy was on top of him, kissing wherever his mouth can. He kissed Baekhyun’s lips, gave a peck on his nose, licked his earlobe, gave a hickey on Baekhyun’s neck, kissed his collarbones, licked and sucked Baekhyun’s nipples which made him moan and arch his back, it felt so fucking good. His tongue went further down as his mouth went to Baekhyun’s inner thigh, giving light kisses and leaving heavy marks. Baekhyun mewled, making him spread his legs further. He heard the boy chuckle and fuck, his voice is so attractive.
Suddenly, he felt a digit massaging his hole and then in it came. A lustful noise came out of Baekhyun’s mouth and he felt his cock twitch wanting to pump it. When his hand went for his member, a hand swatted away his hand. Baekhyun let out a frustrated groan. Baekhyun heard him chuckle again and he wanted to strangle the boy. Another digit came in and another as it’s pumped in and out of Baekhyun and Baekhyun pleads.
The boy got something out under the pillow and opened the bottle of lube, placed a good amount on his hand and started smearing it on his cock. He entered Baekhyun and oh god it’s feels so fucking good.
A thrill came rushing inside of Baekhyun because the fact that they are doing this while they are sober and not drunk and not high makes Baekhyun really giddy. They are doing it consciously.
Moans and groans filled the room and the sound of skin slapping makes Baekhyun dizzy enough because it really feels fucking good. The boy’s head is rested on the crook of his neck, hot breaths hitting his neck just made the temperature of the room hotter.
Baekhyun came and a few moments later, the boy pulled his cock out of Baekhyun and pumped it until white fluid came out of his member. The boy collapsed beside Baekhyun, both of them catching their breath. Baekhyun faced the boy and asked him, “What’s your name?”
The boy responded with, “Park Chanyeol. How about you?”
“Byun Baekhyun.” Both of them smiled especially Baekhyun because he felt really warm and he thinks his cheeks are tinted with pink. Chanyeol thought he’s adorable.
The rest of break time was just them having small talks and getting to know each other. Baekhyun thought everything’s going perfectly.
It slowly became their addiction just like a routine.
But Baekhyun thinking that everything’s going perfectly is slowly crashing down when he noticed that Chanyeol doesn’t act like he knows him around school premises. Chanyeol just passes by him in the university, not bothering to say “hi” or not giving him an acknowledgeable nod. It’s making him sad, though. He noticed that Chanyeol only talked to him when they’re doing it. At the same time, Baekhyun thought it’s okay since Chanyeol still talks to him; though it is depressing that he only talks to Baekhyun when they get undressed and after doing it. Baekhyun gave a lot of attempts talking to Chanyeol outside of the latter’s dorm room but it’s useless and Baekhyun eventually gave up.
He thought what he was doing was okay even though they’re not committed or anything in relation.
Oh boy, he was wrong.
It was Baekhyun’s free time before his next period starts. He hates how his university gives him fucked up schedules. Baekhyun’s next period will start three hours later as usual and he swears to himself that if the admission won’t give a better schedule, he will get fat from eating during his free time (without Chanyeol). But as soon as he sees him, he immediately thought otherwise.
Chanyeol grabbed his wrist and dragged him to a very well-known room.
Baekhyun suddenly felt his back hitting the wall of the room and arms raised on both sides of his head, as Chanyeol pinned him to the wall - rather uncomfortably - and started to give a gentle kiss on Baekhyun’s lips. Until the kiss gets hotter and both started to battle for domination but it’s always Chanyeol who wins. Baekhyun gets melted in the kiss and he felt really lightheaded - as always - as the boy kissed the spot between the ear and the jaw.
A moan went out of Baekhyun lips, Chanyeol, as the taller kept on kissing his sensitive spots. The rush that the both of them are experiencing made Chanyeol impatiently remove Baekhyun’s shirt and his. The fact that they do this as a routine, Baekhyun already knows what will happen next like him crouching in front of Chanyeol and a crotch facing him. He unzips the fly of the pants that is clearly an effort for him since the tightness of the pants is unbearable for Chanyeol.
Giving Chanyeol a blow, then coming on his face. Chanyeol carrying him, then putting him gently down on the bed. Same old kissing shit. Everything is never different, it’s the same routine everytime. But Baekhyun still loves everything that’s happening. This has been going on for weeks but Baekhyun never gets tired of everything.
After doing it, Baekhyun told Chanyeol he would take a nap before his next period starts while Chanyeol waves him goodbye since his next period is in a few minutes, telling him to lock the door when he leaves. But Baekhyun did not take a nap. He took this moment to think about Chanyeol.
He adores Chanyeol and there’s no doubting about his feelings. The way Chanyeol talks to him after doing it makes him fall for him harder. But they still have not DTR or define-the-relationship. What is Chanyeol to him? What is Baekhyun to him? What are they to each other? They’ve quite known each other for some time but they only keep their relationship inside Chanyeol’s room. Outside, they’re like strangers and Baekhyun does not have the slightest idea on why they are like that.
