I stayed home from work today with a migraine. I always feel guilty for staying home, even when I need to stay home.

It's 3:30, it's sunny, (as sunny as Washington state can be in January after 3pm anyway), and my apartment is quiet. Everything is quiet. I love my life so much that it makes me afraid that something bad is going to happen, like a ( Read more... )

I spent my night last night eating junk and watching rubbish. My partner was working, his daughter just moved out, my son was at his boyfriend's house. I got stoned by myself and watched the Home Alone movies and reveled in the feelings that Kevin has on his first day of freedom. I could almost mirror the first Home Alone movie to the experience of ( Read more... )

Thanksgiving is tomorrow. I never thought I'd be able to say this with any honesty, but I am actually looking forward to the day and for the time I'll get to spend with my family. When I say family, I mean the people in my house, not the people I grew up with. This will be my 20th holiday season since I left home. It took a while but I enjoy the ( Read more... )

I have been reading old entries from my livejournal. I made them all private, but I have entries going back to January of 2002. I have my very first entry, it's weird to be able to read my thoughts from that long ago. But I'm reading about stuff that I had forgotten about. I'm reading about Thanksgiving 2002. If you were my LJ friend back then, and ( Read more... )

In my dream last night, my partner Frank had a scorpion behind his ear. When I pointed it out, he calmly picked it up and took it outside. He didn't get stung by it though it was trying and I was worried he would get stung in the dream. In the dream I was worried about "all the scorpions", like there were a lot of them on the ground and all around ( Read more... )

One of the things I love reading about in my older entries is the weird dreams that I had. Sometimes my dreams end up predicting the future, but I don't really realize what is happening in the dream.

Last night I had a dream that I was trying to make a little bit of extra money doing door dash and Uber eats. I did that as a full time job last year ( Read more... )

I don't know how much I've talked about "the kidnapping incident" here. but the ten year anniversary of that happening is coming up in January.

I'm just tired. I am grateful that I turned a shitty situation into personal strength, but I'm so sick and tired of being strong. I just want this to not have happened to me. I get a tight feeling in my ( Read more... )

I won money from a settlement last year. There was a lawsuit for my husband's accidental death, and me and my son won some money from it. I wanted to take my son on an epic vacation to FL where every day was a "yes day". We started out in Orlando and did a Disney day, stopped for one night in Pompano so I could get a tattoo from an old middle ( Read more... )

In 2009, Chad was physically violent with me and threw me on the floor so hard that my rotator cuff in my left shoulder became permanently damaged ( Read more... )

My kid went on a sleepover last night. I have not heard from him. If I ever want to hear from him when he is gone for a night, I have to literally beg and bribe and threaten him to do contact me. I even have to get super specific, "you have to text me at least one time before this exact time at night and if you don't then this is what will happen ( Read more... )