Greetings from San Francisco
Gina has been humming for some time, the same two bars over and over, while rocking Griffin as he rests most of his torso in her lap. He stirs, rather suddenly.
Gina: (quietly) You okay?
Griffin: What are you doing?
Gina: Hm?
Griffin: You’re doing something…
Gina: Just… trying to make sure you get some rest.
Griffin: (hesitant) You’re not adding... anything?
Gina: Little dose of… safety, soothing. Why?
Griffin: Don’t.
Gina: Okay… why?
Griffin: I don’t want any more… any more fiddling with me. No more reaching in there and… taking things, or putting them. I hate that.
Gina: That is totally reasonable. And I was going from outside anyway. But I’ll stop…
Griffin: From outside?
Gina: (nods) Instead of reaching into your head, I’m just letting the… uh… vibe? Letting the vibe go out into the room. Around you. It can leak in if you want it or let it.
Griffin: (distasteful) Stewing in your sentiments, then.
Gina: That’s one way to look at it. I don’t have to do it if you don’t want. It’s just… sort of a reflex. I do the same… (sheepish) Uh... with Robbie.
Griffin: You’re treating me like you treat your baby?
Gina: Only when he’s fussy and can’t settle to sleep.
Griffin: (quiet) Don’t… make me feel safe.
Gina: (gently) You are safe, here.
Griffin: But I don’t want… I don’t want someone to tell me I ought to feel it.
Gina: Okay.
Griffin: I shouldn’t have to keep telling people-
Gina: I said okay. Okay. I won’t do it again. I just didn’t think it was invasive. I thought you might like… feeling safe, feeling soothed. That’s all.
Griffin: I don’t like repeating myself. Why don’t people listen the first time?
Gina: First time, I got it. No more… uh… aura-sharing. I need more words.
Griffin: Not you. Or just you, anyway. Everyone. Why didn’t they believe me?
Gina: (smoothes his hair) Honey, I don’t know. Maybe they thought you were stronger than you knew?
Griffin: (unhappily) I don’t have any strength left me.
Gina: Nah, you just need to heal a bit.
Griffin: What if I don’t want to?
Gina: Your call.
Griffin: … Really?
Gina: Yup. I don’t like to think that you want to sit there and hurt, and I really don’t like to think that you’d crawl off somewhere to die again, but it’s your life. It’s your call.
Griffin: You wouldn’t try to stop me?
Gina: I wouldn’t put a razor in your hands. But I won’t deny that it’s your choice.
Griffin: (is quiet for a bit) Thank you.
Gina: Oh? What for?
Griffin: For… (relieved) For letting me… for saying… It’s mine, my life, and you’re not…
Gina: In control of it?
Griffin: (nods)
Gina: Well, I’m not. It’s yours, and I don’t have any business telling you how long it should be. I won’t… I won’t help you off yourself, that’s not in my nature. But if… unless you have second thoughts-and I’d be able to tell-it wouldn’t be my place to interfere.
Griffin: They wouldn’t let me. They said… they made it sound like I could leave, like… like I could go if I wanted, like they would find another place if I wanted, but when I left, they… they came and caught me, and…. (has run from explanation to babbling)
Gina: Shh, honey, I know. I know. It’s okay.
Griffin: (small) They never believe me…
Gina: I’ll let them know, if you want.
Griffin: Do I have to go back?
Gina: Yeah.
Griffin: Then tell them. I can’t… They need to take me seriously…
Gina: Yeah, yeah they do.
Griffin: I don’t understand why they won’t believe me…
Gina: They’ve got a lot of faith in you. More than they should have, I think.
Griffin: (huddles closer-she’s a protective) They shouldn’t. I don’t want them to.
Gina: No touching, no love, no hope… no caring, no faith?
Griffin (nods)
Gina: That’s not giving them a lot to work with…
Griffin: And you forgot, no… no fiddling around.
Gina: Right. No invasive magic.
Griffin: Right.
Gina: Griffin… seriously, now. Do you want the witches to be able to help you at all?
Griffin: … I don’t know.
Gina: Hypothetically, remove suicide as an option. Do you want their help?
Griffin: (miserably) I don’t know. I don’t… think so…
Gina: That’s… interesting.
Griffin: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Gina: Just that it’s… surprising, a little, that you don’t want their help. Not that you don’t want their help, because you’re actually probably justifiably angry… at least at Julianna. But… do you want anyone’s help to heal?
Griffin: I don’t know.
Gina: Well, will you give it some thought, and then tell me?
Griffin: I really do want… and no one listens, but I really do want to be left alone.
Gina: To be clear. Alone, as in singular and by yourself, no one around, or alone as in no more interference?
Griffin: … I don’t know. I hadn’t considered…
Gina: Maybe you should.
Griffin: At least the second. No more interfering, no more… active helping. At least…
Gina: Go on. At least?
Griffin: Not when I’m not ready. Not when I don’t ask for it. Not… for a good long while. And if they can’t manage that, then I want them to leave. Or I want to leave them.
Gina: (nods seriously) I’ll pass that along, then, I guess.
Griffin: (nods)
Gina: Are you sleeping on the couch again tonight?
Griffin: (nods) Stay a bit? I’ve got a headache…
Gina: I can get you some ibuprofen… or just fix it…
Griffin: No. No, I’m just tired. I just… want something warm…
Gina: (smoothes his hair, rubs his shoulder a little) Okay.
Griffin: I wouldn’t be letting you do this if it weren’t for your… whatever.
Gina: (smiles) Ability to warp reality.
Griffin: (nods)
Gina: (quietly) Is there anything I can do to help you sleep?
Griffin: (shakes head) No. No tricks but the one. Just let me be, for the most part.
