I met my mom at the Taste of Chicago today.  She is hilarious.  Apparently she has found this FREE and super-secret parking spot near Grant Park.  What I find so funny is that she refuses to tell me where this parking spot is.  Uh...  I don't have a car.  When I go into the city, I take a bus.  But, this information is so top secret that she will ( Read more... )

I have what I like to refer to as “balance issues”. I trip and fall at least once a month. One minute I’m walking and the next I’m in a heap on the ground wondering what happened. There must be a reason for this behavior other than my own clumsiness. I don’t know what I did to piss gravity off, but she’s a bitch and certainly finds perfect moments ( Read more... )

It was pouring down rain this morning as I left for work. Stormy commutes are soooo frustrating due to fewer buses, crowded streets, and bitchy ass commuters. I think what frustrates me most about traveling to work in the rain is the inability to enjoy it. I LOVE STORMS. I love wet, matted hair sticking to my face, raindrops dripping off of my ( Read more... )

My coworker eats with her mouth open which creates these slurps and smacks that are utterly disgusting. I'm at my desk twitching when each potato chip is crammed into her eager mouth. Just when I think she's finished her meal, she gulps down water. It's like sitting next to a cow. I like her, but this is so irritating. ARGH!

Okay, so because I'm a geek, I decided to look up information on the sloth. One website said, "The sloth is not lazy, just slow". Now I want to know why we have to be politically correct or emotionally sensitive to sloths. Come on. Is there some campaign led by the rare and allusive 4 toed sloth that is pushing for a more relatable ( Read more... )

I am bored. I don't do well being alone in the sense that I become a total sloth. I have lounged around my place doing nothing all night. No laundry, no fun outside, no cleaning... Sloth. sloth. sloth. Not even one of those cool 3 toed sloths. Just a sloth with no toes. Actually, that can't be right. I mean a sloth without toes would have a ( Read more... )

The daughters of my parents' friends were in a terrible car accident. The mother was the first to arrive on the scene and, being a nurse, worked on her daughter until the paramedics arrived. She wasn't able to save her daughter. She died. She died in her mother's arms 2 days before Mother's Day. I can't imagine the pain and guilt her mom must ( Read more... )