For You Part 7
Title: For You
Part: 7
March 3, 2012
Dear You,
I find it shocking that I am still alive at this moment. Pretty Boy and Bottomless Pit are bickering non-stop with not so playful punches here and there. I know they are just fooling around but they really looked brutal with each other. Tall Man and I almost got caught in the middle and we made it a point to stay away from those two. Once you get caught with the two, you might not make it out alive because both one of them will make you choose side and if you don’t, there is revenge.
I think we make a peculiar group and yet we fit. I could imagine that if you are with us, the group might be even more than perfect. You seemed to have a calming aura and you will be a big help to cease Pretty Man and Bottomless Pit’s naughty fights. Tall Man does nothing but comfort Pretty Boy and his bruised ego and just give Bottomless Pit some sweets to distract each other from having another bicker-banter-debate-with-punches. It’s not that they hate each other. It’s just how they are. Pretty Boy is the youngest and only son in his family while as Bottomless Pit is the oldest and only son in his family. Pretty Boy is the oldest among us and Bottomless Pit is the youngest. I think they like the fact that they can switch their roles; hence their non-stop loving bickers.
In case you are wondering how I met my friends, I met Pretty Boy back in junior high when we were classmates. We intended to go to the same university but we didn’t. Pretty Boy missed his entrance exam for my university because he got drunk the night before and ended up having a hang over. I also applied for his university but I missed it due to having a fever and cold and I was forced to stay home. I met Tall Man during my freshmen orientation and I knew instantly that he and Pretty Man would click so I introduced them to each other. Two months later, they started dating and have been together for the past 3 years. And you already know how I met Bottomless Pit.
There are days when I feel bothered and I can’t help but be doubtful. I wonder if it is you who are really reading my letters. I am not sure if my letters ended into the right hand, not to your parents or brother (I know it’s your brother because Pretty Boy told me you have a twin) or…someone else who decided to steal my letters. It has been 5 weeks since I started writing to you and to tell you the truth, maybe I should stop. I don’t really want to stop because believe me or not, it makes me feel happy. I get to relax after being busy for days and when I sit and write to you, my stress and worries disappear. I just thought that I should stop because I feel like this is not going anywhere. Not that I am being pessimistic but I have so many ‘what ifs’ in my mind. Like what if it wasn’t you who is reading this. What if you are reading this and silently making fun of me? What if you are already getting tired of me? What if you like someone else and I have no chance and yet I don’t have enough courage to show you myself. What if you met me one day and decided that you don’t like me? That slightly made me feel depressed, knowing that maybe you might not like me at all, even just as a friend. Some people can be picky though…
I’m sorry if I sound like a downer at the moment. It is one of those days where I feel like pondering and contemplating about life in general, which I do a lot. It’s just that I wished I could hear something from you, to know that you are the one reading my letters, to know how you felt and think, to know what you thought of me, even just as a ‘fan’ or whatever you want to call it. I feel pathetic somehow, asking for such thing from you when I already know not to expect anything at the first place. I told myself that it is fine with me that this may be one-sided and will stop when you want me to stop. But I don’t know anymore. Maybe I will stop now.
From Me.
____________________________
And now we have some angst and we have one more part to go before this is all over :) I know you're all waiting for Junsu, don't worry he'll appear soon.
Thank you so much for reading!