Baekhyun is completely confused on why is Chanyeol avoiding him outside of this room, why is it hard to talk to him outside (and he’s not traumatized by talking to him when some of Chanyeol’s friends snickered at him for talking to him and Chanyeol just ignored him), and he’s hurt.
It’s fucking hurts, Baekhyun thought as he felt like crying at that moment.
His train of thoughts were disrupted by a message ringtone. He looked around for the source of this sound and he found it on top of the study table just beside the bed. Baekhyun does not want to be nosy but he stood up, a blanket over him knowing that he’s still bare. The ringtone stopped and curiosity came over him.
No, Baekhyun. It’s none of your business, his head says but his hands contradict as he lifts up the phone and studied it for awhile. Baekhyun realized that he never got Chanyeol’s phone number. That made Baekhyun even more hurt.
He unlocked the phone and checked out the home screen to see the name of the sender.
My dragon ♥
Hm, Baekhyun thought, what a weird name to name a friend.
Baekhyun thought about something else and he doesn’t want to think about it. He keeps on assuring himself that he’s just a close friend, maybe best friend. But Chanyeol never mentioned any “dragon” to him or any friends that are dragon-like to him. He knows Jongin, Sehun, Luhan, and Tao as Chanyeol told stories about his friends but he never mentioned anything. Maybe the “dragon” is Tao but it’s not even close.
He doesn’t want to open the message but something inside him is telling him to do it. It takes him a few moments to debate with himself if he should open it or not, but he “accidentally” clicked open and carefully read the text message:
did u miss me!!!!!!!!! i’ll be there in seoul tom and u have to fetch me in the airport tom by 530pm ok? i //hope// u did not do bad things while i was gone. i know i was gone for a few months and i know u miss me and i miss u too soooo much! hahaha just remember that i love you so much and for waiting for me patiently. i love you so much i love you so much and just thinking about you makes me want to make time go fasteeeeer and see you sooner. see you tom! i love you so much ♥
Baekhyun read that message over and over again. He felt sick and so fucking stupid. His heart started beating rapidly just thinking about the possibilities when Chanyeol’s “dragon” comes home knowing that Chanyeol’s been fucking some schoolmate behind his couple’s back.
Fuck my life, Baekhyun thought. Just thinking about being part of this couple makes him nauseous. He doesn’t want to be part of this. He wants to escape and just think that this never happened. But he feels queasier thinking that he fell for Chanyeol. Baekhyun thought of breaking away from this event in his life but the way Chanyeol made him feel this way is making it impossible. He wants to punch Chanyeol in the face for making everything a mess. How he messed up with his couple, how he messed up by not clearing things, how he messed up with his feelings. This is just so fucked up.
He read the message again and deleted it or maybe not. Baekhyun lets it be. Probably, Chanyeol’s “dragon” will text him again later, leaving him cheesy texts and oh god, I just want to run away from this.
And it hits Baekhyun: Chanyeol was just using him for his own needs, something to fill up the needs that his couple lacked while he was gone. He feels more hurt - rather betrayed.
“Fuck you, Park Chanyeol,” Baekhyun managed to mutter under his breath.
Next day comes and Chanyeol avoided Baekhyun like a plague. Baekhyun comes into conclusion that Chanyeol’s mad at him as he went home with his phone on his boyfriend’s message on screen and found out that Baekhyun read it. It’s no big deal, Baekhyun thought.
He would mentally scoff whenever Chanyeol would maneuver the other way around when he sees Baekhyun. What is it to him? The deal’s done and Chanyeol can do it with his “dragon” and he would be ignored as usual. Yeah right, I’m not needed anymore.
Baekhyun thinks about being the starring role inside Chanyeol but he chuckles to himself, “I’m just a supporting role.”
Chanyeol feels bad. He really does. The fact that Baekhyun read the message makes him want the earth to swallow him whole and never show up to anyone again, especially to Kris and Baekhyun. He feels like an idiot and stupid and everything that’s related to that word. He knew this day would come and he knew there's no running away from it.
He’s just being truthful to himself that he needed someone beside him when Kris was gone. But he did not expect it to be that way. He expected someone just to be with him by his side and support him. And not act as the replacement for Kris.
That’s what he’s doing. Chanyeol ignores Baekhyun in school because whenever he sees him, he feels like the guilt is stabbing him everywhere. He feels disgusting. The feeling of guilt whenever he sees the hurt flash in Baekhyun’s eyes is unbearable and the way he’s fucking someone behind his boyfriend’s back is making him more pathetic than anyone else in this world.
It’s not that he’s using Baekhyun. He wants Baekhyun and the feeling of Baekhyun’s skin against him won’t come off as it lingers like a parasite on his. But what makes him stray away from his feelings for Baekhyun is Kris. Kris is still inside his heart and he can’t let him go just like that - that’s stupid. He likes Baekhyun and he’s not denying it but the feeling of love for Kris is still inside.
He wants to stop touching Baekhyun but he just can’t. Baekhyun’s skin is itching to be against his and he just can’t stop. Whenever he sees Baekhyun, the urge to push him closer to him is always done and the feeling of his heart whenever he drags Baekhyun to his room is exciting.
