WMAW 2009
WMAW 2009
“There are things you do because they feel right & they may make no sense & they may make no money & it may be the real reason we are here: to love each other & to eat each other's cooking & say it was good.”
I arrived at O’Hare on Wednesday evening a bit early as the flight was direct and undelayed. I quickly walked down to the baggage area and grabbed my rifle case, then made my way outside to wait for my ride from Joe R. Joe was delayed in traffic, so I was able to take some time to just sit and relax and prepare for coming out of my shell and meeting so many people I have looked up to for so long… Shortly thereafter Joe pulled up and we threw my equipment into his car and drove to Racine.
When we arrived, I got out of the car and walked my way up to Taylor Hall where I met people already drinking, laughing and relaxing outside. I was immediately folded in arms, offered a drink and made to feel at home. Time passed swiftly and before I knew it, the evening had become morning and I said my goodnights and went to bed.
Thursday I awoke to the sounds of laughter, feet tromping up and down stairs and voices from many countries. Breakfast and a short meeting of instructors later, I found myself at a class given by Tony Wolf on biomechanics. Immediately, I was overwhelmed with the grace with which Tony moves and his deliberate muscular control. This is a theme that repeated itself over the weekend - observation of movement dynamics of a variety of people and determining what I could learn from it.
After his class, I was off to instruct my own. I wasn’t overcome with nerves, which greatly surprised me, but I think I’d already put on my “extrovert” hat the night before. My students were observant, asked great questions, and seemed to be enjoying the material. I forgot to have them warm up (note to self: when you make class notes don’t forget to put in things like “warm up” or you won’t do it) but was told afterwards that people appreciated that as they would rather do more techniques than to warm up. Jorg and Pete seemed to have a great time, and were extrapolating from the beginning positions and I simply let them and trusted to their skills and experience to keep them from doing something stupid and getting hurt. If I were to teach this class again, I would have made sure that I had people trade partners as I think that some who were paired with more timid partners might have gotten more out of it if occasionally paired with people who were more vigorous. At the same time, there is something to be said for the familiarity of the opponent when dealing with wrestling techniques. I was fully pleased with the class, and it seemed to be well-received, so honestly I have no complaints.
“For a long time, she flew only when she thought no one else was watching.”
The completion of my class then led to the somewhat embarrassing experience of being told over and over that I was a great martial artist, that my class was awesome, and all other manner of complimentary comments. Don’t get me wrong, I really appreciate positive feedback and I absolutely am glad that everyone enjoyed the class. I wouldn’t want it any other way. That being said, I have always preferred to work without comment, and am not particularly good at taking compliments. Time and time again I found myself thanking someone for their comments and staring at the ground as I couldn’t make eye contact anymore … it was just too much for me.
I ended up taking 45 minutes after my class to talk with people, film extra techniques from my class for the documentary film crew, and just get my brain together. As I was already too late to participate in Guy’s “Decision Making for the Instructor” class, I simply stood in the corner and audited it. I think I’d have gotten much out of it if I’d been able to concentrate, but as it was it’s something that I will have to read the class notes and drop Guy e-mails for any questions I have.
The evening I spent working with Cory W. on techniques from Ott, and seeing his interpretation of much of the Codex Wallerstien wrestling techniques.
It is not my job to teach historical techniques, but rather to use historical techniques to make martial artists.
Of course I stayed up late and rose early to Guy’s “Developing and Understanding the Role of Solo Forms in WMA” class. WOW. This class was the first of many pivotal points for me in my understanding of my role as an instructor of WMA. I will need to spend much time to really fully internalize what I learned, but the short-form is that I created a form in 10 minutes, and was able to have it analyzed by Guy. I was so overwhelmingly nervous when I went to do the form that I was shaking with adrenalin. I barely performed the form at all, as I was sensory-overloaded. I am not sure why, but though I hardly spent any time with him, and only took the one class, Guy was instrumental to the lessons I learned this week.
We ate lunch while watching a great mounted combat demonstration from Theresa, then it was off to help Christian instruct the Nebenhut class. Our students at this class were quite focused, though it was clear that fighting from the left was new to many of them. The footwork again and again caused problems, just reiterating for me as an instructor that when you have new techniques for the upper body, the lower half just gets left behind.