Gina: Okay. (is quiet)
Eventually, Griffin falls asleep and Gina leaves him, on the couch, covered with a blanket.
Gina: (quietly) You okay?
Griffin: What are you doing?
Gina: Hm?
Griffin: You’re doing something…
Gina: Just… trying to make sure you get some rest.
Griffin: (hesitant) You’re not adding... anything?
Gina: Little dose of… safety, soothing. Why?
Griffin: Don’t.
Gina: Okay… why?
Griffin: I don’t want any more… any more fiddling with me. No more reaching in there and… taking things, or putting them. I hate that.
Gina: That is totally reasonable. And I was going from outside anyway. But I’ll stop…
Griffin: From outside?
Gina: (nods) Instead of reaching into your head, I’m just letting the… uh… vibe? Letting the vibe go out into the room. Around you. It can leak in if you want it or let it.
Griffin: (distasteful) Stewing in your sentiments, then.
Gina: That’s one way to look at it. I don’t have to do it if you don’t want. It’s just… sort of a reflex. I do the same… (sheepish) Uh... with Robbie.
Griffin: You’re treating me like you treat your baby?
Gina: Only when he’s fussy and can’t settle to sleep.
Griffin: (quiet) Don’t… make me feel safe.
Gina: (gently) You are safe, here.
Griffin: But I don’t want… I don’t want someone to tell me I ought to feel it.
Gina: Okay.
Griffin: I shouldn’t have to keep telling people-
Gina: I said okay. Okay. I won’t do it again. I just didn’t think it was invasive. I thought you might like… feeling safe, feeling soothed. That’s all.
Griffin: I don’t like repeating myself. Why don’t people listen the first time?
Gina: First time, I got it. No more… uh… aura-sharing. I need more words.
Griffin: Not you. Or just you, anyway. Everyone. Why didn’t they believe me?
Gina: (smoothes his hair) Honey, I don’t know. Maybe they thought you were stronger than you knew?
Griffin: (unhappily) I don’t have any strength left me.
Gina: Nah, you just need to heal a bit.
Griffin: What if I don’t want to?
Gina: Your call.
Griffin: … Really?
Gina: Yup. I don’t like to think that you want to sit there and hurt, and I really don’t like to think that you’d crawl off somewhere to die again, but it’s your life. It’s your call.
Griffin: You wouldn’t try to stop me?
Gina: I wouldn’t put a razor in your hands. But I won’t deny that it’s your choice.
Griffin: (is quiet for a bit) Thank you.
Gina: Oh? What for?
Griffin: For… (relieved) For letting me… for saying… It’s mine, my life, and you’re not…
Gina: In control of it?
Griffin: (nods)
Gina: Well, I’m not. It’s yours, and I don’t have any business telling you how long it should be. I won’t… I won’t help you off yourself, that’s not in my nature. But if… unless you have second thoughts-and I’d be able to tell-it wouldn’t be my place to interfere.
Griffin: They wouldn’t let me. They said… they made it sound like I could leave, like… like I could go if I wanted, like they would find another place if I wanted, but when I left, they… they came and caught me, and…. (has run from explanation to babbling)
Gina: Shh, honey, I know. I know. It’s okay.
Griffin: (small) They never believe me…
Gina: I’ll let them know, if you want.
Griffin: Do I have to go back?
Gina: Yeah.
Griffin: Then tell them. I can’t… They need to take me seriously…
Gina: Yeah, yeah they do.
Griffin: I don’t understand why they won’t believe me…
Gina: They’ve got a lot of faith in you. More than they should have, I think.
Griffin: (huddles closer-she’s a protective) They shouldn’t. I don’t want them to.
Gina: No touching, no love, no hope… no caring, no faith?
Griffin (nods)
Gina: That’s not giving them a lot to work with…
Griffin: And you forgot, no… no fiddling around.
Gina: Right. No invasive magic.
Griffin: Right.
Gina: Griffin… seriously, now. Do you want the witches to be able to help you at all?
Griffin: … I don’t know.
Gina: Hypothetically, remove suicide as an option. Do you want their help?
Griffin: (miserably) I don’t know. I don’t… think so…
Gina: That’s… interesting.
Griffin: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Gina: Just that it’s… surprising, a little, that you don’t want their help. Not that you don’t want their help, because you’re actually probably justifiably angry… at least at Julianna. But… do you want anyone’s help to heal?
Griffin: I don’t know.
Gina: Well, will you give it some thought, and then tell me?
Griffin: I really do want… and no one listens, but I really do want to be left alone.
Gina: To be clear. Alone, as in singular and by yourself, no one around, or alone as in no more interference?
Griffin: … I don’t know. I hadn’t considered…
Gina: Maybe you should.
Griffin: At least the second. No more interfering, no more… active helping. At least…
Gina: Go on. At least?
Griffin: Not when I’m not ready. Not when I don’t ask for it. Not… for a good long while. And if they can’t manage that, then I want them to leave. Or I want to leave them.
Gina: (nods seriously) I’ll pass that along, then, I guess.
Griffin: (nods)
Gina: Are you sleeping on the couch again tonight?
Griffin: (nods) Stay a bit? I’ve got a headache…
Gina: I can get you some ibuprofen… or just fix it…
Griffin: No. No, I’m just tired. I just… want something warm…
Gina: (smoothes his hair, rubs his shoulder a little) Okay.
Griffin: I wouldn’t be letting you do this if it weren’t for your… whatever.
Gina: (smiles) Ability to warp reality.
Griffin: (nods)
Gina: (quietly) Is there anything I can do to help you sleep?
Griffin: (shakes head) No. No tricks but the one. Just let me be, for the most part.
Gina: Okay. (is quiet)
Eventually, Griffin falls asleep and Gina leaves him, on the couch, covered with a blanket.