I Left My Heart in San Francisco…
The weather in the Bay Area has been unseasonably warm something approaching record highs for March. Gina had missed weather like that, especially in the face of New York winters that just don’t want to end-not to mention that come with snow and sleet and slush and other unpleasant things. It was a feeling she wondered about, sometimes. Angela had said that it was always summer on Avalon… and compared to large chunks of the world, it was always summer in California, too. My own personal Avalon, she thought, without the kooky time-loss.
Griffin was almost enjoying the weather. It was warm enough to be completely invisible and completely comfortable… but he wasn’t. He was dressed, not in his own clothes (which would have been simple indeed, for Gina’s talents), but in some of Owen’s-the sort of thing Owen either never wore, but Gina gave him anyway, or only wore when absolutely no one could see him in them. It looked a bit odd, Griffin in khakis and sneakers, a polo shirt and open sweater, but Gina figured he could dress up as whatever he wanted. He looked warm, anyway, out on the deck in the sun, half-asleep, half admiring the view. She almost didn’t want to disturb him…but decided ‘checking on’ wasn’t the same as ‘disturbing’.
“You look cozy.”
“Mm.”
Which could mean yes, no, kind of, I don’t know, I don’t care, or buzz off. Okay. “Do you want anything? Glass of water? It’s got to be kinda warm in that sweater.”
“I’m all right. There’s a breeze.”
She nodded-there was a breeze, and it was blowing through unseasonably blooming jasmine-that had been Gina’s doing, not the weather’s. She loved the scent. “Sandwich, then? I’m considering dinner…”
“Don’t.”
“Okay.” She settled down in the chair next to his. “Just trying to help.”
Reluctantly, and at length, he replied, “You have been, I think.”
“Oh?” She crammed a lot into the word, and deliberately. Curiosity and pride, mostly.
He nodded-then remembered she couldn’t see it. “A little, anyhow. You’re… quieter, or something very like.”
“Than Julianna and everyone?”
Griffin put on the sunglasses he’d set aside and nodded again.
“Well, I’m only one person. And I’m not trying to save you, just… keep your head above water.”
He nodded again, slowly. “Because of Rose.” She’d explained that to him the very first night-that she didn’t like him much as a person, that she didn’t count him as a friend-but Rose did, and Gina intended to look after Rose’s best interests.
“Because of Rose. And because now I’ve decided to give you a hand, I don’t want to screw up.”
“Afraid of that, are you?”
“I’m an associate hero. It’s… in the job description.” Gina shrugged, smiling. “If you want to make it sound callous instead of heroic, say I don’t want to lose out on my investment.”
He shifted a little in his chair, amused, but didn’t say anything.
“Though I do wonder if I should be doing this… Quite this way, I mean.”
“What way? You’ve just… look, it’s nice here. There’s no one who… there’s no one but you. And you spend most of your time writing.” He gestured at the horizon, the city, the weather. “It’s… nice here. Quiet. I don’t have to do anything. And if I get bored-when I get bored, there’s that telebox-“
“Television. But don’t worry about it.”
“Right. And other sorts of… mindless things, easy things, to do. What is it you think you’re doing wrong?”
“Well… Look.” Gina turned her chair to look at Griffin better. “Rose, though she has a few hallmarks of it, is not a Mary Sue. She doesn’t warp you, or anyone else, around her. You like her for conceivable reasons, not stupid ones, and she doesn’t have any slick powers. I do. I can do things because I was written to do them, because I grew into them, because I need to, and because I want to. And… I don’t know, I guess I just feel bad about using some of the cheats on you.”
She had held him; that had been breaking the rules. She’d done things like stroke his hair or shoulders, just hold onto him-and he’d let her, because it felt nice, because she said that it wasn’t his allowing it, it was her making it feel allowed. “I think I needed it…”
“I know you did. But it’s like force-feeding someone. I understand the need, but I’d rather leave it as a last resort.”
“Oh.” He sounded puzzled.
“I don’t often forget that I’m… human and a bit. That I have all this extra stuff I can do. I can forget, and I have, but it’s a rare thing. I don’t want you to feel like I’m pushing anything onto you. Like I’m invading.”
Slowly, Griffin shook his head. “No… not really. Maybe the bringing me here was… But…”
“Well, come on, I couldn’t let you stay on Kristen’s couch like that. At least there’s a house here, a little privacy. She’s got a good imagination, but she prefers sketchy sets, things she can keep loose, fluid. But sometimes you need more physicality, more doors. I’m not making sense, am I?”
“You couldn’t leave me on the couch. I don’t understand why…”
“I know. You don’t understand a lot of things that people do because they’re…kind, or because they care.”
Through gritted teeth: “It’s bloody frustrating.”
“It’s no big deal.”
The sunglasses swiveled to look at her.
“Well… I thought it was in your best interests to bring you someplace private, someplace far away. My old house seemed like a good idea. But I did it because I help run this place… Kristen keeps the ideas flowing, the characters developing and coming in new and shiny, but I manage it when she’s doing other things. It’s my job. Okay, so it’s not one of the things I was made for, but it’s one of the things I grew into. If I let you flounder when you need to rest, I’d be… shirking my responsibilities.”
“Oh… well, that makes some sense, I suppose.” He paused. “Why wouldn’t they leave me be?”
“I can’t speak for them, I’m sorry.”
He nodded. “Fair enough.”
Gina reached out to squeeze his hand. “You could ask them?”
“I… no. No, I don’t want to do that. I don’t want…”
“You don’t want to hear them say that they care about you.”
“I can’t think why they’d do something like that.”
“Care?”
A nod.
A shrug. “I can’t speak for them.”
“You’re not much help, are you?”
“I’m not here to help. Just to keep you afloat.”
A slow, very slow, nod. “I… can handle that. I think.”
“You ever want me to back off, just tell me.”
“Agreed.”
“Cool.”