Next, I had intended to participate in Meyer’s staff and the Iberian Montante, but this was just beyond my capabilities. I can’t remember for sure what all I was doing during this time, but I spent it well, with one-on-one techniques and conversations with a variety of people.
Dinner was eaten outside on the grass as we watched a number of armored bouts. They were fast and furious, and I thoroughly enjoyed getting to see high-level bouts.
Later that evening was “Coached Wrestling” out under the torchlights in the grass. It was a great time, and I was handed my ass any number of ways. This was not surprising to me, but what was rather surprising was that I had forgotten most all of my ground work. Fortunately, this is not in vain, as I had the perfect class the next morning to resolve this issue.
One must not allow the lowest-intensity student to set the intensity of the class else all are deprived of the experience of excellence.
Saturday morning I awoke again to the sounds that I will most take away, of tromping feet, of excited movement and voices of all manner of accents.
This morning was spent with Dr. Les Moore at his “American Catch-Wrestling” class. I was able to learn so much in such a short time! While I’d have never considered before structuring an entire class around a single wrist lock, it was incredible. I learned not only how to get it, but how to counter it, and how to keep someone from countering it. My partner for this class had a small injury to his ribs, and I felt so bad because I kept hitting it, but he really was a good sport about it. Another highlight of this class was Dr. Bill helping us out as he couldn’t really participate as fully as he’d have liked.
After lunch I had planned to take Bill G.’s class on “Running a successful practice session” but Christian needed assistance with his spear class, so off I was to do spear. Though I was physically tired, I think I did ok. There were some great moments, for instance when Christian followed through with a spear technique and popped my head back hard. He said, “Oh, sorry Jess,” and I replied, “No, it was good. Pez dispenser.” Everyone cracked up, including Christian, who I nearly killed as he’d never heard this term before.
A short break later, it was off to Jorg’s class on Winden. It was an amazing time learning the Windings from his perspective. Nothing was all that different, other than the lower hengen, which I hadn’t considered from the Unterhau before. I think it’s a great place to teach it from, and I will need to look over my notes to incorporate it better into place.
Again, I was supposed to be in the Meyer’s Dagger class, but unfortunately my brain (and body, quite frankly) was too far gone by that point to truly get into it. Instead, I watched from the sidelines, and then cut out early to go shower and get ready for the feast.
“European Men speak things Americans can’t say even to themselves”
The feast highlighted for me the uncomfortable feelings I had regarding my exposure to the community. I had intended to go sit with everyone else, but Christian pointed me up front to the “high table” and so off I went. Being the only woman up there highlighted the awkwardness of my position. I felt quite naked. Also, as the instructors ate first, and they were mostly European men, I was pushed to the front of the line. I was the first of 200 people to get dinner. This was, again, an exposed moment, a moment that made me curl up inside just a little bit, when Roland W. came over to me and said, “Do you often receive compliments?” I said, “Well, no,” and laughed nervously. He said, “I thought not as beautiful women are never told just how beautiful they are because men get nervous. I thought you should know just how beautiful you are - and that we are all discussing it and agree.” I was… flabbergasted. He continued, “Tom even said, ‘The light dims for me when Jessica walks away.’” What exactly am I supposed to say to that? I just tried my best to take it gracefully.
During the feast, there were a number of bouts that were incredible. George Hill said on SFI “I had no idea that I.33 could be so fast”. I have to agree… but not really that I.33 could be so fast, but rather, that I had no idea just how skilled my fellow instructors were. Of course I knew that they were highly talented… but that only begins to touch the level of art that was displayed. If I’d known before what I know now, I am not sure that I would have accepted a teaching post.
After dinner, was the real celebration of the event. People were drinking copious amounts of beer, wine and cocktails, and a “confessional” was even set up at the bar. I confessed twice, much to the amusement of my fellows who apparently thought that I am a quite reserved person. They, then, greatly over-estimated my drunkenness. Two cocktails, however strong, are not enough to take Jessrica to the floor. That being said, it highlighted for me the difference between my personality when I am nervous and stuffed in a large crowd of people I don’t know, and my actual personality. A few really great jokes came out of that night at my expense, but let’s be honest, I am fine with that. I ended up only getting about 2 hours of sleep that night, as there was a logistical snafu with my room, and I didn’t want to interrupt. Alan described WMAW as “collegiate” and let’s just say that is accurate in more ways than one….
