Just so freaking tired of this.....
I have been surrounded by lies my whole life.
The longer I work at getting a grip on them the more come around...My best friend lied to me and when I did the same to her she told me to take a hike, my friend who I am slowly learning doesnt hate me, when I think he is telling the truth to me, I hear things that make me think he doesnt want to be around me and only lies to make me happy. My family lies all the time to each other and to themselves basically its to make us not go insane but I dont like the lies or the pain of knowing that the lies can become the truth to them.
Once I embraced lies and let them be my world. Those days are over, a bubble popped long ago and the big scary world came flowing in. I dont know maybe I am just meant to be in an endless circle of hell, force to be talked about behind my back about things that arent even true and those things being said by people that swore to me that they dont do childish things like that. To be in a circle of being insercue with the way people who I think of as friends see me. To always be scared of what is around the corner.
I thought that having friends that fit would make things easier that they would understand me, the true me, and some of them do and yet some of them lie to me to make me happy. Just once I want one person to tell me the truth and no lies or coverups. No matter how much I care about anyone is they would just say, "no loni I dont want to hang out with you, I dont like you" even saying "youre a bitch" to me would be better than sitting there and talking to me as if nothing is wrong and then I find out that it could be a lie, and then I dont know who to believe or what that person thinks of me.
Yeah, I know, poor loni but this is so fucking annyoing. I am a person and I am smart and I deserve the respect of being told the truth.
I am not calling anyone a liar because they arent well not that I can truly prove.
Yes, this makes little sense and no I dont really expect comments although I would like for once to have feedback but I just am manily sick of the FUCKING SON OF A BITCH HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA
BEEN THERE DONE THAT BOUGHT THE T-SHIRT AND BURNED IT!!!!
Yep, this is a loooong rant
but love anyways