It’s his second break, the same as Baekhyun’s and he just wants to feel Baekhyun’s skin before everything ends and this time, he promise to himself to talk to Baekhyun.
As he saw Baekhyun walking in the hallway, he managed to pull Baekhyun away and drag him in his room. It did not start off as the usual. The usual sloppy kiss and blowjob did not happen. Both of them at the wall where it happens first, just facing each other with Baekhyun leaning at the wall. Chanyeol just stared at Baekhyun and the latter stared at him intently in the eyes.
Chanyeol opened his mouth to speak but he closed it again. The hesitation he’s feeling is unnerving that he just wants to break down in front of Baekhyun but he’s still keeping his cool.
“Baekhyun, I’m really sor-” Chanyeol managed to say softly but was harshly cut off with a fuck off.
The hurt seemed to increase inside of him and he just wants to cry. He feels horrible.
“No, Baekhyun please just listen to me,” Chanyeol pleaded, cupping Baekhyun’s face.
Baekhyun became silent, waiting for Chanyeol to explain everything to him, and he wants to hear what’s up with Chanyeol because he doesn’t get him.
“I’m sorry and I basically fucked everything up. I feel so pathetic and I just needed someone beside me and oh god, I feel really fucking awful, Baekhyun.” Baekhyun wants to know if he’s being sincere but the way Chanyeol looks at him right now is full of hurt and guilt.
“Want kind of need are you talking about?” Baekhyun blurted out. The impulsiveness of his words makes him want to hide and not speak again but then again, it’s the question to know what he really is to Chanyeol.
Chanyeol became silent. What kind of need? He doesn’t know how to respond to this. His eyes glued to the floor because of shame. He’s fucking ashamed for the things he has done.
“Just as I thought,” Baekhyun scoffed and pushed Chanyeol away as he made his way to the door. But before he could grab for the handle, Chanyeol grabbed his wrist making Baekhyun face him.
“Please, let’s do this for the last time.”
Baekhyun suddenly became angry at Chanyeol’s selfishness. What guts did this boy have? He would be fetching his boyfriend a few hours later and this is what he does. It disgusts him. The urge to push Chanyeol away is on the tip of his fingertips but he feels like he should give Chanyeol this chance. He then realizes that he’s also selfish but the feeling of Chanyeol inside him is irresistible.
Chanyeol took this chance and does it like the usual. But everything seems so gentle, out of care and even though it’s like the routine, he wants to do this out of something because he knows that this will be the last time he would feel Baekhyun’s skin against his and he doesn’t want to think of anyone or anything right now. He doesn’t want to feel bad or guilty or ashamed on what he’s doing right now. Just the feeling of Baekhyun and his skin just feels so right at the moment and this is what he needs right now.
Baekhyun clearly knows that what he’s doing is wrong. He knows that what he’s doing is dirty and unforgivable. But it’s hard to say no to him.
Everything is out of care and the feeling of need lingers in the air.
From slow to gentle kisses and engulfing Chanyeol in his mouth slowly to thrusting inside Baekhyun gently, Baekhyun wants to cry. The way Chanyeol is treating him right now feels like someone is punching him in the guts because this is an indication that this will the last time. The feeling of attachment to Chanyeol in this room is unbearable and he doesn’t know what to do after he goes out of this room.
As Chanyeol collapsed beside Baekhyun, the latter sobbed and he let it all out. He really likes Chanyeol but he’s a dick but he really likes him. And he feels really pathetic for liking someone like Chanyeol. It’s not that Chanyeol is a bad guy; he’s just a selfish dick who just wants to fill someone his needs and it pains him to think that he actually likes Chanyeol.
Chanyeol faced Baekhyun and guilt showered over him. He hugged Baekhyun and told him endless apologies. Baekhyun feels dirty and he feels like he’s tainted with some kind of sin that would not be that easy to erase inside of him. It’s clear that Baekhyun would never Chanyeol how he feels. Baekhyun is crying because everything will be different starting tomorrow and Chanyeol might never talk to him ever again.
Baekhyun’s sobs subsided and Chanyeol waited for him to let it all out. He doesn't want to interfere the crying boy in front of him because everything is his fault. Silence engulfed them. Chanyeol faced Baekhyun and moved the fringe that’s covering his face.
“Don’t worry, Baekhyun, I’ll never ignore you again.” With that, Baekhyun knows that everything is slowly falling apart and everything is just starting to begin.
Baekhyun wants to shut all his feelings away because he knows that he will never be Chanyeol’s starring role, he just became the supporting role in his life even though he refuses to be one.
a/n: omygod i finished a smut fic and it's yaoi and jfc this is a first hahahaha
hephep hooray on my first smut yaoi fic
did u guys notice the stream of consciousness in this fic??? no? ok no hahaha
and it's a descriptive fic. it really does not have any dialogues just the important ones i think??
(i secretly dont know how to write dialogues on a smut fic like how even)
my jam to this song is figure 8 by ellie goulding! listen to it!!!1
and yeap idka just -____- thank you for reading~