“Maybe they didn’t know how to fall…”
Sunday I didn’t participate in any classes though I did audit many. I spent the morning involved in an amazing discussion of medieval wrestling and context with Dave, Dr. Bill, Greg, George and Josh. It was so in depth and enlightening that all involved agreed that the conversation must continue online and that recommendations should be developed from our conclusions.
I sat in on Tom Leoni’s lecture on the Judicial Duel, which was incredible. While I’d read his essay on his website, it came to life for me being described in Tom’s colorful way, Italian accent and all. During lunch we were treated to yet another demonstration of mounted combat, and I think all of our assumptions about the “simplicity” of mounted combat were challenged. In fact, seeing the testing and teasing footwork being used by horses was a thing to cherish.
Dr. Bill’s class on the Drei Ringen was quite nice, as he included much of the conclusions we’d come to just that morning in his class. When I asked him “Dr. Bill, just what were you going to teach if we hadn’t had that discussion this morning?” He grinned with a wicked glint in his eye and said, “This is an organic Art. I must immediately incorporate what I learn.”
“Flow, don’t stop.”
I next found Jorg and spent time getting one-on-one instruction with regards to my structure and how I frame the guards. He had some very relevant critiques of my form, and just the smallest shifts make a huge difference in the feel of my strike. He also indicated that I am fighting my sword, which I agree is true. I think this is in large part due to my fears of dropping my sword related to the grip problems I am having. I will need to find a way to resolve this, much to the better.
I cleaned up and we all went to dinner at a very nice Italian Family-Style restaurant, then it was back to Taylor Hall for Spoonfechten. Christian and Greg are such showmen, that even though both parties knew they were being had, they just went with it. It was likely the last experience of Spoonfechten I will ever see, as all agreed the legend had grown too big, and gone too far too continue. Most everyone knows about the gag, even if they’d never experienced or seen it. I’m glad I was there for it. I’d never before considered “Spoonfechten in the Greek style”.
After this, many people went home or to bed as it was already quite late. I hung out for a while, but after being so short on sleep the night before, I knew the only way to survive was to tuck in “early”. So I was off to bed around 3 am, with much regret.
“She said she usually cried at least once each day not because she was sad, but because the world was so beautiful & life was so short.”
I woke up earlier than my alarm (as I’d done every day at WMAW), hearing again the tromping of feet and the sound of voices I knew. By now, I could recognize who was talking from my room, and they were all people I wanted to say farewell to.
I showered and went down for breakfast. I sat down across from Guy and he saw me taking my medicine and asked in a very Guy way, “Are you taking drugs?” “Yep,” I said. “What are they for?” he demanded, but then added, “Of course, it’s personal and you can tell me it’s none of my business.” I considered doing so for a few moments, then realized that’s just not me. So I told him straight-up why I was taking them. “Right,” he said, “that sucks.” Actually, he used some British term which I can’t remember now, but that was the sentiment and not another word was said about that. Shortly thereafter, Tom and a CSG member sat down and they all got into a religious debate, which I found quite entertaining, and I came and went from this conversation a number of times as it lasted so long.
Then came time to wander about and say my goodbyes. I promised Guy a bout the next time we meet. More times than I can count, I had to hide in a corner and cry. Roland gave me a reproduction medieval coin and kissed me on the cheek. In fact, by the time I got to Greg, I said “Thank you for letting me come” and began to weep openly. “Don’t cry,” he said, “or I’ll cry too.” He knows more intimately than anyone else there just why I feel this so deeply.
A number of times on the ride home I found tears streaming down my face, and had to hide it from Rob as I didn’t want to upset him too much. On the plane, I leaned my head into the window, watched the land roll out beneath me, and let the tears go.
***
WMAW is a magical place in space and time. I know why those who have gone there have yearned to return. I was able to fully concentrate on the Art of Combat, to learn what the holes in my art were, but even better, I was given the tools to fix them.
And while I appreciate all that I learned, while I know just how magnificent those tools I was handed are, that is the minimum of my experience.
I experienced with you, my friends, my brothers, my fellow martial artists, a communion of souls that I honestly didn’t know I could. I saw reflections of my former lives in you; reflections that showed me with heart-wrenching clarity that those earlier moments of beauty were preparation for this moment, for this time.
I pray to God and St. George that I will again experience this in its fullness - for my frailty and darkness was never before as highlighted as in the purity of this light.
