Smile, Sunshine
So I wrote this short story a month ago, but forgot to post it here. So I'm posting it now.
"Smile, Sunshine"
By Matt Kieley
My senior year of High School this girl showed up out of nowhere asking for a hug. I gave her her hug. She was a year behind. At the end of lunch she asked for another one. So I hugged her. I had no idea who she was, but I knew she was a friend of a friend. I was a little confused because I wasn't used to girls showing me any kind of attention, at least not like that. A few months later at prom, she was sloppily and obnoxiously making out with that other guy. It could have been me. But it wasn't. A few minutes later they disappeared to someone's car for a while. It could have been me. But it wasn't. That's not why I was upset though.
My senior year of high school this girl showed up out of nowhere asking for a hug. She was a year behind. At the end of lunch she asked for another one. So I hugged her. I had no idea who she was, but I knew she was a friend of a friend. I was a little confused because I wasn't used to girls showing me any kind of attention, at least not like that.
My friend was dating this girl, who had a friend. We all hung out together at the infamous (to us) stone tables. She never said much to me, and I never said much to her, yet this affection came from left field. I hate baseball metaphors. Why did I use that? Backspace. We started talking often. She talked to me first. That was new. I was shy. I still have a picture of us that someone took.
My friend got a job. Coincidentally he works with the girl. They graduated together. I graduated a year earlier, because they were a year behind. He called me from work for some reason. She happened to have passed by. He tried to hand her the phone:
Who is it?
The Narrator of the short story we're featured in.
Who???
You know, The Narrator of the short story we're featured in.
(Incomprehensible garble)
Oh. Uh, okay, I guess. Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
What's up?
Oh, just working.
Do you know who this is?
Yeah.
You don't remember me.
I do.
Another minute or so of awkward conversation:
I need to get back to work.
I don't think she remembered me. She said she did, my friend said she did, but I don't believe she did.
My senior year of high school this girl showed up out of nowhere asking for a hug. She was a year behind. At the end of lunch she asked for another one. So I hugged her. I had no idea who she was, but I knew she was a friend of a friend. I was a little confused because I wasn't used to girls showing me any kind of attention, at least not like that.
She told me she liked this guy I knew. She still showed me affection. I wasn't sure what to think. I was anxious. She acts flirtatious, and interested in what I have to say, yet contradicts her behavior by telling me she likes someone else.
Does she like me or not? Should I ask her? I'll ask her out. But she might say no, and that would be emberassing. I could never show my face in front of her ever again. Oh god. What should I do? Make a move? Don't make a move. Make a move. Don't. Yes. No. Yes. No. Do it now. You pussy. Should I? I don't know. Let's wait a while longer. Timing is important. What should I do? Should I make a move. Perhaps I'm over-analyzing things. I'll make a move.
The day after yesterday:
I'm going to do it. I'm going to ask her to prom. I'm going to do it. You can do it. What's the worst that could happen, she says no? Who cares. You can do it. Confidence is good. Do it. I'm going to do it. What's he doing here?
"Hey, you ready to get your bid?"
"Yeah."
Stop smiling. Where did he come from? What about the other guy? Wait, what about me?
Fucking crestfallen. Fucking crestfallen.
What do I do? They're walking away. Walk away.
He walked away. He walked around the campus to clear his head. It didn't work.
"Where did they go?"
"Probably to her car to fuck."
Walk it off.
Sometime earlier:
"Phone."
Hello?
(Weird Voice) Hello, Narrator of this story. Are you a dirty boy?
(Laughter)
What?
(Weird Voice) Have you been bad?
(I say something sarcastic in response)
(Normal, angry voice) God, fuck you.
"What was with that prank call? I think she got mad at me."
"That's because she likes you and was trying to be cute."
Walk it the fuck off.
"So, looks like she's going with that guy."
"That's because he waited so long for you to ask her."
45 minutes later:
"You guys were gone for a while."
Post prom:
"What did you guys do?"
"Oh nothing, he had a headache. We sat there."
My senior year of High School this girl showed up out of nowhere asking for a hug. I gave her her hug. She was a year behind. At the end of lunch she asked for another one. So I hugged her. I had no idea who she was, but I knew she was a friend of a friend. I was a little confused because I wasn't used to girls showing me any kind of attention, at least not like that.
She told me she liked this guy I knew. She still showed me affection. I wasn't sure what to think. I was anxious. She acts flirtatious, and interested in what I have to say, yet contradicts her behavior by telling me she likes someone else. I over-analyzed it. She had apparently waited months for me to ask her to prom, but I hesitated. But I fucking hesitated. The time was nearing. The prom wasn't far away. It was the last day to buy your bids. I got the money, and worked up the nerve to ask her out.
I appraoched her, confident, ready to make my move. I knew exactly what I was going to say. I was anticipating the moment when I could take her aside, to somewhere private, and tell her how I feel, to do the simplest yet most difficult of all playground tasks. It was in slow motion. Not literally, but you know what I mean. It was one of those moments where time slows down, where every heartbeat suffocates you more than the last. I was nearing. There she was. You can do it. You can do it. You can do it. It's time. Time sped back up. He cut me off. "Hey, are you ready to get your bid?" "Yeah." And it was over before I could even register what had happened. They walked off. All I could do was walk around to try and clear my head, but it didn't work.
