fuck everything.... what i havent already lost im losing now... i dont have anything left any more.....

Im actually starting to feel happy again for the first time since steve... god its still hard to even right his name. Im so happy that im friends with colleen, sam and amy again. It makes things so much better. I think colleen is becoming one of my best friends! Im also glad that I have friends like brandon and jenn that have stuck by my side threw ( Read more... )

Ok so this weekend was an absolute blast!!! I've forgotten how much fun sammie, colleen and amy are to be around... Ok so here is my weekend in a nut shell ( Read more... )

ok so this weekend sucked... it was so rough being in kansas... i thought that leaving here and going to my dads would be so much easier but all i am is the relative from chicago... and thats all i ever will be i guess... im so much different from all of them and my fucking grandma is a bitch... she had the nerve to say in front of everyone while ( Read more... )

things kinda seem to be falling apart more and more lately... for those of you that dont know my grandma.. or well great grandma died and im pretty torn up about it... I hate myself for not being able to see her one last time cuz i was stupid and wanted to be with steve for christmas which didnt even work out cuz he dumped me before it soo blah ( Read more... )

Not in the greatest mood... I cant wait for next weekend though... going up to antioch, or well i guess I should say Lindenhurst cuz thats what its really called to see Lyn, Kitten and Willi!! Gonna be so much fucking fun... Im really sad i didnt get to go up there last night, instead i get stuck with drama but whatever... Next weekend will more ( Read more... )

Im such a mess right now with everything... I hate where my life is going and I hate myself soo much... Im such a nut case... I am insane i think... idk I cant eat, or sleep or do anything right... Im so fucking sick of all this.. Ugh I hate everything.. I cant wait to leave, I can say in all honesty that I will only miss brandon... ugh fuck it

So my life is definitely interresting right now to say the least... The whole steve situation still is horrible... But my life seems to be getting itself back on track... I thank brandon for that, he seems to be the only geniune friend I have. This week has been interresting.. I think the only fun parts was chilling with brandon (frank the bunny) ( Read more... )

Wow my life sucks... i think the only thing i have right now thats keeping me sane is chilling with brandon and christmas shopping.. I hate this im sitting here next to the phone praying that Steve will call and come over so we can talk but i think he forgot again... as always... I feel so forgotten and useless... I really hate myself... I cant ( Read more... )

My life seems to be falling apart, little by little things just unravel before my eyes and there seems to be nothing i can do to stop it. right now it feels like the only person i have by my side is Brandon. Which makes me look back and thank whatever force there is out there that we became friends again... I think I would have died last night ( Read more... )