“There are things you do because they feel right & they may make no sense & they may make no money & it may be the real reason we are here: to love each other & to eat each other's cooking & say it was good.”
I arrived at O’Hare on Wednesday evening a bit early as the flight was direct and undelayed. I quickly walked down to the baggage area and grabbed my rifle case, then made my way outside to wait for my ride from Joe R. Joe was delayed in traffic, so I was able to take some time to just sit and relax and prepare for coming out of my shell and meeting so many people I have looked up to for so long… Shortly thereafter Joe pulled up and we threw my equipment into his car and drove to Racine.
When we arrived, I got out of the car and walked my way up to Taylor Hall where I met people already drinking, laughing and relaxing outside. I was immediately folded in arms, offered a drink and made to feel at home. Time passed swiftly and before I knew it, the evening had become morning and I said my goodnights and went to bed.
Thursday I awoke to the sounds of laughter, feet tromping up and down stairs and voices from many countries. Breakfast and a short meeting of instructors later, I found myself at a class given by Tony Wolf on biomechanics. Immediately, I was overwhelmed with the grace with which Tony moves and his deliberate muscular control. This is a theme that repeated itself over the weekend - observation of movement dynamics of a variety of people and determining what I could learn from it.
After his class, I was off to instruct my own. I wasn’t overcome with nerves, which greatly surprised me, but I think I’d already put on my “extrovert” hat the night before. My students were observant, asked great questions, and seemed to be enjoying the material. I forgot to have them warm up (note to self: when you make class notes don’t forget to put in things like “warm up” or you won’t do it) but was told afterwards that people appreciated that as they would rather do more techniques than to warm up. Jorg and Pete seemed to have a great time, and were extrapolating from the beginning positions and I simply let them and trusted to their skills and experience to keep them from doing something stupid and getting hurt. If I were to teach this class again, I would have made sure that I had people trade partners as I think that some who were paired with more timid partners might have gotten more out of it if occasionally paired with people who were more vigorous. At the same time, there is something to be said for the familiarity of the opponent when dealing with wrestling techniques. I was fully pleased with the class, and it seemed to be well-received, so honestly I have no complaints.
“For a long time, she flew only when she thought no one else was watching.”
The completion of my class then led to the somewhat embarrassing experience of being told over and over that I was a great martial artist, that my class was awesome, and all other manner of complimentary comments. Don’t get me wrong, I really appreciate positive feedback and I absolutely am glad that everyone enjoyed the class. I wouldn’t want it any other way. That being said, I have always preferred to work without comment, and am not particularly good at taking compliments. Time and time again I found myself thanking someone for their comments and staring at the ground as I couldn’t make eye contact anymore … it was just too much for me.
I ended up taking 45 minutes after my class to talk with people, film extra techniques from my class for the documentary film crew, and just get my brain together. As I was already too late to participate in Guy’s “Decision Making for the Instructor” class, I simply stood in the corner and audited it. I think I’d have gotten much out of it if I’d been able to concentrate, but as it was it’s something that I will have to read the class notes and drop Guy e-mails for any questions I have.
The evening I spent working with Cory W. on techniques from Ott, and seeing his interpretation of much of the Codex Wallerstien wrestling techniques.
It is not my job to teach historical techniques, but rather to use historical techniques to make martial artists.
Of course I stayed up late and rose early to Guy’s “Developing and Understanding the Role of Solo Forms in WMA” class. WOW. This class was the first of many pivotal points for me in my understanding of my role as an instructor of WMA. I will need to spend much time to really fully internalize what I learned, but the short-form is that I created a form in 10 minutes, and was able to have it analyzed by Guy. I was so overwhelmingly nervous when I went to do the form that I was shaking with adrenalin. I barely performed the form at all, as I was sensory-overloaded. I am not sure why, but though I hardly spent any time with him, and only took the one class, Guy was instrumental to the lessons I learned this week.
We ate lunch while watching a great mounted combat demonstration from Theresa, then it was off to help Christian instruct the Nebenhut class. Our students at this class were quite focused, though it was clear that fighting from the left was new to many of them. The footwork again and again caused problems, just reiterating for me as an instructor that when you have new techniques for the upper body, the lower half just gets left behind.