I was sitting there after they bought their bids. She didn't even say hello to me. It was as if I were dead to her. It was as if I had been re-living through memory an event that had already occured, and had been captured with a photograph. I could barely speak, but I tried. She didn't aknowledge me. Cut to prom the next week. They were making out. She didn't say hello to me. She didn't aknowledge to me. They disappeared.
I was depressed. I had gone alone. I was a mess - My suit was dissheveled and messy. My tie was hanging over my chest, rather than pulled all the way up and fastened. My collar hung gaping open. My shoes were not polished. My hair was not washed. It was one of my existentialist days. Nothing mattered. Or so I pretended, but everyone knew it was a cover. I was obviously depressed. A few people actually told me to cheer up, or asked me what was wrong. She didn't though. I disappeared.
This guy who was a mutal friend, snapped my picture. A year later he posted it all over the internet. He thought it was hilarious. One of my most depressed moments. And not one of my theatrically depressed moments, one where I was genuinely hurt. That night, I went home and slept for twelve hours. We started to talk less and less. She deleted me and assumed a new digital name. Then there was that weird phone conversation where she didn't remember me. My friend says she did. I don't know. Maybe she did, but it didn't feel that way.
They walked away, the new happy couple and her friends. I didn't go. I wasn't invited. I didn't feel like I was invited. I sat there, crestfallen, depressed, sullen. I couldn't move, I just sat there, moping, feeling sorry for myself again. After all this anxiety it ended just the way I had feared, but it was my fault. I blew my only chance. For so long I had longed for attention from a female. I got it, and I ruined my chance because of my own insecurity. What luck. I sat there, feeling sorry for myself. I heard a voice. I looked up to see a black guy standing before me. He said "Smile, Sunshine." Or some shit like that. I think I said "Okay." and he walked away. In retrospect it made sense. At the time I just wanted to mope some more. That moment of depression was mine, it was justified, or so I thought at the time. Although I should have just smiled.
Someone asked me to tell them a story from my life. I don't know what possessed me to tell this one.
My senior year of High School this girl showed up out of nowhere asking for a hug. I gave her her hug. She was a year behind. At the end of lunch she asked for another one. So I hugged her. I had no idea who she was, but I knew she was a friend of a friend. I was a little confused because I wasn't used to girls showing me any kind of attention, at least not like that. It made me happy though. At least I had that moment to cherish.
"Smile, Sunshine"
By Matt Kieley
My senior year of High School this girl showed up out of nowhere asking for a hug. I gave her her hug. She was a year behind. At the end of lunch she asked for another one. So I hugged her. I had no idea who she was, but I knew she was a friend of a friend. I was a little confused because I wasn't used to girls showing me any kind of attention, at least not like that. A few months later at prom, she was sloppily and obnoxiously making out with that other guy. It could have been me. But it wasn't. A few minutes later they disappeared to someone's car for a while. It could have been me. But it wasn't. That's not why I was upset though.
My senior year of high school this girl showed up out of nowhere asking for a hug. She was a year behind. At the end of lunch she asked for another one. So I hugged her. I had no idea who she was, but I knew she was a friend of a friend. I was a little confused because I wasn't used to girls showing me any kind of attention, at least not like that.
My friend was dating this girl, who had a friend. We all hung out together at the infamous (to us) stone tables. She never said much to me, and I never said much to her, yet this affection came from left field. I hate baseball metaphors. Why did I use that? Backspace. We started talking often. She talked to me first. That was new. I was shy. I still have a picture of us that someone took.
My friend got a job. Coincidentally he works with the girl. They graduated together. I graduated a year earlier, because they were a year behind. He called me from work for some reason. She happened to have passed by. He tried to hand her the phone:
Who is it?
The Narrator of the short story we're featured in.
Who???
You know, The Narrator of the short story we're featured in.
(Incomprehensible garble)
Oh. Uh, okay, I guess. Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
What's up?
Oh, just working.
Do you know who this is?
Yeah.
You don't remember me.
I do.
Another minute or so of awkward conversation:
I need to get back to work.
I don't think she remembered me. She said she did, my friend said she did, but I don't believe she did.
My senior year of high school this girl showed up out of nowhere asking for a hug. She was a year behind. At the end of lunch she asked for another one. So I hugged her. I had no idea who she was, but I knew she was a friend of a friend. I was a little confused because I wasn't used to girls showing me any kind of attention, at least not like that.
She told me she liked this guy I knew. She still showed me affection. I wasn't sure what to think. I was anxious. She acts flirtatious, and interested in what I have to say, yet contradicts her behavior by telling me she likes someone else.
Does she like me or not? Should I ask her? I'll ask her out. But she might say no, and that would be emberassing. I could never show my face in front of her ever again. Oh god. What should I do? Make a move? Don't make a move. Make a move. Don't. Yes. No. Yes. No. Do it now. You pussy. Should I? I don't know. Let's wait a while longer. Timing is important. What should I do? Should I make a move. Perhaps I'm over-analyzing things. I'll make a move.
