i went to brand books and i am in love ( Read more... )

i am learning slowly to cook meals for one, to drink iced water, to take my neem capsules twice a day without closing my throat. things seem down, and i can't seem to stop listening to the fountain soundtrack, even on the PM bus, sitting too close to a stranger while i snot and sniffle. i think he must feel kind of uncomfortable, but when i turn ( Read more... )

i want to get away from the city for a few days and live in a long house and build fires and gnaw on tree bark and swim in the river on my back and cut and bruise my legs and not wear my contact lenses and feel hazy and only eat vitamin a for visual purple and look at the sky and capture a cloud and be barefoot and heal my wounds and look at people ( Read more... )

I NEED TO GET AWAY FROM THIS PLACE ( Read more... )

spring is the season when all the attractive, skinny people come out from their hiding holes and make me feel inadequate with their legs and their hair and their freckled faces. in conclusion, i don't like spring.

i am still afraid of losing all the love i think i have. why can't i just feel ok regardless of whether i think people love me or not? oh, probably because i am afraid of being alone. blah blah blah. i am a bag of nerves and hormones.

I FEEL SO MUCH SELF-HATE IT'S UNBELIEVABLE. WHEN AM I GOING TO START LIKING MYSELF? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I AM UNLOVABLE.

I FEEL OBESE ( Read more... )

dear lara ( Read more... )

my life is all off-course. my brain is messy. messy messy messy. i make the same entry every few months, but it's still true. if i could just find some way to organize and rework things, i would be happier with who i am and what i have. and i have a lot. i don't want to be a member of the perpetually discontent bourgeois youth, but that's ( Read more... )