Next, I had intended to participate in Meyer’s staff and the Iberian Montante, but this was just beyond my capabilities. I can’t remember for sure what all I was doing during this time, but I spent it well, with one-on-one techniques and conversations with a variety of people.
Dinner was eaten outside on the grass as we watched a number of armored bouts. They were fast and furious, and I thoroughly enjoyed getting to see high-level bouts.
Later that evening was “Coached Wrestling” out under the torchlights in the grass. It was a great time, and I was handed my ass any number of ways. This was not surprising to me, but what was rather surprising was that I had forgotten most all of my ground work. Fortunately, this is not in vain, as I had the perfect class the next morning to resolve this issue.
One must not allow the lowest-intensity student to set the intensity of the class else all are deprived of the experience of excellence.
Saturday morning I awoke again to the sounds that I will most take away, of tromping feet, of excited movement and voices of all manner of accents.
This morning was spent with Dr. Les Moore at his “American Catch-Wrestling” class. I was able to learn so much in such a short time! While I’d have never considered before structuring an entire class around a single wrist lock, it was incredible. I learned not only how to get it, but how to counter it, and how to keep someone from countering it. My partner for this class had a small injury to his ribs, and I felt so bad because I kept hitting it, but he really was a good sport about it. Another highlight of this class was Dr. Bill helping us out as he couldn’t really participate as fully as he’d have liked.
After lunch I had planned to take Bill G.’s class on “Running a successful practice session” but Christian needed assistance with his spear class, so off I was to do spear. Though I was physically tired, I think I did ok. There were some great moments, for instance when Christian followed through with a spear technique and popped my head back hard. He said, “Oh, sorry Jess,” and I replied, “No, it was good. Pez dispenser.” Everyone cracked up, including Christian, who I nearly killed as he’d never heard this term before.
A short break later, it was off to Jorg’s class on Winden. It was an amazing time learning the Windings from his perspective. Nothing was all that different, other than the lower hengen, which I hadn’t considered from the Unterhau before. I think it’s a great place to teach it from, and I will need to look over my notes to incorporate it better into place.
Again, I was supposed to be in the Meyer’s Dagger class, but unfortunately my brain (and body, quite frankly) was too far gone by that point to truly get into it. Instead, I watched from the sidelines, and then cut out early to go shower and get ready for the feast.
“European Men speak things Americans can’t say even to themselves”
The feast highlighted for me the uncomfortable feelings I had regarding my exposure to the community. I had intended to go sit with everyone else, but Christian pointed me up front to the “high table” and so off I went. Being the only woman up there highlighted the awkwardness of my position. I felt quite naked. Also, as the instructors ate first, and they were mostly European men, I was pushed to the front of the line. I was the first of 200 people to get dinner. This was, again, an exposed moment, a moment that made me curl up inside just a little bit, when Roland W. came over to me and said, “Do you often receive compliments?” I said, “Well, no,” and laughed nervously. He said, “I thought not as beautiful women are never told just how beautiful they are because men get nervous. I thought you should know just how beautiful you are - and that we are all discussing it and agree.” I was… flabbergasted. He continued, “Tom even said, ‘The light dims for me when Jessica walks away.’” What exactly am I supposed to say to that? I just tried my best to take it gracefully.
During the feast, there were a number of bouts that were incredible. George Hill said on SFI “I had no idea that I.33 could be so fast”. I have to agree… but not really that I.33 could be so fast, but rather, that I had no idea just how skilled my fellow instructors were. Of course I knew that they were highly talented… but that only begins to touch the level of art that was displayed. If I’d known before what I know now, I am not sure that I would have accepted a teaching post.
After dinner, was the real celebration of the event. People were drinking copious amounts of beer, wine and cocktails, and a “confessional” was even set up at the bar. I confessed twice, much to the amusement of my fellows who apparently thought that I am a quite reserved person. They, then, greatly over-estimated my drunkenness. Two cocktails, however strong, are not enough to take Jessrica to the floor. That being said, it highlighted for me the difference between my personality when I am nervous and stuffed in a large crowd of people I don’t know, and my actual personality. A few really great jokes came out of that night at my expense, but let’s be honest, I am fine with that. I ended up only getting about 2 hours of sleep that night, as there was a logistical snafu with my room, and I didn’t want to interrupt. Alan described WMAW as “collegiate” and let’s just say that is accurate in more ways than one….
