Sadness..
It happened again just now.
I'm crying my eyes out over something I saw in Advent Children Complete. For those of you who know me, know how emotional my muses can be and who have seen the movie already, you'll probably understand.
I will never watch the movie again.
Angeal muse is crying his heart out and it was so sudden, I cried out very loudly and began to bawl. I can't stop. The saying 'once you see something, you can't unsee it' has never rang so true as it did tonight. My weekend came to a crashing halt just now and I'm afraid that my muse may be permanently broken.
He's curled up on his bed crying and it's transferring to me. I can't even finish watching the movie. I knew this would happen and I brought it on myself by watching it anyway. Just looking at certain images and hearing people talk about Crisis Core and AC make Angeal upset, so why would I do this to him?
They're muses and not real, but yet they feel so real. His sadness upsets me and I've got to have some kind of mental illness to be so distraught that I can't see straight through the tears and overwhelming sadness that's gripping my chest and making it hard to breathe.
Call me an idiot or a fool for being upset over make believe characters and whatever else you'd like, but my heart is breaking again and I can't fucking make it stop.
Edit: I did finish watching the movie, after an hour of crying in bed and a weak attempt at pacifying Angeal with an Angeal/Sephiroth RP. The ending made him start all over again and honestly, I'm happier with the American cut version that we've all seen and have grown to love. This version was longer, had more detail, more backstory, more Turk stuff and a better soundtrack, but I liked the plainness of the first one released in North America.
Also, I'm glad we didn't manage to find the time to watch it during the weekend at Anime North. I would've been a shuddering, crying wreck all weekend and would've ruined the whole con for everyone. I can cry in front of people but when the tears I'm shedding aren't my own and are simply being shown through me because of how distraught my muses are, it gets complicated, weird and could be considered a mental instability.
That is all.