Fic: "White Stars" (Mac, Mac/Jack) PG-13
Fandom: CSI: NY
Title: White Stars
Author: gin200168
Category: Angst, Character study
Spoliers: No
Rating: FRT (for a single bad word)
Pairing: Mac, Mac/OMC (if you squint)
Summary: Mac finally does something he should have done long ago.
Feedback: It makes me very happy. (and might make me acutally FINISH my other NY things in the works) Please leave it.
Authors Notes: The OMC mentioned in here will make SO much more sense if you have read stellaluna_'s "Light From a Dead Star". And you should just read her stuff if you haven't already, cause she's just that good. And I owe her much love for *many* things, including poking me to write in general, encouraging me, helping with edits and things and generally keeping my sanity with writing and life in general.
He walks into Arlington, awed every time he has been here at the vast number of crosses in neat rank and file and their significance. Mac navigates through them carefully, treading lightly, for he feels that he’s walking on almost holy ground-afraid to disturb a fellow soldier’s final resting place.
He stops at a particular one, touches the stone with barely perceptible trembling fingers and sets the flowers clutched tightly in his hand to lean against the base of the stone. He had planned to get something simple and traditional, but these called to him when he saw them in a way he couldn’t explain-paper white, star shaped with a smell that clings to the air like the memories do to the edges of his mind. He sighs mightily, almost scuffing his feet like he was wont to do back in the time of those memories. His normally strong and steady breaths stutter a bit, and his heart pounds in his chest, but he appears outwardly cold to the untrained observer.
He takes a deep breath and looks down, moving his finger just barely back and forth. "I'm… I'm sorry Jack." He smiles deprecatingly, looking down at the stone as if it were the man's face. "I know. It only took me 20 fucking years to say it." He laughs bitterly and takes a deep breath, letting the feelings rush over him for the first time since then.
He jumps as a sudden breeze kicks up and flutters the cuffs of his neatly pressed trousers.
"You bastard." he says to the sky, looking up and letting out a slightly strangled laugh, shaking his head.
Keeping his eyes skyward, he remembers a day, half a world away, watching clouds float by and contemplating the existence of something more, just sharing space and talking to hear the other's voice answer back. It hurts as much as it soothes, and soon it's all just too much. He blinks slowly, straightens up, touches the top of the cross one last time, and walks away.
Fin
2/06
Link to all of my stories
Title: White Stars
Author: gin200168
Category: Angst, Character study
Spoliers: No
Rating: FRT (for a single bad word)
Pairing: Mac, Mac/OMC (if you squint)
Summary: Mac finally does something he should have done long ago.
Feedback: It makes me very happy. (and might make me acutally FINISH my other NY things in the works) Please leave it.
Authors Notes: The OMC mentioned in here will make SO much more sense if you have read stellaluna_'s "Light From a Dead Star". And you should just read her stuff if you haven't already, cause she's just that good. And I owe her much love for *many* things, including poking me to write in general, encouraging me, helping with edits and things and generally keeping my sanity with writing and life in general.
He walks into Arlington, awed every time he has been here at the vast number of crosses in neat rank and file and their significance. Mac navigates through them carefully, treading lightly, for he feels that he’s walking on almost holy ground-afraid to disturb a fellow soldier’s final resting place.
He stops at a particular one, touches the stone with barely perceptible trembling fingers and sets the flowers clutched tightly in his hand to lean against the base of the stone. He had planned to get something simple and traditional, but these called to him when he saw them in a way he couldn’t explain-paper white, star shaped with a smell that clings to the air like the memories do to the edges of his mind. He sighs mightily, almost scuffing his feet like he was wont to do back in the time of those memories. His normally strong and steady breaths stutter a bit, and his heart pounds in his chest, but he appears outwardly cold to the untrained observer.
He takes a deep breath and looks down, moving his finger just barely back and forth. "I'm… I'm sorry Jack." He smiles deprecatingly, looking down at the stone as if it were the man's face. "I know. It only took me 20 fucking years to say it." He laughs bitterly and takes a deep breath, letting the feelings rush over him for the first time since then.
He jumps as a sudden breeze kicks up and flutters the cuffs of his neatly pressed trousers.
"You bastard." he says to the sky, looking up and letting out a slightly strangled laugh, shaking his head.
Keeping his eyes skyward, he remembers a day, half a world away, watching clouds float by and contemplating the existence of something more, just sharing space and talking to hear the other's voice answer back. It hurts as much as it soothes, and soon it's all just too much. He blinks slowly, straightens up, touches the top of the cross one last time, and walks away.
Fin
2/06
Link to all of my stories