“Maybe they didn’t know how to fall…”
Sunday I didn’t participate in any classes though I did audit many. I spent the morning involved in an amazing discussion of medieval wrestling and context with Dave, Dr. Bill, Greg, George and Josh. It was so in depth and enlightening that all involved agreed that the conversation must continue online and that recommendations should be developed from our conclusions.
I sat in on Tom Leoni’s lecture on the Judicial Duel, which was incredible. While I’d read his essay on his website, it came to life for me being described in Tom’s colorful way, Italian accent and all. During lunch we were treated to yet another demonstration of mounted combat, and I think all of our assumptions about the “simplicity” of mounted combat were challenged. In fact, seeing the testing and teasing footwork being used by horses was a thing to cherish.
Dr. Bill’s class on the Drei Ringen was quite nice, as he included much of the conclusions we’d come to just that morning in his class. When I asked him “Dr. Bill, just what were you going to teach if we hadn’t had that discussion this morning?” He grinned with a wicked glint in his eye and said, “This is an organic Art. I must immediately incorporate what I learn.”
“Flow, don’t stop.”
I next found Jorg and spent time getting one-on-one instruction with regards to my structure and how I frame the guards. He had some very relevant critiques of my form, and just the smallest shifts make a huge difference in the feel of my strike. He also indicated that I am fighting my sword, which I agree is true. I think this is in large part due to my fears of dropping my sword related to the grip problems I am having. I will need to find a way to resolve this, much to the better.
I cleaned up and we all went to dinner at a very nice Italian Family-Style restaurant, then it was back to Taylor Hall for Spoonfechten. Christian and Greg are such showmen, that even though both parties knew they were being had, they just went with it. It was likely the last experience of Spoonfechten I will ever see, as all agreed the legend had grown too big, and gone too far too continue. Most everyone knows about the gag, even if they’d never experienced or seen it. I’m glad I was there for it. I’d never before considered “Spoonfechten in the Greek style”.
After this, many people went home or to bed as it was already quite late. I hung out for a while, but after being so short on sleep the night before, I knew the only way to survive was to tuck in “early”. So I was off to bed around 3 am, with much regret.
“She said she usually cried at least once each day not because she was sad, but because the world was so beautiful & life was so short.”
I woke up earlier than my alarm (as I’d done every day at WMAW), hearing again the tromping of feet and the sound of voices I knew. By now, I could recognize who was talking from my room, and they were all people I wanted to say farewell to.
I showered and went down for breakfast. I sat down across from Guy and he saw me taking my medicine and asked in a very Guy way, “Are you taking drugs?” “Yep,” I said. “What are they for?” he demanded, but then added, “Of course, it’s personal and you can tell me it’s none of my business.” I considered doing so for a few moments, then realized that’s just not me. So I told him straight-up why I was taking them. “Right,” he said, “that sucks.” Actually, he used some British term which I can’t remember now, but that was the sentiment and not another word was said about that. Shortly thereafter, Tom and a CSG member sat down and they all got into a religious debate, which I found quite entertaining, and I came and went from this conversation a number of times as it lasted so long.
Then came time to wander about and say my goodbyes. I promised Guy a bout the next time we meet. More times than I can count, I had to hide in a corner and cry. Roland gave me a reproduction medieval coin and kissed me on the cheek. In fact, by the time I got to Greg, I said “Thank you for letting me come” and began to weep openly. “Don’t cry,” he said, “or I’ll cry too.” He knows more intimately than anyone else there just why I feel this so deeply.
A number of times on the ride home I found tears streaming down my face, and had to hide it from Rob as I didn’t want to upset him too much. On the plane, I leaned my head into the window, watched the land roll out beneath me, and let the tears go.
***
WMAW is a magical place in space and time. I know why those who have gone there have yearned to return. I was able to fully concentrate on the Art of Combat, to learn what the holes in my art were, but even better, I was given the tools to fix them.
And while I appreciate all that I learned, while I know just how magnificent those tools I was handed are, that is the minimum of my experience.
I experienced with you, my friends, my brothers, my fellow martial artists, a communion of souls that I honestly didn’t know I could. I saw reflections of my former lives in you; reflections that showed me with heart-wrenching clarity that those earlier moments of beauty were preparation for this moment, for this time.
I pray to God and St. George that I will again experience this in its fullness - for my frailty and darkness was never before as highlighted as in the purity of this light.