The day after yesterday:
I'm going to do it. I'm going to ask her to prom. I'm going to do it. You can do it. What's the worst that could happen, she says no? Who cares. You can do it. Confidence is good. Do it. I'm going to do it. What's he doing here?
"Hey, you ready to get your bid?"
"Yeah."
Stop smiling. Where did he come from? What about the other guy? Wait, what about me?
Fucking crestfallen. Fucking crestfallen.
What do I do? They're walking away. Walk away.
He walked away. He walked around the campus to clear his head. It didn't work.
"Where did they go?"
"Probably to her car to fuck."
Walk it off.
Sometime earlier:
"Phone."
Hello?
(Weird Voice) Hello, Narrator of this story. Are you a dirty boy?
(Laughter)
What?
(Weird Voice) Have you been bad?
(I say something sarcastic in response)
(Normal, angry voice) God, fuck you.
"What was with that prank call? I think she got mad at me."
"That's because she likes you and was trying to be cute."
Walk it the fuck off.
"So, looks like she's going with that guy."
"That's because he waited so long for you to ask her."
45 minutes later:
"You guys were gone for a while."
Post prom:
"What did you guys do?"
"Oh nothing, he had a headache. We sat there."
My senior year of High School this girl showed up out of nowhere asking for a hug. I gave her her hug. She was a year behind. At the end of lunch she asked for another one. So I hugged her. I had no idea who she was, but I knew she was a friend of a friend. I was a little confused because I wasn't used to girls showing me any kind of attention, at least not like that.
She told me she liked this guy I knew. She still showed me affection. I wasn't sure what to think. I was anxious. She acts flirtatious, and interested in what I have to say, yet contradicts her behavior by telling me she likes someone else. I over-analyzed it. She had apparently waited months for me to ask her to prom, but I hesitated. But I fucking hesitated. The time was nearing. The prom wasn't far away. It was the last day to buy your bids. I got the money, and worked up the nerve to ask her out.
I appraoched her, confident, ready to make my move. I knew exactly what I was going to say. I was anticipating the moment when I could take her aside, to somewhere private, and tell her how I feel, to do the simplest yet most difficult of all playground tasks. It was in slow motion. Not literally, but you know what I mean. It was one of those moments where time slows down, where every heartbeat suffocates you more than the last. I was nearing. There she was. You can do it. You can do it. You can do it. It's time. Time sped back up. He cut me off. "Hey, are you ready to get your bid?" "Yeah." And it was over before I could even register what had happened. They walked off. All I could do was walk around to try and clear my head, but it didn't work.
I was sitting there after they bought their bids. She didn't even say hello to me. It was as if I were dead to her. It was as if I had been re-living through memory an event that had already occured, and had been captured with a photograph. I could barely speak, but I tried. She didn't aknowledge me. Cut to prom the next week. They were making out. She didn't say hello to me. She didn't aknowledge to me. They disappeared.
I was depressed. I had gone alone. I was a mess - My suit was dissheveled and messy. My tie was hanging over my chest, rather than pulled all the way up and fastened. My collar hung gaping open. My shoes were not polished. My hair was not washed. It was one of my existentialist days. Nothing mattered. Or so I pretended, but everyone knew it was a cover. I was obviously depressed. A few people actually told me to cheer up, or asked me what was wrong. She didn't though. I disappeared.
This guy who was a mutal friend, snapped my picture. A year later he posted it all over the internet. He thought it was hilarious. One of my most depressed moments. And not one of my theatrically depressed moments, one where I was genuinely hurt. That night, I went home and slept for twelve hours. We started to talk less and less. She deleted me and assumed a new digital name. Then there was that weird phone conversation where she didn't remember me. My friend says she did. I don't know. Maybe she did, but it didn't feel that way.
They walked away, the new happy couple and her friends. I didn't go. I wasn't invited. I didn't feel like I was invited. I sat there, crestfallen, depressed, sullen. I couldn't move, I just sat there, moping, feeling sorry for myself again. After all this anxiety it ended just the way I had feared, but it was my fault. I blew my only chance. For so long I had longed for attention from a female. I got it, and I ruined my chance because of my own insecurity. What luck. I sat there, feeling sorry for myself. I heard a voice. I looked up to see a black guy standing before me. He said "Smile, Sunshine." Or some shit like that. I think I said "Okay." and he walked away. In retrospect it made sense. At the time I just wanted to mope some more. That moment of depression was mine, it was justified, or so I thought at the time. Although I should have just smiled.
Someone asked me to tell them a story from my life. I don't know what possessed me to tell this one.
My senior year of High School this girl showed up out of nowhere asking for a hug. I gave her her hug. She was a year behind. At the end of lunch she asked for another one. So I hugged her. I had no idea who she was, but I knew she was a friend of a friend. I was a little confused because I wasn't used to girls showing me any kind of attention, at least not like that. It made me happy though. At least I had that moment to cherish.